by Kitty Parker
Daisy nods and guzzles down more water and Annette smiles, unlocking the door. It's a cool day but the oven in the back is making it a bit warm inside so she leaves the door open.
And with that, Daisy's Bakery is open for business.
…
Okay, so maybe her mom isn't just being optimistic. Maybe Annette had been able to look into the future and know that Daisy would need her help today.
There has been a steady stream of customers since 10:05 and Daisy just wants to sigh with relief and cry with that same relief. But there's really no time to do either because it's almost one and she's already sold out of her dark chocolate cherry cupcakes. It's her first day and she's already learned that many of the other businesses in their town have noon lunch hours and that is when she got her most customers. She has also learned that there are many chocolate addicts in their town.
She's already making adjustments in her head of which cupcakes to bake for tomorrow.
At a few minutes to one, two more people enter the shop, getting in line behind the three people already waiting to get their cupcakes. And when Daisy sees that it is Jack and Cesar, she bursts into an immediate smile.
"Alright, let's see what we got here," Cesar says as he looks through the glass of the case.
She has decided on baking just six kinds of cupcakes. She knows it's not a lot but she thinks that she can easily handle making just six different kinds of cupcakes. It's just her here and it's a tiny cupcake shop. Maybe in a few years, if she has enough money to hire someone else… but that's a very long way down the road and right now, she can handle six kinds.
Cesar orders one of the lemon zest cupcakes and Annette rings it up for him.
"I know what you want," Daisy then smiles at Jack when it's his turn before he can even open his mouth and she's pulling a banana cupcake from the case, holding it out to him.
And when he smiles at her, she thinks about how she told him that she loves him. She had kind of said that to him when he was sick and she had brought him soup but she had said falling in love. And then he brought her the sign for his bakery that he had built himself and she knew right then that she had, without a doubt, completely fallen for him.
She knows he doesn't understand it and she supposes she doesn't really understand either.
This past year, he has definitely had fewer hits than misses. She has been hurt by him and has shed more than one tear for him. But she has forgiven him. She has been able to see past all of his faults and mistakes and has forgiven him – because that's what someone does. It takes so much more energy to be angry at a person and hate that person and she didn't want to be angry at Jack or hate him.
She read a quote once and it has always stayed with her.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person.
And she'll tell that to Jack if he ever asks.
…
It's the last game of the regular season and it's absolutely no surprise when the Gators win and they make it into the playoffs with a record of 9-1.
T-Dog rewards them with a pizza party at his house for all of the players and their families on Sunday afternoon. One of the moms corners Daisy in the kitchen as she's just trying to get another slice of pizza and she's talking about their first playoff game and the next season and if she thinks Matty will play next year, too, and he should because Daisy doesn't want to just put Matty's talent to waste and yes, it's always scary when their child gets injured but if they didn't want to be bruised, they could play a different game. And the woman is talking so quickly and not giving Daisy enough time to respond anything she's saying so all Daisy can do is just stand there, holding her still-empty plate awaiting a slice of pizza and trying to keep her patience.
From the corner of her eye, she can see Jack standing off in the family room, drinking from a can of Coke and talking with Shawn and Johnathan. She wishes she could just get her piece of pizza and join them but her son is the starring running back and she knows that that comes with certain responsibilities but at the same time, this is all still crazy to her. But she bites her tongue and smiles because Matty loves football. Matty is a football player and she is the mother of a football player and this is what mothers of football players do.
"We actually haven't talked about next season," Daisy is finally able to get in.
"Oh, but you have to!" The mom exclaims as if she is absolutely horrified by Daisy's words.
Daisy just shakes her head though. "I think Matty is looking forward to the off season. He loves football but I think he'll be glad to get a little break from it, too."
And if possible, the woman somehow looks even more horrified at that next statement.
"Well, what does his father think about it?" The woman asks.
Daisy's brow furrows and the image of Jimmy enters her mind. What would he ever have to do with anything that has to do with Matty?
But then it strikes her. The woman's not talking about Jimmy.
…
"You a'right?" Jack asks her that night as he sits down on the edge of the bed, pulling off his boots and she can feel his eyes on her.
It's not even discussed anymore whether or not he's sleeping over. Daisy has wondered if they'll have the conversation as to why he's still paying rent on his own apartment that he's never in anymore – even Morris is here more times than not – but they're still not doing anything other than sharing a bed. It's way too soon to even mention living together.
Daisy nods her head, standing at the dresser, looking at her reflection as she takes her braid down, running her fingers through her hair.
She is alright. That's the truth. It's just what that woman had said about Matty's dad.
It's been months since she and Jimmy have met in a courtroom and Jimmy signed his name on the dotted line, thus erasing any involvement or responsibility he may have had for the child he had helped in making. And Matty hasn't asked about him once. And that makes Daisy down if she stops and thinks about it. Her son is only seven but he's just so used to his dad not being around that when Jimmy really isn't around anymore, Matty doesn't see a difference and doesn't ask where he is.
