He bowed his head and got off the chair so he could go to his bathroom down the hallway.
Deacon turned back to me, like he felt bad for being so harsh with his son. “I hate it when I have to do that.”
“I don’t think you should. It’s easy to be the fun parent, but you’re going to turn him into a great man. Some woman will fall in love with him, and she’ll feel so lucky having a man that treats her so well.”
He smiled slightly.
“Like your parents did with you…so I could find you.”
“I have a feeling Derek will be a better man than I ever could.”
“Maybe,” I said.
He enjoyed the rest of his wine as he looked at me, occasionally swirling his glass before he brought it to his lips.
“Why did Valerie need you to watch him?” I’d assumed she would want to hog Derek after his first day of school because Deacon told me it’d been an emotional day for both of them.
“She has a date.”
“She does?” I asked in surprise, so happy to hear that. The sooner she got a serious man, the sooner she would forget about my man. If she fell for someone, she would accept me into Deacon’s life much easier. “That’s great.”
“Yeah. I just hope it’s genuine. That she’s not trying to make me jealous or something.”
“Even if she is, maybe they’ll hit it off.”
“Maybe.” He set his empty glass down and rose to his feet. He started to clear the plates to leave them on the kitchen counter for the housekeeper to take care of tomorrow. “He’s actually one of your clients.”
“Really?” I asked. “I guess that makes sense. There’re a lot of wealthy guys in the building who would love a trophy wife.” That was exactly what the older ones wanted, a sexy young woman to make them feel young forever. “Did she say who?”
“Yeah.” He turned to walk into the kitchen. “That asshole Jake Patterson.”
Thankfully, Deacon had stepped away so he couldn’t see my face.
And watch me nearly shit myself.
I couldn’t sleep.
I lay there with Deacon behind me, his chest against my back, his arm over my stomach. He was in a deep sleep, his breathing gentle and even.
I stared at the opposite wall, haunted by the silence.
We made love like usual, and his kisses stopped me from thinking about my fears, but once we were finished, I was back under the blanket of terror.
God, this was bad.
Maybe this would be a one-time date that would destruct quickly afterward. But Valerie was gorgeous, and Jake’s ex-wife was gorgeous too. He probably wouldn’t have asked her out since they lived in the same building…unless he really wanted her.
And if he told her about me, she would tell Deacon.
And I would be fucking screwed.
Fuck, this was bad.
Or worse, she would tattle on me since she was already intimidated by me.
I could talk to Deacon first and tell him what happened, but that would mean I’d have to tell him I’d slept with a married man, which was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to me. I was ashamed, wanting to take that secret to the grave.
But maybe it would never come up at all.
Jake had never told my secret to anyone. Even if we weren’t together anymore, he knew he would put my job in jeopardy if he shared that knowledge. He had friends in the building, and he had never told them…so why would he tell her?
Especially when it could make her jealous.
The last thing he should want to do was mention the woman he had an affair with.
It could chase her off.
I convinced myself I was being paranoid, that there was nothing to worry about. Regardless of who Jake slept with, there was no reason to tell anyone what had happened between us, especially when it made him look bad.
The secret was safe.
I was safe.
I’d had Matt take care of Jake’s needs so I wouldn’t have to see him anymore. As a result, we almost never crossed paths…unless he sought me out. The chances of me seeing him were slim, especially with Valerie.
So, I didn’t think about it further.
When Valerie’s mail came in, I took the elevator to her floor and knocked on her door, knowing she was usually home.
But this time, she didn’t answer.
I let myself in and brought her mail into the residence.
I stilled when I saw Valerie in the kitchen, wearing a man’s t-shirt, shirtless Jake behind her. They were listening to music and cooking, oblivious to me.
He guided her hand as he stood behind her. “This is how you julienne.”
I crept backward slightly, hoping to slip out without them noticing me. My heart was racing a million miles a minute, fucking terrified I’d be caught. I didn’t care about seeing Jake with anyone, let alone Valerie, but I didn’t want him to see me see him with her.
Valerie raised her chin then noticed me. “Cleo?”
I jumped on the spot, dropping some of the mail. “Sorry, I thought you weren’t home…” I bent down and picked everything up and carried it to the closest surface on which to put it down. I didn’t raise my gaze because I didn’t want to see Jake look at me, didn’t want to make eye contact.
Valerie didn’t seem mad, which was out of character for her. “It’s fine. I was waiting for that Vogue magazine anyway.” She turned to Jake behind her and raised the slice of cucumber. “How about this?”
I straightened and looked at him.
His eyes were on me, awkward that I was there, uncomfortable to be seen with someone else. “Yeah…perfect.” He didn’t even look at it.
She fed it into his mouth. “I did good, huh, babe?”
Babe? Really? “Well, have a good day…” I moved back to the door and got out of there as quickly as possible, practically slamming the door behind me.
