“What is it?”
His voice was just as soft, and I could feel the words against my lips. I hummed and closed my eyes, my body arching on an impulse to be closer to his. I felt his body stiffen, and I let my eyes fly open again, staring into his own.
“Miles, will you help me?”
It was the first time in my life that I had asked for help.
Before, it had been forced on me. Given to me. Offered to me. But never like this, never after I humiliated myself completely like I just had. Hot tears burned the backs of my eyes, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because I was embarrassed, or because I felt so very emotional.
He stared down at me, his mouth opening wordlessly.
“Yes,” he groaned after what felt like an eternity, and my body sagged with relief. “I’ll help you, sugar.”
Espoir, noun
Hope.
She was taking hold of me, and I’d stopped fighting it.
There was no use in denying her electrifying effect on me anymore. I saw it mirrored in her own eyes.
“I would really, really like to fucking kiss you right now,” she said, smiling up at me.
I just then realized the position I’d gotten her into. Her body was underneath mine, her wrists were held down by my own strong fingers. She was trapped, captured. And I couldn’t get enough of the sight of Bebe Hall losing control. It felt like a momentous occasion.
“Except I feel like you might kill me if I do,” Bebe went on, and I grinned at her dangerously close face. “Am I right?”
“Probably,” I said back, my voice rough.
She bit her bottom lip, dragging her teeth across it. The way she drove me crazy was so intense I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back for long. I needed to taste that gorgeous mouth.
Why was I holding back? Why wasn’t I letting myself do this? I’d kissed so many girls before, fucked women whose names and faces I forgot the second they walked out my front door. But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it with Bebe. To Bebe. I would never be able to let go of her the way I had the other girls. I’d cling to her, and she’d be sick of it in a matter of weeks. She’d toss me aside, and I’d be left broken and more bitter than ever.
So it was self-preservation that kept me from taking that final, fateful step. Holding back was hard, but it had to be done.
“How can I convince you?” she asked with a wicked little smile. “I know you really want to.”
“You do?” I asked, lowering my head as I laughed, and realizing just what a mistake that was when I caught the scent of her throat.
It was her perfume mixed with the sweet scent of her skin, so overwhelming I wanted to double over and weep for what I would never have.
“Miles,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Miles, kiss me. You have to kiss me. I’ve been waiting so long for this…”
I stopped staring at the hollow of her throat and raised my eyes to hers, a monumental mistake. Now, I could barely fight the instinct and the rush of adrenaline going through my body, telling me to do it. Succumb. Take my chance. Taste her. Take her. Have her. Forever.
If only it were so easy.
“Please.” Her voice was throaty, raspy. It was turning me the fuck on. “Please, Miles. It’s all I want. I just want to feel your lips on mine. I just want to feel your breath on my lips. I just really, really need to taste you. To feel your tongue. To let you have me. Please, Miles. Please.”
Her eyes were burning, her mouth barely moving, the words coming slowly, softly.
“Please,” she begged one last time, and I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, as simple as that.
Sweetness, such overwhelming sweetness. It took over, fighting the bitter taste of panic in my mouth and winning victoriously. I tasted her like a man possessed, like I’d never been hungrier for anything than I was for that oh so sweet mouth. I would never have enough, and I deepened the kiss because I couldn’t help myself, exploring her mouth and claiming every last inch of her beautiful body as my own pressed down against her.
I felt her inhale beneath me, her heart pounding against my chest as I got on top of her, suddenly so needy, so desperate I was clawing at her, trying to tear her robe off, trying to get to her skin. It was all I needed. More of her. Not fucking fabric, lace or silk be damned. I wanted her. My Bebe. Mine.
“Slow down,” she said desperately against my lips, but I shook my head no and ripped her robe wide open.
Claiming her. Letting her know I wouldn’t let go, no matter who else had, no matter what she thought. I was in it for the long haul. Every lick of her convinced me that this was what I needed. My salvation and my damnation.