Daisy has defended Jimmy over the past few years because her relationship with Matty was always so completely different. Daisy stayed behind and Jimmy had gone off to college and would only see their baby on breaks. She always thought that Jimmy and Matty had never gotten a real chance to bond with one another and Jimmy was still learning how to be a dad. It was only when Matty was a bit older did she realize that Jimmy didn't want to bond and he didn't want to learn how to be a dad – at least not to their child.
Or maybe he did want to do all of those things but had let his wife influence him to deny anything in his past – whether that be her or their son. And she doesn't really want a man so weak and who can't think for himself like that around her son.
But because of that – because of the absence of a father in Matty's life, even with her daddy and Shawn and Nathaniel – has she somehow, subconsciously, pressured Jack into becoming that? He cares about both of them. That man makes it obvious. And he also has shown to her that if he didn't want to be here, he wouldn't. He would just disappear again and stop showing himself up around here. But he hasn't left in months now and it seems like he's not going to and Daisy trusts him and Matty adores him and… and… she's just so confused.
"Wha's goin' on?" Jack asks because he's not an idiot and something obviously is going on whether she shakes her head that there is or not.
Daisy lets out a soft sigh and finally turns away from the dresser and looks at him. He's looking at her and his eyes are a dark blue as he looks at her intently. After a moment of lingering, she comes and sits down beside him on the side of the bed and lifts her eyes to his. She opens her mouth to ask him – ask him what? If he's really here? He is but she wonders for how long? How long will he have to stay around before he has proven to her that he's not going anywhere? And why shouldn't he be able to go
if that's what he wants? They've decided they're boyfriend and girlfriend and he sleeps over but other than that…
"When it comes to me and Matty, I have huge trust issues," Daisy hears herself tell him.
Jack just keeps looking at her. "A'right," he says and waits for more.
"Especially with Matty. I just can't let anyone come into his life…" she trails off then because she has no idea what she's saying or what she's even trying to say.
She knows what she wants to hear but Jack isn't a mind reader and she can't imagine him knowing what she needs to hear from him. He cares about her but caring isn't love and maybe he'll never love her. She realizes there's still so many things she doesn't know about him. How can she fall in love with a man if she doesn't even really know him? Has she just rushed into something without thinking it all of the way through? She's such a terrible mom because it's not about her or her happiness anymore. It's always about Matty and she's brought this man into her son's life without thinking it through completely.
She's starting to give herself a headache.
She feels warm weight on her thigh and she looks down to see Jack's hand resting there. She then lifts her eyes to see him staring right at her.
"I ain't plannin' on goin' anywhere, Daisy," Jack tells her. "Nowhere until you kick me out."
And Daisy stares at him because maybe he can read minds.
She turns towards him and sliding her hands onto his face, she presses her lips to his.
…
This isn't a dream.
They are really lying in bed and he's on top of her and they're kissing one another over and over again and her lungs are burning and she knows that his probably are, too, but they can't seem to pull their lips from the other.
And right now, it's kissing. Just kissing. All of their clothes are still on but her hands have dropped down to his hips, tempted to slip them up under the tee-shirt he's wearing. And his own hand is heavy and warm on the outside of her thigh, grasping it just enough to perhaps leave bruises of his fingertips in her pale skin.
She arches slightly and moans faintly against his mouth as her lips part and his tongue sweeps in, meeting hers, tangling with hers. One of her hands lift to the back of his head, grasping his hair, holding him to her as if he's even thought of taking his lips away from her. And it definitely doesn't seem as if Jack is thinking of doing such a thing because he kisses her only harder and he presses his hips down to hers and she moans again because through his boxer shorts, he's so hard and she can feel him.
Her legs begin to part on their own accord and she arches upwards again, pressing herself against him, making contact, feeling herself clench and dampen with growing anticipation.
His hand begins moving upwards on her thigh, pushing her tee-shirt up towards her hips as he goes, and her hand still on his hip sweeps under his tee-shit. She feels a slight raise of skin on his lower back and it's as if she's just dropped water over for him because Jack rips his lips away from hers and pushes himself up on his knees. She instantly sits up because she's not sure what has happened or what she's felt on his back but she instantly regrets it because whatever it is, he can't seem to even look at her anymore.
"I'm sorry," she is quick to say. "Jack, I'm so sorry."
Both of their chests heave up and down, trying to catch their breaths, and just seconds ago, he had been throwing her into an inferno, but now she's so cold, she nearly shivers.
He lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head, still not looking at her.
"Jack…" she reaches a hand out for him and she's so relieved when he lets her touch him. She gently takes his hand and rubs her thumb over his skin and keeps looking at him, willing him to look at her in return. "I'm so sorry," she says again in a quieter voice than before and she sits up on her knees, too, trying desperately to meet his eyes.
He sighs again and finally lifts his head just enough to look at her through the hair hanging in his face. "Think I wanna go to sleep," he mumbles.
"Alright," she says softly and she doesn't want to go to sleep at all. She wants to talk about whatever it is that's upsetting him so much – or try and talk with him about it – but he's clamped up and she knows that there's no way she'll be able to get to him again.
