Trickster Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 2)

by Cedar Sanderson

  Margot’s back was to me as she listened attentively to some little matronly type. Her wings, slightly fanned, hid my approach, or I never would have heard. “but a cripple? The poor dear man... no doubt he will retreat from society even more. How do you carry on, my girl?” The tsk, tsk was sharper than a harpy’s claws. “And Belladonna, the lovely thing, to continue on so bravely with such a burden!”

  I interrupted quite rudely. “Margot, take me home.”

  The elderly fairy gasped, and fluttered her wings, trying to look shocked. Margot, who looked like she was about to spit nails, or throw a punch, turned that gesture into a bubble, a solecism she would never hear the end of, and took us home. It was considered polite to walk back through the room, saying goodbyes, and into the lobby before transporting out. I was grateful to my sister’s impetuosity, for once, I didn’t think I had it in me to make that walk again.

  She debubbled us in my living room. I started for the stairs, and not the ones to the upper level and my room. I think she said something, but I wasn’t listening. I just wanted to be alone.

  The Bitter End

  Bella stepped through the front door with a sigh. These long days were wearying, and she would almost be back above, hunting ogres. They at least looked like monsters, rather than mostly-middled-aged fairies. The Council seemed to be satisfied with her accounts of that mission, finally. She wondered if Lom had to deal with this much bureaucracy every mission. It took her a moment to realize Margot was standing in the library.

  “Hello Margot, I wasn’t expecting you this early. Did Lom need to come home?”

  “Yes...” Bella registered the look on the other woman’s face. “But not because he was tired, Bell..” Her wings sagged, and Margot sat on the nearest couch.

  “What happened?” Bella sat next to her, worried.

  “I’m not entirely sure of all of it. I was trapped into talking to Lady Burle, and she was being, Oh! so catty. He heard some of that, but all he did was ask to go home, and then went straight...” she gestured at the stairs, Bella thought.

  “He’s in his room?”

  “No, the inner sanctum. I know better than to try to follow him.” Her bitter-tinged tone made Bella hide a smile. Margot had obviously run afoul of her brother’s warding spells a time or two.

  “He’ll come out when he’s ready.” Bella relaxed and kicked her shoes off. “Oooh. That feels good. Now, tell me what Lady Burle said.”

  Margot looked enviously at the discarded heels.

  “Go ahead, I won’t tell.” Bella urged, tucking her abused feet up under her. It occurred to her in passing that as Queen, she could influence fashion. Low heels were coming back, and it couldn’t be soon enough.

  Margot followed suit with a giggle. “She was sympathizing with, no, at me! about his disability.” Margot altered her voice to a society drawl. “You know, my dear gel, a man with no magic is no man at all. How can poor dear Bella tie herself to a cripple?” She ended with a low growl. “I swear, if Lom hadn’t interrupted me, I would have blacked her eye, lorgnette and all.”

  “Oh... my.” Bella closed her eyes, feeling the blow that would have given her beloved. “And he heard that?”

  “At least some of it. I mean, he’s a man, so I’m sure he’ll shrug it off...”

  Bella opened her eyes, with an extra blink to hold back the tears. “Men can be fragile, too, Margot. Especially when it comes to their ego. They are supposed to be the strong ones, and then when the strength isn’t there any longer,” she shrugged. “I never thought much about it, I was just happy to have him alive, and to have him. I grew up in a world without magic.”

  “I have never been above.” Margot confided.

  “Lom was a hunter of monsters in two worlds. Now, he can’t go above without help, and he can’t even leave the house without assistance. Dammit.”

  Margot looked shocked at Bella’s language. Bella was holding back what she really wanted to say - foul language was severely frowned on in polite society Underhill, she had learned, not that she was prone to using it in public anyway. But there were times it came in handy to express oneself fervently.

  Bella was kicking herself for not having seen this before. Lom’s inability to do magic limited him severely Underhill, where it was a part of daily life, and it left him totally dependent on everyone around him. She knew none of them minded at all - it was a labor of love, but it had to have been driving him crazy already. If he thought he was a burden to her...

