“I won’t, Mom.”
“Kurt, I’m scared, please come inside.”
He stood, head bowed, defeated by her words. He had put her through so much already. It would be selfish to put her through anything more. Sighing, he looked up at her, tears misting his eyes. “It’s OK, Mom. I need some time alone, though. I’m going for a walk. Don’t wait up.”
He went to her, pressed the car keys into her hand, and then said, “Mia will be coming for these. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything dumb.” He kissed her cheek, feeling the moisture from her tears on his lips. Every time she cried, every time he caught that look of fear in her eyes, he hated himself.
Sometimes he wondered if it was ever going to change. If he would ever be able to forgive himself. If he would ever be able to forgive his wolf.
Walking into the trees, he felt them close in around him and welcomed the comfort they gave. Old and wise, they cocooned him as he walked and then broke into a run. He had to get rid of this pent-up tension or he would explode and that would be no good for anyone.
The run became faster, his mind telling him this was the closest he would ever get to being a wolf now. Those days were gone.
Faster, trying to escape his new reality he flew through the trees, mile after unstoppable mile of trees, leaping over streams, the branches catching at him, but unable to stop him. But her scent did.
A small wisp of a breeze drifted through the forest, spreading the scent of his mate. With his nose in the air, he tried to catch it, to breathe it in; so fragile on the night air. Taking a few steps forward, he lost it and went back to the original place he had smelt it. He tried another way; this time he was reward by a stronger dose of her. Her hand had touched the trunk of a tree, making the scent linger. For a moment, he stood and took it in. Placing his hand where she had placed hers, feeling like a stalker or some kind of voyeur.
Then another scent touched his nostrils and made his hackles rise. Another wolf, here among the trees. Another. His mate had been with another wolf. A snarl rose up on his lips and he bared his teeth to the night. His own wolf was so close now, he could feel it ripping up the corners of his mind and it frightened him. What would his wolf do if it caught his mate with another wolf? He couldn’t bear to think of the consequences, so he shut the wolf in a mental box and swallowed the key. He could not come out now, he was trapped. It was a mental exercise she had taught him when he was trying to regain his human form. Ironic that after all of these weeks wanting to reclaim his wolf, he had shut it away on purpose.
Turning around he went back towards his house. Defeated, utterly and completely. This was why she had never wanted him to know who she was. She already had a lover, already had a mate. Maybe all men fell in love with her and thought she was theirs. Maybe that was how the treatment worked. He would have to learn to live with it, to be ever-thankful for the kindness and understanding she had shown him, but he needed to put some distance between them.
He was true to those words. Until the scream. Her scream. It rose up and echoed through the trees. She needed him. He would answer her call.
Chapter Eight – Nadine
The man made a grab for her and she screamed, which made him excited. There was no other way to describe the look of pleasure on his face when confronted with her panic. He was a monster and she was at his mercy.
“I do so love it when a woman shows her emotions.” He closed his eyes, smelling the air. “Oh fear, I do love thee.”
Her mind raced through all the things she should say, all the training she had received, but there was nothing for this. He was a madman, pure and simple. She could sense the sexual pleasure he was getting from this and knew he would never let her go. But it seemed he liked the thrill of the chase, and when he came close to her, his breath warm on her cheek, and said, “Run,” she did.
He was behind her. A wolf, so close she could feel his teeth snapping at her heels. But he didn’t want to catch her yet, he first wanted to tire her out, make her easy to control. While she ran she tried to come up with a plan. It wasn’t her other side that had deserted her now, all the years of training and experience vanished too. She should be able to deal with this, talk him down, but she couldn’t think how.
He howled, a sound so eerie, so utterly unnatural, it confirmed her fears. He was insane. Running was not an option. He had greater stamina, especially over this terrain. The only thing she could do was stand and fight him now.
Looking around for something she could use as a weapon, all she came up with was the keys in her pocket, and with one final surge of adrenaline, she pushed the longest, sharpest key through her fingers to stick out between her middle and index finger, and then she pivoted around to face him.
Two things happened at once. First, he was so shocked, he ground straight into her and she managed to draw blood as the key dug into his shoulder, but they both were sent sprawling to the floor by the force of impact. His drooling wolf head hovered above her before it turned into the sickening, grinning face of her pursuer in human form. Grinning, he placed his hand on her breast and squeezed.
She lifted the keys to dig them into his eye, it was that or his balls, but she couldn’t reach down far enough to castrate him. However, before her weapon made contact, he was torn from her by something else. Someone else.
Nadine should have felt him coming, should have felt his presence, but the fear of what her pursuer might do to her had numbed all her faculties. But now she could feel the connection and knew the man, Kurt, would fight to his death for her. She was not going to let that happen.
Pushing herself up, having to pause to stop her legs from giving out from under her, she then ran at the stranger and struck him with her fists in the side of the head. Damn, that hurt, but it did the trick of stunning him. It also gave Kurt time to get up and ball his fists, ready to hit him again.
The other guy seemed to prefer his chances of success as a wolf and transformed in front of them. She felt the current of electricity in the air as he left this world for a split second, to return as a snarling creature ready to rip Kurt’s throat out.