She stares at him with a heavy stone in her stomach as he pushes himself from the bed.
"Think I'm gonna sleep back in my place tonight," he says as he's already picking his clothes up from where he folds them every other night and places them on the chair in the corner.
"Please, Jack," she shakes her head with tears in her eyes as she stands up from the bed, too, never taking her eyes from him. "Please don't go."
He has just promised her that he wouldn't be going anywhere.
But Jack doesn't stop himself from continuing getting dressed and he pauses at the door, hand on the doorknob, looking back to her. He looks regretful for what he's doing but he doesn't stop himself from opening the door.
"I'll see 'ya tomorrow," he then promises her and then he's gone and Daisy has no idea what has just happened or why he's felt the need to leave but all she knows is that she feels like crying and she hopes that she really will see him tomorrow.
…
She doesn't.
Monday goes by and no sign of him. He doesn't come by the bakery at all during the day and when she knocks on his door in the evening to invite him to dinner, hoping and praying that he's there, there's no answer and she goes back into her apartment with a heavy stomach and aching chest.
It's just like how it used to be. This is what she's been afraid of. That one day, he'll just decide to be gone and that will be that. And even though she's told herself to expect something like this from him eventually, it doesn't stop her from crying into her pillow that night when she's lying in her bed. Alone.
Halfway through the night, she's still awake and she's stopped crying now but she's still sniffling occasionally and when she hears the creak of the door as it's pushed open, she instantly turns her head, expecting to see Jack. Instead, it's Matty standing there.
"What's the matter, baby?" She asks, all thoughts of Jack instantly pushed from her head.
"You're crying," Matty says and he's standing there, frowning at her.
Daisy shakes her head and wipes at her cheeks as she pushes herself into a sitting position.
"I'm alright. I just had a bad dream," she does her best to smile at him.
And her son's not an idiot and he knows. Even without knowing every single detail, he still knows. Something happened and Jack's not here tonight and he's made the connection.
Matty doesn't say anything as he leaves the doorway and comes to the bed, pulling the covers back and climbing in beside her. Daisy smiles faintly because he hasn't done this for a couple of years, coming running to her if there was a storm outside or he had a bad dream, wanting the protection of his mama and her comfy, cozy bed.
They lay down and he snuggles in close and Daisy holds him tightly.
For a few minutes, Daisy hums a soft song and brushes her fingers through his hair.
"Is Jack coming back?" Matty then asks in a quiet voice.
And suddenly, her desire to just lay there and cry is wiped away and she's suddenly angry. Angry at Jack for just leaving and not coming back; for not talking with her and telling her what was wrong enough to get him to leave in the first place. Angry because Matty's asking for him and he hasn't even asked for his own father when Jimmy had just disappeared.
And angry at herself. So angry at herself for just letting this man into their lives.
"I don't know, Matty," she responds in an equally quiet voice.
She doesn't expect him to – but she doesn't tell Matty that.
…
Thursdays, she's learned, are a bit slow for some reason but she doesn't mind. It lets her catch her breath and spend her day with more time to bake in preparation for Friday – her busiest day of the week.
She's in the back kitchen, pulling a tray of fresh
baked vanilla cupcakes from the oven, when the bell above the door tinkles and she instantly turns her head to see who it is, hating herself a little bit when she gets her hopes up and expects it to be Jack.
But it's not. It's Adam.
She smiles as she wipes her hand on her apron and leaving the tray on the counter to cool for a moment, she comes towards the front of the shop. "Hi, Adam," she greets the man as he stands there in his deputy's uniform. She's surprised to see him there without Casey. The two have made a habit of coming in at least twice a week while out on patrol.
"Hey, Daisy," Adam says with a little smile. "Wanted to pick up some cupcakes. Take 'em over to the shelter for Tana and the others there. We broke up a fighting ring a couple of days ago and Tana's got the surviving pits there and they're probably gonna have to put most of 'em down. They're all pretty down 'bout it."
"I read about that," Daisy murmurs. "How many were you thinking?"
"A dozen," Adam answers and Daisy gets the appropriate box, folding it open. "Casey's there now with her and he said that your cherry chocolate ones always get Tana smilin'."
Daisy smiles a little at that and promptly puts four of the cupcakes into the box. Adam then fills in the remaining eight spots in the box and he moves over to the cash register as Daisy securely tapes the box shut and rings him up.
"How many pit bulls are at the shelter now?" Daisy asks as she swipes Adam's credit card.
"Seven," he answers as he signs the screen. "Some are pretty torn up. Don't see anyone wantin' a pit bull from a fighting ring. "
"And when are they going to be…" Daisy can't finish the question as her mind starts racing and Adam looks at her because maybe he knows what she's thinking, too.
"Prob'ly on Monday. Give 'em one more weekend," he answers.
Daisy nods and Adam takes the box, opening the door but stopping before he can leave.
"See you later?" He then asks.
Daisy instantly nods once more. "After school," she promises and Adam gives her a smile before he leaves and Daisy instantly turns and picks up the phone to call Axel to talk with him about allowing a dog in the building.
