All of Me? The Trust Me? Trilogy

by K E Osborn

“Jeni, I love you. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”

  “You won’t let me?” I yell. I push his hands off my shoulders.

  Chris comes in from the balcony to assess the situation.

  “See what I mean. You’re drunk and aggressive. I can’t trust you. I love you, I will always love you, but I can’t be with you. Aiden, it’s over!” I walk toward the elevator.

  Chris rushes over to me as Aiden falls to the floor; tears roll down his face, his chin trembles, and the color drains from his face. The sight breaks my heart. He sits on his knees, with his head in his hands, crying for our lost relationship.

  “Jeni, please. We can work this out. I love you so much. Please, please, please,” he continues to beg while we wait for the elevator.

  Chris gives Aiden an understanding nod while he watches his best friend fall apart in front of him. He looks torn as he steps into the elevator with me. Chris puts his arms around me when the doors shut, and I collapse into them. He holds me tightly while I cry into his chest.

  We head back to Sarah’s house. I’m sitting in the car with my legs cradled to my chest, while I rock back and forth. I can’t cry anymore as my tears have run dry. We pull up in the driveway; Chris walks with me into the house. We walk past Sarah, and I see Chris shake his head at her.

  She frowns and comes to my side. “Jeni, are you alright? Is there anything I can get you?”

  I shake my head and curl up on the sofa. It hits me—I’m no longer with Aiden—we’ve officially broken up. I feel numb, emotionless, and weak as I lay on the sofa. Sarah pulls down the blanket and places it over me. I hear her walk into the kitchen with Chris, and I overhear them whispering.

  “What happened?”

  “He was wasted. He blew it.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “She broke it off with him.”

  I hear Sarah sigh. The landline rings and Sarah answers it.

  “Hello? Hey, Aiden, I heard. How are you doing?” she asks, making me tense up when I hear his name. “Yeah, I think she means it. I’m sorry,” she says, and then I hear Chris take the phone from her. He starts to talk to Aiden, but I tune out as a ringing starts in my ears. I’m overwhelmed and certainly not feeling like myself. I take in deep, slow, steadying breaths as I hear Chris hang up the phone.

  “It sounds like he’s a mess,” Sarah says quietly.

  “You’ve no idea.” I hear Chris reply.

  I sit up on the sofa feeling nauseated; the thunder continues its loud crashes as it passes overhead. My stomach churns and my mouth floods with saliva. I race to the bathroom getting there just in time to expel the bile from my mouth. I cough and splutter, my stomach twists and turns making me dry retch. I feel Sarah’s hand on my back, letting me know she’s there, comforting me while I continue to heave into the bowl.

  “Jeni, it’s going to be alright. Let it all out.” She rubs my back ever so gently.

  Eventually my stomach starts to settle. I turn and sit next to the bowl with my head in my hands. Sarah sits opposite me in the small room. She stays with me in the bathroom for the entire night, while I lay in her lap either sleeping, vomiting, or crying.

  It’s morning and I feel Sarah fiddling with my hair. I take in a deep breath and sit up.

  “Morning,” Sarah says looking at me with her brows furrowed. The door of the bathroom creaks open, and Chris comes in to check on us while we sit cramped in the small room.

  “Morning,” I say to them both.

  Chris puts out a hand for us each to take, while helping us up off the cold tile floor.

  “Sorry, Sarah,” I say, feeling guilty for keeping her in here with me for the entire night.

  “It’s okay, that’s what best friends are for.” She walks with me arm in arm to the dining room, where we sit down.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  I feel slightly better than I did last night; at least my stomach isn’t churning. Chris brings us both a cup of coffee and sits with us at the table.

  “Now that you have decided to end things with Aiden, where are you going to work?” Sarah asks seriously.

  I shrug. “I have no idea,” I say.

  The landline rings again. My heart thuds in my chest causing me to sigh as I instantly assume that it’s Aiden calling. Chris gets up to answer it.

  “I told you to call my cell, man,” Chris says sternly. “Woops, sorry. Yes of course, she’s right here. I’ll put her on.” He pulls a funny face and mouths, sorry. “Jeni, it’s your mom.”

