by Erin Grace
A cold, numb sensation swept across her body at the news. ‘No. No, of course not.’
A sudden tremor shook her jaw. Gabriel was to marry someone else.
Her heart ached where there had been elation just moments before and her body began to shake. She must end her time at Etford Park. No longer would she be able to gaze upon Gabriel without fear of her heart breaking.
‘Here, you sure you’re all right? You look a bit pale, Miss.’
She held the tray tight. ‘I’m fine. Just a little tired. You go back downstairs and have your supper and I’ll see Lady Cecily gets this tray.’
Polly look relieved. ‘Thank you, miss. And good luck with it. I’ve already tried once, but her ladyship sent me away. And, you know Mrs Peel don’t like it when people won’t eat.’
The scullery maid turned and disappeared down the shadowy hall toward the stairs.
For what seemed like forever, she stood there, tray in hand, as she built the courage to face the very person who would be Gabriel’s wife. She wanted to be angry at the woman, furious for taking away what belonged to her. But he had never truly been hers.
She closed her eyes and swallowed the urge to cry.
Foolish girl. Only had herself to blame. She’d allowed herself a glimpse at what happiness could be, but instead fell in love when she had no right to.
Miracles weren’t meant for people like her. Papa’s death had taught just how cruel life could be, but she hadn’t learned the lesson, until now.
Blinking back the tears she slowly headed further down the hallway then stopped by the two large white carved doors that led to where Lady Cecily was staying. The apartments, furnished in various shades of rose and cream, had once belonged to Captain Holsworthy’s mother, Lady Etford.
She tapped gently upon the door, turned the handle and pushed. ‘Lady Cecily?’
In the dimly lit room, her mistress lay on the edge of the enormous bed, her back turned to her. She appeared to be crying.
Slowly, she walked further into the room then paused near the armoire. ‘Is there anything I can do, my lady?’
Her Ladyship shook her head and raised her hand to dismiss her. ‘No. Thank you. I am retiring early for the evening. I will see to getting changed myself, if you don’t mind.’
Something was wrong.
‘Would you care for this supper tray?’
‘No.’ Her ladyship’s voice had turned harsh. ‘Now, would you please leave?’
What had she done? ‘Yes, my lady.’
She turned and slowly walked past a small table which had several very fine sewing items set out on it beside an ebony embroidery hoop and a blue velvet basket. A shiny pair of silver scissors caught her eye. They reminded her of the set in the Rose Parlor downstairs, only these were a little smaller, as if used for travelling.
She stopped, heart in her throat.
Ivy leaves. Each part of the sewing set was carved with tiny bands of Ivy leaves shaped into the letter ‘E’ – the Etford family design.
Her mother. The thimble.
Near shaking, she left the room, closed the door behind her and covered her mouth.
Oh, Henrietta. What have you done?
Chapter 18
Yawning, Lily paused by the small opening in the kitchen door and spied a familiar figure sitting at the kitchen table.
Stephaney?
Her eyes widened in disbelief. Lord no. If Mrs Godfrey found her sister here, the woman would have both their necks. After last night she was on dangerous ground already.
She pushed open the door and walked in. A wooden spoon clattered on the polished tiled floor, echoing in the sudden silence. She didn’t know who appeared more shocked by her arrival – Stephaney or Mrs Peel.
Resting her hands on her hips, she sighed and issued her sister a firm glare. ‘Stephaney. I am dearly running out of patience with you. You cannot keep doing this. Everyone has been fraught with worry. My poor feet are still half chilled from last night. Honestly, I have a mind to put you over my knee this instant. What on earth are you doing here?’
Oblivious to her concern, her sister grinned, mouth trimmed with a glistening ring of treacle from the bun she was eating. How could the girl eat, when her own stomach was still tied in knots from the last fright she’d given her?
Wait. Stephaney was smiling?
