Somehow I ended up at the high school football field. I climbed the steps in the stadium up to the very top and stared down at the dark field. There were a lot of good memories associated with this place. They rolled through my head like a Powerpoint display.
I wanted to talk to Ivy so bad I ached. Somehow I knew she could make sense of my confusion. Ivy, better than anyone, understood the pressure I felt to succeed. I tried to imagine the sound of her voice, but instead, the image of her tipped over in the back of Mira’s orange VW giggling her head off interrupted my thoughts.
I tried to remember what she’d said to me in the music room, the last time I’d seen her. Right before she’d kissed me. But the memory of her lips against mine and the sweet smell of plumeria filled my head instead. I wondered if things had improved between her and Mira.
I pulled out my phone and punched in her number. The telephone pad on the screen of my iphone glowed green with her numbers highlighted at the top. Would she pick up if I called? I wanted to talk to her so badly. My heart gave a nervous thump in my chest. Only one way to find out. I jabbed the ‘call’ button and put the phone to my ear. I slid my other hand into my pocket, and stamped my feet to get warm, my breath puffing out in a frosty cloud.
“Please pick up, Ivy,” I whispered. “Please.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ivy
I stared at the phone as it buzzed in my hand. There was one letter in the contact name area: Q. My fingers tightened on the edges. He was so close. It was like I could touch him through the phone. My heart pounded. How I wanted to hear his voice. To ask him what was happening between us?
But I sent the call to voicemail and turned my phone off.
I was awake for a long time thinking about what Tuan had said.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Kellen
On New Year’s Eve Ollie and CJ picked me up and insisted that I had to go to a party that Jake Bellarmine was having. I really wasn’t in the mood, but I wasn’t in the mood to stay home either.
There’d been no further discussion of me playing college football. By the time I came home that night of the fight I was too exhausted to think about it anymore and had just gone to my room. Ivy never responded to my call.
“DO YOU GUYS ever think about what you’d do if you didn’t play ball?” I asked. We were in Ollie’s truck headed for the party. They were passing shots from a Cuervo bottle ‘hidden’ inside a brown paper bag. Like that’d fool the cops if we got pulled over.
“Not play ball?” CJ glanced at me with a confused look. “Why in the hell, would we ever think about that?” He nudged Olli’s arm. “Life is all about playing ball, if you get my meaning.”
Ollie laughed and raised the brown bag. “Amen, brother.”
I felt like saying ‘and look where that got you,’ but I didn’t. I leaned forward so I could see both of them at once. “No, I’m serious. Are you loading all your bets up on that one thing and just letting it ride?” I thumped back against the seat, and rested my elbow on the window frame. “What if you get cut? What if you get injured? Don’t you think you should have a plan B?”
I wasn’t sure why I was asking because I knew both Ollie and CJ didn’t have a plan B. They’d been all about football forever. Just like me.
“We just got to make it to the big dance, baby, and we’ve got it made,” CJ said. “The good life is waitin’ for us.”
Ollie could tell something was buggin’ me. He leaned over his steering wheel to see me. “Why you asking, Kell?”
I hesitated for just a second, almost afraid to say it out loud. But I pushed the words out of my mouth. “Because there’s part of me that thinks maybe the Homecoming game was my last dance.”
JAKE LIVED IN a big house not far from Springwood. The party was rockin’ by the time we got there. Apparently Jake’s parents were in Seattle for a wedding reception and were spending the night there. When we drove up the driveway was full and cars lined both sides of the street. It looked like every light in the house was on.
“Don’t park too close,” I warned. “This place is just beg-gin’ to get busted.”
Ollie parked about a block away on a side street. That way if we had to run for it, we could disappear through the yard and get away without his truck being seen. CJ tucked the brown bag in his back pocket as we walked up to the front porch.
From outside, the music wasn’t too loud, but when they opened the front door, it poured out in a wave of sound. CJ was in the lead, then Ollie, then me. Even as I walked in the door, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there.
