by Nancy Pirri
Catching another steward passing by, she said, "Would you please fetch me a cold pitcher of water and deliver it to the top deck, at the bow of the ship? Oh, and a large mug of beef stock. Also, there's a well-padded chair in my husband's cabin. I'd like it carried up to the top deck as well."
"Sure thing, Madam," the steward replied.
"Thank you."
He strode off to do her bidding. She chewed her lip and wondered how she was going to coerce Harrison into going up to the top deck. She understood why he'd incarcerated himself in his cabin. He had no desire for anyone to see him in such a weak condition.
She walked down a set of stairs to the captain's door and rapped on it.
A gray-haired man opened the door and smiled. "Ah, Mrs. MacAulay. How is your husband? Has he perhaps found his 'sea stomach' yet?" He laughed, apparently amused by his little quip.
"He is not doing well at all. I would like to enlist your help in getting him to the top deck. He is much too large for me to manage on my own."
"What have you in mind?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"Fresh air. I know he won't leave his cabin, since I suspect he doesn't want others seeing him in this condition."
"A man's got his pride," the captain replied.
"Well, his foolish pride will kill him!" she retorted. "He is going to die if he doesn't keep down some fluids, but first we must settle his stomach. Won't you please help me?"
Captain Wilkinson sighed. "Just tell me where you want him."
***
Harrison seethed, furious at Brianna, and at the men who'd helped her, against his wishes. He wouldn't look at her. If he did, there was no telling what he'd do to her. He thought tossing her overboard would give him great satisfaction.
"Mark my words," Brianna said, tucking a blanket around him. "You'll feel ever so much better once you take in a bit of fresh air."
By God, this was, by far, the most humiliating day of his entire existence. He still couldn't believe it when a quarter of an hour ago his cabin had been invaded by his interfering sister-in-law and six burly sailors. Before he could even think to protest, they had snatched him up from his bed and carried him up the stairs sprawled among them. Then they plunked him down in the large chair they'd dragged from his cabin.
The sailors had quickly departed. Now he and Brianna were alone on the top deck. She knelt beside him and reached for a pitcher, from which she filled a glass. He rolled his eyes. Heaven help the man in the hands of a woman on a mission.
"Here, now. I want you to drink some water."
He growled and knocked the glass from her hand.
She gasped and watched it disappear over the ship's side. She scolded, "You are behaving worse than your nephews in a snit, and they are children! Can't you see I'm trying to help you get through the days ahead in a healthy fashion? Why did you not inform me sea travel doesn't agree with you?"
"Damn it, woman," he snarled. "I do not require your help!"
Brianna reached for his spectacles but he stopped her and gripped her wrist. "Leave the bloody things alone!"
She rose to her feet. "Why can't you accept my help? You've been so ill the boys and I have been worried about you."
"Because I'm a man, and a physician, and able to care for myself."
She widened her eyes. "You are a medical doctor?"
He nodded curtly. "Payton never told you?"
"No, he didn't."
"The eldest born MacAulay in every generation has been male, and educated to become a doctor."
She nodded. "All right, I can see where you may have more knowledge than I with regards to healing, but what in the world has gender to do with anything?"
"Men are stronger than women," he said, his voice low. "It is a man's responsibility to care for his woman and children."
"Stop being ridiculous."
Harrison groaned and shook his head. Now she was calling him ridiculous. "Leave me the hell alone."
"I am tired of your arrogance, and your damnable duty!" she shouted in exasperation. "Who do you think you are? Some omnipotent being who never gets ill? Who never errs?" She laughed mirthlessly. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you are made of flesh and blood, same as all humans, and until you can accept my help, I will not take anything from you."
She tore off her fur coat and flung it at him. It sailed through the air and landed on his head. He reached up and yanked it down, uncovering his face and spitting a mouth full of fur. He gaped at the beautiful virago making a hasty retreat, realizing she was serious about leaving him
"Damn it, woman!" he roared. "Ye can't leave me out here!" When she ignored him he shouted again, "Get back here, ye little witch!"
She disappeared around the corner. Harrison threw his head against the back of the chair and justified his anger. A man had his pride, after all. She should have discussed her idea with him first, before raiding his cabin with those sailors in tow, leaving him little dignity.
The rays of the winter sun beat down on his head, warming him. Shortly it dawned on him, as he gazed out to sea, that he felt better. Even with the cold winds from the north blowing. He followed Brianna's directions and focused his eyes straight ahead. He was amazed to discover that as long as he remained very still, for the first time in days his stomach didn't feel the least bit queasy.
He covered himself with Brianna's coat and sank lower in his chair. A drowsy languor came over him, which wasn't surprising. He hadn't slept well since the day he boarded the ship. Unfortunately, he still hadn't recovered from his journey to America in the first place, which didn't help matters. Oh, Lord, but the breeze felt wonderful! He couldn't stay out past dark, he knew, since the temperature would plummet with the setting sun. But for now he'd take advantage of the warmth, so he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
CHAPTER FIVE
Harrison shivered as a chill crept up his spine. He'd opened his eyes a moment ago and had been surprised to see night had fallen, which meant he'd slept for two hours, possibly more. The lighting from the modern electric light fixtures installed outside each cabin formed a perfect row behind him. He lay back in his chair and shifted his position, easing the stiffness in his body. He was near to freezing, but damn it if he didn't feel spectacular.
