The flat smelled of sex and old sweat when Ashleigh returned home after work. Linda had yet another man round. The long coat which sat abandoned on the table suggested it was someone different from the man she’d walked passed earlier that morning. He’d smelt of cigarettes. The coat now on the dining table smelt of damp houses. Everything about the flat oozed with filth. With a sigh, she headed straight to her bedroom, throwing the newspaper onto her bed. Determination ran through her as fast as the trains which roared past her window several times every day.
Because Simone had promised to buy pizza for them later that evening, a sense of relief washed over her tired body, grateful she didn’t have to hunt for anything edible before going out. Her new locket twinkled at her as she studied it in the cracked mirror on her bedroom wall. She instinctively reached up to touch it with delicate fingers. A smile reached her lips as her thoughts went to Reece and Sam. Their kindness was like a gift in itself. Without them, and her new found friend Simone, things would have been unbearable this birthday.
The bus journey didn’t take very long. With the piece of paper held in her hand which gave Simone’s address, her eyes scanned each door for the right number. The house was a pleasant surprise. It was a semi-detached, with a small, but neat, front garden. It looked so welcoming; a huge contrast to the flat she called home.
The tinkling of the door bell was soon answered by a pyjama clad Simone.
“Hi Ashleigh. Come on in.”
The house held such a homely feel. With wall lights in the lounge dimly lit, music playing quietly in the background, the scene was set for a cosy evening. The large, comfortable settee engulfed Ashleigh’s tiny frame. Her eager eyes searched the room frantically, taking in all its beauty. From what she’d seen so far, it was tastefully decorated. The skirting boards were gloss white, unlike at her flat where years of smoking had caused them to turn yellow. There was a huge marble fire place, home to a modern brass fire. There was only a two bar electric heater in the flat. A flat screen television stood in one corner, the other corner housed a five foot fish tank. The nearest thing Ashleigh had to pets were rats, scurrying around by the outside bins. The colder months brought in cockroaches, imposters who climbed in through the gaps in her bedroom window frame. On many occasions she’d seen silver fish in the kitchen too.
“Hope you don’t mind that I’m in my pyjamas,” Simone said, knowing full well Ashleigh wouldn’t mind.
“Not at all. In fact, I’d have put mine on if it wasn’t for the fact I was using public transport.” This comment caused giggles.
“It’s the first thing I do when I’ve been at work all day,” Simone confessed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love getting dressed up as well.” Ashleigh didn’t know what it felt like to snuggle into nice pyjamas, feeling the comfort of a settee imbedding itself into her body. Most of her time was spent in her bedroom which was so cold she was forced to wear several layers of clothes. Whatever was to hand she’d put it on. “What can I get you to drink Ashleigh? I’ve got red or white wine or lager.”
Flushing a little Ashleigh replied, “I’m not sure. I’ve never had any alcohol before.” The look of total shock didn’t escape Ashleigh.
“What never?” Simone questioned before adding, “Are your parents’ tea total or something? Religious beyond belief perhaps?”
“I told you earlier that my mum’s an alcoholic, and I wasn’t joking either. Alcohol is something I’ve never really bothered with, besides, I’ve only turned eighteen today so drinking has been out of the question really.”
Simone felt full of remorse. “I actually thought you were only joking when you said that about your mum earlier. I’m so sorry Ashleigh, I didn’t mean to be in-sensitive.” Simone was beginning to see a little of what Ashleigh’s life was like, concluding how much of a sheltered life she must have had. Not wanting to embarrass the poor girl, she came up with an idea. “How about I pour you a glass of white wine with some lemonade? I’ll make you just a small one.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
After a little tinkering in the kitchen, Simone came back with a tray, upon which held two drinks, a dish with some crisps and a present.
“There you are,” she said, giving Ashleigh a glass of wine. “And this is also for you.”
“Simone, you shouldn’t have,” Ashleigh protested upon seeing the gift.