I leaned forward and yelled in Ollie’s ear, “Where’s Jazzy?”
“She’s at home. They’ve got family there all week. Plus—you know.” He kind of shrugged. “She’d be pissed if she knew I was here.”
“Kellen! Ollie! Over here.”
I raised my hand at a couple of teammates who greeted me from the far side of the room. “When are you going to tell your parents?”
Ollie shrugged. “Soon. I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?”
“Sure. I don’t blame you.” And I didn’t. What a thing to have hanging over your head.
IT WAS FUN to be out with my friends, after all. After my accident it seemed like I’d lost my old life in the blink of an eye. Ever since then, I’d been hiding, trying to get better, trying to catch up in my studies—trying to figure out how to find myself again.
Suddenly, here I was.
I’d grown up with a lot of these kids since grade school and everybody seemed glad to see me. A number of the girls gave me the impression they’d be more than friends if I was interested. I was chatting with Caroline Bennett and Hailey Swenson when somebody came up from behind and wrapped their arms around my waist. A soft chest pressed into my back.
“Hi Kellen,” a sexy voice whispered in my ear.
Caroline rolled her eyes with an annoyed expression and Hailey looked at the person behind me then at me, as if waiting for a reaction. There was no question whose voice it was: Laurel’s.
I disentangled her arms from around my waist and took a step away before I turned to face her.
“Hey Laurel.” Mr. Super-Casual. No letting on how much it’d hurt when she’d dumped me last fall. I held a red plastic cup in my left hand and slid my other hand—my bad hand—into the pocket of my Levi’s.
“You look good, Kellen.” She traced her finger down my chest, her hips too close to mine.
She looked good. Her pale blond hair was down tonight and she wore a tight black V-neck sweater that prominently displayed her ample cleavage. Her jeans were low and tight and part of her flat stomach peeked out when she raised her cup to drink. Even in December she was tan. All over, from the looks of it. A few memories flashed before my eyes—half-dressed memories—and I took another step back.
“I didn’t know you two were still friends,” Hailey said to me.
“Me either.” Caroline looked angry as she took a drink. “Where’s Josh, Laurel?” she snapped. I wondered what was up with that. Caroline and Laurel used to be best friends.
“Didn’t you hear?” Laurel tilted her head up to look at me as she answered Caroline’s question. I could tell she was drunk. “Josh and I broke up. He’s a free agent now.” She wavered on her feet as she gave me a seductive smile. “And so am I.” She staggered a step back and looked down her nose at Caroline. “Why don’t you go check him out—you might have a chance now.”
“No thanks, Laurel,” Caroline sneered. “He’s more your type than mine.” She barely gave me a glance. “See you later, Kellen,” she said as she walked away. I sensed she’d just insulted both Laurel and Josh but I hadn’t exactly followed the thread. Girl fights were strange and dangerous things and usually never about what was actually being said.
After Caroline departed, Hailey didn’t stay long. She mumbled something about finding more beer and wandered off, leaving Laurel and I semi-alone. I took a drink and looked across the room. Ollie and C
J were standing together in an opposite corner, both watching me. CJ gave me a thumbs up and grinned as he did a little hip thrust, but Ollie dropped his gaze to Laurel then looked back at me and raised his eyebrows.
I shook my head. Been there, done that. Not going back again.
“I’ve mistyou, Kellen,” Laurel said, sliding her words together. “You look s’good. Are you all well?” She threaded a finger through my belt loop and tried to pull my hips toward hers. “Y’know—well enough?”
For a half a second I was tempted. She was damn good-looking. But she wasn’t the same Laurel I’d started dating a year ago. She’d changed and God knows I’d changed. As CJ had called it at the game, somewhere along the line she’d become a definite skank. Maybe she always had been and I’d never looked past her beauty. I thought of Ivy and what a completely different class of person she was. Thank God I’d elevated my standards.
