Trickster Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 2)

by Cedar Sanderson

  Had she known enough to plan, this is what she would have done, she thought. Step, step, pause. March into a marriage with a powerful man, to keep her role as queen from being subsumed by those who would control her. Step, step, pause. Because she knew, had she entered Underhill alone, friendless, she would have been controlled. Step, step, pause. Was this bloody aisle ever going to end?

  Finally, she felt his warm hands on hers, and she could feel her heart rate accelerate, which was absurd, since this was all a formality. There may have been someone speaking, she wasn’t really sure... Lom lifted the veil and smiled at her, and she remembered to respond in the right places. Weddings, she decided firmly, were not for the bride and groom.

  Dorothy the Pixie

  Neither, she decided some hours later, were receptions. Or at least, this one. It had involved a change of clothes for her, out of the cumbersome wedding gown into a slightly less stiff formal gown, of Lucia’s planning, so not at all what Bella would have chosen. Wistfully, she remembered the look on Lom’s face when he saw her in the Jessica Rabbit dress she’d made.

  She was, she realized, very tired. They had been standing in the reception line for long enough to make her feet ache, and now that they were seated she was expected to get up and dance. Two nights of very little sleep were catching up with her. It ebbed, for a time, as the dancing took her from Lom, to the King, who disappeared afterward, to young Devon. Dancing with the young man reminded her of something.

  “Where is Dorothy?”

  “Oh, she’s here.” He looked around. “I’m not sure...”

  “Well, when you find her, and when they finally let me sit still a moment, I’d like to talk to her.”

  He swung her around and they began the progression down the other side of the room, back to their beginning point.

  “Is this Bella asking, or the Consort-elect?”

  Bella looked hard at him, reading a faint concern on his face. “I mean her no harm, Devon.”

  “Oh, I know.” He reassured her hastily. “But her parents...”

  “Don’t approve of me?” She was curious, and the end of the dance was coming.

  “Don’t approve of Lom. But you... they are, er...”

  “Ambitious.” She finished for him as the measure ended. “Bring her to me, please.”

  He nodded and bowed. Bella turned to see who was next. “Alger!”

  He beamed down at her. “My girl, so glad you have joined our family.”

  She took his outstretched hand and entered into the courtly dance with him, grateful for Lucia’s insistence that she learn the dances gone for more than a century in her world above.

  “I have a rather, hem...” he cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. “Delicate question.”

  Bella felt her cheeks flame up, and was grateful that her skin color wouldn’t show the blush easily. “Alger...”

  They parted for a moment in the dance and when they came back together, he had a funny look on his face.

  “That’s, ah, not what I meant. So sorry. I had a question about the library.”

  “Oh, that’s all right then. What did you want to know? I think I’ve finally got a handle on organization.”

  “Well, I wanted to know how much you can access. I’ve been having problems...”

  His brow was furrowed. Bella wondered what the problems were, but the dance was coming to an end. “Alger, Lom and I are leaving tomorrow morning, but as soon as we get back...”

  “Yes, yes, you two have fun.” His eyes were twinkling again. “But not too much!”

  His belly laugh came as they stepped off the floor, and Bella laughed with him, taking his arm in appreciation as he took her to Lom.

  “I need to sit.” Bella murmured to Lom. “These shoes are killing my feet.”

  “The dresser was more concerned with enhancing your other assets.” He grinned at her, helping her by offering an arm to lean on.

  “I noticed when they put me into this dress.” She wasn’t unhappy with it, she knew perfectly well that he appreciated the view. But it wouldn’t have been her choice, again. “I feel like a dress-up doll.”

  He seated her. “What can I bring you?”

  She looked up at him as he swept her a low bow. “Your wish is my command, m’lady.”

  Bella giggled at him, “Something to drink, please, beloved henchman.”

  Lom disappeared into the melee, and she looked around the room, stationary for the first time in quite a while. It seemed to be a successful event, with the amount of people attending. Of course, this was also the event of.. well, who knew, Underhill. Century might actually not be an exaggeration for once.

