by Calista Skye
The chamberlain kept introducing more young women. “Lady Dereq P'il. Sixth daughter of the Count of Aramt. The name is apparently an unfortunate mistake, Your Highness. The family thought she was a boy until she was nine.”
The prince glanced over at Ev'ax. Of all the silliness... But his friend, always very conscious of duty, demonstratively refused to return his gaze. Ar'Ric sighed once more and steeled himself. Deadly peril in fierce space battles he could handle. But this...
“Miss Bul Y'mt. Only daughter of Baroness Gro'nn, the well-known sewage diver...”
3
There was just time for one little drink before their curfew would begin, so Emily and Tonya had gone to the one little bar where they as civilian maintenance workers were allowed to hang out after work. It was not very bar-like because, like every other part of the high-tech space station, it was brightly lit. It also managed to look run-down after only a few years in service. The facilities for the civilian employees of the station were not any kind of priority for the maintenance budget.
But it was okay, Emily thought. They served beer and wine in moderation. Two units of alcohol per person per five days was the allowance. Not enough to get you drunk at all, but if you had both units within an hour or so, you could get a nice buzz going.
The bar was milling with other people from the lowest ranks, and the noise level was pretty high.
“So,” Tonya said, bringing two glasses of beer back to their table and sitting down. “Two days to your meeting with the station commander. Try to remember me when you're promoted way over my head, okay? Cheers!”
They clinked their glasses together, and Emily enjoyed the coolness of the brew after fourteen hours of cleaning corridors and toilets.
“You know, I'll just be happy if it gets me out of Meller's vicinity,” she said as she put the glass down. “Anything is better than that.”
Tonya wiped her mouth with her sleeve. “Yeah? I don't believe for a damn moment that you'd be happy with just that. I sure as hell wouldn't be if I'd worked as hard as you have, and then I only got a promotion one step up. This level we're on now is like kindergarten, just two years of space duty to check if we can handle it. And you handle it better than most, Emily. Sure, everyone gets a promotion after their first two years, but you'll get on a rocket to supervisory staff. Mark my words. You got 'management' written all over you. Wouldn't surprise me if they ask you take the officer's course. Cadet Emily Fallon, huh? Sounds okay to me. I'd serve under you any day. You're my kind of lady.”
Tonya took another swig of her beer, and Emily started feeling better. It was true, everyone got promoted if they could stick it out for the first two years. And some got promoted many steps in one go.
“Thanks. Yeah, well. We'll see. We've both worked hard. Only fair that we get some compensation.” They clinked their glasses together again.
“Sure is. And when you get there, I'm thinking you can smuggle little old me into the officer's mess,” Tonya said with a sweet smile on her lips. “Some of those guys are non-jerks and pretty hot. Or maybe it's just that I've been in space so long that every damn male looks acceptable.”
“Tell me about it,” Emily said. “It's been so long since I got any action that even the aliens are starting to look good to me. Like, the weird orange ones or that one with the three legs that end in claws.”
Tonya giggled happily. “Yeah! I know! I mean, what would it feel like with that claw guy? Just once? Or would you be in danger of being cut in half?”
“Hey, don't laugh. Maybe he's a sex god. Maybe he could bring you to, like, a peak of bliss that's out of this world?” Emily giggled, too, as she could feel the alcohol loosening her up a little.
“Or he'd fill you with some of his alien seed, and you'd be spraying tadpoles out of your nose two weeks later!”
They finished their beers, and Emily got them two more while the bartender carefully noted that she and Tonya had now maxed out their five-day allowance.
“But seriously, that's one of the things I don't like that much up here,” Emily said. “The lack of a love life. It's like a walk in the desert. Just work and safety drills and no real chance for some actual romance.”
“Damn right. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Earth a little. At least there, I had a boyfriend sometimes.”
“Yeah. Pretty much all of mine turned out to be losers one way or the other. But I miss it. You know, like the intimacy. The little things, like watching a movie together and making pizza and going to the beach.”