  She couldn’t go after him. All the spells on his armory were active, and some fatal. She didn’t dare probe too far to see if she could do with herself what she had done with the guns. Winding up dead on the floor at his feet wouldn’t do either of them any good. She wasn’t sure how he was getting in, except that likely all the spells were tuned to his physical self in some way.

  Bella was fairly certain he wouldn’t end himself in the armory without a word to her. He was an honorable man, as much as he himself scoffed at that. No, she was more worried that he would hole up in there with a bottle and brood himself into unconsciousness. Since he couldn’t leave without magic, she wasn’t worried about his vanishing.

  “Shall we see if there is dinner?” She asked Margot.

  “Oh, no, I need to get back to the Manor.” Margot slipped her shoes back on reluctantly.

  Bella got up, shorter by a half a head than her future sister-in-law in her stocking feet. She gave the other woman a hug. “Don’t worry about him. I will talk to him as soon as he shows his face.”

  “And I will give Lady Burle the cut direct when next I see her.” Margot hissed, incensed at the cruel old woman.

  “We both will. I will see you tomorrow.”

  Margot vanished and Bella stood there alone. The house was very still and quiet, although she could smell dinner. She went into the kitchen after a couple of moments, feeling silly. She wouldn’t be able to hear him, the armory was far enough underground.

  The table was set for two. She wondered where everyone was, and debated not eating. She had no appetite. But maybe he would come back out... Bella sat and played with her food, staring off into the distance and worrying.

  Running Away

  I stared off into the distance, worried that Old Jock wouldn’t show up. It had been a long, chilly hike out here, through half the night. I hadn’t wanted to leave while anyone was awake, not feeling up to a discussion of what my plans were. I’d left a note for Bella on the kitchen table, and headed out with a small pack and determination.

  It was limiting, this having to hike rather than magically hop around. At least I’d be able to get a car, above. I’d gotten to the farm I was seeking just after dawn, and now was sitting on a fence, my feet tucked up on a rail under me, out of the dewy grass. I was wet to the knees. And tired. I still wasn’t at fully healed, more like eighty percent, and that just the physical. This hike had really taken it out of me.

  Jock owed me, big time. And I intended to collect. I’d kept the fairy from losing everything and being turned over to the Hunt, a few years before. Ok, maybe decades. I’d lost track. Smoke spiraled up out of the farmhouse chimney, and my stomach rumbled. Breakfast had been a cold scone munched while walking.

  The door opened, and I started toward the short, round fairy man who was feeding the farm cats. Old Jock looked up and did a double take.

  “Oh, hell, I’m in trouble now.” His big grin took the sting out of his words. He held out a hand to me. “Where have ye been, stranger?”

  “Here and there...” I let the other man genially crush his fingers. It wasn’t that Jock meant anything by it, he was just a strong man who didn’t know his own strength. “I came to ask a favor.”

  Jock narrowed his eyes, looking up at me, who topped him by a full head. “Ayuh, I figured that. Come in for some tea, then talk. You look wet and cold.”

  “I am. Thank you,” It sounded ideal.

  I followed the farmer back into his kitchen, feeling the warmth tingle on my
skin as I peeled off my jacket. Jock pointed at the table and headed to the stove. I heard the sizzle of something hitting a hot pan, and smelled bacon a second later. My stomach growled again. Jock finished breakfast in silence, frying eggs after the bacon and dropping slabs of fresh bread on the plates before sliding one to me.

  “The missus is over to her sister’s, so I’m playing bachelor.” He sat down opposite at the table and tucked into his meal. I followed suit, realizing that Jock wasn’t going to talk until he’d eaten.

  The food and the warmth had me feeling good again by the time Jock put his fork down and looked at me expectantly.

  “So, lad, what can I do for you?”

  “I need passage to above.” I couldn’t do it on my own, and it was asking a lot of Jock, given his past.

  The older man raised a bushy brow. “Reckon you know how much trouble that could bring, but I do owe ye.”

