by Marilyn Lee
“I’ll only marry for love, Reed.”
He shrugged. “What makes you think I don’t…love you?”
“Do…do you?”
“I think I started falling for you the moment I saw you. I’ve been falling ever since. I was hoping you’d catch me before I hit bottom.”
She caught her breath. “Reed?”
“I can picture how you’ll fit into our lives. If I never got anything else out of life except you as my wife, I’d feel as if the good Lord had richly blessed me with everything I needed and wanted in life.”
“Oh. Would you?”
“Yes. I want to marry you more than you know.”
His eyes were filled with tenderness. She believed him and yet she sensed he was concealing something from her. “Oh, Reed, you make it so hard for a woman to remain sensible.”
“I don’t want you to be sensible. If you marry me, I won’t ever give you cause to regret it,” he promised. “Annalise, you have no idea how much...” he stopped and took several deep breaths. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes. Oh, Reed, yes, I will!”
“Yes?”
She nodded. “Yes!”
He laughed, squeezed her hands, and then ordered a bottle of champagne.
Later, she practically floated into her apartment. She sang as she undressed, got down on her knees to offer a fervent prayer of thanksgiving, and slipped into bed, feeling happier than she had for some time.
The next morning, after a long night spent reliving every moment in the restaurant, and every second of their protracted goodnight outside her door, a dozen red roses arrived. Her heart pounded hard and fast as she read the card.
Annalise,
Please accept these as a symbol of my unwavering love and unreserved devotion.
Yours,
Reed.
His unwavering love and unreserved devotion. Hers. She felt happy enough to purr.
Annalise sat in one of the big, leather chairs in Charlie’s office, staring at him in dismay. “I don’t understand,” she said slowly. “I thought you’d be pleased for me, Charlie.”
She watched as he got to his feet and came around to sit on the edge of the desk and take her hand in his. “Don’t look at me like that, sweet pea.” He had a deep, gravel voice that always had the power to assure her that all was well, even if everything in her life was going wrong.
“I want to be pleased for you, but this just doesn’t feel right, sweat pea. It sounds like you’re settling and you don’t need to.”
“Settling?” She tugged at her hand, but his grip only tightened. “Charlie! The man I’m in love with has asked me to marry him. How is that settling?”
“That’s the problem, sweat pea. You said the man you’re in love with.” He stared down into her gaze with eyes so like her own it was almost like looking in a mirror. Almost, but not quite because she’d rarely been able to deceive Charlie, who was in his quasi–father role.
“Where does he stand on this love issue? Is he in love with you too?”
She squirmed in her seat and managed to maintain his gaze. He had nodded when she asked if he loved her. Which wasn’t the same as uttering those three precious words. “He wants to marry me, Charlie and I want to marry him.”
He released her hand and went back to sit in his seat. “Without love? Sweet pea, it’s hard enough to make a marriage last when there’s love on both sides. You’re only going to make yourself unhappy.”
“He loves me,” she said in a small voice, longing for his approval.
“Then what’s wrong, sweet pea?”
“It’s just that I think there’s something he’s not telling me.”
“Then why not wait until he’s ready to be completely open with you? Give yourself time to make sure he’s not marrying you for the wrong reason.”
Like a need for physical intimacy? She remembered Reed’s words. He wasn’t made of stone...he had feelings and needs. Charlie was right. She needed to wait. She slumped back in her chair, tears filling her eyes.
He lifted a hand. “Come here, sweet pea.”
She got to her feet and stumbled into his arms, burying her head against his chest. “Oh, Charlie! What am I going to do? I love him so much!”
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I know you do, sweat pea, but you deserve to receive unconditional love as well as give it. I know it’s hard and you’re unhappy now, but just hold on a little while. If he really loves you, it’ll be worth it. If he doesn’t, you deserve better.”
She didn’t want better. She wanted Reed.
Chapter Thirteen
When she returned home from her visit with Charlie, the message indicator on her answering machine blinked. She didn’t feel like talking. She needed to think. Tossing her shoulder bag onto the sofa, she kicked off her shoes. Sipping from a cup of French vanilla coffee, she sat on the carpet in front of the balcony window.
There were dozens of things she should be doing on a relatively mild, late autumn afternoon. But all she wanted to do was cry. In the face of all Charlie’s logical, reasonable arguments, she wanted to marry Reed anyway. She loved him so much. Her love would be enough.
She knew that if she chose to marry Reed immediately, Charlie would stand by her. He would walk her down the aisle if she decided on a big wedding. But Charlie had a way of being right.
The phone rang and she got to her feet to answer it. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
At the sound of Reed’s voice, her heart began to thump and her legs trembled. She sank down onto the sofa. “Oh. It’s you.”
“Who were you expecting?”
He sounded amused and she was annoyed. He couldn’t possibly love her and always be amused at her experience. “Patrick Dempsey.”