"Harrison! You will catch your death out here!"
He looked up and saw Brianna rushing toward him, skirts lifted, revealing her pretty ankles. He smiled and slid his gaze up her body until he met her eyes
"Heavens, I thought you had returned to your cabin ages ago. Come along now. I'll help you inside."
She fell to her knees beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He drew his hand out from beneath the blanket and cupped her chin, claimed her mouth, his lips slanting across hers. Oh, my Lord, she was sweet. The scent of her skin tantalized him, tempting him to do much more then take one measly kiss.
He raised his head and smiled at the stunned look on her face. "Your cure worked, Brianna. You have no idea what you have done for me, and how this remedy of yours will forever change my life. I've never been able to travel by sea, due to this hateful, debilitating illness. Do you know how many places I've never seen? How cheated I've felt?" He tilted back his head and gazed at the clear, starry night. "Can you even begin to imagine how much I've missed my brother? For ten long years I longed to see Payton, but knew there was the very real possibility I wouldn't survive the journey."
Brianna frowned. "But you came for me and my sons."
"You were an obligation. A responsibility. If I'd ignored Payton's wishes and left you in America, I wouldn't have been able to live with my cowardice."
She sighed. "Sometimes, it seems things we cannot have are ones we desire the most. If you hadn't been able to ride a horse, you would have felt cheated. If you were unable to tolerate a particular food, believe me, that food would be the one you desire more than any other." She gave him a dimpled smile and shrugged. "It seems to be the way of things."
"Brianna MacAulay, you
are a very perceptive woman."
"No, I'm not, but I have acquired an awful lot of common sense in twenty-six years of living. Of course, I believe I was blessed with this gift when I became a mother. Birthing a child does convince a girl to grow up rather quickly. By the way, I would like my coat back, thank you."
He watched her in mesmerized fascination as she pulled up the collar and snuggled her chin down inside its warmth. He would give away all his wealth to be that coat, to embrace her, to hold her close, his body hot with desire for her. To touch her as a man touches his woman.
Why not take a chance and tell her his feelings? "I want you very much," he admitted. He ignored the voice inside warning him it was too soon to make any declarations. "From the first moment I saw you at the train depot with rain dripping off your nose, I wanted you."
Brianna scowled at him as she rose, her cheeks burning. "Stop speaking such nonsense. What you need is some nourishing food in your belly, another glass of water, and a good night's rest. Can you walk, or shall I call the crew again?"
"You are what I need," he insisted.
"Stand and I will assist you," she said in her usual no-nonsense manner.
He folded his arms across his chest and sank lower in his chair. "I'm not returning to my cabin until you tell me whether you reciprocate my feelings or not."
Brianna whirled away and proceeded to pace the deck. After a time, she turned to him, eyes ablaze. "How do you expect me to answer? We all want something, do we not? But, we cannot always have what we want."
He grinned. "Not true, Brianna. Sea travel aside, I've earned, taken, or been given everything I've ever desired in life."
"Then you are an exception. You think you want me, yet I guarantee, if by any remote chance you did acquire me, it wouldn't be long before you would lose interest."
"The way my brother did?" Harrison asked, his voice low and gentle.
She turned away, but not before he glimpsed the hurt in her eyes.
He went to her side and took her hand. "You must understand, at this moment, you are the most important thing in my life. I want you more than I've ever wanted any woman. That means something, Brianna."
She stared at him with tear-filled eyes. "Why? Because you now feel well enough to..."
"Yes?" Harrison asked, smiling innocently.
She scowled. "You know well what I mean."
He leaned back and draped his arms over the rail on either side of him. "Perfectly." Lord, she was beautiful and honest. The most provocative woman he'd ever met.
"Your arrogance is unfathomable!"
"Not arrogance. Confidence."
She sputtered in reply.
As long as he'd confessed this much, he may as well say it all. "I want you in my bed. I want to view and touch your glorious hair cascading across my pillows." His gaze caressed her body. "I want to make you mine, your delectable body cushioned upon the coat you are wearing at this very moment."
He raised his brow at Brianna's shocked expression. "You cannot be all that surprised about my wanting you, for I am certain you have felt this attraction between us. We are like magnets, drawn to each other. I know you feel the same way. Do not deny it."
She narrowed her eyes. "There is more to all this, is there not?"
Damn! Could the woman read minds? He was not at all prepared to delve too deeply into his true reasons for coming for her, aside from duty. But perhaps it would be better to tell her the truth of the matter, portions of it, at least.
"Yes." He took a deep breath. "If I do not produce an heir by my thirty-first birthday, I will be forced to forfeit the MacAulay estate."
Shock crossed her face. "When is this birthday?"
