by K E Osborn
She cocks her head to the side with a half-smile. “Wasn’t expecting that. More of a horror or thriller or maybe a comedy, but definitely wasn’t expecting Disney… from you.”
Grinning, I shrug. “I’m full of surprises. Plus, I like the message of never give up in it. I kinda live by Dory’s motto of Just Keep Swimming, it helps me survive in this world.”
She frowns and pats my shoulder. “There’s so much to you Nate Levine that’s deeper than people know. I wish they saw you how I see you.”
Tilting my head, I furrow my brows. “How do you see me?”
“As a broken but kind man that everyone steps on. And you let them because deep down you feel like you’re not worthy.”
Shifting uncomfortably, I swallow hard. “You got all that by looking at me?”
“I see a lot of the old me in you, Nate. You’re worth more than you think you are.”
I scoff. “I’m just your typical dumbass drummer.”
“No! You’re a passionate artist who has no sense of self-worth. I’m going to change that. Show everyone how worthy you are.”
I exhale. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Like I said… I see my old self in you. Before Ria… became Zaria. You’re a decent man and I want people to see you for you.”
“Why don’t you let people see you for you?”
“As in Ria not Zaria?” I nod and she sighs. “Because of Patrick, my stepdad. He taught me to be Zaria and I owe him so much… my whole career basically. I feel like if I stop being Zaria, it would feel like a slap in the face to Patrick.”
“I guess. But you don’t have to be so dramatic, Ria. You could be less diva and a little more Ria. I think people would warm to Ria more than your Zaria persona. Honestly, I think they’d respect Ria more than that diva personality. People generally roll their eyes to the diva mentality, don’t they?”
She exhales. “It’s hard, though. When I get into that mode it’s difficult to switch off the bitch. I hate being her, but I don’t know how to be any different in public because it’s so ingrained in me now. It’s like a habit that I can’t break.”
I nod. “I get it, but I think you should try. How about you start with my friends, they’d appreciate Ria instead of the diva. I know that for a fact.” I give her a warm smile.
She nods. “I’ll try.”
Ria pulls out the Nemo disc and places it into the DVD player to project onto the screen. We sit in the front row on two recliners and watch the movie, laughing and talking all the way through it.
It’s quite late and as the movie finally finishes we get up to leave the theater room.
“I should probably go,” I say, seeing as I’ve been here all day.
Ria purses her lips like she’s pouting because she’s sad I’m leaving.
That thought makes me happy.
“Thank you for today,” I tell her then lean in to kiss her cheek.
She smiles grabbing my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Was my pleasure. We have to do it again… and soon. Okay?” Ria offers as we walk to the front door.
I nod and smile in answer.
The urge to kiss her again is strong, but I figure two kisses on the cheek is a little excessive. So I simply turn and head for my car.
“Bye Nate,” she calls out.
Swinging around I see her waving, so I return the wave looking at her through the darkness of the night sky. She’s standing in her doorway and the lights from inside shine from behind her lighting her up with a halo glow.
I sigh.
I’m so done for with this chick.
Shaking my head, I slide into my car and start the engine. Before I take off I wave once more and drive toward the gate. It opens automatically and the security guards nod—I’d forgotten they were even here. Putting my foot down on the accelerator I head home from the Hollywood Hills.
***
Arriving home, I walk in through the garage to see Matt barbecuing dinner on the grill. It smells delicious, and I see he’s made enough for me which is great seeing as I’m starving.
“Where the hell have you been all day?” he asks.
I figure lying is probably not such a good idea. Plus, Matt can always tell when I’m bullshitting, so I tell him the truth. “I spent the day at Zaria’s mansion.”
Matt gawks and then laughs loudly like he thinks I’m joking.
“Is it so hard to believe?”
Matt stops laughing and squishes his eyebrows together like he can’t quite grasp what I’ve just told him. “Um… no. Just surprising… I guess. So, what’s her place like?”
