by Zoe Chant
He saw Leah nod out of the corner of his eye. “She loves it. She likes to hold onto the furniture and walk along it, too. She’ll be taking her first steps soon, probably.”
“How old is she?”
“Ten months.”
“Nice work,” he told Emily. She strained forward against his hold, wanting to go faster, and he obediently sped up so that they could take a circuit around the couch.
When they got around the back of it, though, Emily saw the kitchenette and wanted to go take a look at that. There was a tiny table, and she let go of his hands to grab onto one of the chairs and try to climb it. Jeff kept his hands hovering close enough to catch her, but let her do it by herself. “There you go,” he said. “Wow! What a good climber!”
“Yep,” Leah said. “She’s a fantastic climber, which is crazy considering she can’t even walk yet. It causes me all sorts of headaches, but I can’t help but be impressed.”
Emily had achieved the seat of the chair and was now seriously considering how to get herself up on top of the table.
“I checked the cabinets earlier,” Jeff said, watching the baby pull herself up to stand on the seat of the chair, and then tackle the climb to the tabletop. “There’s tea, and some dry staples—rice, beans, oats, and pasta—but that’s about it. I saw you have some food in your backpack.”
“I do,” Leah said. “What about you? Did you bring any food with you?”
She probably thought he had a vehicle parked somewhere, Jeff realized, because how else would he have found her in the storm? She clearly either didn’t remember seeing him as a leopard, or had dismissed it as a dream, because otherwise he felt like she would’ve mentioned it by now.
And she hadn’t even seen him shift. So even if she did remember it, it would just be a memory of a wild animal.
“No,” he said regretfully. “I don’t have any food with me.” They’d be okay with the granola bars and trail mix that Leah had in her backpack, but it’d be pretty lean, especially if they were here longer than just overnight.
“I should’ve put more in the backpack,” Leah said, frustrated, “but I was packing in such a hurry, and I had to carry Emily and I didn’t want to overload myself...I had a ton of food in the car.”
Jeff perked up at that. “I could go get it. I passed your car on the way here.”
Leah hesitated. “Are you sure? It’s quite a ways. Wouldn’t that be dangerous?”
“Don’t worry,” Jeff assured her. “I’m not going to put myself in danger. I know how far I can go and what I can carry.”
It was a good distance, but it wouldn’t take long in his shifted form. He’d have to come back as a human, but he was still faster and stronger than a normal human was. He could run all the way and it wouldn’t tire him out too much.
“Anyway, we’re actually closer to your car than where I found you,” Jeff said. “So it won’t be as far as you had to go.”
“Did I miss the turnoff when I was walking?” Leah’s mouth set in an unhappy line. “I could’ve found it on my own if I’d been paying closer attention, probably.”
“The turnoff was completely buried in snow. It’s just a little dirt rut, barely wide enough for a car,” Jeff countered. “And the cabin was dark and locked. You’d have been walking up into the woods with no way to see the trail, no lights to guide you, and no way of getting in once you got here. It was definitely better to stay on the road.”
Leah’s shoulders relaxed a little. “All right. That does make sense. But you’re sure you can get down to where my car is without causing yourself trouble?”
“I am absolutely sure,” Jeff said firmly. “I wouldn’t risk my own safety right now—that’d be risking yours and Emily’s safety, too. And I hope you realize that I would never do that.”
Leah’s deep blue eyes met his across the room. “Yes,” she said softly. “I do.”
***
Leah needed to get her head on straight.
Jeff was such an obviously good man. He was preparing to go out into the freezing snowstorm again, so he could get them supplies, after spending half an hour playing with Emily and walking her around the cabin.
And his grin as he assured her that he was having fun, that babies were better company than lots of adults...it was so bright and happy that it made her chest ache.
Not to mention his steady, truthful gaze when he promised to come back safe from the supply run.
And Leah was having all sorts of problems with the way that gaze caught hers. She wanted to look into his eyes forever. She felt like as long as he was in the cabin, she could really believe that everything was going to be okay.
