Pursing his lips, he runs his hand through the tousled chestnut-colored mess on his head. He is really good-looking. Strong bones, kind features…to anyone else here, he’d probably be considered a catch.
“Every man in this room is staring at you and you’re unsure of yourself?”
I blush despite myself.
“Want to get out of here?”
I hear the words but don’t recognize them as my own until his mouth slacks open.
Did I actually just say that?
“S-Sure.” He nods, shifting slightly.
“Uh, I have to tell my friend I’m leaving first. Hold on.” I stand shakily and brace myself against the wall for support. Kevin is in the middle of the swarm of people, dancing like his life depends on it against the hot blond who was ogling him earlier.
I maneuver through the people to get to him.
Kevin grins when he sees me. “You’re not leaving already?” he exclaims over the booming stereo system. The guy reluctantly stops as well, smiling widely at me.
“Yeah, I’m going.” I extend my hand to the guy and he takes it happily. “Hi, I’m Darcy.”
“Doug!”
“Stay a little longer!” Kevin shouts.
I shake my head and tiptoe to whisper in his ear. “I’m going out with a guy.”
He stops swaying and gapes at me. “No way.”
“Yes way.”
He laughs, nodding. “Have fun and call me tomorrow so I know you’re alive.”
“Will do.” I kiss his cheek and wave at Doug then spin around to find Luke.
***
“So, do you want to go out or, uh, to my apartment?” Luke expresses with a knowing hesitance, opening the door to his Mercedes for me.
“Uh, I really…um, your apartment would probably be good.”
Kill me now. This was a horrible idea.
Note to self: Never make plans while intoxicated ever again.
He closes my door, and goes to the driver’s side, gets in, and starts the car.
“So what do you do, Darcy?” he asks, turning out the parking lot.
“I’m an assistant editor at a publishing house,” I reply, folding my hands in my lap. Damn it, my throat is dry. “You?”
“Lawyer.”
Oh Jesus.
“We’re not all boring and horrible as most people think.”
“I wasn’t thinking that,” I lie.
He increases the volume on the radio, filling the car with R&B music.
We remain silent for a good ten minutes. I take a deep breath when he finally speaks up.
“You’re quiet. Not falling asleep on me there, are you?”
“No. I just…I don’t usually do this.”
“Do what?”
I look down, embarrassed. He’s going to make me say it? “Go to people’s house’s I don’t know.”
“Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to. We can talk.” He lays his hand on my knee.
Yeah right. I glare at him pointedly. That’s such a line.
“Something tells me you’ve never had a one-night stand before.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yes. So, you know the reason why my night’s so shitty. What’s yours?”
“Who said my night was shitty?”
“You forget I saw you downing tequila shot after tequila shot in there.” He laughs and I can’t help but do the same. Damn, I can only imagine what I looked like.
“You’re right. I just…I found out my ex started seeing someone tonight.”
“Damn, that sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, glancing over at me.
I take a deep breath and nod again, signaling him onward.
***
“So this is it.” He tosses his keys onto the stand right by his door. His apartment is stylish and classy. The ultimate bachelor pad.
“I like it.”
He takes my jacket and deposits both of ours on a leather chair in the foyer.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I move closer to the wall to get a better look at the pictures. “Is this your family?”
“Yes. My sister and my mom.”
Unwillingly, I remember Benjamin’s place. I recall the relatively cold atmosphere apart from when he was close to me. There were no pictures of anyone in his life.
“They’re beautiful.” My heart aches with longing.
Will I ever stop wishing he would change?
I’m standing in a stranger’s apartment, thinking about someone else. This is unhealthy.
“Thanks.” He places a hand on the small of my back, then his breath is soft upon my neck. I stand like a statue, unsure of what I want, unsure as to why I’m here. This isn’t me.
“We can stop whenever you want,” he murmurs reassuringly.
I brace myself. Come on. Get yourself together. You need to forget about him, meet new people.
His mouth closes over mine and his fingers are tangled in my hair. I kiss him back with as much eagerness as I can muster, noting how skilled his tongue is. He senses me accepting his attack, and that’s when his fingers travel farther down until they’re passing my neck…my breasts…my navel…
***
Luke curls his body around mine, still recovering his breath. A salty droplet of water falls from my eye onto the white sheet.
He wraps his arms tighter around me, obviously believing he’s providing me comfort, but honestly, all I want to do is get up and go home.
I find myself briefly wondering if this is how Benjamin felt when he left me to take a shower after that first time we slept together.
“You okay?” the oblivious man behind me inquires. Oblivious to the fact that I’m upset. Oblivious to the fact that I faked two orgasms in the span of thirty minutes just so he would quit coming at me.
The saddest part is he wasn’t even bad. If I were a normal human being, he’d probably have left me well-fucked and satisfied.
A crushing feeling in my chest brings all my hopes crashing down. I can’t forget him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget him.