  I walk over to the phone and have a conversation with my Mom about how I ended it with Aiden and how I don’t have a job. She kindly offers for me to work with her at her salon while I look for something I’m more suited to. After a few tears and some comforting words from my caring mother I hang up the phone and walk back over, sitting back down at the table with Sarah and Chris.

  “I have a job, working at our moms’ salon,” I say to Sarah who’s displaying a wide grin.

  “Um no offense, but you have no idea about beauty, nails, waxing, hair, makeup, body wraps, or—”

  “Yes, I know, but I can learn, can’t I?” I interject. I sit back down to drink my coffee. “At least I have a semi plan in place to get me back out into the big wide world.” I sigh, holding my mug in my hands.

  “I’m proud of you, Jen Pen.”

  I frown, not knowing why she is proud of me. “What for?”

  “For starting again. It’s hard, but if you’ve made your mind up, then I’m proud of you for getting yourself back out there.”

  “I’m not dating anytime soon, if that’s what you mean? As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ll ever date again.”

  Sarah laughs. “Good God, no. So, not what I meant. I mean getting out of bed and off the sofa. Slowly but surely, Jeni.”

  CHAPTER 2

  I turn over and reach for my cell, unlock the screen and see four missed calls. I frown and delete them. I get up the earliest I have in weeks because I start my new job today. It’s taken almost a month to get to a point where I feel like I can semi-function, but I’m glad I feel together enough to start something new. I get up and get dressed in a pair of black pants and a black frilly top. I walk to the bathroom and check myself in the mirror: my eyes are still a little puffy and there are very dark circles under them, the bruising is practically gone, with only a few minor yellow marks around my left eye. I pull out my make up and start to apply it, covering the yellow bruising and dark circles enough so that no one will notice, which makes me happy.

  I walk to the kitchen where Sarah and Chris are kissing each other. It makes me think of Aiden, and I wonder how he’s doing. He calls every day, and every day I let it go to voicemail. I’m okay, not good, just okay. With the help of Sarah and Chris, and my mom, I’m able to at least semi-function. Sarah and Chris quickly separate when they see me. I fix myself some toast and a cup of coffee while Sarah stares at me tilting her head and raising her eyebrows.

  “Going somewhere today, Jeni?”

  “Yep, to the salon.”

  She smiles a beaming smile that makes her eyes sparkle, then she walks over and hugs me.

  “I’m proud of you for finally getting out of the house. It’ll do you good.”

  Chris walks past me and pats me on the back.

  “Thanks, I think it’s time.” I eat my breakfast and head out to my car. The poor thing struggles when I try to start it. It’s been over a month since I’ve driven her. I turn on the radio and Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares To You” blares out. I instantly think of Aiden. I turn the radio off, because the words ring true and hurt my heart. I know nothing will ever compare to Aiden, he is… was the love of my life. I clear my throat, holding back the tears that threaten to fall. I put my car in reverse and drive into the city, arriving at Mom’s salon. I park on the street behind Mom’s car. It strikes me as odd, as the techno pink and the salsa colored Chevy Sparks sit, one behind the other. I take after my mom; we obviously love bright c
olors. I lock my car and walk into the salon. Mom looks up and gives a small squeal when she sees me.

  “Oh, honey, you’re here. I was beginning to think you were having second thoughts about working for me.”

  “I’m here, and I’m looking forward to a hard day’s work.”

  “Your face is healing fast.” She brings her hand up and lightly touches my cheek.

  “What would you like me to do?” I say, trying to fight off the image in my head of Jason beating me.

  “Let’s start with you answering the phone, taking bookings, sweeping up after the hair dressers, and general tidying up. Does that sound alright with you?”

  “Of course, as long as it keeps me distracted.”

  She takes me over to the front desk.

  “Oh, hi, Jeni!” I hear someone call out. I turn around and see Sarah’s mother. She walks toward me with her arms open wide.

  “Hi, Trish, how are you?”