“Mhm. Not much chance of that up here, until you get to the management level and are allowed to socialize with the visitors and the higher-ups. But I hear that's happening very soon for a certain friend of mine.”
They clinked their glasses one last time.
“Thanks, Tonya. You only got six more months yourself. We'll have a party when we're both out of this bottom level cleaning stuff. Unlimited beer allowance for us then.”
“Damn right. When that day comes, we'll be the drunkest chicks in space.”
4
“How many more days of this?” Prince Ar'Ric demanded. “I've just about had my fill of skin and bones and embroidery.”
He was in his suite in the Imperial Palace, pacing back and forth in frustration.
Ev'ax, lounging comfortably on a couch, consulted his pad. “Well, this was the first day of royal presentations. Because you have evaded all these functions for seventeen months before now, the Imperial court has decided that there will be five more days of introductions and banquets.”
“Five days? Of this gyrshit nonsense? Do they think I have nothing better to do than hear about the ribs and dexriding of these damn nitwit twigs? I sure hope the next batch will hold a better standard than today's bunch.”
“Hmm, yes... I fear that the quality of the prospects may prove to decline somewhat after today. The court was hoping that you might find a possible wife today because they made sure that all the most promising ladies were presented on the first day. From now on, only the less promising ladies will be introduced.”
The prince grasped his forehead in disbelief. “They'll... they'll get worse?!”
“I'm afraid so. These six hundred you met today were the most promising ones from the point of view of mental sanity, decent behavior, beauty of face, intelligence and so on.”
“Beauty?” said the Prince hopefully. “But that's based on the common concepts of beauty, isn't it? The ones that dictate thinness at any cost? Perhaps the larger and more womanly attractive ones come later?”
“Ar'Ric,” said Colonel Ev'ax, who only addressed the prince as 'Your Highness' in public, “I said 'beauty of face.' From what I can tell, your ideas of what constitutes a beautiful face are pretty much in line with most people's, although you prefer more roundness in the cheeks than some other men. I have made sure that the court knows that you prefer a body type with softer features, so these you saw today are among the roundest young women in the empire. From now on, the women who will be introduced to you are those that know they have little chance in the first place, so they must look their best. That means that they will do their utmost to conform to the common concepts of bodily beauty.”
The prince sat down heavily. “In other words, they will be even thinner.”
“Yes. Because they think they can improve their chances with you by slimming down brutally for many months before this. Your taste in women, which is indeed the tastes of most warriors, is not well known in the Empire. If it were, the fashion might change.”
The prince got his feet again and walked up and down the floor in frustration. “This is intolerable. Ev'ax, I can handle infiltrating the Swarm of Tri for months at a time before finding their brood mother. I can deal with the brutal assaults of the tiny Sssu, decimating my fleet. I can stand picking off one by one of the Durkuzz parasites when they attach themselves to my flagship and try to bore through the hull. I can live with being so far away from the civilized galaxy that we hav
e to live on insect stew for months at a time. I have withstood seeing my men brought to insanity and beyond by the Witches of Van Ma'anen. But this? This is... nightmarish!”
Ev'ax looked at his friend with amused puzzlement. It was true, the prince was unusually brave and tireless in combat and huge naval battles with fierce and strange aliens. That he should be brought to this desperate state by a few hundred women seemed extraordinary. The prince was a magnificent leader of men and could take immense hardships, so this was an unexpected weakness in him. It almost made the colonel glad that Ar'Ric had at least one weakness. He was so formidable and gifted in every field that it was sometimes easy to forget that he was only human.
“But that's not even the worst part,” the prince continued. “The worst part is that I do want a wife. I need one! I long for the female! Casual rolls in the hay with occasional young women are well and good, but I have tired of that. I want a wife, a true female, a mother for my children, a true partner for the rest of my life. A woman to hold and to come home to after months of conquest. A woman who has a different shape than me, who is rounder and softer, so that coming home to her gives me a sense of occasion, a feeling that I have protected something worth protecting, something valuable, something worth loving!”