“Open wider,” I growled at her, and her lips parted in a soundless gasp.
I couldn’t help myself. I took more and more from her until she was a moaning, dripping little fuckdoll ready to be used. She was begging for me, my name a constant prayer on her lips, her hands clammy as her long nails clawed at me. Whether she was trying to push me off or get closer I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t stop. With every touch and every moan from her lips, I grew more and more addicted. Like a pathetic fucking fool.
“Wider,” I snapped, and she moaned tearfully as my tongue slipped into her throat.
I fucked her with it and she squirmed beautifully beneath me. My tongue claimed her mouth with desperate, needy motions to tell her who she belonged to. And she knew. It was obvious, from the way she wriggled under me to the way she screamed my name against me, either begging me to stop or keep going. It didn’t matter at that moment because I wouldn’t have been able to stop anyway.
I stared down at her, her eyes closed and her chest heaving as I took her, my hard cock pressing between her legs as my body assaulted hers. And suddenly, I felt like shit, like I was taking advantage. Making her do something she wasn’t sure she wanted, forcing myself on her because I was stronger, not giving her a choice.
My body forced itself back, and my mind and dick both roared in protest as I made myself get off the bed and take several steps away. Once again my back bumped against the wall and I took a deep, sharp breath, my head pounding and my eyes finding Bebe’s on that fucking bed, rumpled from our kissing and so fucking inviting I could barely resist its call.
“Come back,” she rasped, kneeling, crawling towards me on the bed, her tits hanging so perfectly. “Come back, now.”
I shook my head no.
“Miles,” she hissed. “I want you NOW!”
I felt my shoulders go back. My jaw set. My hands forming fists, my knuckles turning white.
Bebe saw the change too, and she got off the bed abruptly, coming towards me, a sheet wrapped around her now bared body. I was so distracted by her curves I could barely look into her eyes, but I did my damn best.
“Miles,” she repeated and came closer, each step she took sealing her fate. “Why are you fighting this? I want it. I want you.”
She reached for me. An inch away.
My body reacted the only way it knew how.
I grabbed her outstretched hand with one hand and her hips with the other. She gasped as I turned her around, pushing her against the wall. I let go, my fist connecting with the wall, slamming into brick and paint, smashing a hole in it. Bebe shrieked.
“You. Don’t. Want. This!” I yelled at her, and she whimpered before grabbing my hand.
I didn’t understand.
Why wasn’t she running?
If she knew what was good for her, she should fucking run.
She stared at my fist, my knuckles bloodied and the hole in her wall gaping, not that she gave it a second thought.
“We n-need to clean this,” she muttered. “Fast. I have a first aid kit in—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I groaned, snatching my fist from her. “Just shut up for a second.”
She didn’t even hesitate before stepping on her tiptoes and kissing me. Gently this time. Sweetly. Like an inexperienced little virgin. It drove me fucking wild.
“You won’t scare me off,” she whispered against my lips. “Never ever, Miles.”
“You don’t know that.” My voice was shaky, unsure. I hated myself for it. I felt ashamed.
“I do,” she promised. “I know.”
She spread the fingers on my hands with hers, and her long nails dug into the backs of my hands when she intertwined them. I shivered, the touch so oddly intimate yet satisfying it sent sparks shooting down my spine. I wanted her like this, convincing me that she’d stay, telling me she wanted nothing but me. I was obsessed with the idea, holding onto her without trying to show it and desperate to have more of sweet Bebe Hall.
“I can’t touch you, Bebe,” I admitted, my voice broken.
“You’re touching me right now.” She brushed her lips against my own and I growled into her mouth. “See, it’s not so hard. Your hands on mine… Your lips on mine. One thing at a time.”
I’d never told her the extent of my brokenness, but standing there, in the room alone with her, she seemed to understand me to my very core. She knew why I was hesitating, she got that I was scared. She was understanding, and sweet, and so fucking irresistible it drove me wild. I wanted nothing more than to drive my cock into her pussy. Bare, no condom, make her understand who she belonged to.
