by Renee George
She barked, her yips high and delighted as they neared the clowder.
“What is that monster doing in here?” John the tabby shouted. “I demand an explanation.”
“The only monsters in this room are sitting in cold metal chairs,” I snapped. “One of you took Tisiphone and Lupitia, and I’m going to suss you out now. Tonight.” I shook my fist at the group. “And then I’m going to make you pay.”
Balderdash laughed. “You and what army, Ms. Kinsey? Have you forgotten you are one of the forsaken right now. Do you really think you can demand anything from us?”
“What do you mean when you say one of us took the fugitive familiars?” Devi asked. “This is simply not true.”
I looked at Lily.
“She’s telling the truth. She believes what she’s saying.”
I held up my hands. I addressed the guilty directly. They would know who they were. “Two down, five to go. And when I find you, you familiar-napping, witch-killing bastards, you better believe that it won’t just be me you’ll be facing.”
Deva’s witch blanched.
“Is it you?” I pointed at the male Bombay cat. “Speak.”
“You are out of your mind,” he said. “I thought we were here so you could turn over Tisiphone.”
Lily nodded. “Truth.”
“Three down,” I told them, addressing John, Jane, Balderdash, and Queenie. “And when I find you, I’m going to let Smooshie here eat you.”
Smooshie, upon hearing her name, gave a playful growl and bark that sounded menacing as hell. The effect it had on the remaining familiars was brilliant.
“I’m not going to sit here and be interrogated by a worthless human,” Jane said. “Larry, it’s time for us to go.”
Her warlock stood up, cradling the female tabby in his arms.
“That’s her,” Patrick said. “That’s the voice I heard. The one that murdered the witch and planned Tizzy’s abduction.”
“I did no such thing,” Jane denied.
“Liar,” Lily pointed. “What have you done with Tizzy?” Lily’s eyes flashed yellow-green as her cougar surfaced. She made a noise of anger that sent shivers over my skin. Smooshie started barking in earnest now, trying to jump at Jane and Larry.
“This isn’t true,” John said. “It can’t be. Tell them, sister.”
“You never did have any vision for the future,” Jane said. “Such a disappointment.” She turned her head to look at Larry. “Grab her.”
Larry reached out and snatched my wrist. Suddenly, everything seemed to travel in slow motion. Ford furred out, my dad, Robert Pierce, and Tanya began chanting, Mary Lowe was already on four legs, a large deadly cougar ready to pounce. Smooshie tore at Larry’s leg, and then just as suddenly, I was somewhere else.
Larry shoved me to the ground, the cold concrete cut into the palm of my hands.
“Haze!” Tizzy shouted. She was in a small cage laced with rune stones and wards. In another cage, Lupitia lay still and quiet. I prayed to the Goddess she wasn’t dead.
“Is she?”
Tizzy shook her head. “She’s hurt, but alive.” I could hear the pain in Tiz’s voice.
“What do you want with them?” I seethed with anger, the rage making me strong. “How do you think you can possibly get away with this?”
“I hoped to do it with as little fuss as possible. You were supposed to turn over Tisiphone and Lupitia, take Lonnie as your new familiar, we’d come back in a month and kill you, and take Lonnie back.”
I got up and dusted may hands on my sweatpants. “Lonnie? What does that hairless mongrel have to do with any of this?”
“Lonnie,” Jane said a touch too dramatically, “is my lover.”
I threw up a little in my mouth. “Yuck. He looks like a fully formed embryo.”
“Shut up, you insolent woman,” Lonnie said as he came out from behind a box in the corner of the concrete dungeon we were in.
“Where are we?” If felt like a cellar or a basement. Cold and damp. No windows. All gray concrete.
“Hazel, they killed Lonnie’s witch, trying to copy what happened between Lupitia and me. They want to get the same power boost.”
“Uh oh,” Larry said. “Spoiler alert.” He kicked Tizzy cage. “Shut up, rat, or I’ll shut you up permanently.”
“Just tell us how you three did it,” Jane said. “If you do, I’ll let you go.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You’re right. No, I won’t. But I might let you live.”
There was a stack of boxes in the corner of the room, some simple tools, screwdrivers, a small hammer, pliers, and such, hanging on a hook and peg board. One of the boxes read, Personal Effects: Roberta Mendell.
“The other suicide,” I said. The one Baba Yaga had told me about. Lonnie had belonged to Roberta. “Traitor.” I pointed at the wrinkled monster with the big ears. “How could you let them kill your witch, Lonnie?”
“She deserted me,” he said. “So, I made my own family. After a while, I didn’t need or want her anymore. I want to belong to Jane and Larry. Tell us how you did it.”
“Very clever, Kinsey,” Jane said. “You are smarter than you look. Of course, you don’t look very bright, so you’re far from a genius.”
Crap, if we were at Roberta Mendell’s place, it meant we were in San Francisco. How in the world was I going to get rescued in California?
