by T. A. Chase
“He does now. I came over to tell you he was missing, and there he was in your house. I had breakfast with him, and he told me how upset and worried he was about these notes he’d been getting. I could tell how much stress he was under, and how much grief he was dealing with.” Neel sighed, then met Ajay’s gaze.
“I couldn’t keep doing it to him. I left a note on your doorstep, telling him I wouldn’t bother him anymore. He saw me leave it, and came after me. He made me tell him everything.”
“You did all this crazy shit because you were jealous and afraid I’d leave you for Raj?”
Ajay shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense, Neel.”
“Not leave me for him. It’s not like we’re a couple or anything, but I just knew that if Rajan stayed with Karishma, and didn’t have anything to do with you, you’d eventually realise what a good thing we could have between us.” Neel slammed his fist into his thigh.
“I’m an idiot. To be honest, I knew you’d never love me. I’m scared to come out, and you’ve got too much pride to hide who you are and who you love.”
Ajay crouched next to Neel, resting his hand on his friend’s knee. “You’re right about the closet part, and that’s not an issue I’m willing to compromise on—not even with Raj—but Neel, you’re a great guy. I’m thrilled to call you my best friend. I think, though, we shouldn’t hang out for a while. You need to get your head on straight again, and I have to figure out what the hell is going on between Raj and I.”
Neel covered his hand with his, and Ajay leaned in to give him a one-armed hug. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Ajay broke away, then rose to his feet.
“I’m going to go get Raj, and you’re going to apologise to him, and explain all your crazy reasons why you did what you did.”
Neel cringed, but didn’t say a word as Ajay left the room.
He found Raj talking to Mrs Mehra near the kitchen. They both looked up as he approached.
“Everything sorted out?” Raj asked. Mrs Mehra tactfully retreated to the kitchen.
“Mostly, but I would like you to join Neel and I in the study again. Please?” Ajay motioned with his head in the direction of the other room.
Raj gave him a quizzical look but willingly walked ahead of him back to the study. Ajay ogled Raj’s butt as the man strolled in front of him. He couldn’t help it, even with all the shit going on.
Neel had been sitting but jumped to his feet when they walked in the room. Ajay gestured towards Raj.
“You know what you need to tell him, Neel.”
Ajay wandered out onto the balcony to let them have some privacy. He didn’t need to be there to make sure Neel told Raj everything. Neel felt guilty enough as it was, and Ajay didn’t want to rub it in.
After several minutes, he heard a door close. Sensing a presence behind him, he turned to find Raj, shirtless, pushing his pants down his legs.
“Tired of wearing clothes?” Ajay quipped.
“Oddly enough, being accused of breaking your heart and warned to not do it again made me want you. Right now. Right here.”
Ajay blinked as Raj stepped out of his pants and gave his lengthening cock a couple of slow strokes.
Holy shit! He really means it.
“No lube or condoms,” he managed.
“We’ll just have to improvise then.” Raj reached out to pluck at his shirt and Ajay finally got with the programme and stripped in record time. He glanced over as he heard the sound of an engine and watched as Neel’s car slowly moved down the drive to the gate. Had he seen anything? A light breeze caressed his bare skin and he was suddenly hyper-aware of their less-than-private location.
Raj gave him a knowing smile then pressed against him. “Kiss me.”
Ajay did as he had been ordered, crushing their lips together along with every inch of their bodies. He sucked on Raj’s tongue, then speared his own into Raj’s mouth, mimicking the art of fucking. While they fought over control of the embrace, Ajay slipped his hand down Raj’s chest to wrap it around both of their cocks. Similar in length and girth, their erections fit perfectly with each other.
He didn’t start gentle or slow. No, he went straight to hard and fast, stroking as quickly as he could. Something about being in the open air lent urgency to the moment, and Raj was of a similar mind, if his murmured encouragement was anything to go on. “Yes…yes…gods yes. Ajay…” Raj had one hand on his ass and the other cradling the back of Ajay’s head as their foreheads met.