  “Oh, I’m great. How are you doing? What am I saying? You’re fine, you’re a tough nut aren’t you, sweetie pie? How is that Chris kid? Looking after my girl? Is she doing well? Is he making her happy?” she says, asking too many questions at once. I laugh for the first time in ages.

  “She’s fine. Chris is awesome. They’re going to be one of the lucky ones I think.” I smile on the outside but frown inwardly.

  Mom shows me how to use the booking system on the salon computer. She introduces me to her employees, and everyone seems cheery and nice. I think this will be good for me; they’ll keep me happy and focused. The doors open to the first customers of the day. They come in, and because I’ve been nominated the salon greeter, I greet them and lead them to the appropriate workstation.

  The day is a busy one, and I feel that I’m doing quite well. I’m able to keep up with everyone’s requests, I make them coffee, and do the lunch run. I like helping people; I‘ve always been good at it because it makes me feel good about myself, and I haven’t felt like that for a while. I loved my job at ADF Automotive Repairs and wanted to go back there. The only problem is that they’d employed someone else, but more importantly, I was concerned about the fact that there were too many memories, and of course there was also the Tim factor.

  The final customer leaves, and Mom shuts and locks the door behind her. Once she turns the sign to closed, we both sigh with relief.

  “Great job today, honey. I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Mom, for letting me work for you. I really appreciate it.”

  “Oh, honey, I’d do anything to help you, you know that. But this job is only for now, until you can get back on your feet. You’re far too talented to work here for long. You need to find something in reception or personal assisting. Something you will enjoy doing. In the meantime though, I love having you all to myself.”

  ***

  It’s my fourth day working at the salon, and today, for some reason I wake feeling depressed. I think the excitement of a new job has worn off already, and now I’m back to being miserable.

  I pull my car up behind Mom’s, get out, and make my way to the shop. The salon is on Main Street, and I can see O’Connell Finance in the distance. I sigh and walk into the salon.

  Making my way to the front desk, Mom notices me and frowns. “Is today a bad day, honey?”

  I nod my head, and she hugs me tightly as I try to take control over my depressing state.

  “If it gets too much for you today, let me know, and we’ll go out for coffee.”

  “Will do. Thanks, Mom.” I take in a deep breath and open the front doors to the first customer of the day. I swallow hard at the mention of her name, Bree, but take her to the workstation she’s been assigned. I can tell already this day is going to be hell.

  My mood doesn’t shift as the day progresses. I notice Mom keeps watching me every time a sad song plays over the speakers, but I ignore her and try to keep busy. Then it happens, breaking point, when over the speakers Bon Jovi plays “Thank You For Loving Me”. My heart pounds and I feel faint. Mom gazes at me knowingly; I shake my head and tears well in my eyes. I rush outside onto the street, my breathing becomes erratic, and tears flow constantly down my cheeks. Mom comes outside to comfort me, placing her hand on my back. I turn and hug her tightly. She holds me while I cry into her shoulder. The emotion of being without my soul mate becomes too much to bear.

  “Oh my God,” Mom says quietly. “Jeni, let’s go back inside.” She ushers me towards the door of the salon.

  “What? What’s going on?”

  “Jeni, just go inside. Please.”

  I turn and follow her line of sight down the street. I see Mike’s car pulling up at the restaurant next to the salon. Mike stops the car and steps out to open the back door where Aiden, and a young, very thin, ridiculously pretty brunette steps out next to him. I gasp when I see her.

  “Jeni, go inside.”

  I continue to look at Aiden and the gorgeous, model type who’s accompanying him. He’s cleanly shaven, his hair is disheveled but in that good way, and he looks deliciously gorgeous. He puts his hand on her lower back and walks with her inside the restaurant.

  Mike notices and acknowledges me. Aiden walks into the restaurant with his new girl without noticing me.

  “Didn’t take him long,” I whisper.

  Mike rushes into the restaurant after Aiden.

  “Mom, I have to go.”