And that was not okay. First of all, it wasn’t a good idea to feel so dependent on someone she’d just met. Second of all, she couldn’t let herself get too distracted from the real world. As much as this cabin in the snow felt like it was something apart from civilization and everyday problems, those problems were still real.
Third of all...okay, yes, Jeff was an attractive man. He was tall and well-muscled—very well-muscled—and he had that handsome face, that bright smile and those clear gray eyes. There was nothing wrong with finding him attractive; tons of people would find Jeff attractive.
She just had to keep herself from acting on it. She was going to be heading out of town as soon as she could, after all, and she did not want a fling with a man she’d have to leave. And even if she did, there was no way he’d want a woman who came with a baby already attached to her hip.
Also, Jeff’s comments about her hair being pretty aside, Leah knew she wasn’t as attractive as she’d been before having Emily. She’d never been skinny, and not all of the baby weight had disappeared after she’d given birth, so now she had a definite rounded stomach, thick thighs, and of course her breasts hadn’t been perky since somewhere around the second trimester.
Rob had hated how her body had changed with pregnancy. “You’re getting stretch marks.” “God, you’re huge.” “You had the baby already, what’s with the belly?” He’d been into her larger breasts, but they’d been way too tender right after birth for her to let him touch them, which he hadn’t liked at all.
Even though she’d just met Jeff, she was sure that he would never make comments like Rob had. But that didn’t mean he’d think her post-baby body was hot. Men liked thin girls with high breasts and taut skin, and she’d hardly looked like that even before pregnancy, much less now.
So it would be better all around if she didn’t embarrass both of them by making some sort of move.
Besides, they were in a tiny cabin with an active baby, so there wasn’t going to be a chance. Right? Right.
Jeff was pulling on his winter gear across the room. The fire had warmed the cabin up quite a bit by now, especially near the couch, so they’d both taken off their coats. Now Jeff was re-mummifying himself into the large, parka-covered figure she’d first seen when she woke up.
“I’m about to head out,” he said. “Is there anything you want from the car besides food? Stuff for Emily?”
“Her diaper bag would be good, if it isn’t too much,” Leah said, thinking. “Her Pack-n-Play is folded up in the backseat too, but that’s probably too heavy.”
“I’ll get it,” Jeff said. “Don’t worry, I can carry it. I’d flex for you, but I don’t think it’d work in this parka.”
Leah laughed, surprised. God, how long had it even been since she’d laughed? She couldn’t remember.
“It’s about twenty pounds,” she said. “And it’s pretty small when it’s folded into its little bag. If it ends up being too much, it’s no problem, I’ll figure out somewhere for her to sleep.”
“It won’t be too much. I swear. Do you doubt me?” He raised his eyebrows, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“Okay, okay,” she said, laughing again. “Get me the Pack-n-Play.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He threw her a casual salute and headed for the door.
Her laughter lingered as he went out into the snow,
sending a gust of cold wind through the room and making the fire dance in the fireplace.
Jeff was cheerful, competent, good with Emily...he’d make someone a great husband someday, and he was clearly going to be a wonderful father.
Leah made herself be happy for the lucky woman who’d be getting that husband and father for her very own, and not burningly jealous. After all, she’d already made her choice, and she’d chosen wrong. She had to accept that and focus on making the best of it, for her and especially for Emily.
“That’s right,” she said firmly to Emily. “We’re going to make the best of it.”
“Ba ba ba,” said Emily.
That was a relief. Emily was usually a pretty vocal baby, and Leah had been starting to get a little worried that she’d been so quiet.
“How about, ‘Ma ma ma,’” she suggested.
“Ba ba ba,” Emily repeated.
“Close enough,” Leah sighed.
Emily snuggled in close, and Leah curled up with her on the couch. It was a pretty small couch, more of a loveseat, but there was enough space for her to sit sideways and lean her tired head against the cushions.