I nod silently to answer his question and Luke sighs, pulling me closer to him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
My eyes part with a notable reluctance, hearing a soft rustling coming from outside the bedroom door. I sit up in a rush, vaguely remembering the night before.
What was his name? Leo? Louis? Levi? Shit. I know it started with an L.
I pull up the sheet and cover myself. There’s a sinking feeling in my gut as I realize he may have seen my back.
Just as I’m cursing myself in my mind, he pops his head into the room, obviously checking to see if I’m awake. He grins and steps in. He’s in gray sweats, his chest on full display. I didn’t get to admire his body before. He is striking.
Luke!
“Hey,” I utter hoarsely, dragging my hand over my face.
“I was wondering when you’d get up. Late sleeper?”
“What time is it?” I ask, looking for a clock.
“Eleven.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. I had no idea it was so late. I can get out of your hair now.” I make sure the sheet is covering my body completely before I stand up.
“You don’t have to leave right away. I don’t have anywhere to be. It is Saturday, after all.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and I stare at him, unsure of what to do. He wants me to stay? I thought this was a one-night stand?
“Oh…uh, I should probably be getting home anyway. I’m visiting a friend today. Her husband is sick.”
“Sick?” he echoes and I know he doesn’t believe my story.
“Yes, he has cancer.”
His face falls. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. He’s a real trooper.” The truth is, Arthur is getting worse every day. Doris said the doctors are giving him six months at best.
“Okay, well, I know this is against the
complicated rules of a one-night stand, but I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go out sometime? On a proper date?” he asks, and it makes me flush seeing him so nervous. Where’s the suave guy from last night?
“A date?”
“Yeah, we could exchange numbers or something? If you want to.”
In order to save him embarrassment, I scribble my number on the notepad by his bed. Why I’m doing it, I have no idea.
He smiles, a noticeable gleam to his expression when I look back up at him, obviously proud of himself. I stand awkwardly in my spot, waiting. It takes him a moment to realize I’m standing in a sheet, but when he does, he bursts into an adorable nervous laugh and heads from the room without another word.
I pull my dress over my head quickly and ball up my underwear in my hand so it’s concealed. I hurry from his bedroom and retrieve my coat from the seat, stuffing the panties into the pocket.
He comes out of the kitchen then, mug of coffee in his hand. “Sure you don’t want coffee?”
“I wish I could,” I apologize hastily, surprised to know I actually mean it. Why do I feel like I want to see him again? I couldn’t wait to leave last night.
What the hell is going on? Do I want to go on a date with him?
Maybe this will be a slow process. At some point, perhaps I’ll be able to see myself with someone other than Benjamin Scott.
***
I step into my apartment and sag against the door in relief. I’m home.
The new apartment I moved into shortly after landing the job at the publishing house is small but in a much nicer neighborhood. I made sure I decorated everything in creams and light blues to try and keep my mood up during these past months. I drop my keys into the ceramic bowl and glance fondly at the small pictures on the stand of the people in my life.
After what happened with Ben, I couldn’t fathom living the way I was anymore. I needed to branch out, find a support system, and I found that with Doris and Arthur, and with Marilyn and Kevin. Even Cindy, my boss. While she can drive me up the wall at times, she’s one of the sweetest, most generous people I’ve ever encountered.
I take the underwear from my jacket and throw them into the laundry basket before I fish out my phone, knowing Kevin has had to have called me five times by now.
Actually, six. I type a quick reply:
Darcy: I’m ALIVE. Details later. I expect to hear some as well.
After I’ve hopped in the shower and applied my makeup, I pick an outfit to wear. I never dress up to see Doris anymore since Arthur is usually in his PJs. I choose a pair of black skinny jeans and a green t-shirt.
Doris is cooking dinner for us, and since it’s nearing five, I give her a quick call.
“Hey, Darcy. Are you on your way?”
“Yeah, I’m heading out now. Do you want me to bring anything? Is Arthur craving anything special?” I ask, knowing his favorite thing in the world is Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream.
“No, not today. I’m just hoping he’ll eat tonight.”
“Oh no. Are you sure he wants company? I could always come another day.”
“No, no! He’s been looking forward to it all day, sweetheart. Just bring yourself and we’ll be happy.”
“I’ll be over soon.”
***
“Hello?” I call out, opening the door. Doris is usually in the kitchen and always tells me to just walk in. I feel incredibly awkward just walking into someone’s home. Her house is massive and full of wild colors. Doris collects paintings from around the world, but her favorites are African tribal paintings.
“Oh! Come on in, darling!” she calls out. I close the door behind me and shrug out of my coat, leaving it on the rack in the hallway. I find her in the kitchen stirring broth in a pot. Pasta noodles are sticking out of another one for our dinner.
I walk up and peck her on the cheek, feeling as if I’m home. In the past three months, she’s done more for me than any one person has done in my life. After Benjamin, she would listen to me cry at any time of night. She always wanted to set us up. She’d tell me he missed me, that he asked her about me, but I always ignored it, believing she only said those things to make me feel better. I found a friend in her. I help whenever I can with Arthur, knowing it’s hard for her to do everything on her own. She simply will not get a nurse.
