by Holly Grace
“Who, mom? Who was it?” my whole body was vibrating with fear. Somehow I knew who it was but I don’t want to say it aloud lest it would be true.
“It was Veronica dear. She’s here in the hospital for now. We did not want to call you last night because we were in the ER, your father and I decided to call you after we’ve made sure she survived her injuries.”
I was now sobbing so hard and gripping the phone with all my might, I wonder how I haven’t broken it yet. Although we had an altercation yesterday, one tiny fight could never mess up for years of friendship. Though I know Veronica does hold bitter and long grudges somehow my hope that we can be friends again will come soon.
My mom said goodbye consolingly on the phone after I asked if I could be with Veronica today, my mom understood how close we were so she said yes; she never knew we had a fight just a day ago.
Everyone might think Veronica was this loose girl who gives her affections too quickly, even though, she was still my best friend, even when she was still mad at me for getting a boy’s attention that she liked and was not even my fault, I would fight for her and stay by her side.
I have this suspicion that people will judge her more now, everyone might say that she wants this, that because she dresses in tight slutty clothes and wants everybody’s attention, that it was just waiting for this to happen to her.
Nobody wants to be raped. No girl ever asks to be.
Deciding to not go to school today and hold a vigil by Veronica’s side I prepare for the day ahead. I cannot go back to sleep so I just had to ready what I would bring, of course foremost of that is her own clothes. Nothing can speed up mending all your broken pieces faster when you feel like yourself before that violation was committed against you.
I carefully folded her most favorite dress. The dress I wore when we had the fight, she left some undies here at home so I packed it too and I threw in the pair of turquoise sandals that she loves to borrow so much. This would go well with the dress. I know these actions might be too little for some, but I would do everything in my power to help her.
The hours waiting for the clock to strike eight were so long. I can’t believe it was just thirty-five minutes ago when mom broke the news, visiting hours in the hospital would not be for another few hours yet.
The wait is worse for the one who is awake than the one asleep.
Three cups of coffee and more than three hours later, I heard Sin’s motorcycle on the driveway, he must have thought to pick me up for school today. I met him outside quickly, I’m going to have to tell him I can’t come to school today and I’m going to have to cancel our dinner plans.
Seeing his expectant face does not make breaking the news to him any easier.
“Hi! Are you ready? Let’s go. I really want the hours to go faster you know. The house is all ready, we’re going straight there after school, yes?” he asked excitedly.
“Sin about that.” I began to explain.
“What?” he looked so apprehensive, maybe thinking that I am unwilling to go with him.
“I just got a call from mom this early morning, when their beepers went off last night they went to the hospital to treat someone. They didn’t know who it was at first, presuming it was just some random girl. Only she wasn’t, it was Veronica; she was attacked, her assailants left her for dead. Mom said she nearly did die, but Veronica is such a strong girl, she wanted to live. Sin I can’t go with you right now. I have to be with my friend, she needs me now, more than ever.” I said solemnly. “Can I take a rain check on our date though? I still would still want to go out, just not today, if you’d still want to. With all the drama involving my friends right now I don’t know if you would still want to though.” I hurriedly explained.
It was as if I rendered him mute, though I can see he was seething inside, his jaw kept on clenching and unclenching. He must have gone through a lot of preparation just for our date tonight. He must hate to be thwarted.
He observed that I was taken aback by his expression and momentarily arranged his demeanor.
“Sin I’m really sorry.”
“Okay, what time will you leave? I’ll just take you home then.”
“I’ll be there as long as she wants me. If she wakes up then asks for me to leave then I’ll go home, besides her mom probably wouldn’t be there for her. She needs me Sin.”
“Just don’t get your hopes up, she might act like your other friend and push you away. I’ll see you after your visit; do you want me to take you there?”
“No, I’ll take my car.”
There was this look that he thought he hid so well but it came to burst when I suggested to drive there alone, I gauged that he looked panicked.
“No, you can’t.” his voice raised “I’ll take you to the hospital, remember you haven’t fixed the scratches and dents yet.”
“Oh, right, thanks for reminding me. If my dad sees it, I’ll be grounded for life, I’m sure.” I remembered. “Okay, what’s our number then? I wanted to call you earlier in case Veronica got worse and I needed to get to the hospital fast.” He rattled of his home phone number as he hasn’t had time to buy a cell phone yet.
“Promise me you won’t go alone when meeting her if she wakes, alright? I’ll stay with you.” he suggested.
“How about school Sin? And you’ve just started. I don’t want to get you I in trouble.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be. Principal Neil won’t do anything especially when I tell him that we visited a friend in the hospital, another student that goes to our school. That was a valid enough reason. Hey, shall we go now? Visiting hours just opened.”
I was stunned by his ready volunteering, as I have never met someone so ready to help out anyone whom they have just known barely three days. My common sense warns me of the inevitable bargain that he might ask of me later but my heart tells me to trust him, he hasn’t done anything to hurt me yet, unlike Jane and Veronica. I really miss Joan’s level-headed insights now.