  She had only been there a moment, no time for Lom to reappear, when Devon arrived, with Dorothy and a couple Bella assumed were her parents in tow. Bella stood to greet them. They were unusually elderly to be parents of a teenager, but as with so many other things, she was never quite certain of ages, Underhill. Although it would explain their concerns, if she was an only, late, precious offspring.

  “Lady Klomp, Lord Klomp...” Devon did a creditable Court bow, and presented them to Bella. “The Consort-elect Belladonna Tr...” he tripped over his tongue and corrected hastily. “Mulvaney, newly Duchess Elleria.”

  Bella felt her lips twitch at his near-error as she extended her hands to them. “Charmed to meet you, your daughter is a lovely girl.”

  She was using her full Court-trained persona, the mask she put on for Council, hoping that she read them correctly. Staid, set in their ways, but not bad people. Lord Klomp, if she read his eyes right, was not going to be a problem. Lady Klomp, on the other hand, was chilly.

  “Dorothy has very good breeding.” She sniffed.

  Bella smiled slightly. “Yes, she does, and because of that, I would like to ask her to become one of my ladies-in-waiting.”

  The look on the older woman’s face was priceless. On the one hand, Bella could all but see her thinking, it was a prestigious position. On the other hand, it was for this jumped up half-human who had come out of nowhere and who does she think she is?

  Bella went on, deliberately pushing before they had a chance to think it through too much. “As you may know, the Duke and I will making a State visit to the Eastern Court, and I badly need her company for this. I am so sorry to give you so little notice...”

  Lady Klomp opened her mouth, shut it again helplessly. Bella noticed Lord Klomp wasn’t even being consulted. She felt a little badly using her power like this, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Dorothy practically vibrating with excitement. The girl deserved the chance to see more of the world. Lady Klomp nodded, finally, bowing to the inevitable.

  “When will you be leaving?”

  “Tomorrow. Don’t worry about packing, my dear,” Bella turned to Dorothy. “Just bring your notebooks, things you can’t do without. I will provide the wardrobe and necessities.”

  “Dorothy, say thank you.” Her mother urged, and Bella saw the avaricious gleam in Lady Klomp’s eye. It hadn’t occurred to her that Bella would be that generous, the princess thought cynically. She had been elevated in a sentence from upstart to Lady Benefactor.

  “Oh, th-thank you!” Dorothy was practically glowing, and her wings were all aflutter. Bella hugged her.

  “I will see you in the early afternoon, at Duke Mulvaney’s hunting house. We will be departing from there.”

  Bella turned back to Dorothy’s parents. “Thank you so much for lending her to me. Ah..”

  Lom had come up quietly at some point during the conversation, and now he handed a glass to her. Then he inclined his head to the Klomps.

  “My thanks, as well. We will take good care of her.”

  “Um, ah..” Lady Klomp visibly did not want to talk to him. “We must take our leave, then, to give her time to prepare.”

  “Good morrow.” Lom told them sweetly. Bella hid her smile in a sip of the bubbly he had brought her. When they were walking away, she looked up at him.
r />   “First of all, that was...”

  “Snarky?” his lips quirked. “I know they don’t like me, but I’m glad you thought to do that, Princess.”

  “Secondly,” she went on, not encouraging his sense of humor, “What is this?” Bella held up her glass.

  “Apple wine, close to champagne, but sweeter,” he grinned. “I know what you like.”

  “Yes, I do, thank you.” She sipped at it, and he gestured at the table.

  Bella sat with a sigh and he nudged a plate of hors d'oeuvres closer. “You’re mothering me, dear man.”

  “Someone needs to do it. You have been going non-stop since when?”

  “Um, I think it was Wednesday?” Underhill had different names for days, but she was sticking stubbornly to what she knew. She eyed him. Lom was being very calm and self-assured, in this crowd. “You’re in full bodyguard mode, aren’t you?”

  “Well, not fully.” He sat with her. “But you have to admit, this is a good day. I got you, I got to be snotty at the Klomps, and we get to make our escape very soon.”