He paced up and down the floor. “I need a wife. The Empire needs a princess. But this way,” he gestured irritatedly in the direction of the banquet hall where the function had taken place, “this way will not work if the ones I saw today are the best ones. And what of my soldiers? I know them, Ev'ax. They are just like you and me – they want real women, true females with womanly shapes. With the current fashion in force, they have little choice but to-” The prince suddenly stopped, and his head whipped around. “What did you say?” he snapped and stared at Ev'ax.
Ev'ax racked his brain. What had he said before the Prince's rant? “I think I said something about your taste in women.”
“Yes, and then? About fashion?”
“Oh, just a theory of mine. If you, an Imperial Crown Prince and the Heir Apparent, were to be seen preferring women with a little more... heft to them, it might become fashionable in the whole empire. It has frequently happened that the ideas and preferences of royals had a major impact on both fashion and culture. You're in a unique position to change many things. This is one of them.”
The prince stared even harder at his friend. “Are you saying that if I were to be seen, say, marrying a full-figured woman and making her my princess and the mother of my heirs, it might become the fashion among women to try to look like her?”
Ev'Ax shrugged. “It might. In fact, I think it would be inevitable. You carry an immense power of example. And it would be a relief to all the women in your empire to be able to enjoy the occasional meal without worrying about their figure.”
“And if there were more attractive women around,”, the prince pondered, “my soldiers would have a greater variety of women to marry! Each man could choose his preferred woman, based on personality and shape and all those other things that are so important to us males. Now that would be a proper reward for the gallant men who have followed me and conquered all those worlds! And for the young women of our Empire, who have supported the fighting men with their letters and gifts and carefully made garments. There will be no need to diet themselves half to death to meet the beauty criteria that are randomly imposed on them. No one will be ridiculed because they have a chunky shape. They will be both envied and emulated. It will be a healthier society! Every woman can be her shape, the one she prefers, the one that's her!”
The prince's mood had changed completely. Now he stood tall, an excited blush on his cheeks, imagining the future he would try to create.
“Yes, certainly,” Ev'ax said dryly. It was sometimes his duty to pull the prince down from the heights of impossible dreams. “But the problem remains: There are no such women in the Empire. There are no humans, at least, as the endless presentations today shows. And I can't imagine that you propose to marry a non-human.”
The prince shook his head. “I don't. We couldn't procreate, for one thing. No, it has to be a human woman. A good, fluffy young human woman with heavy breasts and a big, round behind and a face with dimples that grow deeper when she smiles...”
“I can only assume that you mean a woman from outside the Empire.”
The prince lifted his chin, as if in defiance. “If necessary.”
“That might present you with... difficulties.”
“I know that, of course. But the future of the Empire is at stake. And the right for women not to starve themselves. And the right for all my loyal men to find good and attractive women to marry.”
“Certainly a goal worthy of a prince.” Ev'ax knew that once Prince Ar'Ric had decided something, he would pursue it until he succeeded. It was one reason the empire had expanded dramatically since he was given command of the Fleet. And Ev'ax himself found the idea appealing. He, and all the men under his command, strongly preferred woman with feminine shapes. They were hard and lean themselves, and wanted something different in their partners, something feminine. “If you're set on this, I recently heard some news that might interest you. It was in the general staff briefing.”
“Yes? What is it?”
“A new human world has been discovered. It's a luscious planet with great, blue oceans and a breathtaking beauty. It's far away, too, but not too far for us to take a little trip there and consider the possibilities.”
“That sounds ideal!”
“They only have one space station, but it contains about ten thousand individuals. It might give us a clue to whether the females on that world are attractive women or just dry twigs like ours. It will take us about five days to get there and back.”