“It’s been a long day,” she said. “Wouldn’t you say, Emily? This morning we were back at home, and you woke up in your crib. Now we’re way up in the mountains having an exciting adventure with the nice man who saved us from the snow. Tonight you’re going to sleep near the fire, and it’ll keep you warm. Does that sound good?”
“Ba ba ba ba ba,” Emily said, playing with her fingers.
Leah wondered what was going to happen to Emily’s crib. Since she stupidly hadn’t planned ahead enough before she left, she hadn’t managed to find the time to break it down, drive it to the Goodwill, and leave it for some other needy mom to find. She hoped George, her landlord, would do something charitable with all of the furniture she’d left behind. She felt bad about it—and dumb, because she probably could’ve sold some of it for at least a little money, if she’d gotten herself together enough to do it.
“But I didn’t,” she told Emily. “Mommy’s made a few mistakes in the last little while. But that’s okay. It’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you realize what you did wrong and learn something from it.”
She held Emily close. The baby was blinking slowly, and as Leah held her and watched the fire, Emily gradually fell asleep against her chest. With her child calm and held safely close, Leah let her own eyes drift shut. Just a few minutes...
***
Leah jerked awake when Emily shifted in her arms, awake and ready to play again. How long was I asleep?
She had no way of knowing, she realized, because she hadn’t checked the time in hours. Still, she found her phone and thumbed it on, letting Emily down to walk along the couch. 10:30 PM.
“It’s past your bedtime by a lot, kiddo,” she told Emily.
The baby was focused on walking while holding on with only one hand, but when Leah spoke, she let go to turn her head and look. Plomp, she went down onto her butt on the floor.
“Sorry, baby,” Leah said.
Emily said something that was mostly vowels, crawling over to grab at Leah’s legs.
“What a good suggestion,” Leah said. “How about we look through the cabinets and see what there is, maybe make some tea, and figure out what the sleeping arrangements are going to be?”
“Adadada,” Emily said.
“Glad to hear you agree with me.” Leah hoisted Emily up onto her hip and went to check out the kitchen, walking very carefully on her injured feet.
In the kitchen cabinets, like Jeff had said, there were sealed containers holding flour, sugar, rice, beans, pasta, and oatmeal, as well as a tin with several kinds of tea in it. In Leah’s car, she had more granola bars and trail mix, but also apples, bread, peanut butter, and almond milk, which she’d figured she could keep in a heated car without worrying that it would spoil like regular milk.
So, they could have peanut butter sandwiches and granola bars for dinner tonight, and then tomorrow they could make oatmeal with almond milk and apple slices for breakfast. That sounded good.
Leah turned her attention to the other two rooms of the cabin. The bathroom was in working order, thankfully, so she used it—it had been a while by now—and then turned to the bedroom.
The room was freezing cold, of course, so she opened the door and hoped that some of the heat from the fire would make it in. There was only one bed, queen-sized.
Leah looked back out at the couch in the main room. It was small, more like a loveseat than an actual couch. But she could fit on it if she curled up, probably. Jeff could sleep in here, then, and she’d keep Emily in the Pack-n-Play, near enough to the fire that she’d stay plenty warm.
Right now, though, the mattress was bare. Leah looked in the closet and found sheets, blankets, pillows, and pillowcases packed in a couple of big plastic bins, probably to keep any pests out of them. She put Emily down in the center of the bed. The baby patted the surface of the mattress, curious.
“Want to play a game?” Leah asked her.
***
Jeff found Leah’s car without too much trouble. He winced at the broken window and the snow drifting in over the backseat.
When he’d found the car the first time, he’d felt a chill of fear at the idea of the baby in the car seat getting hurt by the glass. Now, even though he knew Emily was safe, the idea was even worse.
Thank God nothing had happened to that little girl. Thank God Leah was okay, and only the car had been hurt.