  She chuckled. “I know how much you hate a crowd, and you’re taking this well.”

  “Pain passes through the body, leaving strength in it’s wake...” He intoned with a stuffy look on his face.

  “I can’t give that the response it deserves. That’s the stuff mushrooms are fed with.” She sipped at her wine and surveyed the crowd. No one was approaching them for a change. “Do you think?”

  “I think we will be excused, with indulgent chuckles, should we make a break for it.” Lom stood and offered her his hand. “Shall we?”

  “Please.” She let him tuck her hand into his elbow and they slowly made their way to the great double-doors, standing open still. Lucia intersected with their path as they started up the shallow steps toward the doors.

  “Leaving?” She reached out and Bella took her hand. Lucia was a little flushed and her wings were shimmering, the happiest Bella had seen her.

  “I am so tired.” Bella told her. “Should we stay longer?”

  “No, no, dear, get your rest. I hear you two are being sent on a diplomatic mission?”

  Bella laughed. “That didn’t take long.”

  “Gossip travels, dear.” Lucia beamed. “I will see you two at lunch tomorrow, then.”

  Bella blinked, and considered. Not waking up for breakfast sounded like a good idea, and Lucia would of course need to be consulted over matters of Elleria... Bella looked at Lom, who nodded.

  “We will see you then, Mother.” He bent and kissed her cheek and then they left the room before bubbling home. Bella took them right to his bedroom.

  Unlaced

  Blinking, she froze, and he went behind her. She heard a slight chink of metal, and then a rippling motion freed her from the compression. She gasped.

  “Hold still.” He growled. Bella panted, realizing that she hadn’t been breathing as well as she could have been. It was a subtle thing, that corseting process. Now, there was another slice, and the gown slid off, and pooled around her feet.

  “Hm.” His lips landed on the base of her neck, and she felt her knees weaken. “I think... yes.”

  She could feel the back of the knife, now, as he cut the last lacing on her undergarments. Cool air touched her skin as he slowly peeled the silk stays away from her, his lips following, until she was standing there naked, quivering.

  He scooped her up in his arms and took her to the bed.

  “Mine.” Was the last coherent thing either of them said.

  Busman’s Honeymoon

  I was not happy at how late our leaving was, but with the addition of not one, but two people to our party, and all the details that had to be attended to, I don’t know why I was thinking it would be like my usual, pick up a pack and go.

  For one thing, this trip had the novelty of an official cover story. Which meant appearances must be kept. That was why Ash was coming along, as my valet, or something. I raised an eyebrow when Bella told us at the lunch table what she had planned, and I wasn’t sure if she had warned Ash, as all he did was nod.

  “You need someone to manage magic for you, my Lord.” Bella told me sweetly, which made me blink in surprise before remembering that we still hadn’t told anyone about my recovery. Also, that she was now using that title as a placeholder for ‘listen up, stupid.’

  “Of course.” I drank coffee. Eastern Court would be a sea of tea, so I was savoring this last cup.

  Finally we were all standing in the front entry. Bella reached out and took my hand, then bubbled the four of us. We popped out into a whole new world. I had told her a bit about it, but she still stared around us in wide-eyed wonder like a child.

  Eastern Court is different. Underhill is plastic, not that it doesn’t obey the laws of physics, but it regards them as more guidelines than strict laws. Magic enables us Faerie to mold and shape our surroundings far more than the world above does.

  And even above, in Japan, there are places far more artificial where humans had spent centuries trying to create this look of utterly perfect naturalness. All of Eastern Court, that I had ever seen, was groomed and manicured to a fine degree. The Court Bella was familiar with adhered more to a laissez affaire approach, formal gardens were few, and my own home was as rustic as anything Underhill, but she didn’t know that. She knew it as home, and that more formal than her cabin as a mansion.

  Now the hand in mine tightened as she took in her surroundings. We were alone, the four of us, in a garden. A winding path led to a pagoda, and I led her toward it. Our hosts would allow us refreshment time, then greet us properly with Tea, if I guessed correctly. Unless Yiu Jao preferred to slip in privately.

