She nodded.
“I won’t say anything to Boris, but I did leave a horse out in the barn for him.”
“You’re very generous,” she said thoughtfully as she chewed some ham.
“Well, Marda did what I couldn’t and that was to nurse you back to health. For that, I am very grateful and the horse is just a small token of that. I’d leave them money, but there’s not a lot of use for it in these parts so the horse is better.”
“You’re a good man, Cody,” she said seriously. “I wish there was something I could do. I mean, it was for me.”
“Don’t you worry about it, honey. It was for me, too,” he said and kissed her on the cheek.
Marda came back into the kitchen as they were finishing their food, carrying a small white dress. “I don’t know if you’re going to have a girl or a boy, but I want you to have this.”
Suzanne took the fine silk dress from her friend and touched it reverently. “Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said in awe. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome. We were supposed to have our own child christened in it, but that never came to be so maybe you can have your child christened in it instead.”
She looked at her. “What happened?” she asked sympathetically.
“Aw, the little guy died at birth and the doctor told me not to have anymore so…” she trailed off with a melancholy smile.
She hugged her. “I’m so sorry, Marda.”
She hugged her back. “It’s okay. It was a lifetime ago. All we can do is move on.”
“Right,” she said quietly, feeling bad for her friend. She folded the little lacy dress carefully and set it neatly in the bag, meeting Cody’s eyes and giving him a shaky smile.
He ran his hand down her back affectionately and continued to eat as Marda joined them in happy conversation.
Cody cleared the table after they were done despite Marda’s protests. He wanted to give the two women a couple of more minutes together since they’d obviously become fond of each other and would never see each other again.
Suzanne knew he was ready to go and stood up. “Thank you for everything.”
Marda stood too. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Just take care of yourself and the little one.”
“I will,” she promised as she pulled on her fur coat and picked up the bag of clothes and the food.
She hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek then went to Cody, who had already pulled on his coat. “Cody, you handsome hunk of man,” she said jovially with a smile. “Why aren’t I twenty years younger?”
The three of them laughed as she gave him a big hug.
He kissed her on the cheek as he held her. “I probably shouldn’t have done that. You’ve been kissed by an Injun,” he said good-naturedly.
She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him squarely on the lips for a moment and drew away with a smile. “Now, I’ve been kissed by an Injun.”
Everybody laughed again.
She still held Cody by his biceps through the thick coat and gave Suzanne a playful wink over her shoulder. “Don’t you be jealous now.”
She giggled. “I won’t.”
She patted his arms affectionately. “You take care of her and that baby, you hear?”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I won’t let anything happen to either of them,” he promised and hugged her again. “Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie,” she said and stepped out of his arms.
“Are you ready, honey?” Cody asked Suzanne as he took the bags from her.
She nodded. “I guess so,” she said quietly and hugged Marda one more time. “Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Have a safe journey.”
“We will,” she said as she went out the door then took Cody’s arm as he led her across the deep snow to the waiting bay mare that was saddled with Red Dog’s saddle.
Cody loaded her saddle bags with the clothes Marda had given her, then lifted her into the saddle with very little effort. He tied the burlap bag of food to his saddle before easily mounting Titan. “Thank you,” he called to Marda and gave her a wave.
Suzanne did the same and they received a wave and a smile back.
“I guess this is it,” he said with brightness he didn’t feel as he started into the woods with her.
“I guess so,” she said as she followed in the trail that Titan was breaking with his long legs.
Chapter 35
Suzanne’s horse was having trouble getting through the deep snow, even after Titan had plowed a path. She didn’t have the strength or the long legs like he had and was stumbling and sinking to her belly in it.
Cody kept an eye on her and Suzanne and when he finally found a spot that didn’t have so much snow, stopped and got off Titan and went to her and eased her off the horse.
“What are we doing?” she asked him curiously as he carried her to the stallion.
“I think you should ride with me again. The snow is too deep for that horse and you’re getting wet. She’ll have a much easier time without you on her back. Besides, your feet are already wet and so is your dress. I don’t want you getting sick again.”
“Okay,” she said easily and helped herself into Titan’s saddle as he slid her into it.
He swung himself up behind her and impulsively kissed her on the cheek as he gathered the reins. He hugged her as his arms came around her.
He handed her the reins to her horse and started both horses going, Titan still plowing a path for the smaller animal as she trailed them. As they rode in silence, he thought about what was ahead of them. It was more of an unknown than anything and the prospect of losing her made his heart ache. She was going back even if he did want her to stay. A life with her could never be. She had the baby to consider and she put the child above all else just like any normal woman would. He hated like hell to take her back to where he’d found her, but he’d promised her he would and he never broke a promise if he could help it.
Suzanne leaned against him, looking at his leather-gloved hands and thinking they were big. She vaguely remembered her grandfather telling Beau he had big hands and big hands were working hands. Her grandfather had passed away shortly after she and Beau had gotten married so he never knew that Beau’s big hands were also big weapons.