Once the door was shut, I took a deep breath, my hands on my hips. “Oh sweet Jesus…did that just fucking happen?” I had no idea why Valerie hadn’t screamed at me because she screamed at me for any little thing. But then it dawned on me.
She wanted me to tell Deacon what they were doing.
Maybe this all really was a ploy to make her ex jealous.
That meant this probably wouldn’t last long…and would die out quickly.
Which was good for me.
Eleven
Deacon
A knock sounded at the door.
Cleo didn’t walk in then, so I knew it wasn’t her.
Then the doorbell rang.
That meant it was Valerie.
I left the dining table and walked to the front door, opening it without checking the peephole.
My assumption was right. “Hey, Valerie.” I looked down and saw Derek beside her. “Hey, little man. How was school?”
“Super awesome.” He moved into me and hugged me.
I chuckled and patted his shoulder. “That’s great, Derek.” I lifted my gaze and looked at her. “You need me to watch him until tomorrow?” I assumed she had another date, which was great news for me. Hoped she fell in love and got remarried—and forgot about me.
“Actually, I need to talk to you about something.” She was all business, inviting herself inside. “Derek, go to your room.”
“I just got here,” he argued.
“Derek.” She raised her voice.
“Alright…alright.” Derek walked down the hallway with his backpack on. He shut his bedroom door a moment later.
I hadn’t seen Valerie act this way in a long time, so naturally, I was concerned. “Everything alright, Valerie?”
She placed her hands on her hips, her attitude flaring. “I don’t want Cleo around our son anymore.”
I stared at her blankly, having no idea where her rage came from. It was so random. I thought she’d finally forgotten about Cleo. Unless she figured out we were together… I had no idea how she would make that assumption unless Derek told her, but he never woul
d. “Why?” I didn’t incriminate myself by assuming she was right.
“Because she’s trash.” She raised her voice even though she didn’t want our son to hear. “She’s a homewrecker. She’s a terrible influence, and I don’t want her around you—and definitely not our son.”
I still wasn’t following. “Homewrecker? You aren’t making sense right now.”
“She’s a whore, alright?”
Now, I got mad. “Don’t talk about her like that, Valerie.”
“I can say whatever I want when she slept with my boyfriend.”
I stopped breathing, my lungs locking in place because my body suddenly didn’t need air anymore. My ribs were stuck too. My entire body shut down because I just didn’t know how else to react. “What do you mean, she slept with your boyfriend?”
“As in, she had an affair with Jake while he was married, and that was why he got divorced.”
Now, it got worse—and I felt worse.
She slept with Jake Patterson?
The man who screamed at her for not delivering his… Oh shit.
That was a lie.
She lied to me.
Fucking lied to me.
And he was married? Not only did she sleep with one of her clients, but a married one?
So, I wasn’t the only exception to her rule?
How many others had there been?
Why didn’t she tell me?
Valerie crossed her arms over her chest, furious. “See? She’s a skank.”
I couldn’t defend her because I was too blindsided.
She’d had an affair?
She’d snuck around behind her own client’s back? She knew when the wife was out of the house and took advantage of that knowledge?
Would she really do something like that?
The woman I loved?
“I always knew she was a bitch. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew there was something I didn’t like about her. She lies to her clients, she breaks up marriages, who knows what else she does? I don’t want that person going through my stuff, checking my mail, having my keys.”
I still couldn’t think straight. I was fucking overwhelmed.
“I’m going to make sure her ass is fired. Jake told me not to say anything, but it’s a disservice to everyone who lives here that Cleo is a liar. They deserve to know what kind of person is in their lives.”
My heart started to beat faster, realizing the one thing Cleo was afraid of was about to happen. “Don’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because even if everything you’ve heard is true, losing her job is a harsh punishment. And she’s great at her job.”
“Whatever,” she snapped. “Who else has she slept with? The women in this building need to know their marriages are at risk.”
“Valerie, come on.”
“I want her gone.” She turned to the door.
“Valerie.”
She turned back around, her hands on her hips, her nostrils flaring.
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“Why?” she snapped.
“Just don’t.”
She rolled her eyes. “Your misplaced affection has impaired your judgment.” She turned back around.
I wasn’t just pissed off. I was hurt. If this was true…I didn’t even know Cleo. But I still covered her ass, even though I didn’t owe her anything. “Valerie, please.” I moved to the door and blocked it so she couldn’t get out.
“Why?”
“We’re only hearing his side of the story—”
“Unless Jake is a psycho and made the whole thing up, I don’t see how there can be much deviation from what he said. She slept with him. Period. He was married. Period. She ripped apart a marriage. Period.” She moved to the door again.
I grabbed her arm and steadied her. “I’m asking as a favor…to me.”
Her eyes narrowed, and her nostrils flared a moment later.