“Will I do instead?”
“I’ll get back to you on that,” she said.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in a quiet, serious voice.
“I just need time to think.”
“Well, I have no interest in giving you time to decide that you don’t want me. I’m downstairs. Buzz me in.”
“You should have called first. I’m tired.”
“I did call. I left two messages. Buzz me in.”
She cast a quick look at the message indicator. “I’m sorry to send you away, but—”
“I’m not alone,” he said quickly. “RP and Ria are with me. Here, RP wants to talk to you.”
A moment later, she heard RP’s excited voice. “Annie! It’s me. RP!”
She smiled. “RP! Hello, honey.”
“Aren’t you going to let us in, Annie?” he asked in a hurt little voice. “We came to Philly just to see you. Don’t you want to see us?”
“Of course I do, honey,” she said with false bravado. “Let me have a quick word with your daddy first.”
“Yes?”
“It wasn’t fair bringing them, Reed,” she complained.
“Maybe not, but you know what they say about all being fair in love and war, Annalise.”
“Are we at war, Reed?”
“Oh, no, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Not unless that’s the way you want it. Then you’ll have to expect me to use every weapon at my disposal to win you.”
The sweetheart did it. She would be strong another time when he wasn’t calling her sweet names and promising to do whatever it took to win her. At that moment, she wanted to see him and the kids. “Well, you going to keep me waiting all day or are you going to come up and see me?” She punched in the code to release the door, and put the phone down.
Ten minutes later, she was on her knees in the middle of the living room floor, laughing as RP and Ria covered her face with kisses.
“Okay. That’s enough of that, you two.” Reed lifted them away from her and set them down on the sofa. Then he kneeled on the carpet in front of her. “Hi.”
She smiled to cover her nervousness. “Fancy meeting you here, Reed.”
“Nothing fancy abou
t it. I came especially to see you.”
“Oh I’m very glad to hear that.”
“He’s going to kiss her, RP.”
“No, he’s not going to kiss me!” She denied, her cheeks burning.
Reed’s blue eyes widened. “I’m not?”
“No, you’re not!” She leaned away from him.
“Inquiring minds want to know why not.”
“Yeah and me and RP want to know why not too,” Ria piped in.
“Yeah, why not?” RP echoed.
She looked expectantly at Reed. Surely he would chastise them. When he didn’t, her gaze narrowed. “Isn’t there something you’d like to say to them, Reed?”
His lips twitched. “Can’t seem to think of a thing at the moment.”
“Then I guess you’d better kiss me.”
She watched with pounding heart, as he inched forward on his knees. Her breath caught in her throat when he cupped one big hand against her cheek, bent his head, and touched his lips to hers in a series of quick, but warm kisses.
She was only vaguely aware of Ria and RP giggling in the background. It was difficult to be aware of anything or anyone else with Reed so close.
She sighed and dropped her head against his shoulder.
His arm encircled her waist. “We’re heading to the Franklin Institute for what’s left of the day,” he said softly. “Can we convince you to come with us?”
Right then she would have agreed to go to the moon with him. She lifted her head and smiled up at him. “I think you just did.”
They spent a noisy afternoon at the Franklin Institute with Ria and RP racing from one exhibit to the other.
Afterwards, they went back to her place and ordered pizza. Annalise retrieved one of the board games she had bought when Ria and RP first began visiting her. They played sprawled on the carpet until both Ria and RP yawned, curled up on her sofa, and fell asleep.
Reed pushed the game aside and dropped an arm across her shoulders. “Alone at last,” he said softly. “Come spend what’s left of the weekend with us?”
She leaned away from him. “Charlie thinks we should wait,” she said, breathlessly.
His eyes narrowed. “He’s entitled to his opinion.”
“He says I deserve to marry a man who loves me.”
He cupped her face his hands and gently rubbed the ball of his thumbs against her cheeks. “He’s right. And I do love you.”
Finally. The precious words she’d been aching to hear. “Oh, Reed, I wish I could believe that.”
“It’s clearly time I shared a secret with you. The day after we met, when we were in the kitchen talking about being friends, I was already daydreaming about standing in church, waiting to marry you.”
She stared at him, her lips parted in surprise. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, then why do I feel as if you’re holding part of yourself back? Is it because part of you loves Taylor too?”
“I never loved her.”
“Then why was it so hard to break up with her?”
He sighed. “We’d discussed marriage. I’d met her parents. I thought she was everything I wanted and needed until I met you. Then I knew what I felt for her was a poor substitute for what I was beginning to feel for you. What I feel now. But I’d lead her to think we were going to get married. I had to let her down gently. I’d already hurt you and I didn’t want to hurt her too.”
“Fine. Why didn’t you come to me once it was over? And why do I feel as if there’s something you’re not telling me even now?” she asked wearily.