  The trouble Jock had gotten in involved pasturing his sheep both in and out of Underhill, something strictly forbidden, but his father had done it, and his grandfather... I had been sent to put a stop to it, and had convinced the farmer to keep his sheep in and he’d not report back. The Council had heard a tale of wild sheep who used the portal by some unknown means.

  “It will be between us. Should anyone come asking, you haven’t seen me.”

  Jock grunted. “Works for me. Come on, then. Want a lunch?”

  I laughed. “Thanks, but no, I do have some supplies, and if recall, it’s not that long a walk to the town above.”

  “And you can’t go through the door on your own because?” Subtle, Jock wasn’t.

  “No magic at all, these days.” I shrugged. “It was that, or dead.”

  “Ah.” He stepped outside, with me following on his heels. A sleepy farm collie walked up, wagging his tail. Jock gave him an affectionate buffet. “Some dog y’are. Not even a solitary bark when this one showed up.”

  The tan and white beast sat on his haunches and let his tongue loll out in a doggy grin.

  “Aye,” Jock addressed me again. “Better live than dead, but ‘tis a hard thing. You’re going above to live as a human, then?”

  I shook my head. “Not exactly. I have no desire to pass the rest of my years as some circus geek.”

  Humans were not kind to their outliers, and at just over four feet tall, above, I was very much an oddity. No individual would say anything, but I had a feeling finding work and respect in a group setting would not be pleasant. Oh, I’d get it, but it would be the concession to a handicapped person, not as an equal who’d earned it, and that was the only way I’d take anything.

  What I was going after was a safe place to think, and someone I could talk to. I didn’t know if he’d understand, but I couldn’t think who else might, and after the night before, I wasn’t staying Underhill any longer. It had no charms for me. Everything was in place for Elleria to run smoothly, it certainly didn’t need me, the jumped-up Duke with no magic, to administer it.

  I needed the time and space to figure out what I was, now. Not human, nor fairy. Bella wasn’t going to be happy, but she would understand, I was certain. It wasn’t like I had left her without telling her what I was up to.

  Jock opened the door, I thought, from the gesture, and looked back at me. “Can’t see it, can you?”

  I shook my head.

  “Damn, boy.” He was moved. “Can I do anything for ye?”

  “I’ll be all right, Jock, I have resources.” I clapped him on the shoulder and stepped through beside him carefully. On the other side, it was subtly different, the lighting, the grass... the vista of rolling hills with light tree cover was the same. I looked back, and up at him now.

  “See ya.”

  He nodded gravely and stepped backward, vanishing. I was alone.

  Above, Options

  The hike here was different, as I was less worried about being seen. Underhill, anyone would have stopped me and likely bubbled me home out of concern for my state. Here, I could pass as a crazy hiker. ‘I’m from California’ was usually good for a headshake and a mumbled ‘crazy fruits and nuts.’

  As it passed, I didn’t see anyone until I was hiking up the road, and then it was a beat-up pick-up that rumbled by me without stopping. I kept going up the road toward town. I had a cell phone tucked in my bag, but I didn’t know his number, and somehow I guessed that searching for it would yield odd results. Heck, I didn’t even know what name he went by, as a human.

  A rental car and more paperwork than you could lift one-handed later, I was on the road. I wasn’t hurrying. It was good to be utterly alone for a change. I had time and money, no-one was chasing me, and it felt good.

  Three days and two borders later, I was still not hurrying. I hadn’t turned the phone on, and the feeling of being alone was still good. I missed Bella, oddly. We hadn’t had enough time together for her to have become a habit already, and I wondered at myself. Sure, there had been passage of time, but I had been unconscious, mostly. Maybe it was the mostly, she’d imprinted on me like a bird and chick. It was a little unsettling.

  I didn’t have cold feet. I wasn’t running away from her. She was the best thing to come into my life in a long time, and even though I was sure I wasn’t the best thing for her, she thought so, and I couldn’t deny her what she wanted. Bella notwithstanding, I needed to get my feet back under me before I dealt with Court again, and had I stayed Underhill it would have been an ever-present threat to my peace of mind.