She blinked in disbelief and approached the kitchen table. But she wasn’t seeing things. No. Stephaney really was smiling, her blue eyes sparkling with a type of mischief she hadn’t seen since their papa passed away. The revelation caused her knees to weaken and she slowly sat down in a chair opposite her sibling.
Then as if she hadn’t a care in the world, her sister pushed a plate of cakes across the table toward her. Her fingers trembled as she reached out and touched the edge of the plate. Was she still asleep and dreaming this? She didn’t know and didn’t care. Her sister was happy for the first time in nearly a year.
‘Good morning, Lily. Would like some breakfast? Mrs Peel makes the best treacle buns and jam tarts.’ Her sister swallowed a large mouthful then glanced away, a little sheepish. ‘Not that I don’t like your cooking, of course.’
Her eyes misted, but she couldn’t hold back a wide smile. ‘Little fibber. I’m an atrocious cook. But what are you doing here? You cannot simply come and go here as you please.’
Stephaney nodded, picked up a glass of milk and drank near half. ‘Yes, I can.’
‘Oh, for goodness sake. You can’t. It was very kind of Mrs Peel to look after you last night, but you were supposed to return home – and stay there. Mama doesn’t need to be looking for you every minute of the day. Do you have any idea how much worry you caused everyone? Besides, Mrs Godfrey will have my hide if she finds you here.’
Stephaney shrugged and continued devouring the sticky bun, talking between mouthfuls.
She groaned but tried not to laugh. Maybe Henrietta was right in some ways. Her sister needed to refine her manners.
‘But, Lord Etford said I may come here any time I choose, and that I may stay for as long as I wish.’
She rested her head against her hand and rubbed her forehead. ‘You are imagining things, my dear. Have you told Mama you were coming here? You can’t simply keep leaving the vicarage without telling her where you are going. You have had all of us sick with worry about you. And I think, since you are here now, we need to talk about something.’
‘About what?’
‘Dearest. I know since we arrived at the vicarage you have had trouble accepting our papa is gone.’
Her sister put down her food and met her eye. She had fully expected Stephaney to try to flee from her or become upset, or worse…say nothing at all.
But, no. Her sibling was paying her full attention.
‘I understand he is gone, Lily. I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to cause so many problems. I just wanted him to come back.’ Stephaney’s eyes glistened, but she didn’t cry. ‘But, I know now that Papa didn’t want to leave me. He did love me, didn’t he?’
Her eyes blurred, fingers trembled as she reached out and held her sister’s hand. ‘Oh, yes, he loved you so very much.’
Stephaney smiled softly and nodded.
‘In fact, I recall the day you were born. Papa was so happy, wandering throughout the house whistling that little tune he loved. He said he had a wonderful surprise for me. And naturally, I thought he had bought me the puppy I had always wanted. But when he brought you into the parlor all wrapped up in mama’s best knitted shawl I thought you were a doll and told him so. You see I already had several dolls and was rather disappointed you weren’t the puppy.’
Stephaney’s eyes brightened, and she let out a small giggle.
The joyful sound sent goose bumps along her skin and filled her breast with incredible warmth. And heaven help her if she didn’t want to cry again. If she received nothing else this Christmas, her sister’s smile was present enough.
Stephaney twisted her fingers together an
d bit her bottom lip, just as she did whenever she was worried or anxious. She had never noticed before.
‘Papa hadn’t been disappointed that I was a girl?’
She waved her sisters remark away and grinned. ‘Hardly. And when you were old enough, you would sit on papa’s lap and look at the pictures in the newspapers he brought home. You had a fascination for anything mechanical or driven by steam, and papa would sit patiently explaining to you how the engines worked.’
Stephaney wiped her nose and sighed but gone were the grey shadows that had haunted her sister’s eyes. ‘I miss Papa, Lily. I told Lord Etford so too.’
Her brow furrowed. ‘You did?’
Her sister reached out for hand. ‘Come. You must meet him.’ Oh, good Lord. Her sister hadn’t been joking with her.