“Nonsense. That’s what friends do.” The sound of that one word warmed Ashleigh’s heart like never before. Yes, she’d had friends at school but Simone seemed different somehow. “Why don’t you open your present?” Simone suggested.
Ashleigh’s fingers picked at the wrapping paper quickly, revealing a black leather bag. She stroked the soft leather, holding it to her nose to smell its expensive fragrance.
“I wanted this one when I came into your work. How did you know?”
“I saw you looking at it both times you came in and I just knew I had to buy it for you when you told me it was your birthday.”
“Thank you very much Simone. It’s beautiful.” This time, Ashleigh rushed over to her new friend, giving her a firm squeeze.
Holding up her wine glass Simone said cheers to Ashleigh.
“So,” Simone added. “How’s the flat hunting coming along?”
“Not very well. Either I can’t afford them or they’re too far away for me to get to work.”
“Couldn’t you find a job elsewhere?”
“I could but I really like it where I am. It was boring at first but now I’m starting to get to know the locals. Then there are the owners, Reece and Sam. Look what they bought me.”
Simone moved closer to have a look at the locket, admitting it was beautiful.
“They must think a lot about you.”
“Do you think so?”
She’d never thought about that. The more Simone listened to Ashleigh, the more she realised how unsure she was about herself. Even though she was only eighteen, Simone felt that throughout her life, there’d been nobody who’d given her any positive feedback, no reason for her to ever feel good about herself. More and more did Simone wonder about the relationship between Ashleigh and her mum. She didn’t feel comfortable asking her questions about her family. Somehow it would feel as though she was prying.
After their glasses had been refilled, Simone sat back and asked, “Was your mum alright with you being here? She didn’t want you to go out with her for a meal or something, did she?” The question had been a casual one but the look Ashleigh held on her face caused alarm. In an instant, her body had stiffened, seeing her face grow paler. Knowing she’d hit a nerve made her want to take back what she’d just said. “I’m so sorry Ashleigh. I don’t want to pry.”
There were tears now in Ashleigh’s eyes. She swallowed deeply. “My mum doesn’t have anything to do with me Simone.”
“Listen,” Simone began, “you really don’t have to tell me anything. I’m so sorry for what I said.”
“It’s alright. I want to tell you. I think it’s time.” For the first time ever in her life, Ashleigh felt brave enough to confide in someone. Maybe talking about how she felt would do her good. With that thought in mind, she began the marathon task of bearing her soul. The room was peacefully quiet, giving Ashleigh the sign that this was her cue. “For years, my parents have smoked and drank, with neither of them working. We live in a scruffy flat; it’s cold, dirty and smelly. Most days there is hardly any food to eat. Well that was up until I began to work. My dad used to hit me and my mum, but now he’s in prison for killing someone during a robbery. I thought my mum and I would be alright with him gone but we’re not. She’s drunk more often now and has started to …” The words she wanted to say felt dirty and shameful as they sat on her tongue. Simone didn’t have a clue how Ashleigh must be feeling, sitting there telling her all this. She placed a gentle hand on hers.
“You don’t have to say any more Ashleigh.”
“I do. I have to face the truth.” Her voice quivered, but even on the brink of
tears, she found an inner strength to carry on. “My mum is an alcoholic and has started offering herself to men for money. We never speak about it. Never hold any type of conversations with each other for that matter. I suppose we’ve never had a normal mother and daughter relationship. All of my life, well as far back as I can remember I’ve lied to friends about who I am, where I live. They’ve never been to my house or me to theirs, even though I’ve wanted to so much. Just to feel part of a family means so much to me. I know someone else’s family wouldn’t have been my own but I just wanted to be a part of something so much.” After a slight pause to bite back tears, Ashleigh carried on. “I also knew that for me to go to a friend’s house would have meant inviting them back to mine. That was something I could never do. Do you understand?”
“I think I do, yes,” Simone answered in a soft voice.