He sighed and moved away from her. He sat back against the sofa, looking away from her. “Because there is.”
She bit her lip. It must be serious to make him look like that. “What...what is it?”
He glanced over his shoulder to where Ria and RP slept before hunching his knees against his chest. “Maria and I planned to have at least four kids. We started working on a family a year after we were married, but...we’d almost given up all hope of having kids by the time Ria was born six years later. RP didn’t take as long, but...”
She touched his cheek. “She had problems conceiving? Are you worried that I might—”
“No.” He drew away from her hand. “She wasn’t the one with the problem. I was.”
“Oh…”
“Yes.” He turned his head and looked at her. “So, if you marry me, there’s a very high probability that you won’t be able to have those kids you want to spoil rotten.”
She saw the uncertainly, the fear in his gaze. She squeezed his arm. “If it’s a choice between you and a couple of kids that the good Lord might or might not bless me with, I’d choose you every time.”
“That’s what I hoped you’d say.”
“But?”
“But that’s not a decision you should make without prayerful consideration, Annalise.”
“I know I love you and your kids more than I thought possible. And I know I’d rather live with you than with any other man. There’s nothing to think about.”
“Are you sure? I mean we’ll try, but...repeated failures take a tremendous toll on a marriage. As much as Maria and I loved each other...for awhile there I think she was considering leaving me.”
She caressed his face. “I love you enough not to need anything else added to our lives. If we have children together, I’ll be eternally grateful. If we don’t, I’ll still be eternally grateful. Either way I can’t lose if I have you and Ria and RP.”
“Are you sure? You’re so—”
“I’m very sure, Reed! I love you and I love Ria and RP. If we can’t have any kids together, so be it. As long as I have you and them, everything else will fall into place. Besides, I fully intend to spoil Ria and RP rotten.”
He closed his eyes and she knew he was praying. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, she saw there was still a shadow of doubt in his gaze.
“What now, you doubting Thomas?”
“There is the question of...you’re so young. When you’re forty, I’ll be—”
She pressed a finger against his lips. “The Good Lord willing, you’ll be the man I will have spent the last fifteen years very happily married to. Yes?”
He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. “I love you.”
“Yeah?” She pulled away and grinned at him. “Enough to be blind to my faults?”
Smiling, he leaned forward to kiss her. “What faults?”
Her eyes filled with tears that quickly spilled down her cheeks. “Oh, Reed, I have all too many faults. I…I need to tell you how I spent the year after I graduated from college.”
“I’m prepared to listen, but I can tell you now that I don’t care about your past. It’s just that. Past, and I love you and want to marry you.”
“Oh, Reed…I haven’t always been able to…maintain my faith.”
“Go on.”
She took a deep breath and told him of living with Tom. “So you see I have some pretty serious faults.”
He caressed her cheeks. “No one’s prefect, honey. I wasn’t exactly a choirboy before I got married. Your revelation doesn’t change anything. I still want to marry you, Annalise.”
“Don’t you want to ask me any questions about him and why it happened?”
“I assume you loved him.”
“I did, but he didn’t love me. He just wanted…cheap thrills and I…accommodated him.”
“God is forgiving, Annalise, and all I care about is the here and now and our future together. I love you and I want to marry you.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks.
“Hey! Hey. Tears?” He cupped her face in his hands.
“They’re happy tears. I never thought you’d ever love me, Reed. You’re so—”
“I’m the man who worships the ground you walk on, Annalise. The man who plans to spend the rest of his days thanking the Lord for his generosity in sending you to me. To us.”
She smiled at him through
her tears. “Let’s thank Him now. Together.”
He took her hands in his. Kneeling, they prayed in muted voices, their prayers intermingling. Hearing Reed sounding so humble as he thanked the Lord for her as if he considered her a blessing made her heart swell with love and gratitude. In her turn, she prayed that she could make him, Ria and RP happy.
“You will,” he said softly, when she fell silent. He lifted her to her feet. “Now, before we talk about getting down to some serious wooing, I think maybe I’d better ask that big brother of yours for your hand in marriage.”
“Yeah?” She laughed happily and wound her arms around his neck. “Oh, Reed! We’ll be happy together.”
“I’m looking forward to sharing years of bliss with you, Annalise,” he told her, engulfing her in his arms.
Annalise felt a sense of warmth and happiness surround them. She knew an inner peace and confidence she’d never felt. With the Lord’s help, the four of them would be happy. And who knew, the Lord being so abundant is loving kindness, there just might one day be an addition to their family. As the apostle Paul told the Corinthians, love hoped all things. It believed all things. It never failed.
The End
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Marilyn lives, works, and writes on the East Coast of The US. In additional to thoroughly enjoying writing erotic romances in various genres, she enjoys roller-skating, spending time with her large, extended family, and rooting for all her favorite hometown sports teams.