We arrived at the hospital, Sin too guarded and I so full of hope.
Everything came crashing down when I got to Veronica’s room. My beautiful and vivacious friend who up until a few days ago would make any men of varying age make their head turn now lies limp on the hospital bed, wrists attached to two IV drips and one for blood, tubes for oxygen blocked my view of her bruised and battered face, her perfectly vibrant auburn hair was shaved in various places where surgery was done, scars, rashes and stitches marred her face and body, plaster casts were made to reset broken bones.
My heart aches for Veronica.
I never felt the cold tiled floor crack my knees as I collapsed, huge wracking sobs tore from my mouth, I couldn’t stop my grief, Sin carried me to the loveseat provided for the visitor, he seated me on his lap and comforted me until my sobs died down. I felt him rub my back and pat my cheeks dry with his pristine white hanky.
Sin looked at me as though sympathizing with my anguish; we began our silent vigil by Veronica’s side that day, still in that position while he consoled me, only interrupted by bathroom breaks and Sin getting us bland unpalatable food from the hospital cafeteria. Even if I said I was not hungry he kept on pushing me to take a bite of my sandwich, I later compromised and took a tiny nibble on the stale food and a gulp of bottled water.
He smiled at my compliance, obviously concerned at my distress over Veronica’s plight. Random nurses whom I’ve known by name ran tests and got samples and results from the machines connected to Veronica, each more encouraging than the last. They have known us to frequent these halls, doing our volunteer work when our schedule permits.
“Did you know that we used to volunteer here at the hospital during summer and winter breaks? We loved going to the pediatric unit to cheer kids up, encourage them to get better. Joan and Jane would be the perfect little nurse’s aide while Veronica would be the clown, she would invite the kids to play or dance with her and she can turn smiles on a dismal room. I’ve always loved that about her you know, peo
ple especially boys just gravitates towards her. The only one that I’ve seen who can resist her so far is you? Why?”
He grinned at my question and shook his head.
“The first time I saw her was when she went to your friend’s house, she was climbing the trellis onto the balcony. I knew then that she was intrigued about me, but you see I knew she was not the one for me no matter how alluring she was or how sexy she is physically. Captivating women are a dime a dozen in my world, too much superficial good looks not enough substance. What I want is someone who has a quiet beauty; one that doesn’t need too many external additions just to expose her splendor, one who is compassionate and strong, resilient and unbending, intelligent and silly; she is an exquisite blend of contradiction.” He is now looking fervently at me, “Veronica for all her attractiveness failed to ensnare me, because I was waiting for you to show.”
“I was waiting for you Kat, you own me body and soul.”
Sin lowered his head slowly; capturing my lips with his, anchoring his hand to my nape while tasting and exploring tentatively as he resisted the urge to devour and consume me, just like what happened last night.
I don’t want her to have any more reason to be afraid of him when he was so close of seizing her.
The kiss went on longer than I presumed; it was different than the last kiss he had given me last night. This. This is more tender, gentler, sweeter and I like it. It went on and on, changing from light nibbles to timid tastes never knowing the time that passed as she held her vigil.
Sin broke the kiss just as my dad went through the door, what great timing dad! Sin saw my annoyance and he just shrugged comically as he stood up to greet him.
“Hey baby, mom and I were so worried about you, Mia; one of the nurses informed us that you were crying,” my incredulous face at the blatant invasion of my privacy must have alarmed him to quickly defend, “now dear, she also appeased us when she said that you were in good hands with Sin here. I just want to see for myself that were alright and also it’s nearing the end of the visiting hours so you might want to get on with your date, yes?”
“No dad, I told Sin to cancel. With Veronica here and me all anxious, I want to know if she ever wakes up and I’ll be there by her side in a heartbeat.” I explained, I did not know it was this late; it was only a couple of hours ago when we arrived here. That’s the trouble with waiting, either time moves too slow that you want to frustratingly pull your hair every second or it flies too fast that you want to seize every minute that escaped you.
“Nonsense! You should go out more, enjoy being young. You think your friend would be happy if you were to mope in a sterile hospital room?”
“Honestly dad, she would love it if Sin and I wouldn’t go out on a date.” I elbowed Sin when I heard him snicker.
At first dad sported his I’m baffled expression and then it dawned on him.
“Oh, hmm it’s one of those huh?”
“Yup.” Sin just stood there acting nonchalant while I awkwardly answer my dad’s inquiry at the basics of my social life.
“Oookay then, I’ll be leaving now, your mom and I will be staying here for the night, we’re going to be doing an overtime, it seems a lot of accidents and crimes in the past few days are happening in the city and somebody is being wheeled into the emergency room every hour or so.” he made to exit the room after looking at Veronica’s chart, “Your mom and I wouldn’t object to you going out with Sin tonight though, we trust him to keep you safe; if he was willing to be conked in the head for you then he is an absolutely fine bodyguard. Aren’t you young man?” he asked turning to Sin, at his nod my dad continued. “Yes, well, what are you waiting for then? Just get her back before eleven okay? Kat’s curfew is at ten but I’m willing to negotiate since it’s a weekend tomorrow.” He winked at Sin who I saw was beaming in happiness. “Have fun kids! But not too much okay? Shot gun’s still locked and loaded under the bed.” was dad’s parting shot.
