by Lisa Hobman
Seth wasn’t supposed to be home so Cassie had confidently refused the offer of help from Vina, insisting she would be absolutely fine—and in all honesty not wanting to cause a rift between siblings. With mounting trepidation, she ventured to her former home, armed with flattened cardboard boxes and rolls of tape, in the hope she would be finished and have vacated by the time her ex-fiancé returned.
She unlocked the door and nervously stepped inside, pausing for a deep calming breath before closing the door behind her. A heavy silence hung in the air of what had always been a place buzzing with laughter, opera music and intellectual conversation. But being there at that precise moment was strange and filled her with a bone deep sadness.
She quickly bypassed the room where she had discovered Seth in flagrante delicto with someone she had considered a good person and better friend, making sure not to even glance in its direction. The room wasn’t at fault but the contents therein reminded her of that awful day and she had vowed that whatever belongings remained in there would need to be replaced. She had no intention of collecting anything from that room because she simply didn’t want to relive that gut-wrenching moment when her world collapsed around her ears.
Struggling with her boxes she walked along the corridor that met the open plan living area and momentarily cursed herself for declining the offer of help. The apartment looked even bigger now that she had been away from it for a short while and it had felt huge when she was blissfully unaware of Seth’s infidelity. But now it seemed cavernous and austere and lifeless. She felt totally out of place standing there in her high street jeans and hooded sweater.
‘So this is it then?’ Seth’s voice startled her and she dropped the folded cardboard to the floor as she swung around to see him standing there, hair unkempt, skin pale. He was wearing scratty old lounge pants that she didn’t ever remember seeing before and a stained t-shirt that evidently hadn’t been washed in a very long time. He looked nothing like the Seth Guthrie she had fallen head over heels in love with and for a split second, she felt sorry for him. In fact, the urge to hold him was almost overpowering.
Almost.
But instead she reminded herself of the reason for his suffering and her pity was quickly replaced by disdain. ‘You weren’t supposed to be here.’
He huffed. ‘I had to be here. Someone has to make you see sense. Do you realise how crazy it’s become?’
Pulling herself to her full height she nodded defiantly, determined to show no emotion. ‘You knew it was coming to this, Seth. Don’t pretend it’s a shock.’
He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his unshaven face. ‘I still can’t believe you’re throwing it all away, Cassie. Seriously, it’s ridiculous.’
Anger spiked within her and she clenched her fists at her sides, sticking her nails into the palms of her hands. ‘I’m throwing this away? Don’t you think you had a hand… or other appendages, in it?’ She scoffed. ‘What I can’t believe is that you thought it could go any other way. You slept with one of my closest friends, Seth. I caught you in the act. What else am I supposed to do? Brush it under the carpet and hope we both learn to avoid the giant lump of infidelity sitting in the room?’
He huffed and stepped towards her. ‘In all honesty, yes. That’s what we both need to do. We all make mistakes, Cassandra. All of us. And that’s all it was. One mistake. I don’t love Pippa. It was just lust. Just sex. But I do love you and if you’re honest you still love me too. You’re the one I want to marry, surely that must count for something, hmm?’
She stood there open-mouthed and completely aghast that she had even listened to his pitiful, self-centred, vacuous monologue. ‘Am I supposed to be grateful?’ she shouted. ‘You. Were. Unfaithful. You didn’t buy the wrong toilet paper or break my favourite bloody vase, for Pete’s sake. This is not a mistake I can forgive. And what’s more I don’t want to forgive you for what you’ve done. I deserve so much better. You ruined a perfectly happy relationship simply because you put your dick in my friend, Seth. That’s the problem. I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you. Surely even you’re not so obtuse that you’re somehow not seeing the reality here. We were supposed to be getting married. We were supposed to be in a monogamous relationship. But it turns out only one of us saw things that way.’
He made a noise like a growling angry bear. ‘Jesus, Cassie, it’s not like I bloody killed someone!’