“Come on, Raj,” was really all Ajay could get his mouth to say as all the blood in his head rushed to his groin, and his shaft began to swell even more.
Raj gasped against his temple and warmth spilt over his hand as he worked them together. The moment Raj’s cum hit his skin, Ajay came, his own essence mixing with Raj’s.
He kept pumping until their flesh softened and became too sensitive to touch. Ajay held Raj close as they slowly sank to the rug on the balcony, spooning as they recovered.
As his mind drifted, Ajay’s thoughts went back to Neel’s fear that Raj would break his heart again if he fell back in love with him. He’d vowed that he wouldn’t put aside his need to freely show his love. But how would he be able keep his integrity and safeguard his heart when the man in his arms had—unknowingly—already laid claim to it?
Chapter Sixteen
“Pull your shirt off, Rajan,” called the director from his perch behind the main camera.
“We’re just blocking the scene,” he protested.
“Yes, but we need to decide how deep in you’re going to be, and whether Karishma needs a box to stand on.”
“I still don’t see what that has to do with me having my shirt off,” he grumbled, even as he pulled it over his head and handed it to a waiting assistant.
“Nipples, of course. Have to see how your chest looks in different shots. Okay, go ahead and walk out slowly until I say stop.”
Rajan was thankful they didn’t have a reason for him to strip off his swim trunks as well. Even on the supposed ‘closed set’, there were several phones aimed at him while he waded into the—he sucked in a breath—damn cold water.
He paused just before ball-level and shot a dirty look at the crew, most of whom were snickering. Karishma was flat out laughing at him. Bracing himself, he took the step that would immerse his hips and everything shrivelled at once. Fucking sadistic bastards.
If it was just him, he’d dive in and get it over with, because this inch by inch shit was more difficult by far. But of course he couldn’t do that—they wanted the test shots off his dry chest. So he continued to slowly go deeper until they yelled for him to stop.
He waited for a while, adjusting his angle when told to, then moved around until they were happy with what was in the background of the three angles they would be filming from.
The place where they were on location in Punjab was a beautiful estate with a gorgeous landmark house that his character supposedly lived in. They were doing all the exterior shots for that section of the film on this trip then would shoot the interior scenes back in the studio.
Besides this location, there would a few other ‘street shots’ in a different city as well as some in Mumbai. When they were finally all put together, the story would flow and be entertaining for the audiences. But filming happened in completely random order.
“Okay, let’s have Karishma come out.”
Rajan turned and watched as his co-star walked confidently into the water to join him, seemingly impervious to the chill. Their height difference was enough that she was told to stop well short of him. They brought out a few different weighted boxes and placed them so she could stand by him without being chin deep. After a few test shots with the two of them together, they sunk a marker for his placement, wrote down which box was needed for Karishma, then allowed them to walk out of the water.
They were handed towels by their assistants. Kavin, Rajan’s personal assistant for the film, set his sandals down in front of him
and draped a robe over his shoulders.
The director called out, “Okay, we’re losing light, so let’s wrap it for today. Shooting starts just before sunup tomorrow morning, so Rajan and Karishma, be here at the time on your notes for makeup. It’ll be tight trying to catch the sunrise.”
Everyone went into motion at once and headed in different directions. Rajan slipped into his sandals and accepted his cell phone from Kavin.
“Thanks. What time tomorrow?”
Kavin flipped through his clipboard. “Sunrise is at around five-thirty, so you’ll need to be here for makeup and wardrobe no later than four.”
“Wardrobe? What wardrobe?” he joked and Kavin laughed. He followed Rajan to his trailer and handed him a packet with last minute changes to the script, his notes from today’s read-through, and whatever he’d written down about the test shots they’d just run. Kavin was nothing if not thorough. Rajan was seriously considering offering Kavin a job as his permanent personal assistant after the film wrapped up. He was getting used to the pampering and someone pleasant handling the details for him.
