by Erin Grace
Yes. That’s what he’d do.
As soon as Lady Stanton returned from visiting Lydia, he would take Lily away and set her up in London. Naturally, he would be very discreet until he’d been married a reasonable time. Or, at least until Cecily revealed her condition to society.
Satisfied with his resolution, he stood, swallowed the remains of his brandy and decided to head up to bed.
He could enjoy Lily without the emotional commitment he couldn’t give, and she would be content.
Yes. An ideal solution.
Idiot. That’s what she was.
How could she have kissed him like that? In fact, how could she have kissed him at all!
Dressed in her thin muslin nightgown, Lily sat up in bed, twisting her fingers together desperately seeking a solution to her latest debacle. Though, even in her books, she had gone and outdone herself this time.
She pulled the covers up around her neck and shivered. Heavens, it was cold. But, all she could think about was Henrietta finding out and evicting her mother and sister from the house because of her disgrace. Being poor was one thing, but being poor and ruined, was quite another.
She wouldn’t even be surprised if Mr Dunford decided he no longer desired to marry her. Though, perhaps that would be a blessing in disguise.
Her only hope was the captain might choose not to say anything. After all, he was a gentleman. Or, maybe he considered her kiss unimportant and not worth remembering. Her chest suddenly ached at the thought.
A loud snore erupted from the bundle of blankets piled up against her, and she smiled.
Stephaney.
At least someone was getting some sleep. Though Lord knows for how long. She stared at the small stub of the tallow candle as it began to burn low, estimating she may only have about an hour of candlelight remaining. Henrietta, of course, despised her need of one extra candle a week, but she refused to leave her sister to sleep in darkness.
For despite the deep slumber in which Stephaney appeared to be in, she could awaken at any moment with terrible nightmares, each one more violent than the last. The poor girl had endured them since their father’s death.
And, nothing she or Mama did seemed to make any difference.
In fact, it may be her imagination, but as they steadily got closer to Christmas, the frequency of her sister’s nightmares seemed to increase. Many nights she’d held her tight after an episode, soothing her with soft words and familiar lullabies until the dawn sky began to glow outside the old attic window next to her bed.
She tilted her head forward, burying her nose in the blanket.
And although conditions in the attic were cramped and cold, they’d managed to split the area into two small spaces, separated by a thin wooden wall. They may have lost everything when Papa died, but she had insisted her mama still have at least a little privacy.
Stephaney groaned and rolled over.
She patted her sister’s back and tried once more to concentrate on her predicament. Yet, every time she imagined his face, all she wanted to do was relive that kiss. She raised her fingers to her mouth, gently brushed her lips and closed her eyes.
Now, who was being foolish again?
Their touch had been so brief, she supposed it couldn’t even be considered a real kiss. Not that she had many examples to compare it to. Her vast experience was narrowed down to a stolen peck here and there at various assemblies she’d attended in her first few seasons. But the awkward, slobbering attempts from equally awkward young men had held little appeal.
She opened her eyes, bit her bottom lip and sighed.
Oh well. Brief it may have been and, shocking as the notion was, even to her, she wouldn’t mind trying it again.
‘Papa, no! Please don’t go! It’s Christmas. Don’t leave me.’ An elbow struck her in the ribs, as Stephaney became frantic, kicking the blankets from her body. The poor dear. The nightmares had started again.
Dodging a fist and other thrashing limbs, she grabbed her sister before she could tumble out of the bed, pulled her close and whispered in her ear. ‘Hush now. Everything will be all right. No one is going to leave you, I promise.’
Chapter 9
Eyes ablaze with anger, Stephaney stood by the back kitchen door, her fists clenched tight by her side.
‘You horrible, horrible old witch! You can’t make my sister go!’ Lily’s heart shattered as her sister vehemently defied her aunt’s demands to be silent.
‘Please, Stephaney, calm down. Everything will be all right. It’s only for a short time, I promise.’