  I didn’t know what I would find, so when I pulled into his driveway and didn’t see a vehicle, I turned around to leave again. He stepped out of the trees and I came to a stop. With a slight sense of apprehension, I got out of the car. Our last meeting hadn’t been exactly friendly. At least the weather was warmer this time.

  “Raven.” I greeted him, as he walked toward me.

  “Boy.” He thrust out a hand, and I took it nervously. Last time he’d tricked me into an out of body experience. He closed his eyes for a long moment. “You are not well.”

  I shrugged. “I figure about healed.”

  He shook his head, fixing me with those intense black eyes, framed in wrinkles like old leather. His short-cropped black hair gleamed in the sun, belying his age. “Not yet. But soon.”

  He was playing at being enigmatic. Bella had alluded to this with him, so I cultivated patience and didn’t pursue it.

  “Coffee?” he asked me.

  “Yes, please.” Coffee sounded wonderful. The old man stalked toward the cabin door. Inside, he left the door open on the sunshine, and as my eyes adjusted to the comparatively gloomy interior, he pointed.

  “Pot,” turn slightly. “Coffee, sugar.”

  Somewhat taken aback, I set up the unfamiliar percolator with his standing in the middle of the cabin, arms folded. Once the pot was on to boil, I turned to him. He pointed again.

  “Cups, spoons.”

  I gathered them, and poured the coffee carefully, trying not to slop grounds out of the pot. He pointed at a chair, silently. Obediently, I sat, wondering what the old man was up to with all of this.

  “You came for healing.” He stated flatly, without preamble. “You get it. But you do what I say.”

  I felt a tickle of amusement. “I can do that, Uncle.”

  He snorted and his eyes crinkled a little more shut. I had amused him. “Almost Uncle, OK? But you call me that, fine.”

  He was definitely putting me on, now, I knew he spoke perfect English when he wanted to. I drank coffee, and so did he.

  “Weak coffee,” he commented.

  “I’ll make it stronger next time.” I replied, my tone dry. He just nodded.

  “Tonight, rest. How long you drive?”

  “Three days, from Washington on up. Not too bad with just me.”

  He nodded. “Then I will cook dinner.”

  As I watched he got up and peered into the old-fashioned refrigerator. “Stew?”

  “Sure.” Actually, I wasn’t sure. But the moos
e burger he’d made during my first visit was good.

  “I didn’t make it. Bella’s Aunt Mya sent it to me, she’s a good cook. Too good, I’ll get fat.” Raven patted his middle. He wasn’t skinny, but he wasn’t packing much extra. He laughed at his own joke and put the pan he had pulled out onto the stove and lit a burner.

  “How is my girl?” He rattled around the kitchen. “Bowls, here.” Raven kept up a running commentary, I guessed to familiarize me with where everything was. I paid attention. He was going to expect me to remember this, I knew.

  “Bella is going to become Queen, you know?”

  I wasn’t sure what she had told him. Evidently not that. He stopped dead and turned to look at me. “Queen?”

  “She’s Consort-elect, and the coronation is scheduled for six months from now, about. After our wedding.” I hoped he’d heard about that, because they would never find my body... Raven nodded, unsurprised.

  “Good, that. Queen, though,” he turned back to the stove, thoughtful.

  “She will be a good one. For one thing, she knows jack-all about Court politics.”

  He chuckled, turning with bowls in hand. “She is not politic, no.”

  “We need a shake-up, Underhill. It’s too stagnant, and to wedded to the past, and an idealized one, at that.” I picked up a spoon, and put it down again. The way my bowl was steaming, I wanted to give it a minute.

  He grunted, and ate. After a thought, I followed suit. I had no idea how much he might already know about Underhill, and wasn’t going to underestimate him, but he also might not care. Tonight, I was going to try not to think about it.

  After the meal, he pointed at the sink, and having picked up the cue that he was going to make me do all the chores, I washed bowls. He lit a pipe of something truly foul-smelling and puffed contentedly. After my third sneeze, I broke the silence and asked, “What is that?”

  “Kinnikinnick.” Which didn’t illuminate anything for me. He grinned evilly. “I show you tomorrow.”