Larry smiled. “I guess you’ve figured out you’re no longer in Paradise Falls. There is no one here to help you. And without mine and Jane’s help, you can never be restored as a witch. That means, you will die alone down here, and no one will ever find you. Not even to bury your bones.”
“If you hurt, Hazel, I swear I’ll pulverize your nuts, Larry. You’ll be singing soprano. Until I explode your head, of course.”
“Shut up, Tisiphone,” Jane said. “You are in no position to make demands.” The tabby stretched her tail up high. “I, on the other hand, have all the leverage. You will tell me what I want to know, or I will kill your ex-witch.”
“Don’t!” Tizzy screamed.
While Jane and Tizzy exchanged threats, I inched my way toward the wall of boxes.
“I’ve had enough of your mouth,” Jane said. “Larry, show her the virtue of silence.”
Larry’s hand shot into the cage, and he grabbed Tizzy by the throat.
“Hey!” I shouted. Jane, Larry, and Lonnie all focused their attention on. The seemed surprised to see me standing next to the wall of tools. “No one grabs my squirrel.” I gripped the screwdriver in my hand. “No one.”
Larry’s mouth dropped open, and he began to laugh. Jane and Lonnie joined in. “Stupid Hazel. Do you really think you can attack me before I stop you? I have the power here. The magic. Not you.” He winked. “I bet you wish you had your gun about now.”
I smirked and shook my head. “You’re the idiot if you think the only thing they taught me at Quantico was how to shoot a gun.” My shoulder felt a little stiff, but I didn’t hesitate. I flipped the screwdriver around to the metal point and fired it at Larry. The Phillip’s head pierced his eyeball all the way to the hilt.
He reached up, disbelief in his eye that didn’t have a screwdriver in it. “I…I…I…”
“You die,” I said helpfully. “That’s what you do.”
He toppled over.
“Larry!” Jane screeched. “You’ve ruined everything. Everything!”
I picked her and Lonnie up by the scruffs of their necks. “Without Larry, you guys have no magic. You see, that’s a witch thing.”
“I can’t feel him,” Jane cried. “He’s gone. He’s gone.”
Lonnie struggled under my grip. “This was all Jane’s idea. They coerced me, her and Larry.”
“How can you betray me, Lonnie? I thought you loved me.”
“I never loved you,” he said. “I wanted the power same as you.”
With Larry gone, the wards on Tizzy’s prison broke. She blinked herself out of her cage
and into Lupitia’s. I heard her say, “It’s okay. I’m here, Lulu. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.”
Luputia placed a paw on Tizzy’s face. “You saved me, my love,” she told Tiz.
Technically, I’d saved the both of them, and without any magic, I might add, but I wasn’t going to ruin their moment. I held up Jane and Lonnie and pointed them in Tiz’s direction. “You know why you couldn’t make it work? There it is, plain as the nose on your face. Those two weren’t trying to be more powerful. They were just trying to stay together.” In other words, love. Real and true. That had been the key. The one thing Jane and Lonnie never possessed.
I lifted the lid off of Tiz’s cage and dropped the two of them in. “You can think about that until they send you to the between.”
I patted down Larry’s corpse until I found his cell phone. I could only remember my own number. Technology made using contacts way to convenient, so I dialed myself, and hoped that someone had grabbed my purse from the coalition.
“Hello,” Ford said. “Who is this?”
“It’s me,” I said.
“Where are you?” His voice was strained. “I’ve been tearing Paradise Falls apart trying to find you.”
“I’m in San Francisco. Can you send my dad for me?”
Chapter Twelve
THE HFC APOLOGIZED for not being able to make me a witch again. I knew what would happen if I killed Larry, but it was worth it. That jerk put his hands on my Tiz. No one did that. Ever. The clowder ruled again on Tizzy’s case, once they had all the information about Jane, and in a five to one vote, the one being Queenie—what a jerk—they allowed Tiz to remain my familiar. Of course, they didn’t allow Lupitia to remain hers. Instead, they compromised with us. They broke the familiar bond between them, and my dad agreed to be Lupitia’s warlock. That way Tizzy and Lupitia would never have to part. It also meant, no more witch magic for my squirrel. She didn’t seem to mind one bit.
It was a happy ending for all. Except me.
My hands hurt where they’d scraped on the concrete, and the scratches weren’t healing. This drove home the fact that I was human. Mortal. And in the human world, I was moving into middle age. I couldn’t force Ford into a life where he would have to watch me shrivel up and die. Besides, without the mate scent, I’d never give him children. I know how much he wanted that in his life.
I sat in one of the folding metal chairs after the remaining HFC left. Ford sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m glad you’re safe, babe. You had me worried.”
“I’m afraid I’ll always make you worry. I don’t want to watch you watch me die. You deserve better than one or two decades with someone. You deserve a lifetime.”