A knock at the back door had Mrs Peel rushing over to see who it was. As the door opened a familiar smile greeted her.
‘Mama!’ Stephaney near leapt from her chair and ran to their mother. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I might ask you the same, young lady. Or have I lost two girls to the charms of Captain Holsworthy?’
Her cheeks blazed as Mrs Peel gave a hearty chuckle. Why did mothers have a talent for embarrassing their children? But her reaction had little to do with her mama’s tease. Inside she hurt with the knowledge that Gabriel will be wed soon, but she didn’t have the will to spoil her mother’s cheerful disposition by revealing her heartache.
‘You must be Mrs Bowden? Miss Stephaney has told me so much about you.’ Mrs Peel gestured her mother to sit down. ‘Do come in and sit awhile. I’ll put on a fresh pot of tea.’
Her mother smiled but shook her head. ‘Thank you, but I must decline. My brother’s wife had sent me on an errand, and as Mr Gleeson was kind enough to take me in the buggy, I’d thought to collect my youngest daughter.’
‘You knew she was here?’ She gave her mother a tender hug.
‘I had suspected it for a while now. But after Mr MacCallister found her here last night, I knew she would come here again. And before you attempt to complain, Stephaney, being here isn’t appropriate in the least.’
‘But, Mama. I’m not intruding. Indeed, his lordship and I play cards and chess, though he is such a terrible cheat.’
Her mother paled. ‘Stephaney. You can’t say that about him.’
Stephaney licked a trace of treacle from her finger. ‘Oh, he doesn’t admit it, but he knows it’s true.’
Mama rolled her eyes; no doubt wishing the earth to open and swallow her. ‘Regardless, you will come with me now. If Lord Etford wishes you to visit, then he should send you an invitation as is proper.’
She stifled a giggle as her sister pulled a face and slowly stood by her mother’s side.
The glint of her mama’s wedding band suddenly reminded her of what she’d seen in Lady Etford’s bedroom. ‘Mama, may I ask you something?’ She leaned in and lowered her voice a little. ‘Do you by chance have that silver thimble with you? The one Henrietta gave as a gift?’
Her mother’s brow furrowed a little. ‘I do, in fact. After misplacing your father’s one, I have taken to carrying this one with me always. Why?’
How could she tell her mama Henrietta was a thief who had put her family’s good name at risk? Not that the woman’s terrible actions were a far cry from everything else she’d done.
‘May I have it, please? I can’t explain right now but believe me when I tell you Henrietta did not buy it.’
Her mother’s eyes widened on a gasp. ‘Wretched woman. How could she?’ She reached into her reticule and withdrew her hand closed tight. ‘Here, take it. But what are you going to do?’
Ensuring no one had seen, she took the thimble from her mother then slipped it into her pocket.
‘Return it.’
What a nightmare.
Gabriel’s head ached, his body stiff and sore. Though certainly not the first time he’d suffered severe ailment, this time had been different. When he’d been wounded, his only concern had been his men. He had felt damned useless just lying there on the battlefield, his horse dead beside him.
Almost every day since, he’d awaken each night, the horrific visions never once leaving him in peace.
Except this time. No longer had he dreamed of death and destruction, of reliving the events he could never hope to change. This time he’d dreamed of Lily.
Many times, he’d tried to wake up, only to feel as though he was on a ship in rough seas. He vaguely recalled opening his eyes once or twice, but the room had swayed, and he closed them again. A part of his fever? He wasn’t certain. Though he swore at one point he had seen Lily there sitting beside him, her sweet face lined with worry.
She was holding his hand and talking to him. But damned if he could recall what she’d said. She looked as though she’d been crying. Whatever it was, it gave him a terrible feeling in his gut. Something was telling him she’d come to say goodbye.
Had he merely imagined her there?
