I’d told Nina months ago that I’d come from a place of dirt and metal grass and even compared Tennessee to the wild west. But I was certain as I left the situation behind me I was a magnet for trouble, and even more so a beacon for evil men. I knew after years of being away that men like the two I’d just left behind didn’t exist to most women of the world. I’d stopped at a shady gas station in the middle of nowhere because it wasn’t intimidating to me. It felt like home. It felt like Dyer.
It was just the kick in the ass I needed to remind me of what I was about to face.
Men like Greasy Jack and Cody were exactly the type of people I hated most. Their sense of entitlement to take what didn’t belong to them fueled me past anger. They’d probably never worked for anything a day in their life, and yet they felt they had to right to corner me into giving them whatever they decided to take. It took all my willpower not to turn around and put a life altering hole into each of them.
More dangerous anger brewed as I thought of how Laz had demanded my appearance with a phone call. As if I owed him something.
He’d made his bed and I had nothing to do with it. He’d want my money, some sort of control over me, this I was sure of, and he would use my sister as a bargaining chip. This I was prepared for.
I’d never taken anything that didn’t belong to me but my freedom, and even when I took that I’d felt like I was doing something wrong. My life had never been my own until the day I’d left Dyer and fled into the waiting arms of Ray Tyco.
But he too was a different kind of evil. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, a sinner disguised as a saint.
He too felt like he was entitled to more than what he deserved.
And now with Daniello, I was dealing with the same selfish demon.
Burning road, I raced through the night with more resentment fueling me and keeping me alert. I looked at the dash clock.
Soon.
“It’s been months! Where is the money, Laz?” I stood in the same disgusting motel room staring at stained maroon carpet as he finished his shower. We hadn’t had sex yet, an issue he hadn’t pushed, and I wasn’t comfortable enough with him sexually to confront him while he was naked. He’d been preoccupied, anyway, with his new obsession.
“You have to spend money to make money. Just give me a little more time.” His words were empty, and carried little weight with his tone.
“I think you like it. No, you love it. People crowding around you like you are somebody. You can’t keep doing this, Laz. You’ll get caught and I’ll lose my mind.”
“I won’t,” he snapped, exiting the bathroom naked. I averted my eyes as he stood in front of me, water dripping down his every limb. I felt a stir in that moment. Laz was beautiful and sought after by most of the girls in town. He had grown into a muscular body and a perfectly masculine face. His blue eyes shone bright in contrast to his dark brown hair. I felt him slipping away from me daily as older girls with more voluptuous bodies eyed me with distaste as we made our rounds around town. I knew I needed to stake my claim. I knew eventually he’d want all of me, but I knew I wasn’t ready. He was lying to me constantly and I didn’t want to reward him with the last piece of me.
“Look at me, Red.”
“No, put some clothes on!”
“How about you take yours off?” he whispered, plucking the strap of my sundress.
“Laz,” I said with a shaky voice.
“I love you, and I know you love me. You are just too hardheaded to admit it. I’ve been patient with you, baby, haven’t I?”
“Yes.” He took my hand and led me to the bed. “I’m going to teach you how to touch me, how to suck me.”
Face to cock, I looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Wet your lips,” he said gently, rubbing his fingertips over them. I stared at his hard dick, completely intimidated.
He cupped my face and rubbed his fingers back and forth lovingly across my skin. It felt beautiful, and his touch made me feel even more so. It was like a drug the way he looked at me. I found my resolve crumbling as his eyes pleaded with mine.
“I want you so much,” he whispered as I opened my mouth timidly and took him inside it.
“That’s it, Taylor. You are so fucking beautiful.” He smiled down at me as he gripped my hair, pushing and pulling me as I took more of him inside. “That’s good...ah...that’s perfect.”
Something inside me snapped and I moaned as I worked him harder, clenching his hardness tightly between my lips. Nothing about it felt wrong, and I felt his body tense as I sucked harder, moved my tongue faster.
“Jesus,” he whispered as he gripped me tighter, pulling me to him. “Let go,” he ordered as I jerked my mouth away and he fisted his release on the bed. He lay down and pulled me to him in that disgusting room, and I felt the world fall away as we spent a few minutes in quiet.
“I love that no one else has kissed you, touched you the way I have. I’ll wait as long as it takes for the rest.”
I nodded in thank you as he put me at ease. “I’m fucking up, Taylor. I know I am. It stops now. I only want you.” I nodded as happy tears fell and wrapped myself around him as we listened to the rain fall outside.
“We’ll leave on your birthday.”
I sobbed into his chest in relief as he held me to him. I wanted to tell him in that moment that I loved him. I’d decided to wait until the minute we pulled out of dyer for good, but I never got the chance.
Two weeks before my sixteenth birthday, I found Laz pacing the motel with fury on his face.
“We’ve been robbed. We can’t leave!”
Every bit of hope I’d had fell into a large pool of despair as I watched him carefully. He was using again and heavily. I blanketed the loss of Laz, unable to deal with my shattered heart and played into his game, though I knew he was lying.
I hadn’t taken enough to stifle our trip out of town.
“By who?”