I smiled. “I’m doing great, Laurel. Thanks for asking—finally.” It took a moment for my sarcasm to sink in. Her face shifted from the sexy tease to guilty surprise with a side of too much innocence.
“What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll see you around, Laurel.” As I walked away I heard her whimper behind me.
“But Kellen—wait—”
But I didn’t wait. And I didn’t look back. It felt good to close the door on that one. Ollie wanted to leave around 11:30 so he could call Jazzy at midnight. By then, I was ready to go too. I still fatigued easier than I used to, and I really wasn’t into drinking anymore. My head was messed up enough as it was.
CJ said he’d catch a ride with a couple of the other guys, so Ollie and I took off.
“Did you tell Laurel to piss off?” Ollie asked as he pulled away from the curb.
I laughed. “Hopefully with a little more class than that, but basically yeah.”
“Good.” He sounded pleased. “After what she did to you, she deserves it.”
I sensed more behind his comment than the obvious. “What do you mean?”
He looked over at me in surprise, like he realized he’d said more than he should. Then he shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t matter now, but she was bangin’ Josh behind your back while you were in the hospital.”
Even though I didn’t care, something twisted in my stomach and made me feel slightly sick. I guess betrayal is always bad, whether you think you care or not.
“But the best part of that —” Ollie continued, “is that Josh has been cheating with Cindy Morris behind Laurel’s back and just dumped Laurel.” Ollie laughed out loud. “What goes around, comes around, brother.”
Suddenly Caroline’s comments were starting to make more sense. I laughed. “Just keep her away from me.”
Ollie’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his coat pocket while he held the steering wheel with one knee and started texting a reply.
We swerved sharply to the left and crossed the centerline.
“Ollie!” I barked at him.
He caught the wheel and jerked back into the other lane, over-correcting. Gravel spun out from the right side of the road as we swerved back into our lane.
“Holy shit!” I cried, gripping my arm rest and the dashboard. I sure as hell didn’t need to get in a car wreck.
“Sorry man. Usually I can do that and text just fine,” he laughed. “I guess I had more of that Cuervo than I realized.”
“Just don’t do it while you’re driving.” I sounded pissed, but he’d scared me.
“Yeah, yeah.” He grinned at me and slid his phone back in his pocket. “Guess what?”
“What?” I was watching the road, suddenly wondering how messed up Ollie was.
“I’m going to ask Jazzy to marry me.”
I jerked my head over to stare at him. “What?”
“Hey, I’m gonna have a kid. He needs to grow up in a proper family. I love her an’ I’m gonna do right by her.”
“Well, that’s awesome, Ollie.” I slapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations. Jazzy couldn’t ask for a better guy.”
“Yeah, I know.” He grinned as he pulled into my driveway. “Good luck with the tutor, bro. Why don’t you send her a midnight text? They love that romantic shit.”
I TOOK OLLIE’S advice and texted Ivy right at the stroke of twelve. I didn’t expect a reply but I was glad that she knew I was missing her. I was so ready for her to come home.
AT TWO O’CLOCK my phone buzzed me awake. I squinted at the green numbers on my clock. Man, who was calling me at this hour? I grabbed my cell and looked at the screen. A picture of Laurel from last summer, bent forward to reveal her cleavage while she blew me a kiss, stared back at me. What the hell did she want?
I stared at the picture for another second before I sent the call to voicemail and set my phone back on the nightstand. I rolled over and pulled a pillow over my head. I didn’t even want to know what she wanted. One minute later my phone started ringing again. I snatched it up: Laurel again. Still blowing me kisses.
I groaned and punched the answer button. “What?” I sounded groggy.
“Kellen, I need shoo.” She was so drunk I could barely understand her. “The cops came an’ bushted the party an’ it wash crazy. We ran an’—” she burped in my ear.
“Whoa, slow down, Laurel. First off, where are you?”
“I’m right outshide your window.”