“I’ll come knock if I don’t see you there,” Kavin offered tactfully, knowing by now that Rajan usually had trouble getting up in the mornings.
“Thanks. I might see you at dinner.” They usually had catered buffets for meals for the entire cast and crew while on location.
“Not tonight.” Kavin winked at him.
“Date?”
He nodded and glanced at his watch like he was anxious to get going. He’d probably hooked up with one of the other people on set. It happened all the time. Romances that lasted as long as the filming did, then poof. Over.
It didn’t surprise him that Kavin would be in demand, though he idly wondered who the lucky guy was. Kavin was definitely gay and there was no hiding the fact.
“Have fun,” Rajan told him, and tried not to think about what the cute assistant and some faceless guy might be getting up to later on. It’d been a long time since he and Ajay had been able to be together now that shooting had begun.
Nothing like that in store for him this evening, either. He sighed as he climbed the steps. Once Rajan had gained the dubious privacy of his small trailer, with its paper-thin walls, he stripped off the robe and trunks and headed straight to the shower. Not only had the water been cold, but it had looked pretty murky. He shuddered.
He knew better than to take his time, since the hot water tank wasn’t exactly huge, so he made the most of it, cleaning himself thoroughly, then dried off and dressed in a T-shirt and some lounge pants. He’d throw some jeans on later before dinner. For now, he just wanted to relax.
It had been close to a month now since his mother had passed away. Beni and Karishma had been instrumental in getting the studio to push back the start of shooting so that Rajan could observe a mourning period and have time to get past the worst of the initial grief. He’d been a mess physically as well, and finally Beni had put his foot down and worked with Armaan and his personal trainer to get him on a good diet and strength building regimen.
His stress levels had decreased drastically once his stalker had been revealed to be nothing more than a love-sick man goaded into one impulsive act after another.
And, of course, there had been Ajay’s presence in his life. Nothing but good.
He smiled at the very thought of the muscular cricketer. Ajay had his occasional travel out of town for matches and, now that the season was winding down, some upcoming endorsement shoots and personal appearances. And of course, Rajan had his own industry obligations and invitations. They had still been able to spend a few evenings a week together at Ajay’s house when Rajan was at home in Mumbai, and the chemistry between them ran hotter than ever. Nothing had been lost in the intervening years, from their university days as young, endlessly aroused young men sharing a room, to now as adults with their own lives and houses. If anything, they made up for the times they were apart by making every moment together memorable.
Rajan was grateful that Ajay hadn’t pressed the issue about the status of their relationship. They hadn’t discussed it, but Ajay seemed to instinctively know that Rajan had to keep up appearances with Karishma for the time being. He had to know that he wasn’t truly involved with her. Not when Rajan surrendered so completely to Ajay when they were together. They hadn’t needed the words back then, nor did they now.
Rajan went through his text messages, answering a few from Beni, his father and Kavin.
Karishma had sent a photo of them in the water that her assistant must have taken from the shore, along with the message ‘ it’s all about the nipples, Rajan’. He smiled and texted back, ‘ lol, you wish you were really taller than my nipples’.
Ajay hadn’t texted, so Rajan checked his voicemail. Other than a lengthy update on the status of his upcoming schedule from Beni, nothing. Huh. Maybe Ajay was travelling today and he’d forgotten.
There was a knock on his door at the same time a text from Kavin hit his phone. ‘ you have a visitor.’
Rajan’s breath caught. Could it be Ajay? Was that why he hadn’t heard from him today? He threw his door open.
“Hi, Rajan.”
“Father, hello,” he said, pleased to see Bansi, though part of him was disappointed that it wasn’t Ajay. He invited him inside and went back to the bedroom to put his jeans on.