“Smells good in here.” I take a seat on a stool. “Where’s Arthur?”
“In his room. Look, I have to tell you someth—”
“Darcy?”
I freeze, hearing his voice. That perfect, angelic voice I haven’t heard in months.
Benjamin.
I finally get up the nerve to turn around and stare up at those fiery green eyes. My body is instantly weak. I have no movement except for the frantic beating of the organ in my chest.
“Benjamin…what are you doing here?” I manage to get out.
He folds his jacket between his arms and breathes in deeply. “I’m visiting Arthur.”
“I didn’t know you did that.”
“I do.”
The silence grows unbearably by the second. I try to figure out something to say, anything, but nothing comes out. Finally, Doris speaks up.
“I’m going to give Arthur his broth. You two, uh, catch up.” She takes the bowl and a spoon and disappears.
I hop off the stool. “You don’t think…?”
“Oh, I think.” Benjamin smirks. “We’re being set up.”
Ugh.
How could Doris do this to me?
“How have you been?” he asks after a moment, taking a step closer. I brace myself against the counter.
“I’m good, been good. How are you?”
How can he be more stunning than I remember?
“I’m well. Busy.”
“I read about the deal you told me about. Lifegrowth? You got the shares you wanted.”
He nods. “Yes, I did. I’m surprised you remember that.”
“I’m surprised I remember too.”
In a decisive way he comes to stand by me. His cologne bewitches me and I have to look down, knowing my eyes have to be dilated with desire.
“I spoke with Cindy the other day. She told me she’s indebted to me for referring you.” I try not to gape at him. He talks to Cindy? About me?
“She did?”
“Yes, said you’re doing well, but I already knew you would.”
“I never got to thank you. Getting that job really helped me.” I sit down on the stool neurotically. My legs are too stiff.
“Finally get out of that apartment?” He steps up to the counter, picks up the open bottle of wine, and pours two glasses.
“I did.”
He hands me one of the glasses and takes a seat on the stool beside me. “Living with Kevin yet? Or anyone?”
I take a sip of my wine to stall. He’s asking if I’m with anyone. “I live alone.”
He perks up at that, but it could honestly be my imagination. He’s dating someone…I need to remember that.
“And you?”
“What?” He brings the glass to his lips.
“Do you live with your girlfriend now?”
“You know I’m too fucked up to move in with someone, Darcy.”
I can’t believe he just said that.
“I read yesterday that you’re dating someone.” I clench my hand into a fist.
“It’s not true.”
“Wouldn’t your crisis team have corrected the situation if it weren’t true?” I ask suspiciously, taking in a gulp of my drink.
“That story was planted for exposure. It helps with business, oddly enough.”
“What?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Why would you do that?”
“You think I care what they write about me?”
“I guess not,” I mumble, hating that I sound relieved.
“Did it bother you?”
“No,” I say quickly, too quickly.
“Really?”
“I figured it was a matt
er of time. I gave up hope for us a while ago.” I force a laugh. He’s too close. I need to move. I walk to the pasta and grasp the spoon, stirring.
There’s a long pause and I wonder if it’s because he’s hurt from what I said.
“It would bother me if you were dating someone else.”
I turn to look at him bravely, knowing I shouldn’t. “It would?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
He purses his lips and frowns. “I don’t know. Have you ever felt a need, a desire, that never goes away? It’s always there?”
I stare at the noodles, wondering where he’s going with this.
“I remember when I used to touch you, you’d shiver.”
I hear him stand up behind me. Dear God, where is Doris?
“When I kissed you, you moaned, whether you were mad at me or not.”
He’s behind me now. His fingertips at the curve of my neck, grazing the skin there. My body trembles as they travel farther down my back until he curves his hand around my waist, pulling me into him.
“You submit to me without even realizing it. Even now.”
I swallow. “Are you saying you own me?”
“I’m saying the exact opposite.”
He turns me and I move easily since I’ve lost all feeling in my legs. He brings my hands to his chest. I’m awestruck and highly aroused when he shivers violently beneath my touch.
“I’m saying you own me,” he whispers heatedly. “You have for a while now.”
“Benjamin, stop.” Trembling, I push myself away from him.
“I’ve seen no one in four months, Darcy. I’ve been with no one.”
“I don’t believe you,” I hiss and he grabs my arms.
“Believe it! Darcy, I’ll say whatever you want me to. I just want you!”
“No!” I shove him away and try to get my bearings. “You’ll say anything I want you to? Why do you think I’d want that? I don’t want you to say it, I wanted you to mean it!”
“Darce, please—”
“I met someone!” I shout.
His mouth shuts like a flytrap and his teeth grind together as he stares at me in horror. “What?” he chokes out. “Who?”
Consumed By You Page 18
