Now I know what hell feels like…
They had pulled off the interstate to gas up, grab some fast food, and switch positions. Finn thought she’d possibly give up the singing and definitely give up the dancing. Hell, he even figured they had played the silent game long enough and they’d resume some conversation.
He was wrong, though.
So very, very wrong.
He lost count of how many times he’d shouted for her to put both hands on the steering wheel and stop with the ridiculous dance moves, but with her earbuds in, she hadn’t heard him. Then he reminded her how driving with earbuds in was illegal, so she’d simply plugged her iPod into the car’s USB and let her music play through the sound system.
Loudly.
It would have been pointless to argue that he didn’t enjoy her music and that she was being incredibly inconsiderate and borderline rude because clearly, that was exactly what she was trying to do.
In all his arguments with his brother, neither had ever done anything quite so childish.
Then again, he could argue that in all his arguments with Grace, she hadn’t stolen his car and left him stranded.
Yet.
And dammit, now that thought was in his head. What if she was so pissed off at him that she took off without him tomorrow? The truck was rented in her name and her name only. Why hadn’t he agreed to put his name on the rental agreement when he was asked about it? Groaning, he had to think of a way to make sure she wouldn’t leave him without putting the idea in her head if it wasn’t there already.
She parked the truck and climbed out without a word, and he was relieved that the music finally stopped. Holy crap! How could one person listen to so much dance music? Finn didn’t think people even listened to Britney Spears anymore, but obviously, Grace did!
He climbed out and stalked after her into the lobby. They didn’t make any reservations in advance; they’d just planned on getting into town and finding someplace to stay for the night then.
“Hey!” Grace said cheerily to the guy behind the desk. “I need a room for tonight, please!”
The guy eyed him and then looked back at Grace with a smile. “Just one night?”
“Yup!”
“And…just one room?”
Finn rolled his eyes and could almost guarantee she was batting her eyes at the guy.
“Just one, Mark,” she said sweetly. “Oh, and if you have something far away from an elevator, that would be perfect. I hate the noise.”
Mark smiled back at her. “I’m not sure I can do that. We’ve got a convention here in town and we don’t have a lot of vacancies…”
Finn’s stomach sank. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next.
“But you’ve got the last one!” Mark said happily. “It’s not right next to an elevator, but you’re only three rooms down. I hope that’s okay.”
“It will be fine. Thank you!”
Behind her, Finn fumed. Now what? What the hell was he supposed to do? Then he figured they’d just have to share the room again like last night. Well, obviously not exactly like last night, but…
Grace looked over her shoulder at him. “I think there was another hotel across the street if you want to try over there.”
Hell no…
Mark looked up at the two of them, and Finn forced himself to smile. He stepped in close and wrapped one hand around her arm, speaking low, “Can I speak to you for a minute, Grace?”
She tried to pull away but seemed to think better of making a scene. When they were out of earshot, he did his best to remain calm. “There is no way I’m going across the street or anyplace else tonight,” he hissed. “If there’s only one room, then we’re sharing it.”
Her eyes went wide before narrowing at him. “Oh, really?” she asked sarcastically. “Well, I don’t think so. Not after you were such a colossal jerk today! If you don’t want to go to another hotel, then you can sleep in the truck!”
Oh, it was tempting. If he did, then he could guarantee she couldn’t leave without him, but then…
He’d be sleeping in a truck.
No. Just no.
The only way to get around this was to apologize. He knew it and hoped she’d be gracious enough to do the same.
“Listen, Grace, I think we can both agree things got a little…well…a little out of control. I’m sorry. I snapped at you and that was wrong, okay? The subject of my family is…well…it’s a touchy thing.”
“Pfft…no kidding,” she said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest again.
He had to remind himself that he was trying to make nice right now. “Okay, I get it. I was a jerk, but you have to admit you were just as bad! All that ridiculous dancing and singing and…”
“Oh, so now happy and upbeat music is bad too? Where does it end?” she said dramatically. “Is the sky too blue for you? The sun too bright? Children’s laughter get on your nerves too?”
If she was trying to push his every last button and make his head explode, she was succeeding.
“Miss Mackie?” Mark called out from the desk. Grace looked over at him and then back to Finn.
“You said we needed to go back to normal today. Well, normal means no sharing rooms.”
“No,” he corrected, “normal means not sharing a bed.” And just saying the word while standing this close to her had him wanting to reconsider that too. She seriously drove him crazy, and right now, he’d like nothing more than to take her up to the room, throw her down on the bed, and return the favor.
Mark called her name again and he could see the indecision on her face, but it was brief. “Fine,” she murmured. “Just…try not to be a jerk again.” Walking all of three steps away, she murmured over her shoulder, “If that’s even possible.”
He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and simply follow her to get the room key. “You want to grab the bags now or after dinner?” he asked after a minute.
“I guess now. I know I showered this morning, and these are clean clothes, but the thought of freshening up is pretty damn exciting.” She walked out to the parking lot ahead of him and now all he could think about was Grace in the shower–naked and sudsy and so damn appealing.
