She had taken three steps when a woman emerged from the rocks to her left. Joley recognized Tish Voight, Logan's estranged wife. Joy swept through Joley, and she realized just how much she had missed her. Tish had been a mother hen to all of them, but especially to Joley, as she was younger than the band members.
"Joley!" Tish's face lit up and she ran across the parking lot toward her.
"Tish!" Joley, who rarely touched anyone, threw her arms around Tish and hugged her close. "I've missed you. When did you get in? Are you staying?"
Tish hugged her back hard. "Actually I just arrived, my car's down in the lot. You look great, Joley. The band has done so well. I'm really proud of all of you."
"We've never been the same without you. How have you been? Tell me everything."
Joley couldn't believe how good Tish looked. She'd matured in the last few years. Medium height, she had long dark hair, which she still pulled back in a ponytail, but it looked shiny and healthy, as did her skin. She had a woman's body with lots of curves. That was Tish--no makeup, no glamour, but all beautiful. There wasn't a devious bone in her body.
"I've been working; teaching again. Love the kids, you know I do. So it's all been good."
"But you miss us, right? Miss the road and the craziness?" Joley asked hopefully.
"I miss you and the boys, not so much the craziness." Her eyes looked sad, although she was smiling. "Logan called and said it was an emergency and he desperately needed me, so I came." She shrugged. "I didn't want to come, Joley. I can't afford the risk."
"I know. I'm so sorry, Tish, all of us were. You and Logan..."
"Don't. I don't want to go there. Logan and I were childhood sweethearts. I guess that's very cliche nowadays. He outgrew me. I'm small town and I like it that way. He's uptown and he likes it that way."
"Neither of you filed for divorce," Joley pointed out. She couldn't tell Tish that she felt her sorrow at the loss of her marriage, and that she knew, after touching her, that Tish still loved Logan. Joley hadn't meant to invade her privacy.
Tish shrugged. "I'm not looking for another relationship, and it seemed too big of a hassle. I figured if he ever wanted to divorce me, he'd just do it. He has the lawyers and I don't care about his money. He knows that. I've made my own living without him."
"But he sends you money, doesn't he?"
"He insisted on a joint account, and apparently he puts money in it every month. He told me once everything he had was in both our names, but I never checked and I've never accessed the bank account."
That was total Tish. Independent and fiercely proud. Joley understood her. "So are you going to stay and help with the baby?"
"I don't know. Logan wants me to, but you know me, I'll get attached to her and then won't be able to let go when the time comes."
"No one would make a better mother, Tish. You were born to be a mother."
"I can't have children--at least I can't give birth to them. I had cancer as a child. The radiation and chemotherapy saved my life, but not anything else." She glanced toward the band's bus. "I always wondered if that..."
"Tish! No! Logan was crazy about you. Drugs and alcohol and groupies throwing themselves at the boys ruined everything. You know that. It was too much, too fast, and we couldn't handle it. None of us--except you."
Tish had always stood for them, but as their popularity grew, the band needed someone who knew the business and could handle all the details of a huge venue, and Jerry had come into their lives. With Jerry had come overnight success and all that came with it.
"I didn't handle it all that well either," Tish protested. "Seeing all those girls willing to do anything with Logan--with the others--they were like brothers to me, it was overwhelming. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed away so long, but I thought our marriage could handle it." She shook her head. "Now look at us. I'm alone and he's got a child."
"Logan has sole custody of the baby, Tish. Lucy gave up all rights to her and she doesn't want her at all. Neither does Lucy's mother. They wanted money. When Lucy found out Logan was married and he had dropped her, she went berserk. She has mental problems and I think she's all the mother can handle. If you're still married to Logan, I don't know the legal ramifications, but I think you should be able to adopt the baby easily. Maybe this is your chance. Talk to Logan about it."
Tish sighed. "That's one more tie to him."
"Is that really such a bad thing?"