Her voice cracked as she replied, ‘No. You killed something. You killed the love I had for you. And you killed the trust I placed in you.’ Her lip trembled and she jammed her nails harder into her palms trying not to cry in front of the cheating arsehole.
He shook his head and grimaced at her. ‘Always my little drama queen.’
She gasped. ‘You condescending prick. I’m not your anything. Not anymore. And I’m not playing the melodramatic little woman here. I’m hurt beyond repair because my life has just fallen apart around me. This is not acting.’ She took a breath, her heart pounded at her ribs. ‘And I may never trust anyone again thanks to you.’
He stepped closer still. ‘It was just sex,’ he whispered as if doing so would make it less appalling to her. ‘Just a couple of times. Three… four maximum. That’s all.’
She knew it happened more than once but this unwanted news compounded the anger inside of her. She instinctively covered her mouth as bile rose in her gullet.
Shaking her head, she simultaneously backed away from him and gritted her teeth. ‘Oh well that’s good to know. Had it been five or six times things would’ve been so much worse.’ Her voice dripped with sarcasm. ‘Knowing it was four maximum really eases the pain of betrayal. Thank you so much.’ Her calm voice belied the tumult of emotions raging beneath her skin. ‘Look, maybe I should go and come back when you’re actually out. Clearly this isn’t going to work.’ She bent to collect her boxes from the floor.
Seth was not going to give up. ‘Can’t we just talk? Figure out a way through this? We’ve been through tough times before, Cassie and I’m lost without you. Please?’
She straightened again and he was standing only a couple of feet away; much too close for comfort. At this proximity she could see the dark circles around his eyes and the way his greying, matted hair had evidently not been washed for days. He smelled of beer, bad breath and body odour—the complete antithesis of Seth Guthrie a month before.
She halted inhalation through her nose and glared at him. ‘No, Seth. There’s no time for talking now. That should have happened before you had sex with Pippa four times. It should have happened as soon as you realised I wasn’t enough for you. But, sadly, I had to find out the hard way. No pun intended. Let me know when you’ll be out and I’ll come back.’
She tried to pass him but he held up his hands and with a trembling lip he reached out and smoothed his hand down her arm. A shiver of disgust travelled her spine and she watched as tears escaped the corners of his bloodshot eyes.
He forced a sad smile. ‘No, no it’s fine. You’re here now. You may as well get your things. I need this to be over with. I need to… to move on.’
Once again incredulity niggled at Cassie and although she tried not to retort the words flew from her mouth before she could stop them. ‘You need to move on? Didn’t you already do that? You see I’m taking the more traditional path of moving on after my fiancé has shit all over my life. You may want to take a leaf out of my book in future. You seem to have forgotten how these things work.’
He winced. ‘So bitter. It doesn’t suit you. Bitterness I mean. You’re such a nice person usually.’ He gave a snide laugh. ‘I felt sure you’d fall for my injured puppy-dog look. Clearly you’re not the person I thought you were.’
She gasped. ‘You’re trying to tell me your appearance today is fake?’ The bastard! The cruel, conniving, manipulative bastard.
He scoffed. ‘Well it was worth a try. You know I don’t like to lose. It’s a weakness to give in, poppet. And I’m not weak. Haven’t you learned that about
me? I get my way, regardless of how it happens.’
His pet name for her grated on her last nerve and she rolled her eyes as she shoved past him where his large muscular frame almost filled the space between the walls. She knew he was ruthless in the boardroom, but to speak of her as if she was some prize; some business deal he wasn’t prepared to miss out on, was sickening. Had she ever really known him?
Without looking up at him she demanded. ‘Can you just let me get on with packing?’
He stepped aside but as she walked by him he reached out and grabbed her shoulder, squeezing hard to the point of pain and in a strained voice he pleaded, ‘We can make this right, Cassie. Wipe the slate clean and move forwards. Let’s go to bed and I can remind you of how good we were. We can forge ahead with the wedding and no one has to know. But I won’t let you make a fool of me, Cassie. I simply won’t allow it. You will not walk out on me.’