“Well, I’d say simply amazing. We had lunch and went swimming, then watched Nemo—”
“You made an Oscar-winner watch a kid’s movie?”
I laugh and nod. “She loved it!”
Suddenly, my cell beeps with a text message. I wince and pull it out, never knowing if I’m going to be able to read it or not. I usually have to get Matt to read my text messages to me.
The text is from Ria but it doesn’t say anything. It’s just a symbol of a clown fish. I smile wide and send back a picture of a dove.
Matt shakes his head. “Weird,” is all he says as he continues cooking on the grill.
“So what happened at the office today?” I ask.
Matt shrugs. “Not a lot. Danger and Lunar were talking about their wedding plans… a lot.”
Tensing slightly at the thought of Lunar marrying Danger, Matt looks at me and sighs. “Nate, you gotta let that shit go.”
Sighing, I slump my body. “I know, I just don’t want Danger to hurt her.”
“He loves her too much, dude. She’s not like the others, he’ll never hurt her.”
Groaning, I run my hand through my hair. “He thought he really loved Ella, too. But he still cheated on her when they did the whole long distance thing. He’s scum when it comes to women, you know that.”
“Nate, let it fucking go. Danger’s happy. Let Lunar go… go after Zaria even though she’s way out of your league.”
Tensing up, I huff. “Why do you have to do that?”
“What?” he asks.
“Always put me down? Fuck! It’s no wonder I’m always such a snickety dick.”
Matt pulls his head back in shock. “Dude, I’m sorry. You know I love you, bro!”
“I hate that I’m this way!”
He furrows his brows. “What way?”
“Stupid!”
“What? You’re not stupid—”
“I can’t read, Matt. What other twenty-two-year-old do you know that can’t fucking read?”
Matt reaches out wrapping his arm around my shoulders strongly in a man embrace. “Hey, I know you struggle with this, and if you want I can hire a tutor again to help?”
Shaking my head, I pull back and sigh. “Nah, I’m good. Just had a moment… sorry.”
Matt gnaws on his bottom lip while looking me in the eyes. “Maybe you should see a counselor?”
“Fuck off, I’m fine!” I grab the food from the grill and take it inside. I want to eat quickly so I can go to bed and sleep off the negativity I’m feeling about me being less than stupid and the rejection from Ria today.
Fuck, I’m a loser!
Chapter Three
Matt and I walk into the office together. I’m grouchy after a restless sleep but Matt seems his usual chirpy self. He appears none the wiser of my depleted mood. We head in and even though I had a great time with Ria yesterday, I feel like I’m not good enough for her or for that matter, anyone right now. Making my way to the kitchen to grab a coffee, I’m hopeful caffeine will help perk up my mood that is until I spot Tillie.
“Morning, didn’t sleep well?” Tillie asks.
Raising an eyebrow, I tilt my head. “How’d you know?”
She smirks. “The black circles under your eyes are a little bit of a giveaway. Plus, your buttons aren’t lined up correctly.”
I look down to my shirt to see that my buttons are,
in fact, not done up correctly. “Fuck.”
She pats my shoulder and winces. “Anything you wanna talk about?”
Sighing, I swallow hard. “Umm… yeah. When are we starting filming for the music video?”
She smiles. “This time next week. But Zaria will come in a couple of days beforehand to talk through the theme of the clip and wardrobe etcetera.”
“Okay cool. And thanks for making this happen, Tillie.”
She shrugs. “Hey, it was your idea. So I should be thanking you.”
With a grin I grab my coffee and pat her shoulder as I head off toward the studio where the rest of the band is currently waiting for a practice session.
Walking in, Ryan, Matt and Danger are set up ready to rehearse. I sip my coffee.
“Looking rather disheveled this morning, Nate. You have a messy night?” Ryan asks.
“Nah, just need caffeine and to bash it out on the kit then I’ll be right.”
Matt looks at me and winces. I nod to him letting him know I’m okay as I sit down behind my kit.
