Mr. Brunson stood to leave. “I really appreciate your time.” He nodded to both Hannah and Jake. “Hannah, that was a really fine supper. The meat was the best. Thank you for inviting me.”
“You’re very welcome,” Hannah said. “We’d love to have you come again sometime.”
Jake offered his hand to Mr. Brunson, and as they shook, he said, “God has ways of seeing things are made right. I think you should consider this God’s way of doing so.”
“Thanks, I’ll try to remember that,” Mr. Brunson said as he left quietly.
Jake shut the door and came back to his seat on the couch. He silently stared at the log cabin ceiling.
“So that’s what’s been bothering Mr. Brunson,” Hannah mused. “He often seemed sad.”
“I noticed too,” Jake said, offering nothing more.
“Is this why you want to stay here?” Hannah asked, the question crossing her mind suddenly.
“What do you mean?” Jake asked.
“Not move to Indiana?”
“I don’t understand.” Jake said.
“Is this what you mean by God wanting you here?”
“I don’t know. I just believe He does,” Jake said. “I can’t explain it.”
Hannah had no answer. She would have to trust Jake’s feelings, she supposed. She leaned against Jake’s shoulder, seeking shelter in this whirling world that now seemed to be her home. Outside the cabin the night settled in darker.
Twenty-seven
Although Hannah wasn’t looking forward to Thursday—and her doctor’s appointment—the day came soon enough. But she knew that if she was to continue having children as she hoped, doctors would have to be a part of her life.
Betty had said there was a midwife in Bonner’s Ferry who preferred to be contacted after a doctor was involved. She worked with doctors not against them, Betty had emphasized.
Jake needed Mosey to get to work, so Betty was to come over to drive her into Libby for the appointment.
Hannah tried to think of what questions the doctor might ask and prepare her answers. She had developed another bruising cold during the past few days, apparently a relapse of the one she just had. It took a puzzling form with no sniffles but pain in her neck. The thought of canceling the appointment had crossed her mind, but she thought better of it. She needed to keep this appointment. Having never been pregnant before, Hannah figured she likely had as many questions for the doctor as the doctor had for her.
Betty arrived a few minutes early, which didn’t surprise Hannah. She met her out by the driveway before Betty had time to tie up.
“Good morning,” Betty said cheerfully. “How’s the baby girl?”
“How do you know what it will be?” Hannah asked as she hopped into the buggy with a quick pull of her hands.
“I meant you, silly,” Betty replied.
“Well, my cold came back,” Hannah said.
“Do you think you should keep the appointment?” Betty questioned. “You look a bit poorly.”
“Yes, I want to go,” Hannah assured her. “I’ve got questions I want to ask.”
“That’s understandable.” Betty shook the reins. “You won’t have so many questions with the next baby. Is Jake pretty excited?”
“I think so, but he’s also busy working and being a minister.”
“You two do have your hands full.”
“Too full! I still think we should move back to Indiana.”
“You’ll be okay,” Betty said firmly.
The horse suddenly jerked his head into the air and shied sideways. Betty pulled sharply on the reins.
“What was that?” Hannah asked, looking back while Betty brought the horse back under control.
“Can you see anything?” Betty asked, too busy to look back herself.
“Just fence posts,” Hannah said, puzzled.
“He’s usually pretty good.” Betty relaxed as the horse settled down to a steady pace again. “Something must have gotten into him. Good thing nothing was coming,” Betty said and then turned around to look back. “One of those posts does look a little scary.”
“Maybe that’s what it was,” Hannah agreed.
“How’s Jake coming along with his job?” Betty asked, her hands firmly on the reins.
“Good, from what he says. Things are still a little tight money wise.”
“I suppose so. Remember to tell us if things get too bad. We can help out.”
“I don’t think I’d like that,” Hannah said.
“You’re family.” Betty gave her an admonishing look.
“Well, anyway—” Hannah left the subject there as the edge of town appeared. Her thoughts went to the doctor’s office ahead of them.
Several minutes later Hannah was ushered into the examining room while Betty stayed in the waiting room. A nurse came in almost immediately and took her weight and blood pressure and then withdrew a sample of blood for the lab work. She left with a cordial “Doctor Lisa will be right in.”
Hannah was pleased she didn’t have to wait long. The door opened, and Dr. Lisa greeted her warmly. She was a middle-aged woman, her skin brown and weather-streaked, not at all like Hannah had expected a woman doctor to look.
“So what will it be,” Dr. Lisa asked as she began her examination, “a boy or a girl?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Hannah said, drawing her breath sharply as the cold stethoscope touched her skin. Dr. Lisa listened intently and didn’t comment for a moment.
“That’s a good attitude to have,” she said. “You’re Amish?”
Hannah nodded.
“I thought so.” Then the doctor made some small talk as she continued the exam. “I’m a doctor part-time. My husband and I have a ranch up in the mountains that keeps me busy the rest of the time.”
So that explained the outdoor appearance, Hannah thought.
“I assume you’re looking for a midwife?” the doctor asked.
Hannah stiffened. She hadn’t anticipated this. “My aunt suggested it. Yes.”