“I did have friends at school but I don’t think the relationship I had with them was true friendship. Perhaps they hung around with me just out of pity, I don’t know.” Telling Simone all of this was a great task, yet something inside her made her feel stronger than she’d ever felt before. “I would have made a go of my relationship with my mum you know, but I can’t now. Things have gone too far. My own mother is a prostitute and she will not drag me down any further. I have to get out Simone before I go insane. It’s the only way for me to try and get a normal life for myself.”
Realising the huge burden this young girl had carried with her for far too long, answered Simone’s earlier doubts about Ashleigh’s ability to live on her own. Although possessing a sense of naivety, she was far more capable of looking after herself than anyone could ever imagine. On the outside, Ashleigh looked vulnerable, but on the inside, she’d had to develop a strong, defensive shell around herself.
As they stared at each other in silence, Simone knew she was capable of offering the help Ashleigh needed. More importantly was the fact that she wanted to.
Moving closer to her she said, “Why don’t you move in with me?”
“What?”
“Move in with me. Here.”
“But … I couldn’t.”
“Yes you could and besides, I want you to. I’ve three bedrooms here. You could choose which one you’d like.”
“Simone, we’ve only known each other for a short while.”
“I know, it’s crazy,” she laughed, “but I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer. Please say you will.”
They sat staring at each other for a silent moment. Ashleigh, unable to answer, mulled over Simone’s proposition. Days ago, she’d turned to God for help. Had this been his way of guiding her to a better life? To a life she’d always dreamed of. What would the last few days have offered her had she not entered the department store when she did? Her ticket to freedom had finally been handed to her. Should she take it or decline it, continuing to live a life of misery and neglect?
“Okay. I will.” Both girls were laughing through tears of joy, hugging each other like old friends. It had become a memorable day for Ashleigh, the best she could ever remember. “I can’t thank you enough Simone. You are truly my saviour.”
“Drink up and I’ll show you the two spare rooms.”
The rooms were both plainly decorated and scrupulously clean; the smallest of which was on the right hand side of the landing, just before the bathroom. The one on the left was considerably bigger. As Ashleigh went inside, she knew she’d choose this one. There were lilac walls filled with bookshelves, a chest of drawers set against the wall by the window and a double bed, dressed in mauve bedding. Ashleigh could hear it calling out to her to choose it. Simone commented that this was her favourite room also and with a view of the spacious back garden from the window, it proved to be an excellent choice.
“I’ll have this one Simone.”
“Good, I’m glad. If you want to change anything about it please feel free.”
“It’s perfect as it is. I can’t believe it Simone. I’ll have a double bed all to myself. Thank you so much.” The girls hugged again before Simone spoke.
“When can you move in?”
Without giving any thought to either her mother or her reply, Ashleigh said, “How about tomorrow?”
“Are you sure your mum won’t mind?”
For a split second Ashleigh felt a pang of guilt, despite knowing she needed to move on quickly. Her mum would be left all alone in that filthy hovel, whose life would continue on the same unsteady path for probably the rest of her days. But surely her mum was not her responsibility any more. She’d tried to offer her help. Tried to guide her into making a better life for herself, all the while her help had been rejected. Telling herself that it was her mother’s own fault for the way she chose to live, Ashleigh grew taller before saying, “She probably won’t even notice I’ve gone. So tomorrow it will be.”
“Let’s have another glass of wine to toast the good news shall we? And then I’ll order the pizza,” she added.
“Why not.” The girls chinked their glasses.
“To tomorrow; the beginning of your new life.” The words Simone said felt so good to Ashleigh’s ears.
“To a new life,” Ashleigh replied, smiling like she’d never smiled before.