“No,” she said, putting herself in front of Kurt. She could feel him about to change and she was scared; she knew the dark place he had been coaxed from and couldn’t bear him going back there for her.
“It’s the only way,” Kurt said, and he was right. The wolf was preparing to attack. But then, down on the lower slopes of the mountain another wolf called. Her attacker paused, his head turning, his ears flicking back towards the sound. She let out a sigh, he was going to go and join his friends. Or would they all come here, the other ones who had been chasing her? Were they going to come back and help kill Kurt, and then take it in turns to, what? Rape her?
“You should leave. He can’t hurt both of us. Run.” She shoved Kurt away from her.
“No. You need to go, I can handle this guy.”
“Not when he’s a wolf.” As if to prove the point, the wolf snarled, his teeth huge and sharp, built for tearing flesh from bones. He stalked forward towards them, and Nadine and Kurt stood side by side. In some way, they knew that to defeat him they had to work together.
But the call came again, closer now and angry. A whimper from the wolf in front of them told them he was being chastised. He turned, and they saw the undergrowth move, rustling as something charged through it. Then before them was another wolf, so much bigger, so much stronger and they knew if he attacked they would not survive.
But he didn’t attack, at least not them. Instead, he snarled and then snapped at the smaller wolf, his teeth sinking into his fur, eliciting a yelp. The bigger wolf pinned him to the ground, and then got up. With one backwards glance at Nadine and Kurt, he walked out of the clearing, the smaller wolf following him, tail between his legs.
Stunned, Nadine watched the two wolves disappear into the forest, the dark surrounding them until they had melted into the trees completely, leaving her wondering if it was all a dream. When her eyes shifted to Kur
t, she knew it wasn't. She also knew he would want explanations, but did she really want to tell him the truth about herself?
"I can't believe I've actually found you," he said, and moved closer to her. She stood still, wanting to run, but also to fall into his arms. The mate bond was strong, pulling her to him, but she couldn't give into it. That wouldn't be fair to either of them.
"Hello, Kurt. How are you?"
"So much better now I've found you. I ... I can't believe you're real." He reached out and touched her arm, as though she might be a phantom in the night. "I've been thinking of you, picturing you in my head for months."
And then he asked her the question she had been dreading. "Why did you leave me in the hospital?"
She hesitated. Hadn't she been over the question so many times, rehearsed her answer over and over in her head? "Because you were better. You didn't need me anymore."
"Need you? I will always need you. Don't try to tell me you don't feel the connection between us too. I can see it in your face, feel it when I touch your skin." His fingers stroked her arm, sending shock waves through her body. He was right and she could no longer deny it. Not to herself, or to him. The tortured tone of his voice told her he needed to know the truth—that, far from sparing him, she had added to his metal turmoil, and it had to stop.
Yet it terrified her to have to open up to another person and admit her failings as a shifter, that she couldn't access the other part of herself. Or she could lie: tell him that she didn't have two sides. No. He was her mate. They were bonded; whether consummated or not, she couldn't break that trust. There would be no more lies between them.
Chapter Nine – Kurt
She was here in front of him. After the months of longing, the months of not knowing who she was or where she was, his saviour, his mate, was here in front of him. So why didn't she look pleased to see him? Of course—she knew what he was, what he had done, and was ashamed a man such as he was her true mate. That a woman who was so good, could belong to a man who was so bad.
"I'm sorry. You owe me nothing. I understand your reasons for staying hidden from me," he admitted.
"You do?" she asked, surprised.
"Of course. After what I did, you wouldn't want me as your mate. No one would." He turned his face from her. "I just want to make sure you are safe. Can I escort you home? Nothing more."
"Wait, Kurt. It's not because of you." She reached out for him and placed her hand on his arm to stop him turning from her and retreating into himself. "It's me. I am not what you think."
"I don't care what you are." He looked at her, his eyes catching hers in the moonlight. "It doesn't matter."
"Even if I'm an imposter?" she asked.
"I don't understand, how can you be an imposter? You treated me, I remember your voice, I remember through all the drugs they gave me to numb the pain that you were the one who could reach inside and bring me back out. Without you I would not have been able to leave the body of my wolf and come back to being me." He stroked her cheek and then pulled her into his arms. "I can't believe you are an imposter, not when everything about you tells me you are the one for me. The only one. Am I wrong?"
"No," she said breathlessly, and then he kissed her.
His mate tasted so sweet, her lips on his soft, welcoming. If she had secrets, they could work through them together. There was nothing she could be, nothing she could have done, that would strip away his feelings for her. He pressed for entrance and she opened her mouth for him to slide his tongue inside, her tongue entwining with his. His hand slid down to her bottom and he stroked the rounded flesh. Shockwaves coursed through her body, and she trembled against him.
Breaking away, he said, "Let's get you home."
He wanted her, to be inside her, but he could feel her sagging against him. She was exhausted, and it was his duty, now he had found her, to protect her. That meant getting her home, somewhere safe and checking her over. With his hands and mouth. He mentally shook that thought off. No, not tonight. She had been through enough; he had to give her time to calm down and to get over her fright.