  I run inside the salon, grab my bag, and run back out to the street to get into my car. I put my keys in the ignition. I see Mike and Aiden exit quickly from the restaurant and look directly at me. I look down, start my car, and speed off before they can reach me. I pull over on a side street, put my head in my hands, and flop down onto the steering wheel. How could he move on so quickly? He was a mess when I left, and now he seems fine, and I’m a mess? Guess this is what karma feels like. I’m so stupid. Of course he’s going to move on. He is after all, one of the most eligible bachelors in Mornington Vale, and there are lots of willing women out there ready to latch on.

  I eventually stop crying and gather enough strength to make my way back to Sarah’s. I walk in the front door and down the hallway. I hear music playing in the living room but Sarah and Chris are nowhere to be seen. I know where they are immediately. I walk to the bathroom, strip down, and take a shower. I let the warm water cascade over me. I see the image in my head, Aiden with that pretty bitch. I rest my head against the wall and eventually my emotions get the better of me and I slide down the wall into a ball on the shower floor.

  ***

  I have a pounding head and very sore, puffy eyes. I can’t decide if I’m going to work today; I’ll won’t be of any use to my mom in the mood I’m in. My cell beeps, and I check to see who it is. It’s a message from my mom.

  Morning honey, just wondering if you’re coming in today? We could really use a hand if you’re able. I love you so much. xxx

  I instantly feel guilty about wallowing instead of helping Mom out, so I get out of bed. I hit Reply.

  Hi, Mom. Yes of course I’ll be in. I love you too :-)

  I hit Send and make my way to work. I walk slowly into the salon with my head down. Mom rushes over, throwing her arms around me.

  “Hey, honey, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine.” I make my way to the reception desk.

  She smiles, walks over to the door, and turns the open sign.

  I manage to work without incident into the late afternoon, when a customer comes into the salon that I recognize.

  “Jenifer?” she asks, walking toward me.

  “Sandy, how are you?” I give the nurse who helped me a hug.

  “Good thanks. You look much better physically than you did last time I saw you. How are you holding up otherwise?” She holds me at arm’s length, her eyes moving over my body.

  “I’m…” Words fail me.

  “Yeah, you seem like you are still troubled.” I guess that’s because I still have dark bags under my eyes, and even though I do my hair
and makeup to come in to work, I guess I don’t put that much effort into my appearance as I probably should.

  “Do you have an appointment?”

  “No. Actually, I was just walking by and thought I would come in to make one.”

  “I can help you with that.”

  “What time do you finish? We should get coffee, and you can fill me in with what’s been happening in your life.”

  “I’d like that, a lot. I can probably go now. My mom owns the salon. I’m sure she won’t mind if I skip out ten minutes early.”

  “Sounds great.”

  After getting permission from Mom to leave a few minutes early, I gather my things. Sandy and I walk across the street to the café where we sit and order coffee.

  “Tell me, how’s Aiden?”

  I frown and she winces.

  “I sense there’s a story.”

  I take in a deep breath and confide in her once again.

  “Where do I start?”

  “The beginning is usually a good place. I remember you were afraid of Aiden. Did that escalate?”

  “I guess I wasn’t so much scared of him as I was angry. I blame him for what Jason… what Jason did to me.”

  She looks at me, scratching her head and grimacing. “Jeni, how’s it Aiden’s fault?”

  “If he didn’t leave me alone when Jason came for me, then maybe he could’ve saved me from this nightmare.”

  “You feel angry towards him, because he wasn’t there to protect you?”

  I nod my head.

  “Well then, can I ask why he wasn’t in the apartment at the time?”

  I swallow hard. “Because I’d broken a glass and cut my feet. He was out getting bandages for my cuts from his mother’s apartment.”

  “Alright then, so now you’ve said it out loud, can you see how crazy it is that you’re blaming him?”

  I open my eyes wide with shock.

  “To me it sounds like he left the apartment to take care of you. I think that’s all he ever wanted to do, take care of you. He was gone for a moment and something terrible happened in that moment that was out of his control. He loves you, that was painfully obvious to me in the hospital, and I can tell from looking at you that you miss him terribly. So why are you here and not with him?” she asks, making me see the situation differently.