“He was kidding!” I laughingly said as I saw Sin’s incredulous look. “My dad’s the last man you’ll ever see owning a gun, it’s against his principle as a doctor you see, to take a life instead of prolonging it. Our family may be the most pacifist in the whole of America. We’ve never even fought, not even once.” I assured him.
“So we’re on?” he asked, as he ushered us once more to the chair and sat me on his lap.
“I think so. It’s rare for my father to approve much less initiate for me to go out, you’ll have to obey his rule though if you want a repeat sanctioned approval direct from him.”
“I’ll try,” he said flippantly and I playfully smacked his rock-hard torso. “Seriously though, would you like a repeat date after tonight?”
“I am amenable to that.” I rasped as I notice him eyeing my lips.
“And beyond that?” I can feel his breath caressing my skin, his nose touched mine.
“Yes, I would like that.” I whispered as his lips finally met mine.
This is the third time that he kissed me sweetly. I could certainly get used to this, his kisses were so enticing, soft, vigorous but cautious at the same time, as if afraid I would not reciprocate his tender assault on my lips. To quell his doubt I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck, pulling his lips closer to mine. My body shuddered as I moaned and sighed as he captured my bottom lip between his teeth. His hair felt as soft as it looked, my fingers cannot stop exploring the way the texture changes as they delved further to anchor myself into the kiss. I felt his hand travel to my lower back to my front edging carefully to my cotton covered breast, his mild onslaught giving me shivers as I sense a frisson of want and need from him.
“So are we together now?” he asked as he stopped to let us inhale for air taking short deep breaths.
“Yes. You can say that.” I agreed shyly, I can feel my cheeks turning crimson with my discomfiture as I looked away. He tucked stray strands of my hair, making me gaze towards his mesmerizing amber eyes. I saw them alight with happiness at my affirmation. I would not deny him now, seeing him become ecstatic with a simple yes is heartening.
“Yes? Really? Yes!” he shouted and giddily shifted on the chair, well as much as the cramped chair allowed. I had to curb his enthusiasm a bit. We were in a sick room after all. It was just upsetting that we were in Veronica’s sick room, I felt guilty that I was the one who is with Sin now, when she was the one who was so adamant to be his girlfriend. As if sensing my thoughts he sat up quickly in a stern manner. He must be afraid I might renege on my declaration; I gave him a smile to reassure him that I was serious.
“I have to call home, tell them dinner is pushing through. I called this morning when I was getting our lunch that we may not be there, dad sounded really disappointed. He’ll be happy to hear that we’re going.” He said excitedly as he got up.
“Wait. You’re taking me to your home and your father knew?” I asked, chagrined and panicked.
“Yeah.” He dragged out the ye-ah. “I wanted them to know you. Don’t say you’re backing out now?”
“No.” I denied, what can I do? I already said yes. “I was just wandering, aren’t this a bit quick? I mean we’ve just started going out, we haven’t even gone out. What if this doesn’t work? What if they won’t like me?” I murmured the last.
He just looked at me disbelievingly, “Are you kidding me? I have been telling them about you since the day we met, well basically it was just my dad and brother but they do want to meet you, they were so intrigued from what I told them and would really love to know you. You just don’t know your appeal don’t you? You know that was what attracted me to you first; you were so blind to your beauty, so unassuming and you never kissed my ass, you were kind of a bit rude to me instead. You are challenging, when other girls all wanted my attention you couldn’t even be bothered; you were giving as I saw what you did with Veronica when you noticed that she was into me even though I clearly preferred you.” I giggled as I remembered the first time we met. “That is why I couldn’t t
ake my eyes off of you that day; you might think we are too young, that this feeling was too fast but it’s real to me. You are it for me Kat.”
He kissed my forehead gently, he asked if he could leave me for a while and went on to phone his family. I was left contemplating Sin’s reaction, dare I say that I’m beginning to be convinced that this relationship might eventually work; or that his affection really ran much deeper than mine.
I am not going to lie to myself, what I feel for Sin was just a deep regard and friendship. Will this be enough for him?
My thoughts were interrupted by someone arriving, I thought it was Sin but upon a closer inspection was just someone delivering flowers. And it was a huge arrangement too; with varying colors of Striped and White Carnations, Lavenders, Rhododendrons and Snapdragons. It was a curious mixture but it was beautiful. I was perplexed as to who would give Veronica an elaborate set-up, this might have cost a pretty penny, maybe it was from her mom as I haven’t seen her yet and the nurses said that no one from her family visited her too.
“Hi, from who were the flowers from?” I asked the delivery guy. He turned to me and I saw he really had an uncanny resemblance to Sin that I had to blink twice to make sure it was not him; they had the same height, eye-color, hair color and complexion, they were almost as close to age too as I presumed this man to be near twenty and his build was more muscular.