“If I fucking knew that,” he seethed, “I wouldn’t be standing here!”
I played devil’s advocate. “Okay, so who knew where you kept the money?”
“Me,” he snapped as he grabbed his keys off of the table.
“I’m coming with you.”
“The hell you are.” He turned to me with contempt. “Go home, little girl, and do your homework.”
Tears built up quickly but I pushed them down in lieu of lashing out.
“This ‘little girl’ has been by your side for months, selling meth, helping you steal, and watching you wreck yourself. As far as I’m concerned, it was my money, too.” The truth was I was terrified of his retaliation and who it might be directed at. I’d known for the last two weeks that Laz had no plans of leaving Dyer anytime soon. Cedric had told me as much when I had met him to pick up Laz’s last paycheck. They’d had a falling out on the job due to Laz’s lack of appearance and Cedric was done covering for him. I was, too.
It was time to admit the truth to myself. I’d told Cedric I was leaving and he had tried to talk me into waiting on him, but I had already learn not to trust anyone but me.
Meth had brought misery and claimed every single person in my life, and now it was destroying Laz. I couldn’t afford to be selfish and wallow in my despair. I had to do something and fast. I’d called Child Protective Services on my parents twice in the last three months and we had yet to get an initial visit. I wanted Amber out of that house before I left, but I was failing miserably. When I realized Laz wasn’t leaving, I’d watched his every move to find his stash spot. I’d only helped myself to enough to get me far out of Dyer. I’d left the majority of the money.
I was leaving without him.
I’d betrayed him, but he’d lied to me long enough. He was caught in the world I was desperate to escape and I couldn’t save him.
“I’m not going to get in your way. I just want to—”
He began shaking his head before I’d even finished. “It’s too dangerous. Just go home, okay?”
“No, to
hell with that, Laz. I’m coming, deal with it.”
“RED! GODDAMN IT!” He rushed me then lifted his hand as if he was going to strike.
I saw it then, the side Laz had purposefully kept hidden from me. It was a brutal realization and struck harder than his hand ever could have. I took a step back, fearful, but kept his eyes.
“I’m coming, deal with it.”
Furious, he gave me a deathly look I ignored until he pulled out of the motel parking lot.
“You have your piece?” I nodded, unable to miss the agitation in his voice. I’d been carrying my father’s gun with me everywhere for months. I pulled the small gun out of my hoodie and flashed a part of the metal to him.
“When we get there, you don’t say a word. Just let me handle it, okay?”
“Where are we going?”
“To make a deal.”
I sat quietly as he pulled up to an old, abandoned school that desperately needed to be condemned. We made our way through the loosely boarded back door and I looked around us, terrified. There were kids my age, some younger, and adults alike hitting the glass hard and oblivious to those around them. Laz had taken me to a smoke house.
I glanced up at him in question and he warned me with a clenched jaw to remain silent.
“Laz,” I heard a voice call and turned to see a blonde a little bit older than me with vacant eyes walk over to him with a smile. “I’ve been saving myself for you,” she purred, completely ignoring me and running her hand up and down his chest. Her clothes were filthy, and she would have been beautiful if it weren’t for the fact that she was grossly thin and had a veil of meth covering her features.
As if I was an afterthought, she looked over at me. “You don’t mind sharing him, do you? We had one hell of a good time last weekend.”
Cringing with the weight of the blow, I looked to Laz who pushed her away as if she was full of venom.
“Fuck off, Trina. This is not the time.”
“You know where to find me,” she piped happily as she saw the devastation on my face. She’d made her point and accomplished her mission. All the loyalty I had for him died in that moment as I gagged on the realization that everything he’d ever told me was a lie.
I ignored the stabbing pain as I followed him down a long hallway filled with dilapidated an unhinged lockers. It was eerily dark and I could barely see a few feet in front of me. It irked me that Laz cruised around the halls with ease. Obviously, this place was something else he’d been keeping from me. Laz knocked on a door that read Asst. Principal and I waited with bated breath to see who would answer.
We didn’t wait long as the door was ripped open and a menacing guy with a crew cut and a map of tattoos covering every inch of his skin greeted us with contempt.
“Laz,” he said, looking past him to stare at me. “Who is this?”
“This is my girl, Red.”
The guy raised his brows in question. “Long time knowing you, never mentioned a girl.”
“Didn’t need to. Rudy seeing people? I need a word.”
“He’s in a mood today, make it quick.” Laz nodded and walked into the office, shutting the door behind him and leaving me with crew cut. I ignored his open stare as I looked around.
“I’m Jay. You want a hit?” He extended the foil and glass my way and I shook my head. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
Leaning against the office door, I strained to hear anything I could and got nothing. Jay looked me over as I waited patiently for Laz to make his deal.
“You don’t look like the type of girl Laz would get with,” he mused as I crossed my arms over the tits he’d decided to concentrate on.
“I’m not, and I’m not his girl.” The floor was covered in a mix of trash, gravel, and broken glass, which I assumed were used pipes. I couldn’t imagine choosing to spend my time in a place like this. And suddenly I wanted no part of whatever plans Laz had. I wanted out and I wanted out now. Whomever he decided to blame the missing eight-hundred dollars on was entirely on him. He’d have no proof. His actions would be his own. I was leaving and I was doing it soon.