Jeff brushed the snow out of the car as best he could, wishing he had a tarp or some way of tacking a blanket up over the gap. He did a quick, thorough search, turning up basic food supplies and the Pack-n-Play in its bag without much trouble, although it took a few minutes to realize that the smallish gray rectangle was actually a folded-up playpen. Leah hadn’t been kidding about it folding up small.
He also found an overnight bag, crammed into the trunk alongside a ton of things that were very clearly for Emily. The bag held a few changes of clothes, some toiletries and makeup, an older-model laptop, and a book on gardening.
The rest of the car held pillows and blankets, kitchen items, the food, the diaper bag, and other necessities. She’d packed up her entire household into this car, and everything that was Leah’s alone fit into this one small bag.
Jeff took the bag along. The laptop probably wouldn’t enjoy the deep freeze of the night, and Leah would need clothes to change into.
He jogged back to the cabin, his innate sense of direction pointing the way for him even though it was thoroughly dark by now. Snow leopards were comfortable hunting at night; in the wild, they were most likely to be awake at dawn and dusk. Jeff had always found that he was able to make his way around at night almost as easily as during the day, even in human form.
The lights in the cabin windows were still burning cheerily when he arrived, but he opened the door to see the fire starting to gutter a bit in the fireplace, and no one in the main room.
“Hello?” he called, suddenly worried that something had happened.
But then he heard, “In here!” from the open bedroom door, followed by a shriek of laughter.
Curious, already smiling in anticipation of what he might find, Jeff quickly shucked off his boots and his outer layer of clothing and hopped it over to the bedroom.
When he reached the door, he saw Emily sitting in the center of the mattress, looking up, her arms raised, giggling madly.
“Ready?” Leah said, laughter in her voice, and Emily giggled harder. “Here we go!”
She snapped out a sheet over Emily’s head, and it drifted down to settle over the baby, leaving a sheet with a suspiciously baby-sized lump sticking up in the middle. The lump started shaking as Emily laughed even harder.
“Where’s Emily?” Leah wondered out loud. “Where did she go? Could she be...here?” And she swept Emily up off the bed, sheet and all, tucking her under her arm and whirling her around.
Emily shrieked joyfully, and Leah finished off by tossing the baby back onto the mattress with a flourish. There was another happy shriek, and then Emily pawed her way out of the sheet, waving her arms madly.
“Wow, it’s a party in here,” Jeff said, smiling.
He kept his tone joking, but really, the sight of Leah tossing a laughing Emily onto the bed made his chest ache a bit. Walking in the door, taking off his boots, and coming into the bedroom to find mom and baby laughing and playing...this was something he wanted for himself.
This mom and baby aren’t yours, he reminded himself. You can’t just take them home with you because you found them and kept them safe. That doesn’t mean they belong to you.
They felt like his, though. Looking at Leah’s laughing face, her hair curling around her cheeks and her eyes bright with happiness...seeing Emily waving her chubby baby arms and giggling...it brought a wave of possessiveness through him. He did want to take them home with him, as soon as possible.
But he was probably just reacting to the loneliness he’d been feeling earlier tonight. All of his siblings were married with kids, and he’d been wanting the same thing for a while now. Seeing Leah with Emily was tapping into that.
And just because he couldn’t take them home with him didn’t mean he couldn’t have any fun with them now, after all.
“Welcome back!” Leah said breathlessly. “We missed you, didn’t we, Emily?”
“I sure hope so,” Jeff said. “I missed you guys, too. Especially you,” and he tickled Emily’s belly gently.
She started laughing before his fingers even touched her, so he felt safe to really go to town on the tickling. After a few seconds of his best tickling efforts, she laughed so hard she tipped backward onto the bed, and kept laughing until she got the hiccups.
Jeff pulled back. “Well, I think my work here is done.”
Leah was smiling down at the giggling, hiccupping baby. “Looks like it.”
Then she turned the smile on him, and Jeff almost rocked back on his heels. Her eyes were lit up, her cheeks pink, and her whole face had been transformed with the force of the smile.
That’s it, he thought dazedly. That’s exactly what I wanted. To make her smile like that.