“Five days that we would otherwise spend being introduced to dry twigs, as you call them. We'll take the fastest civilian ship we have. Better not go there in a military vessel, they might not understand. You, me, and a pilot. It could be the most important expedition of our careers.”
There was a knock on the door, and the prince yelled 'enter' in his battle voice. The Duke of Hyp slunk inside, smiling obsequiously and bowing clumsily.
“Dear cousin,” he creaked. “It gladdens me to see you still standing strong.”
“Hyp,” the prince said in a curt greeting. “Why should I not still be standing? Surely you haven't succeeded in poisoning me yet?”
“Ha ha,” the duke laughed nervously. “It pleases the Crown Prince to jest. Such a wonderful sense of humor, just like your father, the Emperor. No, Your Highness, it's just that I know how little you care for these occasions such as we had today. Why, it's so long since I've seen you at court, I thought perhaps you had disappeared somewhere in the darker reaches of the galaxy.”
The prince nonchalantly sat down in an armchair. “No such luck, Hyp. I'll live to be Emperor, don't you worry. Well, now you've checked that I'm still alive. Can I be of service with anything else before you leave?”
“Oh, am I interrupting something?” The duke looked from Ar'Ric to Ev'Ax and back again, feigned horror on his face. “A romantic tryst, perhaps? I'm so sorry, cousin. It seems that you prefer the company of men. I suppose today's long parade of the most attractive young women in the Empire must seem repulsive to you. It causes me to wonder, in all innocence, as I know that many others also do, if you wouldn't be happier with a role that was more... withdrawn? One that didn't require you to, say, produce an heir? Because the idea of having to be in such close contact with a woman surely must seem downright offensive to you. I say this only as a most caring member of your family, of course, and also as a patriot who wants nothing more than for the Empire to be in good and safe hands. Safe and steady hands, with someone who is willing to shoulder the heavy responsibilities that you seem to shirk... Oh, I'm sorry, I see I made you angry. I mean no offense, but you can hardly blame me for speaking honestly. Will you not put down your heavy burden and step down as Heir Apparent, letting the next man in line
prepare to rule the Empire?”
“The next man being you, of course,” the prince scoffed. “The company I keep is no concern of yours, Hyp. And while I take responsibility for expanding the Empire and defend its borders, you prefer to while away the days isolated in your palace, if you're not busy cooking up intrigue at the Imperial court. I know you have a burning desire to replace me as the Heir Apparent, but I'm still young. I can still find a woman who's worthy of becoming an Imperial princess and later Empress. In fact, Colonel Ev'Ax and I were just discussing an expedition with that exact purpose.”
“I see,” the Duke said, shaking his head sadly. “My patriotic and deeply felt petition has fallen on deaf ears. I suppose you think all problems of state can be solved with military expeditions. Well, we shall see. I take my leave, Your Highness, urging you to consider your position more seriously. Perhaps in time you will become more reasonable. If not, events may take a course of their own. Farewell.” The duke bowed deeply and scurried out of the room.
“That is a most disagreeable person,” the prince observed.
“Indeed,” Ev'Ax agreed. “But was it wise to inform him of your plans?”
“Probably not. But he provoked me. Well, it's not like he can do anything to stop us.”
The young colonel frowned. “Hmm. He came pretty close to threatening you. I don't trust that man, Ar'Ric. He spreads rumors and keeps plotting your downfall.”
“He does. And he always has. But I'm not worried. I think he's more talk than action.”
“Words have power. There is something unwholesome about that duke. As if he's not completely... sane.”
The prince got to his feet. “I have often thought the same thing, Ev'Ax. But let's not waste more time on him. We have an expedition to plan, one that just might crush his crazy ambitions once and for all.”
5
The commander of the Tellus Station had a large office with giant windows on three walls. Right now, it gave a spectacular view of the Earth on one side, the Moon on the other and black space straight ahead behind her. Emily was stunned. She had never been in the office before, and no other part of the space station had a view quite like this.