It was going to be a long night.
“I’m so full. I can’t walk.”
“Then we’re both screwed because…I’m too full to walk.”
They were sitting in a Mexican restaurant with the remnants of their meal between them, which consisted of way too much chips and salsa.
Followed by queso and guacamole.
“It was like they were never going to end,” Grace said, sitting back in her chair with her hand on her belly. “Every time I thought we were done, they just brought out more.”
“We could have asked them to stop.”
She glared at him. “But they were so good! Why would you want that to stop?”
And her mind immediately went to the gutter, with images of all the things they did the night before and how good they were and how she didn’t want them to stop.
“Because now we’re going to have to live here because we’re too full to leave,” he said, pulling her from her dirty thoughts. “And no doubt the chips and salsa and guac will just keep coming. It’ll be like some sort of delicious yet vicious cycle.”
“I’m glad we’re not going up in a hot air balloon after this. I’d hate to have to hurl all over the city,” she said, chuckling softly. “Oh…it even hurts to laugh.”
“Would you like to see a dessert menu?” their waiter asked, smiling.
“NO!” they said in unison, and the poor guy quickly excused himself.
“You think we scared him?” Finn asked, laughing. “Damn, you’re right. It does hurt to laugh.”
“Told you so.” She was too full and uncomfortable to enjoy the fact that he stuck his tongue out at her. It was nice to see his sense of humor was returning a bit. Although, after they had checked into their room and relaxed a little, she felt like they wer
e back on an even keel. There were two beds in the room–she wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad about that–and they each claimed one and watched some TV before freshening up and heading to get something to eat that wasn’t served in a paper bag.
She understood Finn’s earlier comments about a budget for this trip. Honestly, she didn’t have much of a disposable income either. She made a good living as a career coach, but if she was going to spend money on a getaway, this certainly wasn’t it. Last night’s expenses were easy because she’d won on the slot machine. If she hadn’t, chances were she would have been happy just walking around and seeing everything rather than actually doing everything.
She groaned.
“You okay?”
Nodding, Grace thought it was safer not to bring up all the things they did last night. As it was, she was curious about how it was going to be when they got back to the room. It was one thing to say it would be cool and fine and not at all awkward, but knowing Finn was sleeping only a few feet away, it was going to be a hard temptation to resist.
Really hard.
Across from her, he stretched and slowly stood, groaning with each movement.
Okay, maybe resisting him wouldn’t be so hard. After all, if one Mexican meal could bring him down like this and have him groaning like an old man, how could she possibly find that sexy, right?
He stretched again, and his t-shirt rode up, exposing a thin band of skin across his flat stomach and her thoughts of old men were instantly pushed aside.
There was her dessert. Six feet of yumminess.
“You ready to go?” he asked, once again breaking into her thoughts.
“Sure.” Slowing coming to her feet, she now understood all his groaning. She was sure that he was thinking unsexy thoughts about her too. They paid their tab by the front door and walked slowly back to the hotel. The restaurant was only two blocks away and it seemed silly to drive.
At least, it seemed silly before they ate their weight in tacos.
“Did you want to do some sightseeing?” Finn asked casually as they walked along the sidewalk.
“I know I should say yes because who knows when I’ll ever come back here, but I think I just want to go back to the room, put on my jammies, and sleep this food baby off.”
Beside her, he chuckled. “Food baby?”
She patted her belly. “Yup. I’ve named her Nacho Belle.” They both laughed, and without realizing it, they were holding hands. Grace didn’t pull her hand away and she couldn’t be sure if Finn was aware they were doing it, but she liked it. A lot. “What about you?”
He looked down at his stomach. “I don’t think, as a man, I can claim a food baby.”
Laughing, she shook her head. “No! Although that is really funny. I meant, did you want to go sightseeing?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’ve been here before, and honestly, I’m beat. The thought of just hanging out and watching TV until I fall asleep sounds pretty much perfect right now.”
“I hate to agree, but…I agree.”
“Why hate?”
“Like I said, I’ve never been to Albuquerque before, and even though we can’t ride a hot air balloon, there seemed to be a lot of cool things to do and see.”
“Grace…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. This isn’t a vacation or a pleasure trip. No unlimited budget. Blah, blah, blah. I remember,” she muttered.
“That wasn’t what I was going to say.”
Somehow she doubted that, but for now, she’d humor him. “Really?”
He nodded. “Really.”
“Then what were you going to say?”
“I was going to say we can make it an early night but maybe get up early tomorrow and see some sights. What do you think?”
She thought he was being incredibly sweet, and now she felt bad for mocking him in her head.
And out loud.
She squeezed his hand. “That sounds good. Thanks.” Pausing for a moment, she thought about some of the things she read online earlier. “I should probably do a little more research tonight so we get to see some of the important stuff and don’t waste time.”