Angry voices rose, and Joley looked past Tish to the three men arguing. She had never seen Brian actually lose his temper, but he shoved Dean, his posture very aggressive. Jerry stepped in between the two men, pushing Dean away from Brian. She was still too far away to hear what they were saying, but body language suggested it was a fairly violent argument. She could see several members of the crew watching the three men while pretending to work.
"Do you know what that's about?" Tish asked.
Joley sighed and filled her in. "I guess I should have been the one to speak with Dean, instead of making Jerry and Brian do it."
"No, you shouldn't," Tish said. "Jerry's your manager and he deals with the crew. You aren't responsible for anything these people do. If Dean took advantage of a minor, Jerry will fire him. And if he knows where she is, they'll get it out of him. You can't be involved in things like that. You're the star, Joley, the band is secondary. If you got involved in a confrontation with a crew member, someone's going to videotape it and it will end up on television, the Internet and especially the tabloids. Let Jerry do his job."
"I don't want it to come to blows. Brian almost never loses his temper. I can't imagine what would make him get so angry."
"You can't?" Tish shook her head. "The band looks at you as a younger sister. They're very protective and very loyal. My guess is Dean said something very ugly about you and got Brian's back up. None of them are going to let anyone say anything bad about you."
Joley felt a tug at her heartstrings. She felt as if the band were family--brothers she loved--but their camaraderie with one another was very different than with her and she always felt the odd man out. "Since you've been gone, I haven't felt as much a part of things as I used to," she admitted, frowning as she watched the argument get a little more heated.
The disturbance had attracted the attention of not only the crew, but also the Russians. They paused in their work and observed the altercation. Joley's palm began to itch. She rubbed it against her thigh, and her heart began to pound. Ilya was nearby--very close. She spotted him making his way to the two Russians and her stomach did a little somersault. He moved with fluid grace, like a large jungle cat, all rippling muscle and power, yet conserving energy with every step.
"Whoa! Mama mia, who is that?" Tish asked. "He's hotter than Hades."
Joley considered feigning indifference, but this was Tish. "Ilya Prakenskii, Nikitin's bodyguard."
"He can guard my body anytime." Tish said appreciatively. "Have you..."
"No. But ask me if I want to."
"You'd have to be dead not to want to. I think I'm having an orgasm looking at him."
Joley pressed her palm tighter against her thigh. The center throbbed and burned, and deep inside, in her most feminine core, the same throbbing and burning began. It was going to start all over again, that terrible need, the emptiness that nothing--no one--could fill but Ilya. If she was going to suffer, it was only fair that he should. She wished she could make him feel the same relentless, merciless craving.
Lifting her palm, she studied the center. Already the discoloration was appearing. Faint marks, two circles intertwined. Joley lifted her gaze to Ilya, watching his every move as he approached the two Russian guards. She took a deep breath and ran her finger over the center of her palm, imagining touching him intimately, holding his body close to hers and claiming it for her own.
Ilya's body jerked. He looked up, his gaze locking with hers across the distance. Time seemed to stand still, and for one moment there were only the two of them locked together in th
e natural wonder of the amphitheater.
I'm sorry. She hadn't believed she could really give him such a jolt of physical awareness.
Be very careful playing with fire you don't understand.
She moistened her lips and turned away from him. It was his magic--not hers--and she didn't understand it. But she knew how dangerous it could be.
"Is something going on between you two?" Tish asked.
"Not yet," Joley answered honestly. "I'm still considering the price tag."
"For a man like that? It's going to be hefty."
Joley laughed. "I missed you, Tish. You're so right, about a lot of things, but especially about this."
"But I bet he'd be worth it."
Joley had the feeling she was going to find out. If she didn't find something huge to put on the con side of the list fast, she would allow him to seduce her, and then she'd be in way over her head. Tish wasn't like Joley's sisters. She looked at the man and saw "hot" all over him. She didn't see the neon warning lights flashing, danger, danger. If Joley hung out with Tish, she could easily talk herself into an affair with Ilya, because she desperately wanted him.
"Have you seen Logan yet?" Joley asked, needing to switch the subject. She couldn't think too much about Ilya, especially with him close by. She couldn't afford for him to be reading her thoughts.