Chapter Four
There was only Ashleigh on the last bus which suited her fine. She hated the odd balls that usually chose to travel on last buses. There were the rowdy drunks, the perverts, and the weirdo’s, all travelling around for different reasons. The driver made a small amount of conversation with her which she didn’t mind. She felt good, if a little nervous at having to approach her mum about moving out. But, it needed to be done. Having decided earlier that she wouldn’t say anything until the morning, Ashleigh wondered if her mum would be remotely bothered. A small part of her knew that she, Ashleigh Sloane would feel some sadness at leaving her mother behind, but for her own sanity, she was doing the right thing. This would be the release she needed from the crazy life she’d been thrust into through no fault of her own. For a young girl, Ashleigh had had to deal with too much by herself. She’d been willing to give it a go with her mum, encouraged her countless times to find work, stay off the booze and sort herself out. Instead, Linda had done the opposite and hit the self destruct button. It was too tempting to let pangs of guilt get the better of Ashleigh, winding their spiteful ways around her conscience. Yes, Linda was her mother, the lady who’d given birth to her. But what role as a mother had she actually played in Ashleigh’s life? Apart from providing a roof over her head, she’d provided nothing else. Ashleigh wasn’t asking for fancy clothes or expensive holidays, just an interest in who she was. How well she’d done at school would have been a start. Linda had failed to protect her against her drunken father too, turning a blind eye when seeing him going into her room; failing to defend her when he raised a fist to her. If Ashleigh was to ask herself if she loved her mother, the answer would falter on her lips. Could she describe what she felt for her as love? It was doubtful.
Getting through her life day to day had been a struggle. But soon that life would be over. Simone had acted like her Guardian Angel, showing more compassion in the short time they’d known each other than her mother had shown since giving birth to her. It was too late for doubts; her chance had come for her to change her life.
Looking out of the grimy window of the bus, watching the run down and abandoned shops pass her by, Ashleigh knew that to have regrets would cost her dearly. Linda didn’t care about her welfare; she never had and never would. And to a young girl, that was a bitter blow.
Meeting Simone had been like a dream come true; convinced it was down to God’s work, hearing her cries for help. Because of Him, she’d vowed to herself to start going to church a lot more. Not because she wanted more help but because she needed to say thank you. This way, she felt she’d be able to talk to God without anyone mocking her.
The bus driver said good night to Ashleigh as he opened his doors with a whoosh to let her off. It was ten o’clock, very dark, wit
h a slight frost forming on the windscreens of parked cars. Tonight would be the last night she’d have to endure the freezing temperatures in her bedroom. Her life with Simone would be so much easier.
A door banged just as Ashleigh’s foot hit the bottom step to the flats, startling her somewhat. But it was the heavy footsteps running down the stairs which kept her frozen to the spot. Heavy breathing sounded. A man wearing a hooded jacket came into view. He paused for a split second at the top of the last set of steps when he saw Ashleigh but carried on down them, knocking her out of the way slightly with his shoulder. The all too familiar smell of a smoker polluted her nostrils. If she hadn’t have known better, she would have said he was running away from something or someone.
Sensing that something was wrong by the half open front door, Ashleigh entered the flat cautiously. Half expecting to find her mum slumped in front of the television totally wrecked only added to Ashleigh’s surprise as the television wasn’t even on. There weren’t any men’s shoes sat by the discoloured skirting boards, nor were there any items of men’s clothing hanging lazily on the stained chairs. It was unusual for Linda to be out somewhere, Ashleigh thought as she put down her bag and closed the door. Maybe she’d gone out in a drunken stupor, simply forgetting the door hadn’t slammed shut. The flat held an unhealthy silence. Ashleigh stood for a moment listening. Her heart began to pound, drumming sinisterly through her ears.
“Mum? Mum, are you here?”
There was something about the silence which added to the eeriness around her. Noticing her mum’s bedroom door slightly ajar, she went over quietly. She knocked gently, knocking again when no reply came. Edging herself closer to the room, Ashleigh peered in. The light was on but what she saw didn’t register immediately. Maybe that was nature’s way of preparing her. Despite her bedcovers being soiled from never being washed, the stains of blood were still noticeable. Seeing her mum sprawled out on the bed, naked, lifeless, and with her throat cut would be a sight she’d never forget. The dripping of blood falling freely down her limp hand, onto the bedroom floor provoked the silence; that was until Ashleigh screamed.
Scandal Page 4