Her sibling shot her an accusing glare. ‘You promised to never leave me!’
Tears welled in her eyes. ‘But, this is different. I will only be a short distance away at the manor. I will visit you often.’
‘No. Once you are gone, you will never come back.’ Stephaney took a step toward Henrietta, causing her aunt to take a step back. Never before had she seen her aunt openly afraid of someone, let alone a child. ‘This is all your fault. You never wanted us here. And now you are doing whatever you can to get rid of us.’
Henrietta paled then glared at her. ‘Lily, I demand you do something about your sister immediately, or I will!’
She rushed over and tried to embrace her sibling, but Stephaney wouldn’t have it. She pushed away from her and fled out the doorway. Dropping to her knees, Lily let her tears flow freely. Never more had she felt so helpless, so angry.
‘Let the uncivil brat go. Foolish girl. It’s high time your sister faced reality.’
Gritting her teeth, she slowly got to her feet and faced Henrietta, who had by now regained her haughty composure.
‘How can you be so cruel? She is only a child. I had wanted to wait until Mama returned from the markets before telling her the news. But you couldn’t wait, could you? You knew full well this would upset her. She has never healed from Papa’s death. He meant the world to her.’
‘Yes, Yes. But, he is gone. Is that not so? No point in babying the girl. She must accept her loss and be done with it.’
Her tears evaporated at the woman’s callous words. Never again would she allow Henrietta see her cry. ‘I don’t understand you. I will never understand you. For a woman who claims to be all about charity and compassion, you are nothing but cold and unfeeling. You have no heart and I doubt if you even have a soul. You are to be pitied, madam.’
Her aunt’s face darkened as she met her gaze and held it.
‘Your pity? How misguided you are, spoiled brat. I have tolerated you and your ungrateful family for too long, you may consider your portion of my charitable nature well used up.’ Henrietta turned leave but paused. ‘From this moment on, ours is strictly a business arrangement, and I will expect your share of the board on time. If not, terrible things can happen, nasty accidents, which never could have been foreseen. Do you understand me?
She shuddered with a mixture of fear and heated loathing. ‘If you dare do anything to hurt my family…’
‘Why, Lily. I am shocked by your accusation.’ Her aunt slid her a sly smile that chilled her to the core. ‘Do shut the back door as you leave, won’t you, dear? We will see you in a week.’
This was going to be the longest week of her life.
Carrying only one bag of belongings, Lily headed along the laneway, kicking a rock along ahead of her. The captain had sent a carriage especially for her, but never more had she felt like walking.
She would never forget the horror on Henrietta’s face when she requested the driver return to Etford Park without her. It was most definitely worth the subsequent tongue-lashing.
But the look of utter devastation on Stephaney’s face would scar her heart forever.
Her eyes misted over at the memory of her sister’s fury, but she held back the tears. Inside she knew it was her sibling’s fear of being alone that caused the violent outburst. The poor girl was terrified.
Guilt saw her kick the rock harder. Torn between helping her mother, pleasing Henrietta, soothin
g Stephaney…blast it all, her head began to ache with the weight of so many demands. Short of splitting herself into several pieces there was nothing she could do but try to make the best of things and hope one day her sister would understand.
‘Lily, slow down! Wait for me.’ With a gloved hand holding onto her velvet bonnet, Annabelle came hurrying toward her and immediately she suspected something was amiss.
Annabelle never ran for anything.
‘Hello, Annabelle.’ She forced a weak smile and ignored the cold dampness seeping into her boots. The soles had long since worn through in places, and despite her efforts to cover the holes with thick paper, the winter weather made it impossible for her feet to remain dry. ‘I’m sorry, dear. But I’m afraid I’m not very good company at present.’
‘Mama mentioned you are going to Etford Park. Is it true?
She nodded and lifted her case as proof. ‘Yes. As, of all things, a lady’s maid.’
‘A maid? Good heavens. You loathe making your own bed.’