She reached down, took the zipper of my jeans in her hand and I froze as it slowly came down. Froze as her hand slipped inside. Almost cried out as her warm fingers wrapped around my cock. I hissed and took a step back, shoving my cock back in my jeans. My heart was pounding like crazy.
“No,” I grunted. “Not yet. I need to watch you. Watching is safer.”
Her face fell, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“For now,” I muttered, and just like that, her pretty smile was back. “Get a toy.”
She rushed to her bedside table and I watched her rummage in it as I sat down on the plush bench in front of her bed. In seconds, she was back, kneeling in front of me with her eyes big and hopeful, full of promises I desperately wanted her to keep. Her eyes found mine as she placed a big purple dildo on my lap.
“Tell me what to do,” she said, and my cock swelled from the pressure of her words, the promise of what she’d do to herself for me thick on her tongue.
“Strip,” I growled.
She didn’t move for a second. She still had a sheet wrapped around her in a makeshift dress, but now I was desperate for it to be off. I wasn’t going to touch her, not yet. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the fucking perfection of her naked body.
Slowly, she untied the sheet around her tits, and let it fall down to the floor. Her body was bared to me now, beautiful in its nakedness and so enticing I had to grip the bench to keep my hands to myself.
“It has a suction cup,” I smiled widely. “That’s good.”
She blushed and looked away. The urge to wrap my fingers around her chin again was strong, but I fought against it, knowing that the second I touched her, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“What do you want me to do, Miles?” she asked sweetly, and I grinned at her, my eyes holding a promise she didn’t understand yet.
“Your mirror,” I rasped. “Put it on, high enough that you can suck it on all fours.”
She shook as she crawled to the mirror. My skin prickled at the view. She was so naturally submissive, not even thinking about getting up to her feet to do as I’d told her. The dildo went up, and she pressed it against the immaculate surface of the silver mirror until it stuck to it.
She looked at me over her shoulder, her eyes holding a question on what to do next.
“Suck it,” I said simply. “Ass towards me.”
Her body was shaking, but she did it. Got on all fours and got to work on the purple monster, her pouty lips wrapping around it, taking in the tip and then the first notch.
“Spread your ass for me,” I breathed, and her hands went behind her, parting herself, baring her cunt and her tight little asshole for me. I groaned at the sight.
“So fucking beautiful,” I muttered. “Such tight little holes you have, sugar.”
She mewled around the dildo, sucking it deeper.
“Come on, let me see how deep you can get it,” I groaned.
The thing was huge, at least six notches, and I knew she couldn’t get the whole thing down her throat. But goddamn, I wanted to watch her try.
She struggled with it, forcing it down her throat, her fingers digging into her butt as she choked herself for me. The sight was fucking incredible, intoxicating. I’d never wanted anything more than I did Bebe in that moment, but I forced myself to stay seated, and rearranged the throbbing dick in my jeans. I was painfully hard, my cock begging to be thrust into her, to feel how her silky pussy wrapped itself around me. But I made myself stay in place, forced myself to wait until she retched, quickly withdrawing from the dildo and staring at me over her shoulder with tears in her eyes. Two strings of saliva hung from her bottom lip, and when her bottom lip trembled, it dripped down her tits.
“Goddamn, Bebe,” I muttered, the struggle not to touch her getting harder by the second. “Goddamn.”
“Please, Miles,” she said, crawling closer. “I so need to fuck.”
“You can fuck,” I growled, and she desperately came closer, but before she could touch me, I held a hand out. “The dildo.”
“Fuck you,” she snarled, and I laughed in her face.
“I want to watch, sugar,” I said roughly. “Let me watch you take it.”
“The whole thing?” she asked needily, and I shook my head with a wicked smile.
“The tip and the first three notches,” I said. “That’s how much you took down your throat, so that’s how much you get to fuck.”