He nodded again. “Sure. Sounds like a plan.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence and stayed that way until they were back in their room. Finn asked if she would mind if he showered first, and she was more than willing to let him since she was still painfully full. While he was in there, Grace pulled out her phone and checked in with her mother.
“Grace! Sweetheart, I really wish you would fly home and be done with this,” her mother said, her voice full of concern. “I hate how you’re dealing with this by yourself and driving all alone. It’s not safe!”
Yeah, she hadn’t mentioned Finn and their arrangement to anyone.
“I’m fine, Mom. I promise. I just really need this time to get my head together.” Sighing, she reclined against the pillows on her bed.
“There’s nothing wrong with your head, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, well…you’re supposed to say that. You’re my mother.”
“Yes, well, that’s true, but it’s not the only reason I’m saying it.” She paused. “If you want to know the truth, we’re all a little relieved you didn’t marry Jared.”
She sat straight up at her mother’s words. “What? Why would you even say that? I thought everyone liked Jared!”
“Like is a strong word…”
“Mom…”
“Okay, look. You loved him, and we all…well…we tried to love him too. But Jared wasn’t particularly lovable. And I hate saying this because I don’t want to be accused of bashing him and then you get back together and things get awkward.”
“Believe me, we will not be getting back together. Like ever. You have my guarantee on that.”
“Still, I don’t like to do things like this. You know I rarely speak ill of anyone.”
If Grace knew one thing about her mother, it was that she never liked to criticize anyone, so the fact that she was sharing her feelings like this right now meant she was serious. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because I wasn’t the one who was going to be married to him!” she said with a small laugh. “You’re an excellent judge of character and I figured you saw something in him I didn’t. It’s not as important for your family to love the one you marry as it is for you to love them.”
Sighing, she lay back down. “What if…what if I said I wasn’t sure I was ever really in love with him?”
“I’d say right now you’re lashing out because you’re hurt,” her mother said sympathetically. “And that’s okay. You don’t have to say you never loved him because you think loving someone who betrayed you is a bad thing. Every relationship–even failed ones–are a good thing. They help us grow and figure out what we want and who we are. I’m just sorry it ended the way it did, Grace. I hate that no one was there for you.”
“No one to blame but me for that,” she said quietly.
“Grace,” her mother began sympathetically, “that’s not the way it was.”
She let out a mirthless laugh. “You’re being far too gracious.” Then she paused. “And…you know…it’s not really lashing out, Mom. I’d been having doubts for a while, and I think he knew, and it was why he wanted to rush the wedding.” Another mirthless laugh. “Of course, now I know there were other factors involved too, but still. We’d been growing apart and he was…oh, God, he was just so exhausting! Everything was about him! We never did the things I wanted to do or hung out with the people I wanted to hang out with!”
“Then why did you stay?”
“Honestly? I thought it would get better. I kept thinking if he got the promotion, he’d chill out, and once we got married, it would be one less thing on our plate to stress about.” She groaned. “Some of my friends talked about how stressed they were from planning a wedding, and I figured that added to the whole thing as well. And in the end, look what happened! I can’t believe I let Jared talk me in
to changing everything and I went along with it knowing you and Dad and everyone who mattered to me wouldn’t be there.”
“Well, we were still having a reception…”
“Mom, don’t. It was incredibly selfish of me to do this and…and I feel like I got what I deserved.”
“Oh, sweetie, no! Don’t say that! I looked at it like you and Jared were eloping, but it was planned well in advance,” she said with a laugh. “Trust me, your father and I were a little relieved not to have to pay for a full-blown wedding. Your sister broke the bank on hers and you know we helped both your brothers too. So maybe if we hadn’t been so selfish…”
“Oh, my gosh! Stop!” she cried. “Mom, I love how you always try to see the bright side of things, but sometimes it’s okay to admit that someone did something wrong! I did–I did something wrong! And it was selfish and completely inconsiderate, and I’m sorry. For everything. My whole life, when I envisioned my wedding, you and Dad were always there. Always! I’ve even mocked people who were selfish enough to get married without their families there and look what I went and almost did! I’m so sorry I let Jared talk me into giving up my dream wedding.”
Her mother was quiet for a moment and Grace was pretty sure she heard a small sob. “Never let anyone take away your dreams, baby girl. I’m so sorry you’re hurting and alone, and I promise when you get home, your father and I are going to take care of you and whatever you need, okay?”
“You don’t have to do that, Mom.”
“You’re our baby and it’s what we love to do. Ask any parent and they’ll tell you the same thing.”
“I’m a little old for that sort of thing. I’m a grown woman and I need to be able to take care of myself.”
A soft sigh was the first response she heard. “Let me tell you something, and I want you to remember this because someday you’ll feel the same way too.”
“O-kay…”
“You never stop being a parent, Grace. It doesn’t matter how old you get; you are always going to be my daughter. My little girl. And when you hurt, I hurt. If there is something I can do to comfort you or help you or…or anything, then I’m going to do it. Do you understand?”
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