She tilted her head and frowned. ‘Thank you for your confidence, Annabelle. I feel so much better.’
Annabelle gave her a cheeky smile and dabbed her forehead with a snowy white handkerchief. ‘Come now, it wouldn’t do for us to begin lying to each other, would it? Unless of course the subject pertains to how much weight I may have gained during the summer.’
She couldn’t help a small smile curling the corners of her mouth. ‘Annabelle Smythe, you are so vain.’
‘Yes. I am quite sometimes. How else shall I capture a husband?’ She opened a small fan and waved it before her face. ‘Maid or not, it’s not very polite to make you walk all the way to Etford Park. With all his wealth, one might have thought the captain would have sent a buggy for you.’
‘He did. A very fine carriage in fact. I think it was his personal landau as his family crest was embossed on the side.’
Annabelle’s eyes widened. ‘So, why are you walking? What happened? Were you treated badly?’
‘Of course not. I have a lot on my mind, that’s all.’ She didn’t wish to relive the morning’s events. The pain was still too raw. At the mention of Stephaney being upset, Annabelle would no doubt begin to cry, and she would follow. No. As much as she treasured her dear friend, she didn’t need any more emotional upheaval today.
‘A lot on your mind? A private carriage, Lily!’
Ignoring her friend’s blatant disbelief, kept her gaze ahead and walked a little faster. ‘Was there anything else you wished to tell me? Or were you just in the mood for a little exercise?’
‘Hmm? Oh, yes. Mrs Jenkins is back!’
She dropped her bag. ‘She’s back?’
Annabelle blinked and gave her a sunny smile. ‘Yes. I just said that.’
She adjusted her gloves then picked up her bag. ‘When did she arrive?’
‘I’m not entirely sure, but I think it was last night. And this morning, there is smoke coming from her chimney. That’s why I hurried over here. I thought perhaps you would like to visit with her before you leave?’
‘Of course, I need to visit with her. I have been worried sick over what may have become of her. For a while there you had me almost thinking the captain was somehow responsible for her disappearance.’
Annabelle sighed. ‘Well, you must admit he could have easily been a suspect. A tall, dark, mysterious stranger turns up to a village in search of his next victim…’
‘You read too many novels, Anna. Never mind. Come, we’ll go now and see her.’
‘But, won’t you be late arriving at the manor?’
She shrugged and linked her arm around her friends as she steered them both from the laneway to the path leading to Nellie’s house. ‘I’m most probably a little late already, although I’m not exactly certain when I was expected. Besides, it will only be a short visit.’
Annabelle babbled excitedly beside her as she hurried toward the cottage. Thank the heavens Nellie was home safe. But, where has she been? And why the sudden disappearance? Dozens of questions rolled into her head as she opened the rusty gate and near ran along the stone path to Nellie’s front door.
Panting, she raised her hand to knock at the door and tried to catch her breath. A few, extraordinarily long moments seemed to drag by before the familiar squeal of metal sliding against metal sounded.
The hinges creaked open and there stood a woman she barely recognized. ‘Nellie?’ Yes, it was her friend. But gone was the pale, tired face. In its place was a serene smile, sparkling eyes and rosy complexion.
‘Lily! Annabelle! My dears. Come in, come in. I have so much to tell you.’
She entered the cottage and followed Nellie toward the kitchen. ‘I’m relieved you are back and in one piece. Annabelle and I have been so worried about you.’
‘There now, no need to fret. I’m perfectly fine, as you can see. Here, take a seat the pair of you. Sorry for not having a proper tea ready. Wasn’t expecting visitors so soon, but I’m very glad you’re both here. I don’t have any biscuits or cake I’m afraid, but the kettle is hot, so I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.’ Her friend lifted a steaming copper kettle from above the fire then poured boiling water into an old earthenware teapot. ‘And as for where I have been, I’ve been staying with my sister. She has a little cottage outside of Battersea.’
‘Oh, thank you.’ She reached out and accepted the cup and saucer offered by Nellie. ‘Battersea? I didn’t know you had a sister.’