The teasing smile faded from Tish's face. "We spoke on the phone, and I said I'd meet him here, but I haven't seen him yet. I drove all night to get here, and now I'm thinking of jumping back in the car and calling him from the safety of two or three hours away."
Joley looked past her. Logan had just stepped out of the bus, and his radar had found Tish immediately. He was staring at her with naked longing. "I think it's too late to run, Tish. He's coming this way."
Tish didn't turn around. Instead, she closed her eyes briefly, as if gathering strength. Joley pressed her hand for courage. "I hope you stay, Tish. You're family to all of us and we've never been the same without you." She kept her voice low. "But I understand if you can't stay."
Tish's fingers clung to hers for a moment, and Joley felt her tremble. Instantly she felt protective and stood her ground, letting Tish hold on to her for courage.
Logan stopped a few steps short of them. "You came, Tish." His voice was low and gravelly, choked even.
Joley was nearly overwhelmed with the mixture of emotions pouring out of Logan. He was close to a breakdown, she realized. The pregnancy had been a nightmare, with Lucy threatening to kill herself every few days and the paparazzi dogging his every footstep. He stood directly behind Tish, his usually good looks worn and tired.
Joley watched the struggle on Tish's face as she turned to face her husband. "I came," she agreed. Her fingers tightened around Joley's.
"Thank you for coming, Tish. Believe me, I know what I'm asking." Logan raked both hands through his hair and then rubbed the shadow along his jaw. "I have the baby here. She's been crying most of the night, kept us all awake. I don't know what's wrong." He glanced over to where Jerry and Brian were now shouting at Dean. "Everyone's temper is a little frayed. They all took turns holding her to try to get her to sleep, but we can't keep that up."
"The baby's in the bus?" Tish asked, obviously melting at the sheer desperation in Logan's voice. "Show me."
Joley took a couple of steps toward Jerry and Brian, but Tish hung on to her like a pit bull. "It looks like it's getting out of hand over there."
"Don't think you'll make it any better," Logan cautioned. "Dean was talking crap about you this morning and Brian overheard him. He was seething when he came into the bus. He's hard to rile, but when he gets going, you've got to look out. Come see the baby."
Joley frowned, torn between hope that she could end the argument that looked like it was coming to blows and fear that she would possibly make it even worse. Dean glanced up, and his venomous gaze met hers across the distance. He spat on the ground and gestured obscenely at her. Even from where she was, Joley could feel the malevolence pouring from him to her. She shivered as waves of hatred and anger washed over her. And something else. She turned her head quickly to see Ilya straighten, his gaze on Dean, hard and cold and glittering with promise. His aura was black and swirled around the edges with blood red. She drew in her breath sharply.
Brian spun Dean around and smashed his fist into his face. Dean staggered back and then flung himself on Brian. Around them the crew sprang into action, surrounded the two men and dragging them apart.
Logan pressed Tish and Joley forward toward the band's bus. "You don't need to be out here. Somewhere, you know someone with a camera is lurking. Let Jerry and Brian toss the bum out on his ass."
"I feel responsible," Joley said.
"He's right, Joley," Tish agreed. "You can't be involved in that. Brian shouldn't have been either. Either the man knows something or he doesn't. If he does, he should just give them the information, and if not, he shouldn't be so resentful that they asked him. It's a perfectly legit question when some kid is missing." She tugged at Joley. "Let's go see the baby."
Joley glanced back toward Ilya, but he was walking away, heading toward the front of the amphitheater, his back toward her.
Chapter 7
LOGAN stepped out of the bus and put the baby into Tish's arms, standing there with a look of utter, naked, helpless love on his face, for the entire world to see. "I named her Melissa Lacey, the one we picked out together back when we were in high school. We've all been calling her Lissa. Isn't she beautiful?"
Tish looked as if she would cry. She stared down at the little upturned face, the little waving hands with soft, perfect fingers, then pushed the baby into Joley's arms and stepped inside the bus.