Finally, he forced himself to blink his eyes open. Hell. The lamp light next to him felt like the Indian sun, the brightness sending shocking waves of pain hurtling through his mind. His mouth was incredibly dry, his rasping tongue a strange and foreign sensation. Where was he?
He tried to view his surroundings, but hell if he couldn’t focus on any of the large dark blotches around him.
‘Gabriel. Can you hear me?’
His brow furrowed. ‘Lily?’
‘No. I’m afraid not. It’s Cecily.’
He nodded slowly and breathed through the aching pain as he attempted to sit up, his head now pounding with a headache worthy of his best brandy-filled night in London. ‘Water, please.’
A glass was placed into his hand, which he then raised to his mouth and drank with an almost unquenchable thirst. When finished, he lowered his hand and licked his parched lips. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. I was wondering when you’d wake up. You’ve had us all very worried for two days now.’
He stared at Cecily until his blurry vision finally focused into place. ‘What happened? I recall being in the carriage, helping Miss Bowden find her young sister then, nothing.’
‘You had a terrible fever. At first, we had to make do without the village doctor, and the snow was too heavy to send to London. But he managed to come late last night. He felt perhaps you had already been through the worst of it, but he would check on you again today. I merely told him you were too stubborn let it get the better of you. He left you some laudanum should you need it, but he said all we could really do was wait.’
‘No…no laudanum. Can’t abide the stuff.’
She smiled, but there was a distinct sadness in her eyes. ‘I don’t blame you. Makes me ill every time I take it.’
He laid his head back against the pillow, sucked in a deep breath and tried to make sense of his situation. He recalled being in the carriage with Lily. They were smiling, laughing in fact – something he hadn’t done for a very long time.
‘What time is it?’
Her figure swished past him and stopped by the window then he was blinded by glary light steaming into the room. Good God. He closed his eyes and groaned. Who’d have thought the grey-skied gloom of winter could be so bright?
‘I’m sorry. Too much light? I never did make a very good nurse. And, to answer your question, it’s almost ten o’clock in the morning. But, you might be more curious to know what day it is.’
‘Day?’
‘You have been unconscious for just over two days now. It’s December twenty-first.’
‘Yet I’m sure nothing has changed for lack of my presence.’
‘Oh Gabriel, why so harsh? You’d be surprised to learn your father has been asking about you.’
He sat himself up higher in the bed and stifled a groan. ‘No doubt wondering where the hell I am.’
‘On the contrary. He seemed very concerned about you. Even last night he was sitting in the library til after midnig
ht and spoke with the doctor personally. He demanded that if the fellow couldn’t help you, then he must find someone else who could.’
His father was concerned about him? Why the sudden change of heart? ‘You hold me astounded, Cecily. What other news?’
‘My mama returned early from London last night. I’m so glad to see her.’
London? He wondered if she really knew her dear mama was only a few hours ride away at Lord Petherbridge’s estate or had she believed the woman’s lies?
‘She is most fortunate, indeed. Considering most would have much difficulty in passing the roads during this weather.’
‘I suppose so.’ Her gazed faltered as she moved to the bed and sat down and the edge. His body near recoiled at her actions, not knowing what to do. ‘But, I’m afraid there is other news which I feel I must tell you.’
Dressed in a familiar blue gown, Cecily gazed sorrowfully at him, her pale face etched with worry. All of a sudden it was if time had stood still and they were standing in the orangery of Etford Park, as she told him she was marrying his brother.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, overwhelmed as a gambit of emotions rushed back to greet him.
‘As I had mentioned, Mama had returned early and after dinner we had decided to retire to the Rose room to catch up on news. Mama had been walking ahead of me and when she entered the room she found your maid Polly most distressed.’
‘On what account?’
‘On account she’d caught Miss Bowden stealing from the house. Seems the girl had found Miss Bowden in possession of a silver thimble, one that had belonged to your late mother. Mama had also claimed to see the thimble in her hand as she entered the room.’
‘You’re lying.’ Sharp and meant to wound, his words bit hard.