"In fourteen months time."
She pressed a hand against her heart. "Why me?"
"Due to the short amount of time I've been given to find a wife, I believe a woman who has already conceived and birthed children will have a better chance of providing me an heir. You meet the criteria since you have birthed sons for my brother."
"Perhaps that is the true reason you came to fetch me," she said. "Perhaps it had nothing to do with duty."
He hoped it would be a long time before she discovered the truth of the matter. He considered himself damned lucky that she would be living in Scotland, far away from America. The chances were improbable that she'd ever learn her solicitor wasn't immune to bribery.
"Harrison?"
He looked up, chagrined that she had caught him deep in thought.
"This situation could not be more perfect for you, could it?"
He frowned. "Contrary to what you may think, I never before contemplated marrying a woman, sight unseen. Especially when I have had the cream of the crop of beautiful, tractable ladies at home, willing to do my bidding."
"So, when did you conceive this incredible notion that I'm the woman for you?" she inquired.
"Some time ago." He said no more, deciding it prudent to keep his mouth shut. She'd never believe him if he told her the truth; that he'd fallen in lust with her, from a portrait, ten years ago.
"I may regret it, but for some reason, I believe you. I've also felt this attraction between us, but it isn't love. I will not marry again, and I cannot be...intimate with a man without benefit of marriage. So you see, your proposition would never work. A woman needs to feel she is in love, and is loved in return before entering an intimate relationship with a man," she said. "And that can only happen in the sanctity of marriage."
Harrison heard the trembling in her voice and regretted his impatience. He took her hand and smiled into her eyes. "We will marry then."
She wrenched her hand away. "I've told you I will not marry again. Besides, even if we were to exchange vows, would you be content with me for more than a fortnight?"
Her words gave him pause. Thus far, he'd been fortunate to have many women in his life, but not one for very long. But then that was because not a one of them was perfect for him. He believed Brianna was perfection, but wasn't at all sure about being in love.
"I cannot say how long these feelings I have for you will last since I've seen many more unhappy marriages than happy ones." He tightened his jaw. "But I desire you more than I have ever desired anyone else. When we mate, it will be very, very good between us."
Brianna sighed. "I'm afraid this is all impossible."
She paced the deck. Harrison stared at her profile, struggling to maintain his composure. What he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her into submission. Never would he have believed that begetting a son could be so difficult!
"I gather matrimony is not a requirement?" she asked.
"No, just the heir." He thought about how often he'd taken his privileged life for granted. His entire existence had been turned upside down with the revelations in his father's will after his death six months earlier. The requirements placed the MacAulay clan's future in jeopardy. He was still reeling from the loss of his father and brother, within a short span of each other.
"Let's get you out of the cold," Brianna said.
She led him across the decking and down the stairs. When they reached his cabin she stopped just inside the door. "I will leave you to a good night's rest. Sleep with two pillows propping you up and you should be fine."
An elusive thought lingered at the back of Harrison's mind as he thought over her words: She needed to feel married in order to be intimate with a man, but had no desire to be married. And then the answer to their dilemma was right in front of him.
She turned to leave but he wound an arm around her narrow waist and hauled her inside the cabin, slamming the door behind them. Then he twirled her around in a madcap dance, laughing the entire time.
"Have you lost your mind?" she asked when he paused with his arms around her. She stared at him as though he were stark-raving mad. "What is wrong with you?"
"Hand in fist! Why the hell had I not thought of it earlier? Thanks to your chattering I remember."
"I have never chattered in my
life." She pressed her hands against his chest for release.
He tightened his grasp and grinned into her scowling face. "You do and I adore it. Allow me to explain. You object to marriage, but would consent to another arrangement, if you had something to gain from it I'm guessing."
"Let me go, Harrison. I'm exhausted, and do not understand you at all."
He released her and she headed for the door, but her steps slowed with his next words.
"Handfasting. It is an old Scottish custom. A cohabitation agreement made between a man and a woman who declare themselves to each other in a public place. The couple is considered married for a year and a day."
"And then?" she asked.
"The couple would know after that time passed whether or not they desired to remain together. If they do, they marry. This would be a perfect solution for us, Brianna."
Harrison decided it expedient not to mention that handfasting was not as socially acceptable in Scotland today as it had been in years past. That did not stop a number of men and women from still partaking of the ceremony.
"So, according to Scots law, we would not be married?"
He nodded. "Yet in the eyes of society, the relationship would be considered as valid as any marriage. And if our union produced a son, he would acquire my name and be recognized as my heir."
"Maybe you are right," she replied.
"I promise, Brianna, you will not regret this."
She jammed her hands on her hips and frowned. "Taking into consideration we have not seen eye to eye on one blessed thing since the day we met, we shall see. You did mention I would gain something from this arrangement."
"What would you like?" he asked, generosity enveloping him now that he was certain she would agree to become his handfasted wife.
Brianna sank down on the bed, deep in thought. After a while, she tilted her head back and leveled her eyes on him. "I want sole custody of my sons."