Nellie nodded, raised her own cup to her lips and took a sip of the brew. ‘Yes. My younger sister, Elsie. We had a terrible falling out many years ago, but over just what, neither of us could recall anymore. I’m pleased to say she was happy to see me, though I wasn’t sure she would be. Seems her husband’s been dead these past ten years and her only daughter had eloped with some unsuitable man a few years ago and she’s heard neither hide nor hair from them since. And so, after spending the day with Elsie, we both decided we didn’t like living alone anymore and she asked me to come live with her.’
The cup slipped from her fingers and clattered into the saucer, spilling some of the tea. ‘You’re leaving?’
‘I am, my dear. But it’s all for the best. In fact, if it wasn’t for the captain, it never would have been possible.’
‘The captain?’
‘Yes, on your last visit here, he had called in after you returned home. He delivered some news.’ A grey shadow clouded Nellie’s eyes and her hand shook a little as she placed her cup upon the old chipped saucer, the once bright pattern of roses on the porcelain now faded and scratched. ‘You see, my dear grandson had died from wounds in battle.’
Annabelle’s eyes watered. ‘Oh, I am so very sorry.’
She fought to hold her own tears back, fearing they would be of no use to her friend. ‘My condolences, Nellie. He was a fine young man.’
‘Wasn’t he? Though in truth I hadn’t heard from him for so long, but in my heart, I feared he was gone.’
‘But why hadn’t you been told sooner?’
‘I’m not entirely certain.’ Nellie removed a tattered handkerchief from her apron pocket and dabbed at her eyes. ‘Though apparently it isn’t uncommon for the military to lose track of their casualties from time to time. I am only grateful Captain Holsworthy was kind enough to tell me in person, or I might never have known what happened to my dear Robert. The captain said Robbie was very brave and did me and his fellow soldiers proud. He even went as far to say it had been a personal honor to have known him.’ Tears of a different kind now swelled in her friend’s eyes - immense pride.
Suddenly, all the horrible things she’d said and thought about the captain came back to haunt her, making her feel very contrite. ‘That was indeed kind of the captain.’
‘All I can say is thank goodness he wasn’t a murderer after all.’ Annabelle’s words rubbed a barrel of salt into her wounded pride, causing her to flinch at how foolish she had been to even consider him a killer.
Nellie coughed, choki
ng on a sip of tea.
‘Who was murdered? Lord in heaven, surely you both didn’t think…I dread to think what you’ve been putting the poor man through.’
‘Oh, we didn’t accuse him. At least, not directly.’ Annabelle’s sunny smile was almost too much to bear.
‘Well, at least that is a saving grace.’ Nellie patted her chest and smiled. ‘Did I mention he brought me a letter from Robbie? You see, he couldn’t read or write very well. He was never one for school, but the captain had penned a few words for him. Seems Robbie left me his wages, which is much more than I had expected from him being in the army such a short time. But I am certainly grateful. The captain said he wanted to make certain I got the money. Seems my clever boy had also invested a little in something or another and the captain told me the profits will provide me with a small pension for a very long time. And, he insisted he would act for the investment on my behalf.’
An investment? She had only known Robert Jenkins a few short weeks before he left for the military, and though he was a likeable young man, he didn’t come across to her as the business-minded type. That, and the very fact he had been basically illiterate. ‘My, that is generous of the captain. You must have total confidence in him to manage your money.’
Nellie tilted her head and gave her a look that spoke of lifelong experience in judging character.
‘Lily, the man came here, when he didn’t have to, and told me my only grandson had died. Then he offered to have me taken to Chelsea, so I could visit Robbie’s grave and even hired a carriage to take me. Thanks to him, although I’ve lost my boy, I have family again and a secure future. I think Robert would want me to trust him, don’t you?’
Her throat constricted, and she nodded. ‘Yes. Yes, of course. So, I guess this is goodbye then?’