“Most of the Amish do.” Dr. Lisa didn’t seem offended. “I’m starting a little birthing clinic right here at the office. Why don’t you let me see if I’m competitive with your midwife’s fees?”
“Oh,” Hannah said and let the delight show on her face. “I would like that. We can’t afford much, though.”
“We’ll see what we can do, then.” Dr. Lisa placed her hands on Hannah’s neck. “What have we here? Swollen glands?”
“It’s from a cold, I’m sure.”
Dr. Lisa looked skeptical. “No sniffles?”
Hannah shook her head.
“Where do you live?”
“Outside of town a few miles.”
“I mean—the kind of house?”
“A log cabin,” Hannah said.
“Are there animals around? Any cats?” Dr. Lisa’s hands went back to Hannah’s neck.
“Just the driving horse.”
“That’s all?”
Hannah nodded, sure the grizzly didn’t count.
“Have you been eating deer meat lately?” Dr. Lisa asked.
“Yes,” Hannah told her, but that shouldn’t be strange. It was hunting season.
“Much?”
“I suppose so. Jake and my uncle got a deer. We can’t afford a lot of other meat.”
“You’ve been cooking it well?”
“I thought so. Frying usually.”
“Let me take a look at that blood test,” Dr. Lisa said. “I’ll be right back.”
Hannah waited, fidgeting and ready to get back home and out of this place, but there was nothing she could do now but wait.
“Well,” Dr. Lisa said matter-of-factly when she came back, “I don’t like the looks of this.”
“Is something wrong?” Hannah asked with a sudden pang of fear.
“There might be. I’ll need to send the blood test to the lab in Kalispell for a confirmation.”
“What do you think it is?”
“It looks suspiciously like a toxoplasmosis infection—parasites. It usually happens when the meat is not fully cooked. You have the common symptoms, and you’ve been eating wild meat. It doesn’t happen too often and is usually not that serious. The body fights it by producing an antibody. But your pregnancy complicates things a bit.”
Parasites. Hannah shivered at the thought.
“I’ll know by tomorrow,” Dr. Lisa said. “Can you check back then?”
“My husband can.”
“I’ll give you a prescription. I want you to begin taking it right away.”
“Before we know for sure?”
“I’m sure enough,” Dr. Lisa said. “Thankfully you’re still in the early stages of your pregnancy.”
“Will this affect the baby?”
“Hopefully not. He—or she—is not likely to be infected. It seems early in the infection, plus as I said, you’re early yet. I’ll want an ultrasound too maybe in a few weeks.”
“Will that cost a lot?”
Dr. Lisa shrugged. “Maybe we can pass on the ultrasound. We’ll see. It’s not always conclusive anyway. I can do another type of test after you’re twenty weeks along. That one we can be sure of.”
“What if the baby does have the infection?” Hannah had to ask.
“Well, that’s not good,” she said simply. “There is always a chance of a miscarriage, but it doesn’t happen often. Another possibility is a normal birth with the possibility of problems later.”
“What kind of problems?”
“I don’t want you to dwell on something that’s not likely to happen. But I also want you to be informed. In some cases, there is the potential for an eventual mental disability, vision loss, possibly even seizures.”
Hannah didn’t take this well. The sudden news hit her hard.
Dr. Lisa put an arm on her shoulder. “But please remember, that’s only in a small percentage of cases. Let’s not borrow trouble.”
“It’s just so hard,” Hannah said, referring to more than just the baby. Why this now—on top of everything else?
“I’m sorry, but I really do think it’s best you know the possibilities as soon as possible. But remember it’s not likely. It’s only a possibility we have to consider.”
When Hannah seemed to have calmed herself, Dr. Lisa gave her a quick hug and said, “You can get dressed now. The prescription will be at the front desk. Have it filled and start taking it right away.”
“I will,” Hannah said, her voice trembling.
“And don’t worry,” the doctor said. “We’re going to assume the best.”
A few minutes later, Hannah came into the waiting room, her eyes still red. She controlled herself while writing the check for the receptionist and accepting the prescription. But once outside in the buggy with Betty, she no longer held back her emotions and sobbed openly.
Betty held Hannah close, not asking any questions. The horse waited at the post.
“There, there,” Betty said gently. “The Lord must really have it in for you two. Is something wrong with the baby?”
“It’s not for sure,” Hannah managed before she burst into fresh tears. “It’s not just the baby. It’s everything. Jake and the ordination—he’s so strange now. Now I have horrible parasites.”
“Parasites?” Betty asked.
“Yes,” Hannah choked, “from that deer meat we’ve been eating. I was trying so hard to save money. Jake was too. Now we might have harmed our baby.”
“You sure you know what you’re talking about?”
Hannah nodded.
“Did the doctor give you any information on these parasites?”
“She told me about them, that’s all, and gave me a prescription,” Hannah said.
“I’ll be right back,” Betty said and stepped down from the buggy.
To Hannah it seemed she had been sitting there in the cold alone a long time. She was beginning to think she should go inside when Betty returned.