She managed to free herself from his vice-like grip and swung around, her hand connecting with his face in a crack.
Angry tears clouded her vision and her jaw ached from being so tightly clenched. ‘Forge ahead? No one has to know? I know Seth. I know everything. And I am walking out on you. I’m not some commodity. I’m a human being. I deserved your respect but instead you treated me like something you could pick up and drop whenever you saw fit. You may be able to do that in your work life but I certainly won’t let you do that to me. I deserve so much better. And my God, I don’t want you anywhere near me. You disgust me and I am warning you to never touch me again.’ Her heart pounded in her chest and for the first time ever she felt afraid of him.
He sneered and held his hands up as he backed away. ‘Okay, okay. Have it your way for now. But just remember this when you end up regretting your decision. Because you will regret it. Mark my words. And then it’ll be too late.’
A shiver consumed her and she physically juddered. ‘It’s already too late. And I don’t appreciate you threatening me just because for once you’re not getting your own way. I think I’ll leave now. I’ll ask Vina to collect my things. Goodbye, Seth.’
She dashed for the door, leaving her boxes and packing tape behind and prayed he didn’t come after her.
He didn’t follow but he did manage to have the final word. ‘You’ll be back, Cassie! I’ll make sure of it. I never lose. I get my way by whatever means necessary. You’ll do well to remember that!’
His words filled her with an uncomfortable uneasiness but she carried on regardless, determined not to look back.
*
Back in her forced new existence she cut the tape on the final box and flattened it ready to take it out to where the others had been deposited beside the recycling bin. She pulled the fresh early evening air into her lungs and for the first time in weeks a wave of excited anticipation flipped her stomach. The sun had already begun its descent and the sky was an array of reds, oranges and purples. If she closed her eyes she could hear the sea down in the little bay as it meandered towards the beach. Such a peaceful sound. She had always loved the sea and her dad had often joked that she was a pebble in a former life. It became her dad’s nickname for her when she was small and had stuck for many years. Although recently he had resorted to calling her Cassie after Seth had commented that Pebble was a silly name for a grown woman—and poppet was so much better?
She still had the little polished pebble necklace her dad had bought for her when she was twelve and they were on a camping trip to Dhoon Beach in Dumfries and Galloway. She hadn’t worn it for a very long time but she vowed she would do just that as soon as she had her jewellery box set out. Seth had preferred her to wear the little diamond pendant he had bought her but that was now banished to the box along with her engagement ring.
Reminiscing about happier times set her mind in motion and she stepped inside to grab the keys to the cottage. Once the door was locked behind her she set off on the walk to the beach. Before she moved to the village she had calculated it would probably take around fifteen to twenty minutes to walk there from her new home which meant that she would be able to enjoy the view before the sun disappeared completely.
Chapter Fifteen
There was a distinct nip to the coastal air but Cassie was still warm from unpacking so the breeze was a welcome relief. With the sea on her horizon she aimed in its direction which took her down the high street lined with a variety of pretty buildings of all shapes and sizes and then along a country lane to her right. On one side were vivid green fields and on the other a holiday camp from which the smell of barbecue food wafted and made her stomach growl. Eventually she reached the slope which led down to the sand and by the time she reached her destination she was quite out of breath so she found a little spot to sit down. She tucked her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them as she took in the stunning little cove that encompassed her.
There were only a couple of dog walkers off towards the sea and a few surfers making the most of the early evening sunshine, bobbing about on their boards seeing as there wasn’t enough breeze to create strong waves. A man was teaching a child how to balance on a smaller than usual board as a woman stood by watching and cheering him on. It was such a sweet family image and Cassie smiled in spite of her current situation. Seth had been keen to start a family and Cassie had felt she had ages to wait before it became a priority. Yet here she was, newly single and reluctant to even think of starting over, never mind having children. But watching this cute family unit saddened her a little.