  “It’s so perfect.” Bella murmured, as if speaking too loudly would be rude. “Like walking through a painting.”

  “It’s a game they play, to make their world into art.” I hadn’t a use for it, personally. There was an underbelly to Eastern Court, and I was afraid we were going to see it. Behind us, Dorothy and Ash were silent.

  Inside, we found a large room with screens, painted exquisitely to make it seem as though the garden had followed us indoors. Made of rice paper or silk, the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable, as though we were inside a kite. Kimonos were laid out for us, and a note encouraging us to all bathe, eat, and dress for an audience with the Emperor ‘at dusk.’

  Since we had left in the afternoon, and it was now early morning a day later, allowing for the time we had been traveling, we had plenty of time to rest and prepare before that meeting. I sighed. Wearing a dress was not my idea of a good time. On the upside, with all the layers involved, it allowed me to conceal weapons more readily. I had no intention of disarming, emperor or not.

  “Nap, first.” Bella said firmly, looking at the screens and pulling one out enough to form a nook, then unrolling the sleeping mats. She showed Dorothy how to arrange hers, and I was reminded that my bride had spent time in Japan as a student. I wasn’t going to argue with her. I had subtly been helping her with the transportation spell, feeding her energy, and the nap sounded awfully good. We curled up together, not speaking by mutual agreement, with the thin walls, and slept soundly until her phone alarm beeped. Some exploration led to the discovery of the bath room, not the same thing as the Western word meant, with a large wooden tub dominating it.

  “Are we supposed to use that all at once?” Dorothy eyed it nervously.

  “Yes, but we’ll let you ladies go first,” I reassured her. Bella wouldn’t be any happier about Dorothy and Ash joining her in bathing, either. I wasn’t sure she would bathe with Dorothy, but we could hear them giggling a few minutes after we beat a male retreat.

  “Situation, sir?” Ash asked. I eyed him. We hadn’t had a chance to talk yet.

  “You are suicidal, you know that? Volunteering on a moment’s notice for who knows what?”

  He grinned. “I know you. First, it is going to be interesting. Second, you’d never risk her.” He jerked a thumb in the dire
ction of the unseen women.

  “Good point. So, we have two objectives, probably not conflicting. I don’t know enough about either one to tell you anything other than keep your eyes open.”

  He shook his head. “What did I say, interesting? Insane, I meant.”

  I chuckled. He was right.

  “What about your tree?” I asked. “I don’t know how long...”

  Ash fingered the leaf in his hair. “I have some time, I was there yesterday.”

  “Good enough.” I was spoiled, I decided. Too many years of not having anyone but me to worry about, and that not much. Life had been turned on its ear.

  Bella, scrubbed rosy and draped in embroidered silk, distracted me. “I’m hoping I have this on right.” She was taking tiny steps and concentrating. “I was thinking this would be better than the corsets, but...”

  “Layers, and platform shoes.” I filled in for her. “Let me see.”

  I was hoping she wouldn’t ask how I knew a kimono’s layers for a female should go. She didn’t, and she was close to correct, anyway. Dorothy was dressed more simply, and her shoes, she lifted a foot to show us, were flats. Someone who knew more about us than I was comfortable with had been preparing.

  Bella’s kimono was embroidered with a huge dragon, black silk on a gold background, with smaller animals cavorting around it. Dorothy’s kimono was painted, a work of art on its own, with flowers. I wasn’t sure which ones, but knew they had symbolic significance. Bella’s dragon most likely referred to power, as she was Consort-elect to our Court.

  I left them to admire the artwork and climbed into the bath. It was hot enough to sting at first, and then as I adjusted, to relax me utterly. Ash, on the other side of the pool, sighed. “This is nice. We should install one in the Manor.”

  “Mother would be shocked.” Our home court might be more relaxed in mores that above, but group bathing wasn’t done. “But at my place, yeah. I think I will, if Bella wants.”