“They gave me this,” Betty said, waving some papers around. “It doesn’t look good.”
Hannah sank back into the buggy seat.
“We should go tell Jake about this,” Betty said.
“No,” Hannah said, “he has work to do. I don’t like going into that hardware store anyway.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Betty agreed. “Let’s get your medicine, then.”
“That’s going to cost more money,” Hannah groaned. “I can’t believe this.”
“Believe it,” Betty said. “It’s part of life. Just remember the church is here to help you.”
“Jake’s a minister,” Hannah said with no idea why she said that. The thought just pushed into her mind.
“See,” Betty said as if the words made perfect sense. “All the more reason.”
They drove toward the drugstore on the main street, the sound of the horse’s hooves cutting like knives through Hannah’s emotions. She let the tears come freely.
Twenty-eight
When Jake arrived home, he found Hannah still weeping on the couch. Clutched in her hand were the crumpled papers Betty had gotten from the doctor’s office. She waved the pages weakly in Jake’s direction.
Jake took them but didn’t read anything. Instead he sat down and drew Hannah close. “What’s wrong?” he asked. He smelled of wood shavings and winter air.
“The doctor said what I thought was a cold is really an infection caused by parasites, likely from the deer meat.” Hannah sat upright. “These papers have information about them. If the baby is infected, it could mean…”
Hannah didn’t finish. Jake glanced briefly at the papers, and then his eyes focused on hers again. “What about you?”
“I’ll be okay,” she said. “Just the baby’s in danger.”
“We’d better stop eating the meat, then,” he said.
She shook her head. “I think the meat wasn’t cooked enough. If I had cooked it longer, this might not have happened.”
“So what do we do?”
“I have medicine here.” She pointed toward the desk. “It cost too much.”
Jake lifted the pages in his hand and scanned them for a few minutes. “We had better pray,” he said softly.
Hannah felt hopelessness run through her. “I’m infected already.”
“The baby isn’t.”
“How do you know?” She looked him in the face, searching for an answer that wasn’t there. Feelings of despair and hope mingled together inside of her.
“I don’t,” he said. “Only God does.”
“Why is all this happening to us? Does God mean for this to happen?”
“He knows our needs. He’ll take care of us,” Jake said.
Outside it had begun snowing, but neither of them noticed.
“I have to get supper,” Hannah suddenly remembered. “But what? Can we still eat the deer meat?”
“What did the doctor say?”
“Nothing other than the infection was likely caused by the meat being undercooked.”
“Steve and Betty didn’t get infected, so she must have cooked it thoroughly. I wonder why I’m not sick?”
Hannah was ashamed to admit she had never even thought of Jake eating the same meat. “Maybe you just don’t have the symptoms yet.”
“Well, I know one thing. We can’t be afraid. And it says right here that the infection, once treated, is unlikely to return. I think we’ll be okay if you just make sure the meat is cooked thoroughly.
“I’ll burn it black,” she said half in jest.
He smiled and said, “I don’t think I could eat any tonight anyway. Just do what you think best.”
“I’ll make soup.” She made her way slowly to the kitchen. Jake picked up the Family Life and settled into his chair.
Hannah noticed the snow through the kitchen window. It was coming down in large flakes that drifted close to the glass pane. So like life, she thought, lovely and light till you handle it. Then it leaves you cold inside. I must be cried out, she
thought as she prepared the soup.
Less than an hour later, Jake said a simple prayer as they bowed their heads before eating. He asked God to help them and give them grace for the trials of life and light from His Word to guide the way. He so tenderly asked for protection for the baby that it seemed he already held it in his arms.
When he was finished, Hannah knew there were tears still left in her after all because they rolled freely down her cheeks. Jake noticed, touched her arm from across the table, and waited until she calmed down before he dished out his soup.
“It’s snowing,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I know,” she replied. “It looks serious.”
“God will protect us,” Jake said calmly. “It will soon be Christmas.”
“What has that got to do with it?” She looked at him, puzzled.
“That’s when the Christ child came—in the manger.”
Hannah waited and wondered what Jake meant.
“The angels came close to earth that night. Maybe they come near every Christmas.”
Hannah glanced sharply at him. He was changing faster than she could keep track of. If he could say things like this, it was no wonder he could preach well on Sundays. But did he mean it?
“Do you really think so?” she asked. “His angels will protect us?”
“I don’t know.” Jake glanced over at the window. “If they do, perhaps they will protect our child. It’s not in a real manger, but it’s in a sort of manger.”
“It’s just our baby,” she said. “It’s not the same as the birth of Jesus.”
“Maybe to God it’s enough,” he said. “He has cared for little children all along, has He not?”
“You must be careful about what you say,” she warned, the emotion strong in her voice.
Jake didn’t seem to mind. “I know,” he said, nodding slowly.
“You must be careful too with your preaching,” she told him. “Remember the bishop’s visit.”
“Yes,” he said, “it’s still the will of God in everything. I know that.”
“What if the baby is born with the infection?” Hannah asked. “Is that the will of God too?”
A Hope for Hannah (Hannah's Heart 2) Page 17