I promised myself then I’d leave on my sixteenth birthday. And then, when I was feeling the most helpless, the most desperate, I remembered the card taped to my dresser. Suddenly, the door opened behind me and I stumbled as Laz’s arms caught me. He gripped me tight, leading me out of the school and to the car.
“Red, about what you heard,” he started to explain as he turned the key. “It’s not true.”
“No, it is true. You fucked her and forgot that you loved me. I wasn’t giving you what you needed so you got it someplace else. And that isn’t why this is over.”
He hit his steering wheel repeatedly in fury before turning to me. I didn’t give two shits about the reason why he had so much anger. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was because he got caught. He took a deep breath and turned to me. “It’s not over. I love you.”
“It is over and it has been. We can’t be who we were anymore. I can’t save you and you sure as hell are in no shape to save me. We both failed.”
“No,” he whispered as he read my expression. He knew it then, that I was the one telling the truth.
“If you think I’m just going to let this go, think again,” he said coldly as he made his way back to the hotel. “It’s always going to be you and me against the world, Red. Always. You need to remember that.”
I stayed quiet, knowing he didn’t even believe his own words anymore.
“Ray Tyco.”
I fumbled with the cord and went completely blank as I contemplated hanging up.
After a bout of silence, he tried again. “Hello?”
“Ray, it’s me, Taylor Ellison, you...gave me your card.” I looked around the motel lobby nervously, knowing Laz was in a sleep coma after being up for several days.
“I remember you, Harvard.”
“You said—”
“I know what I said.”
“I’m ready to leave. I...I need to leave.”
I heard glasses clink and assumed he was in a fancy restaurant surrounded by other wealthy diners as he spoke in a hushed tone.
“I’ll come for you.”
“No,” I pushed out loudly. “Don’t do that. I’ll come to you. I just need to know where I’m going.”
“Tell me something, Taylor. Do you still want Harvard?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation.
“Then that’s where you are going.” Tears slid down my face as I did my best to keep it together. Last night, I had watched my mother tear Amber apart for spilling bleach on our twenty year old carpet. I’d prayed for the first time in my life for her death.
“Taylor?” He was now surrounded by silence as I tried to keep the shakiness out of my voice.
“Please, just tell me where to go.”
Salvation from my situation came at a price I never thought I could afford. Days seemed endless without Laz, who had only attempted to mend fences with me once. It only reaffirmed what I already knew. His new life as the kingpin had taken the place of our life, the one we were supposed to have.
I’d decided the night of my birthday to see him one last time. I was going to wait until the last minute to break it to Amber, who I was sure would never forgive me, but decided against that confrontation altogether. She would cry and beg me to stay, and I couldn’t afford to back out at the last minute for my sanity alone. On the day I left Dyer, I replaced the books in my backpack with clothes and attended one last day of school. I walked the shorter distance from the school to the motel without bothering to look around at the outdated buildings and the bone dry landscape. I waited until nightfall in front of the motel door and was just about to give up and head for Memphis when he pulled up. He shut his car door, stuffing his hands in his pockets as I stood slowly, trying to assess his mood. His face gave nothing away.
“I’m leaving.”
“No you aren’t,” he snapped as he approached the door.
“Laz
, I just came to say goodbye. I got a really prestigious scholarship to this prep school and I’ve taken it.”
It was another lie. Something I was getting entirely too good at. The truth was, I was leaving to run to a man I’d had one conversation with, who promised the same thing Laz had failed to deliver: freedom from Dyer, from my mother, from the hell on earth I’d been living in for the past sixteen years.
Laz dug his nails into my arm and pulled me inside the room.
“You think you can just fucking leave me? You think I’ll let you?”
“You made your decision so I made mine,” I snapped. “You lied to me. We were never in this together. For all I know, you used my feelings for you to get me to help you rob my dad!”
It was if I had slapped him. Hurt in his deep blue eyes, he shook his head in disbelief.
“The only fucking thing I have ever done is protect you and you didn’t need to know everything. It was better that you didn’t.”
“Like the fact that you were selling meth before juvie? That you were slipping my mom a bag so you could take me with you at night?” It was one of the secrets Cedric told me. I worried about that confrontation.
Shock was all I saw as he gawked at me.
“I’m not an idiot, Laz, and you have done far more bad than good when it comes to me, so spare me the righteous ‘it was all for you’ act. The truth is, things changed, you got selfish. And while I’ve been helping you, I’ve been living in the same hell. Maybe you’d forgotten that, maybe you don’t fucking care. Either way, I realized it was up to me.”
“I got robbed. I told you it would take more time,” he said weakly.
“I took your fucking money,” I snapped. “It was the last thing you taught me, look out for number one.”
In two steps, he was in front of me. I heard the slap before I felt it. Face burning, I cried out in pain, palming my cheek as I stood again from being knocked off my feet.
“Fucking bitch, you stole from me?” Time slowed unbearably as I looked for the boy I once loved, once lived for, only to realize he was gone.
Camouflage (Predator and Prey #1) Page 14