When his thoughts returned to the wolf who had attacked her, he had a sudden overwhelming need to track him down and rip his throat out. However, when she leaned her head on his shoulder and sobbed against him, he understood that his thoughts of revenge would have to wait. There were other things that were much more important. And she was in his arms right now.
Chapter Ten – Nadine
All her strength had gone, zapped in the instant he kissed her. She could no longer fight her need to be with him; his lips had broken through her resolve. Nadine wanted to cling to him and never let go. He was her constant, at this moment, just as she had once been Kurt’s when his wolf ruled his mind and body. The world seemed to swim; the chase through the woods had scared her more than she realised and now her knees threatened to buckle under her. Kurt bent down and picked her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest, and carried her to safety.
All around them the forest had gone back to its quiet ways, the occasional rustle of a small creature the only sound. Nadine knew he was listening out for the slightest sign that a wolf might be near. But there was nothing. Directing him through the forest, he took her home, their surroundings becoming more familiar as they walked, his breathing growing heavier when the terrain altered and they began the steep climb up to where her cabin nestled in the trees. She would have walked, but she knew she would probably collapse on the ground if he put her down. And she liked the way her head rested on his chest, enabling her to listen to his strong heartbeat.
By the time they reached her cabin, she was almost asleep as fatigue covered her. Was she really so weak that she needed a man to rescue her, right at this moment: yes, she was. She needed him as much as he had needed her all those months ago when he was stuck in his wolf form. In amongst her roving thoughts, she also came to the conclusion that she was glad he had found her. Because the months of ignoring the pull of him had been almost too much; she didn't know how long she could have gone on with the pretence. It was the very reason she had gone to the gallery. Subconsciously, she had wanted to be found.
Damn that meddling animal of hers.
"Is this where you live?" He stood, holding her close to his chest, still under the cover of the trees.
"Yes. Do you see anyone?" she asked, pulling herself back to reality.
"No. But I think it would be better if I left you here and went to have a good look around. I don’t want you to be in danger."
"I think we should stay together." She wriggled out of his arms and stood leaning on him for a moment. Why did it seem the most natural thing in the world to be here with him? Even though they were in possible danger.
He looked at her and then nodded. "I don't want you to leave my sight. Not now I've found you, so yes, we'll go together." His hand closed around hers and they walked along the fringe of trees that skirted her house, all the time watching for movement. When there was none, they made their way to the back of the house, staying out of sight as much as possible.
Relieved when there seemed to be no one around, Nadine took out her key and unlocked the door. He slipped inside first, not switching on the light, and she followed. Nadine carefully closed the door and then they stood in silence. She listened to the sounds of her house, trying to tell if anything sounded wrong or out of place.
"I don’t think there is anyone here," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"We'll work our way through each room. No lights. OK?"
She nodded, hoping he could see her in the dark room. They moved around the kitchen, past her dining table and then into her small sitting room. Everything seemed the same, from the ticking of the clock to the smell of the flowers in the vase on the coffee table. Going back into the hallway, Kurt began to climb the stairs, her stairs, which led to her bedroom. She swallowed her panic. Having Kurt in her room had been her fantasy for so many restless nights. This wasn't exactly how she had expected tha
t fantasy to play out. Creeping upstairs, afraid of what might be hidden in her closet or under her bed was a childhood nightmare, not an adult reality. This had to be the most bizarre evening of her entire life.
Kurt went from room to room, checking every place a wolf could hide. Only when he was certain there was no one in the house did he release her hand. The light from the moon, shining through the window as it made its way across the sky, showed her his face. The same question was in his expression as was circling around and around in her head. What happens now?
"Thank you, Kurt," she said. "I think perhaps I owe you an explanation."
"You don't owe me anything, other than your name. I would really like to know the name of the woman who brought me back to life."
"Nadine. My name is Nadine Dury."
The whites of his teeth showed when he grinned. "I think I would have traded my soul these last few months to know your name. It's nice to finally meet you at last, Nadine Dury."
"I’m sorry." She hesitated, not ready to tell him the whole truth, but needing to give him something. "I honestly thought you would be better off without me in your life. You were so confused when you changed back. I worried the added stress of having me as your mate might be too much."
"I thought I was mad, that I had dreamed you up. I have painted your face so many times," he said, reaching up and stroking her pale skin. "The flaming red of your hair, the tone of your skin, pale as the moon. And your eyes, the green of mountain meadows. I thought you a figment of my imagination, a coping mechanism when everything seemed so dark, so dull."
"I am real, Kurt. If I hurt you it was unintentional. I only wanted to make things easier for you." She went to him and stood on tiptoes to kiss his lips. Her body forgot its fatigue, all she needed was for him to forgive her, and to accept her, and everything would be right again. The attack by those other wolves would be nothing but a memory, pushed aside by the reality of finally being with her true mate. Would he be able to look past her betrayal; could he still want the women who turned her back on him and ran away?
Redeem the Wolf: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance (Wolf Valley Raiders Book 1) Page 3