Logan caught Joley's shoulders for support, leaning heavily on her, looking down at his child. "She doesn't want her, Joley. She can't forgive me for the things I did."
Joley patted his hand, looking up at him. "I love you, Logan, but you're dense. She's crazy about you and desperately wants to believe she can be a family with you and the baby, but she's afraid. Take the baby and go to her, and for God's sake, eat your pride. Tish is the best in the world. They don't come better. If she accepts you back and takes Lissa as her daughter, she'll never look back. You'll never have anything thrown in your face. You don't deserve her, but if you really want her, I don't think it's going to be all that difficult to convince her. You've got Lissa, and who could resist her?" She smiled at the baby, bent her head and kissed the little forehead. "She's so beautiful."
"If Tish doesn't come back to me, Joley, I don't know what I'm going to do. And now she'll think I only wanted her for the baby. I got here about five in the morning, and we've been passing Lissa back and forth since then. No one's complained, but I can't ask them to help me with her, and I sure can't haul her around the country without help. I don't trust anyone but Tish."
"Tish went into the bus, not back toward her car. Rent an RV or something larger for the three of you for the rest of the tour. We can make them comfortable. If we have to, I can bunk with the boys and the three of you can use my bus. We're family. We'll get through this together." She handed him the baby. "Go tell her you love her and that you're an idiot."
"Thanks, Joley." Logan pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"I'm going running." She always went jogging to clear her head. Physical exercise was a form of meditation to her.
"Where's Steve?" Logan asked.
"He drove the bus last night. He's asleep, but no one's around yet and I should be fine. Nikitin's security is already here and I noticed a few uniforms showing up."
Logan cradled his daughter close and nodded, although he still looked worried. "Be careful, Joley, and don't go very far."
She glanced at her watch and then over to where Jerry and Brian had argued with Dean. Apparently the fight had broken up and everyone had found something to do. Dean was stalking across the parking lot toward the crew's bus, and Brian was nowhere in sight. She'd have to ask them later
what Dean had said about the young girl. "I've got about an hour before this place starts filling up. Jerry told me they'd call me for the sound check around two. That sound about right with you?"
Logan nodded and went up the small steps to the bus. "That's when everything should be ready."
Joley waved, mouthed good luck and took off jogging away from the stage area toward the trail leading up into the rocks. Logan was a lucky man. In spite of everything he had done, all the mistakes he'd made, Tish loved him. Even the fiasco with Lucy had turned into something wonderful. Little Lissa would be well loved by Tish and Logan.
In the beginning the band had their lives together, everything had been good. They'd been best friends and had people surrounding them who really loved them. As they'd climbed to success, everything had changed. All of them had been sucked into a life of excess, and they'd all forgotten what really mattered. As the years went by, they'd learned the hard way, and all were trying to find their way back. She hoped Logan and Tish could do it through the baby.
And Denny. She had no idea if Lisa had stuck around to forgive him. Joley hoped so. Love wasn't always forgiving, but at least he'd found it, even if he'd been stupid enough to throw it away.
Her sisters had been lucky. Sarah had found Damon. He was an odd man, brilliant and gruff, but he had embraced Sarah's family and they all had fallen in love with him. Sweet Kate had found Matt Granite, former Army Ranger and now a contractor. He was just what Kate needed. And Abbey was truly in love with her Russian. Aleksandr Volstov.
Love seemed to happen fast to everyone but her. She obsessed over Ilya Prakenskii, but she wasn't in love with him. Just because he took her breath away and set her heart pounding--that was purely physical. Chemistry. They had it in abundance, but she wanted the kind of love her sisters had. Libby and Tyson. Libby was a natural healer, Tyson a renowned researcher for Pharmaceuticals, and he looked after Libby, treating her like a precious treasure. And of course there were Jonas and Hannah. Jonas adored Hannah. It was in every look he gave her, every touch of the hand. Joley wanted that. Not just hot sex--and it would be hot with Ilya--but it wouldn't be love.
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