A row of colourful, quirky beach huts spread out to her left, each expressing its owner’s individual stamp—and beyond them stood a beautiful modern house built almost entirely out of glass. The view of the sea must be wonderful from up there, she thought as she watched the sunlight glinting on the windows. To the right, there rose a large grassy hill with rock pools skirting its edges where a few people were exploring with nets.
The vista was enough to take her breath away and cause a mixture of emotions to swell up from deep within. Memories of her happy childhood when it was just Cassie, her dad and Bilbo, running around the beach at Dhoon, playing catch or throwing bits of driftwood for Bilbo to chase. They would search the rock pools and try to stop Bilbo from jumping in them as they examined the tiny sea creatures captured by the tide. Then there was the memory of walking along the vast beach at Bamburgh with Seth, the lofty castle creating a dramatic backdrop that was the stuff of historical romance novels. She had so many things to look back on but at that moment she had no clue what lay ahead for her; it was quite a disconcerting fact.
Steeling herself she kicked off her slip-on shoes and scrunched her toes in the soft grains beneath her feet. She inhaled deeply and relished the salty air as it filled her lungs and refreshed her weary senses. It was a far cry from the smog of Glasgow city and it was good to smell something other than exhaust fumes for once. Exhaling a relieved sigh, she gazed towards the small waves as they lurched towards the shore with determination only to crash down and disappear.
The man teaching the boy was now jogging towards where she sat and she realised it was Mac. ‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ The unexpected interruption dragged her from her thoughts and she looked up shielding her eyes from the setting sun.
‘Oh, hi again. Yes, yes it’s very beautiful indeed.’
The young Mr Mackenzie smiled warmly and she briefly tilted her mouth in response but after their earlier encounter she wasn’t in the mood to entertain him.
The wetsuit he wore was now pulled down and his bare chest was glinting with droplets of sea water. She swallowed hard as she trailed her gaze down his toned, muscular physique. Tattoos encircled his arms and she tried not to stare in fascination. She flared her nostrils when she realised she was taking notice of these silly little details about a man she found irritating at best.
He lowered himself to the sand only a short distance away and Cassie huffed the air from her lungs. She wanted to be alone and couldn’t understand—with the entire available beach bef
ore them—why he’d chosen to sit so close.
He cleared his throat. ‘Erm… look Cassandra… I think I owe you an apology.’
She glanced over at him to find his gaze fixed on her. Feigning ignorance she shook her head. ‘For what?’
He cringed and leaned to grab a small round pebble from the sand. ‘I was a bit of a shit earlier when I saw you at the Spar. I’m not usually such an arse. Honestly I’m not. So anyway, I hope you can forgive me and we can maybe start over?’
Cassie was a little taken back by his honesty and the apology, which seemed sincere. She allowed herself to smile. ‘Thank you. And it’s okay. I know I haven’t exactly been a poster girl for happy-go-lucky since I arrived. In fact, I’ve been rather a grumpy cow. It’s… it’s with fairly good reason but you weren’t to know the circumstances. It’s fine though. And for the record, I’m not usually such an arse either.’
He grinned, revealing a row of white but crooked teeth that really suited him. ‘Great. That’s great. I mean… not the part where you said you had good reason to be grumpy… but well, you get my meaning.’
‘I was watching you teach your little boy to surf. He’s got good balance.’
Mac laughed lightly. ‘Oh, he’s not mine. He’s the doctor’s son. I’m just the teacher.’
‘Ah, right. Looks like he loves his lessons.’
‘Oh aye, he’s a lively wee bundle that one. I reckon he was a fish in a former life.’ Mac grinned.
She nodded and smiled before turning her focus back on the sea before them and secretly hoping that he would leave her to her melancholy now.
He didn’t.
‘So, what did happen in Glasgow? And why the heck would you come to the edge of nowhere when you had the whole world at your disposal?’