I could see the protest in her eyes, but she bit it back and glared at me for another second before crawling back to the mirror. She positioned herself in front of it, her angry eyes connecting with mine as she pushed onto it, moaning as her pussy wrapped around the purple dildo.
“Watch me,” she ordered, and I grinned.
“No one could stop me right now,” I muttered, and I loved the faint hint of a smile on her face before it broke out into a needy moan.
She fucked the dildo, her tight little cunt making a wet, sucking sound as it took it.
“Fuck it,” I growled. “Fuck it for me, Bebe.”
She bent right over and her nails dug into the hardwood floor and she started slowly riding the dildo until her mouth opened in a surprised little ‘o’. She loved it, just like I knew she would. It was plainly obvious from the tremble in her knees, from the way she licked her lips and the expression in her eyes, devouring me.
I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my hands clasped in front of my face. And I watched her put on a show for me. It was what Bebe did best, after all.
Amour sans fin, phrase
Endless love.
The toy felt cold and slippery inside me. I rode it while I stared into Miles’ eyes, so hungry for more of him I would have done anything just to see that look on his face. Desperation mixing with need, and so much lust it was clouding his vision. It was everything I wanted, and I’d ride myself to tears if it meant getting more of it.
I felt myself drawing close to orgasm, his eyes encouraging me to let go of everything and let my body convulse on the dildo.
“Do… do you want me to?” I managed to get out, and his eyes glinted with need.
“Want you to what, sugar?” he asked.
“Want me to come?” I rasped, my voice reflecting the restraint I was forced to place on myself, because I wouldn’t do it without his permission.
“Of course I want you to come,” he growled, and I let out a sigh of relief, but then he was up on his feet and in one stride his finger was on my lips and he was tilting my chin back, making me look into his eyes. “Not yet, Bebe. You only come with me from now on. No more toys.”
I wanted to scream.
“Let me stop then,” I begged, my ass moving
on top of the toy. “Let me stop, Miles.”
“Stop,” he said simply, and I fell forward on my elbows, groaning when the toy slipped out of my pussy with an embarrassing wet sound.
I crawled to his feet, lying in a heap on top of his gleaming boots. I had the overwhelming urge to lick the smooth black leather, but I fought against it. He’d already humiliated me enough.
“I want to take photos of you,” he muttered, and I looked up at him. “Like this. When you’re a mess. When you’re playing. When you’re mine.”
“Take them,” I whispered, and he reached for his pocket instinctively.
“I don’t have my camera,” he said.
“Take them with your phone,” I whispered.
“I…” He hesitated, staring down at me. For some reason, he didn’t want to do it. He was looking for excuses. I didn’t understand why, but now I was desperate for him to make this moment eternal.
“Please, Miles?” I asked sweetly, getting up on my knees and placing my palms on his thighs. My eyes connected with his, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed thickly. “Please. I want you to have this. Have me. Have everything.”
He brought his phone out of his pocket with shaky fingers and pointed it at me. I sat at his feet demurely, but I couldn’t help the smile making its way on my face as I stared up at him. I heard him chuckle when he took the picture.
“Aren’t you worried I’ll show someone?” he asked, and I gave him a devilish look.
“I know you won’t,” I said. “You’re too jealous.”
He stared me down as I laughed and put my head against his leg.
It was hard to understand Miles completely. Now that he was in my bedroom, though, I was starting to see more and more glimpses into who he actually was. He’d been a different person on the other side of the street. Untouchable, unknown. But he was real now, and it was heart-meltingly sweet and sad at the same time.
His weaknesses were splayed out plainly for me to see. I didn’t know the term for it, but I could see what he struggled with. I now understood why I’d never seen him in a club, or out in the city. He had trouble leaving his home, and he was even restless and shaky in my apartment. He was sensitive. Somehow, I could tell being this close to him was as exciting as it was hurtful for him. But I couldn’t leave, make it easier on him. Not now. I was already too far gone.
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