Oliver walks in and we all look up to him. “Morning kids. You guys ready to rehearse I’ll Take Your Breath Away?” We all nod as I skull back the rest of my coffee and place the mug down next to my foot pedal. “Okay let’s get right to it then.”
We all get set up and Oliver counts us in. I begin with the 4/4 timing. The song is slow, but the rhythm is anything but mellow with flams and paradiddles placed sporadically throughout. I slam my sticks down on the toms hard, the wood banging against the skin with a heavy beat. The vibration filling my veins with the love I have for percussion. The bass drum reverberates through my soul as I do the double beats quickly and without pause. I’m skilled at what I do, I know that not just anyone can play the drums well. I own my craft and I love it. Mix it with the sounds of Ryan’s guitar flowing through me, Matt’s bass vibrating against my skin and Danger’s voice echoing around the room it makes for a stirring experience.
I love this band and I adore being a part of something so damn special. My arms move with ease over the kit hitting the correct instrument at the exact right time. My muscles flexing and stretching with the tension of the movements.
Glancing up, I see Tillie and Lunar watching from the sound booth and I wonder what Ria would think if she were here watching, seeing my muscles flex, hearing us live and seeing the power of the music.
Would she melt like all the other girls do?
But more importantly, would she find me attractive while I play?
RIA
I’m in my living room thinking about Nate, wondering what he’s doing right now as I read through a possible script. It’s terrible. I mean a woman and her dog on Mars? I mean her dog? Really? Some movies are just too farfetched to be anything other than dribble. I throw the script down on the coffee table with a huff just as my doorbell rings. Glancing up toward the door, I purse my lips wondering who the hell it is but silently hoping it’s Nate. Walking to the door, the marble is cold on my bare feet, but I’m used to it. When I’m home I generally walk around in bare feet because in public I’m usually always in heels, so I like to relax when I’m at home.
Opening the door, I sigh when I notice my mother standing there. Her jet black hair frames her face perfectly as her oversized sunglasses crowd her face. Her bright red lipstick looks too young for her, but she smiles warmly making me smile in return.
“Ria… darling,” she gushes rushing forward and taking me into an embrace.
I hug her back and kiss both cheeks as we’ve become accustomed to doing, like fucking posh people. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
She pulls back with a scoff. “Well, it’s nice to see you, too.”
Rolling my eyes, I stand back to let her pass. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I wasn’t expecting you. I’m surprised is all.”
“I know, darling. I’m only teasing. I just wanted to check in on you to make sure you’re making the correct decisions for your future.”
Furrowing my brows at her strange words, I shake my head. “I’m not following?”
Closing the door, I lead us down into the living room.
“Well darling, I heard you were doing a music video with some band called Recoil. Why would you want to do that? They’re not that famous. I mean you could go for Staked or Slayed, a band with more popular appeal?”
I roll my eyes. “Colter Slade is too old and Staked are English, Mom. I don’t want to leave the States. Plus, Recoil approached me and they’re lovely… and they are famous in their own right.”
“Well, doesn’t matter how lovely they are now, does it? The question is are they going to boost your career?”
I smirk. “Mom, I’ve won three Oscars. I’m pretty sure I’m boosting them. But I’m getting paid for it, so that’s all that matters… right?”
“Yes, but don’t fall for the lead singer like you have in the past. Rockers are always users and abusers… remember?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “The lead singer is in a happy relationship, Mom. So no need to worry there.”
“That won’t stop him from falling for you. You’re stunning, Ria.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Mom.”
“I’m not, Ria. Just don’t break up a happy relationship, okay?”
Opening my eyes wide, I shake my head. “Jesus Mom, what makes you think I would go for the lead singer and break up a happy relationship?”
“Kade? Backlash… ringing any bells?”
I groan. “Oh God… one goddamn mistake means I’m always going to go for lead singers does it?”
“Habits are hard to break, Ria.”
“One lead singer does not a habit make, Mom.”
“Okay! Remember this conversation when you two are getting all cozy and personal.”