“What?!” I jumped to my feet and ran to the window. I jerked the curtains aside and looked down in the yard. The light from the streetlamp illuminated enough of our yard to see through the murky shadows. Sure enough, Laurel was lying flat on her back on the grass looking up at my window. She waved when she saw me.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered as I pulled a pair of jeans on. It had to be in the 40’s outside and she didn’t even have a coat on. “Don’t move,” I barked into the phone.
“Okay Shellen.” She giggled drunkenly into the phone. “I mean Kellen.”
I debated whether to wake my parents as I hop-skipped down the stairs. It was two in the morning – better not. I was just shoving my feet into a pair of boots when my mom called from upstairs.
“Kellen, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me, Mom.” Now was one of those times when honesty was the best policy. “Laurel’s outside drunk. I’m going to take her home.” I yanked my ski coat on.
There was a moment of silence. “Do you need help?”
“No, I got it covered, Mom. Go back to bed. I’ll be back in a few.”
“Be careful.”
I RAN THROUGH THE GARAGE and out through the side door. I kept my truck parked outside so at least I could pour Laurel directly into it without having to try and navigate the garage. I could see her still lying in the same place on the grass. I ran up. “Laurel, get up. I’ll take you home.”
“Shelley.” She had one eye closed and her teeth were chattering. “Everything is spinning. I feel sick.”
I rolled my head back and exhaled a cloud of white as I stared at the sky. Why me? I bent down and slid an arm under Laurel’s shoulders. She was ice-cold. “Sit up.” I propped her into a sitting position intending to take my coat off, but as soon as I let go of her she flopped back down like she was Gumby or something.
I yanked my coat off and wrapped it around her, then hefted her up into my arms and hurried to my truck. Thank God my right arm was so much better. I braced one leg on the tire and supported Laurel on my lap as I dug the keys out of my pocket. She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I…I l…love you, Kellen.” Her teeth were still chattering. “I..I alwaysh h…have. I just din’t know what to do when you were hurt.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
I flipped the unlock button and managed to pull the door open and heave her inside. I didn’t even bother with the seat-belt. She was so wasted, if we crashed, I was pretty sure she’d just bounce anyway.
I ran around to the other side, hopped in and gunned the engine. We hadn’t even got to the end of the street before Laurel
puked in my truck.
I’LL NEVER FORGET the look on Mr. Simmons face when he opened the door at 2:30 in the morning and I was standing there supporting his shit-faced daughter. Even though I wasn’t guilty of anything but trying to help, my heart was racing like a sprint car as he opened the door.
“Good evening, sir.” I was talking fast—trying to explain before he made the wrong assumption. “Laurel showed up at my house a few minutes ago and needed a ride. She doesn’t seem to be feeling well.” I looked down at the obviously drunk girl slumped in my arms. “And I loaned her my coat.” Jesus. “I’m just trying to help her, sir,” I added hurriedly.
A string of unintelligible words poured out of Laurel’s mouth as she peered up at her father. Her lipstick was smeared, her hair was a mess, beneath my coat her clothes were askew and she smelled like vomit. I didn’t even want to think about what the inside of my truck smelled like.
About a million expressions went across Mr. Simmons face in the ten seconds it took him to assess the situation. Then he put his arm around his daughter and helped her into the house. “Thank you, Kellen.” It was all he said before he shut the door in my face.
I stared at the closed door, thinking about how odd life was. “Happy New Year, sir.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ivy
I GOT A TEXT from Brandon a couple of days after Christmas.
Hi Ivy. How’s the Big Apple? I heard there’s a ton of snow. Hope you’re having fun. I don’t want you to feel bad about breaking up. We’re better as friends anyway. See you when you get back. BC.
I cried when I read his message. I never used to cry. Now I cry about everything. What is wrong with me? It was just that he knew me so well. It seems like we should have been a perfect couple, but it was more like he was my other brother. I always knew we were too much alike. Maybe Brandon liked someone else too. I hoped so. At least he didn’t hate me. I was pathetically grateful.
The Last Dance Page 14