What did you expect? Ajay to fly up here to the middle of nowhere and parade around in front of everyone on set? That would be completely inappropriate anyway…and Karishma would see through you two in a heartbeat. He had no doubt about that.
Rajan, Karishma and Beni had actually sat down a few weeks ago, and had discussed Rajan and Karishma’s ‘relationship’. After arguing the benefits for a while, Beni had finally reluctantly agreed to help them cool things off in the eyes of the media in preparation for them at some point moving on to other partners, or just being single for a while…that was, after the promo for this film had wrapped up. Which would be a very long time from now since the filming was barely underway. By the time it went through post-production and the premiere came…
It’ll be forever.
But what could he do? At least Karishma was fun to hang out with. She was still suspicious that he was seeing someone else, though he’d continued to deny—truthfully— that there was no ‘other woman’. But she hadn’t pressed the point and had accepted his word that nothing damaging would get out.
Anyway, he had no reason to rush things along. It wasn’t like he could actually publicly date Ajay.
Bansi gave him a big hug when he walked back out into the small living area. One of the bonuses of shooting in Punjab was that, with Bansi living a few hours away, they’d been making the most of the opportunity to finally get to know each other. Bansi had made the round-trip to visit the set about every other day when Rajan knew he’d have downtime. He would stay for several hours then make the long drive home.
Rajan had offered him a place to stay in his trailer, such as it was, and would have alternately been willing to pay to put him up in nearby lodging, but Bansi insisted that he rested better at home, even if he didn’t get there until the middle of the night. He’d wondered at the reason behind his father’s focus on getting home each night, but it wasn’t in his nature to pry and while their relationship was coming along, they weren’t yet quite that comfortable with one another.
“Why don’t you slip on some sandals and we can walk around the property? It’s a beautiful evening and there’s still just enough light to enjoy it.”
Rajan agreed and they set out to enjoy a walk before dinner.
“We’re almost done shooting. The bloody pond scene tomorrow and then the horseback riding scene mid-day should be the last of them, unless something doesn’t turn out the way they want it.”
Bansi chuckled. “Well, let’s avoid the pond then tonight. Want to go over through the gardens instead?”
“Sure.”
The formal gardens were peaceful and lovely in the low
light. Ajay would love it here. It just seemed like something his friend… lover? …would enjoy, though he didn’t know for certain. They spent most of their time together either talking about their daily lives or having sex, not getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes. A bit guilty at that realisation, he resolved to spend more time talking in the future. When he could get hold of him, that was.
He wondered what Ajay was doing tonight.
There was walkway lighting illuminating the paths, so they wandered around in a random manner while Rajan filled his father in on the day’s shooting. He had Bansi laughing with his description of the ball-shrinking performance he’d put on for the crew.
“I swear, Father, if Karishma screws around tomorrow and messes up shots on purpose, I’m going to dunk her.” He snickered at the mental picture of his co-star with dripping wet hair and running makeup.
Bansi joined him in his laughter then quieted before he looked pointedly at him. “You two aren’t the real thing, are you?”
Unwilling to extend his public pretence to his father, Rajan shook his head. “We’re good friends, but nothing like the media makes out.”
“You mean, nothing like what you and your publicists deliberately portray.”
A bit uncomfortable with the implication of him being complicit in deception, he shrugged. “It is what it is. Image is everything in Bollywood.”
Bansi gave him a stern gaze. “You sound like your mother.”
Rajan’s jaw dropped at the uncharacteristic edge of bitterness in his father’s voice.
“Bansi…Father—”
His utter shock must have shown because Bansi’s expression softened though he remained serious. “My apologies, Rajan. I can’t help but feel resentment towards the importance of ‘image’ in Bollywood for the loss of knowing you as you were growing up.”
He sighed, looking conflicted about something. Rajan waited, unsure whether to press.
Finally, his father spoke again on a different topic. “I’d be honoured if you’d come to my home before you head back to Mumbai. Either for an overnight or even just dinner.”