“A lifetime without you is worse than death,” he told me. “I am marrying you, Hazel Kinsey. The Goddess herself couldn’t stop me.”
“It’s against Shifter law to marry a human,” I said.
“I’ve had enough rules, regulations, and rituals. I didn’t just spend a month going through the Ursula Trials to not mate with you.”
“The what?”
“It’s a bear Shifters rite of passage,” Ford said. “It tough and completely unnecessary, but I did it, because I want my entire clan to know that I’m devoted to you. I want them to take you seriously when you become the Arcturus’s queen. You are my woman, Haze Kinsey. Witch or no witch.”
“Is that how your phone fell in the lake?”
“Unfortunately.”
Ford’s dad walked over to us. “You’re not alpha, yet, son,” Bryant said. “But I’m proud of you. You faced the trials with bravery and sheer will, and you endured. I bless the union between you and Hazel.” He touched his forehead to Ford’s. “I better get home. Your mom won’t hold supper all night.”
My dad and Tanya came over next. Tanya said, “Do you want me to heal your scratches while I’m here?”
Her voice held a pity that made me cringe, but I nodded my head. Relief was relief. She put her hands on my shoulders again, mouthed her spell, and my minor wounds and new bruises healed.
“Thanks,” I told her.
“I’d better get Lily and Smooshie back to Missouri,” my dad said. “See you tomorrow, sweetheart.”
I stood up and hugged him. “Thanks for sticking by me.”
“There wasn’t any other place I’d rather be.”
Lily hugged my neck. “I’ll be back for the wedding.” She patted her loveable pittie on the head. “Both of us.”
Tizzy and Lupitia were curled up on one of the cushioned coalition chairs.
“At least we got Tiz back,” I said.
“Damn straight,” Lily replied.
“Is this the line for the buffet?” a woman behind me asked. Everyone in the room shot to attention.
Standing in all her golden glory was Baba Yaga. She had on a black mini-dress with a wide red belt, black fishnet stocking, and red pumps. Her voluminous blonde locks were accented with a red lace bow. She wore the largest tackiest hoop earrings and enough bangles to cover her forearms.
“Carol,” my dad said. “This is an unexpected surprise.”
“Isn’t it, though.” She walked around the chairs and leaned against he altar. “I hear you solved your familiar problem, Haze. And you also solved a problem for me. You identified and dealt with Roberta Mendell’s killers. For that, I cancel the favor you owe me. We’re even.”
“Great.” I liked being even. Even was way better than owing.
“I must say, though, I like it better when I have a favor banked.” She breathed in deeply and chanted something that sounded like Latin.
The air around me grew thick and heavy. My head flung back as my lungs, of their own accord, expanded to inhale the electric magic. After, I gasped. “What was that?”
“I favor for a favor, my little witch.”
I rubbed my fingertips together, feeling the spark of witchcraft under my skin. I grabbed a handful of my hair and looked at it. “No gray!” I danced up to my feet. My knees didn’t give me tiny bit of trouble. And…I glanced down at my boobies. They were perky again. Yay! And I felt my bond with Tizzy once more. Even better. “But how? I thought you said you couldn’t give me back my magic.”
“No, I said I wouldn’t interfere with the HFC. They are gone now and would have restored you if they could, so no interference on my part.”
“But they said it would take all seven of them to reverse their curse.”
She took on a scary omnipotent voice, and boomed the words, “I am Baba Yaga, creator and queen, my power is all!”
“Really?”
“No, not really,” she said in a normal voice. “But that was fun, huh? Seriously, though, I am pretty bad ass.” With that final comment, she was out.
“That woman gives me the willies,” Ford said.
“Yeah,” I told him. “And now I owe her a favor again.” I tried to sound unhappy about it, but I couldn’t stop smiling. “You smell like fresh baked cinnamon crème cake,” I whispered, his aromatic scent overwhelming my senses in the best possible way.
“And you smell like rum and cream soda.” He nuzzled my neck and sighed happily.
I kissed his ear. “Take me home and bone me, baby. Let’s bump uglies until my familiar learns to knock.”
“Ewwww!” said just about everyone in the room.
I grinned. “Bite me. All of you.” And with a snap of my fingers, I blinked Ford and I out of the coalition room and into…
Damn it! Wrong bathroom. I really needed to get better with my translocation spells.
Ford, who hadn’t noticed, kissed me hotly. After, he looked around, his expression ranging from confused to mortified. “Haze,” he said. “How come we’re in my dad’s shower again?”
The End
Keep up with Hazel and the Witchin’ Impossible Gang!
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About the Author
Renee George is a USA Today Bestselling author of cozy mysteries, paranormal romance, erotic romance, contemporary romance, and romantic comedies that highlight varying themes. She lives in the Midwest with her husband, man-child son, two sweet dogs, and a senile cat.
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