“Please.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re going to defend her. I know your beliefs, and there’s no way you’re okay with this.”
If it was true, no. I wouldn’t be okay with it. “How long ago did this happen?”
“Like eight months ago.”
I couldn’t hide my reaction, because that was the exact time we met. I’d assumed this happened years ago…but it didn’t.
“I really like Jake, and I don’t feel comfortable letting her into my home after what she did to him.”
I should just let her go, let her do whatever she wanted. This wasn’t my mess to clean up. “Valerie, I’ve never asked you for anything, but I’m asking this of you. One-time favor, alright?”
Her breathing remained quick and harsh, and as the silence continued, it intensified. “Oh my god…you’re fucking her.”
“No.”
“You liar—”
“I’m in love with her.” I didn’t have any other tool at my disposal. I had no other leverage to fix this. This was my only option since Valerie was so adamant. Valerie would either be compassionate…or spiteful.
Her eyes widened at the revelation, like she couldn’t believe what I’d just said. We’d been married for five years, and every time she’d told me she loved me, I responded with detached silence. I told her I was incapable of feeling that way. So, this was significant.
“If you say something, she’ll lose her job.”
She pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head. “Wow…”
“I know—”
“How can you possibly love her when you never loved me?”
Because it was no contest. “It just happened…”
“How long has this been going on?”
I didn’t want to answer because it was none of her business, but I was at her mercy right now. “A few months…”
“So, you lied to me? I asked you if you were sleeping with her—”
“And that was the truth—at the time.”
She pressed her lips tightly together again, furious. “How can you possibly defend her after everything I just told you? There’s no way you knew, because if you did, you wouldn’t be with her.”
She had me there. “Because I know Cleo, and I’m gonna give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“What?” she asked incredulously.
“I’m going to talk to her before I assume anything. There’re two sides to every story.”
“Wow.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot. Of course she’s going to lie—”
“Jake could have lied.”
“He has no reason to. She does.” She tightened her arms over her chest. “And they slept together a few months ago.”
Now, I got punched in the gut—hard. “What?”
“He said they hooked up a few months ago.”
I couldn’t keep a straight face anymore.
“You didn’t know about that either.” Her eyes shifted back and forth as she looked into mine, like she actually felt bad for me. “I was your wife, the mother of your child, but you didn’t love me. But you love someone you don’t even know…” She pushed my arm down and opened the door. “That’s just sad, Deacon.”
I couldn’t fight her anymore. Couldn’t stop her.
Because I was broken.
Twelve
Cleo
At the end of the day when I was the last person in the office, I took the elevator to Deacon’s residence. My feet were sore from running around in heels all day, and my ass was sore from hustling all over the place. All I wanted was a quiet night with Deacon, to have dinner and a glass of wine, to go to sleep in his big bed afterward.
He was my favorite part of the whole day.
I knocked before I let myself inside.
Most of the lights were off except a couple lamps. Deacon was on the couch, in his sweatpants and t-shirt, his elbows on his thighs with his chin slightly tilted to the floor. The energy in the room was weird, like he’d had a terrible day.
I shut the d
oor behind me. “What’s wrong?”
He was quiet, his eyes on the floor.
I set my purse on the table and moved to his lap, to sit on him like I did in his office.
But he rose to his feet instead, stepping away and rejecting my affection.
He’d never done that before. “Deacon?”
He took a few steps before he turned around, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes still on the floor.
“Deacon?” I repeated. When he did say anything, I started to get scared. I’d seen him angry before, but he had never been like this. My paranoia started to get to me, but I rejected it, knowing it was so unlikely that Jake would have told Valerie anything. But the longer the silence I continued, the more I started to worry. “Deacon?”
He raised his chin and finally looked at me.
And he looked like a whole different man.
Now, I was fucking terrified, breathing hard, my fingertips numb.
“You slept with Jake Patterson?”
All the feeling left my limbs, all the air disappeared from my lungs. My mind started to warp reality, making it feel like a very dark dream. But then the dizziness passed, and I realized it was real, this conversation was really happening, Jake had betrayed me the second it was convenient for him. “Look—”
“Answer the question.” He was cold, just the way he used to be before we got to know each other. He reverted back to his jackass persona, like I was a stranger…or his enemy. “And appreciate the fact that I’m asking you anything at all.”
Oh my fucking god. “Yes. But—”
“Was he married?” His mood soured further, like he’d been hoping for a different answer.
“Yes. But—”
“And you’re the reason he got divorced?”
Technically. “Kind of—”
“When you were fighting in the lobby and I walked over, he wasn’t yelling at you for the dry cleaning and the mail. You lied to me.”
I stared into his face, paralyzed with fear.
He took my silence as a sufficient answer. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He looked away for a second, his palm rubbing across his jaw.
The Man Who Has No Love (Soulless Book 3) Page 13