“The only time I’ll be getting cozy and personal with Danger is when we’re filming. That’s it. I swear. I’ve been spending time with the drummer, though.”
“My God, Ria! Drummers are the worst. They’re dumb and drug lords!”
“Drug lords, Mom? Really?”
“I would not lie to you, Ria.”
With a long drawn out sigh, I stand up in frustration. “Mom, you gotta go!”
“Ria… be sensible, be smart, be safe.”
“Yes, Mom.” I grab her shoulders and lead her out of the room toward the front door. She turns the handle and steps out to the bright sunny day.
“Ria, you know I love you.”
“I know, Mom. I love you, too.”
“Okay, bye darling.”
“Bye Mom.”
Leaning in I kiss each of her cheeks and she swings around and walks off to her convertible. Taking a deep breath, I roll my eyes behind her back as she slides gracefully into her car and I watch as she drives off in the bright red Maserati that Patrick obviously bought her.
I think back to where we came from. The rags to riches story of our lives. If only my Aba could see us now. He’d hate who we’ve become. Who we’ve turned into. Yes, he’d be proud of me and all I’ve accomplished in my life, but this lavish lifestyle… it’s not our way. We’re not materialistic, he didn’t raise me to be about the money the way mother is now. He would be turning in his grave to witness such a thing.
It’s times like this that make me think about giving this all up, for him… but Mom suits this lifestyle. She’s good with Patrick, and she lived a hard life in Israel growing up—practically living on the streets begging for food for her family. Coming here and making a life for us was what was right for her. I’m not ungrateful, not at all, I just know that my Aba… my father, would most definitely not approve.
With a sigh I begin to think about how I’m going to handle the acting part of the music video with Danger. Considering my past with Kade, I know I’ve had a no-go zone around me with regards to rock stars. But I like Nate, he doesn’t exhibit the typical bad boy douche bag rock star persona so many of them do.
Walking back inside, I make my
way over to the notebook that Nate was working in yesterday and look at the doodles of the doves. He’s very artistic and he should develop his art further. I wish I could spend the day with him again, but I have to go to the studio to see Patrick to talk to him about my next film—the one where I’m co-starring with Liam Hemsworth.
I’m a sucker for an Aussie accent.
I decide to send Nate another quick text to let him know I’m thinking of him, so I grab my cell and send him another picture of a clown fish. My lips turn up in a smile at my symbol for him, and as I go to put my cell in my bag it rings.
Glancing at the number it’s Nate. I’m a little shocked, as I didn’t expect him to call. Swiping the screen, I answer with, “Hey!”
“Hey. I wasn’t sure if that was your code for asking me to call you or just a general hi, so I thought I’d better call… just in case.”
With a little giggle like a silly school girl I say, “Well, it was more of a ‘hi,’ but I’m glad you called. I can’t talk for long, I have to head in to the studio. But do you wanna come over tomorrow night for another tutoring session?”
“Yeah, sure, sounds good. Can I bring anything?”
“Nope, just bring yourself and be prepared to learn!”
He chuckles and the sound is like heaven to my ears. It shocks me slightly that I even think that as my skin litters with goosebumps.
“Sure. I seem to be able to absorb it a lot easier than I have with other people who’ve tried tutoring me in the past.”
“I’m glad I can help.”
“Thanks for being so cool about this.”
“What are friends for?”
I feel proud that I’m able to help him when it seems no one else has been able to. It makes me think about whether or not I would have made a good teacher, because it was something I wanted so badly way back then.
NATE
As I drive to Ria’s mansion, I’m nervous. I know I’m going there as her friend and that she obviously doesn’t want anything other than that, but I can’t help but wonder what kissing her would be like. Those plump lips, that tiny, but curvy frame holding firmly against me. I’m growing hard just thinking about it. I rearrange myself as I pull up to the security encrusted gate. Jersey looks at me and nods. I like that he seems to know me now as he presses the button that opens the gate.