She didn’t miss her husband. She felt a little guilty about it and had tried to keep their happy times in the forefront of her memory, but as time passed, the memories went with it. They’d been so few and far between, she should have clung to them for the sake of their child, but the sad truth was that the pain of living with him far outweighed the pleasure.
The drinking, the women, and the way he spent money was hard to live with. When she’d found out she was pregnant, she was going to leave him and go back to New York. But he’d died too soon and, looking back on it, she knew it had probably been a blessing.
He hadn’t left any money for her, but she was sure she would be okay. She was sure her job was gone now so she would have to find another one and then daycare for the baby. She figured she was going to be a welfare mom for awhile, but would make sure it was only temporary.
“What happened to Mika?” she asked Cody quietly.
He sighed heavily. “She’s in the next world.”
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “She was killed?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.
“Who killed her?”
“It’s hard to say. I found her and buried her.”
“Was she shot?”
“Yes, but by whom, I don’t know,” he said apologetically.
She brushed her tears away. “Why did they kill her? She was just a child.”
“I know,” he murmured and brushed his lips over her teary cheek. “Unfortunately, life for children is hard and uncertain and sometimes they don’t survive.”
She sniffed. “I was hoping one of the Indian families had adopted her or something.”
&nb
sp; He shook his head sadly.
“Did you bury anyone else?”
“No. Just her.”
She could feel his compassion and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Thank you. I would hate to think she was food for the animals.”
“Like you said, she was a child. She’d done no wrong and deserved better than to be left to rot in the sun and be food for the vultures.”
She nodded and brushed away her tears again. “And what of Major Richards?”
“Dead,” he said simply.
“Did you kill him?”
“No. I knocked him out and was going to let him find his way back to wherever he’d come from, but by the time I got back, others had already killed him.”
“Would he have made it if he’d lived?”
“Unlikely,” he said drily.
She thought that was a cruel way to die, but held no malice toward Cody. Richards had been an evil man and had wanted to kill Cody, not to mention he’d tried to kill her too. “Thank you for burying Mika,” she said shakily.
He tightened his hold on her and kissed her on the forehead as she grieved for the child. He was glad she was grieving because nobody else had.
He let her have her time, which wasn’t all that long, and in an effort to lighten her mood, asked her casually, “What are you going to call the baby?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Any suggestions?”
“Not really,” he murmured as he looked around.
“What would you name it if it were a boy?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “I haven’t thought about it,” he lied. He had thought of what it would be like to have her for his wife and to raise the child as his own. He would do it if he were given the chance. But there were to be no chances. This child was going to be born in her world and he would never see it.
“I’ve been thinking of naming him Tristan, after a guy I saw in this movie that I thought was so good.”
“Movie?” he echoed in confusion.
“It’s a play of sorts. Instead of the actors being right there performing, they film it and distribute it all over the world so lots of people can see it at the same time.”
He marveled at that. “Film? Like camera?”
“Something like that, but these cameras show motion and you can hear what the actors say. You can even hear them walk.”
He smiled as he shook his head with bewilderment, not able to imagine what she was describing.
She smiled, too. “It’s pretty cool.”
He’d heard her use that term before and knew it meant ‘very good’ and not that she was cold. “Yes. Pretty cool,” he repeated with a slight smile.
She laughed at hearing him say that. It was so unlike anything he ever said, but it showed his willingness to learn.
He laughed, too. “Cool.”
She laughed even more. “How about this one? Groovy.”
He smiled into her cheery blue eyes. “What is groovy?”
“It’s cool.”
Both of them laughed at that.
“Of course it is,” he said smiling as if the thought of it meaning anything else was ludicrous.
She watched ahead, seeing a clearing. “Nobody says groovy anymore, but it was a popular word back in the sixties.”
“Eighteen sixties?”
“Nineteen sixties. It was a time of revolution and rebellion. What you’re going through now is worse, I think, but in my time, there are wars and people killing each other and big bombs and wars in other countries that we can watch on TV,” she said thoughtfully, wondering if she really wanted to go back to that and wondering how he would survive.
“What’s TV?”
“A big box-like thing that works like the movies, sort of. It’s usually at your house, but they’re most everywhere now.”
He didn’t understand, but let it go.
“Anyway, back in the sixties, people smoked pot and listened to rock and roll music,” she said, trying to get the cheeriness back into the conversation.
“Pot?”
“To you, it’s like peyote. In my world, it’s just plain old pot and it’s against the law in most places to have it, but people do it anyway.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, a couple of times, but it was a long time ago and I don’t want to do it again. It made me feel funny.”
“I suppose it could have that effect if it is like peyote. So, what is this rock and roll music?
“You would have to hear it to believe it,” she said enthusiastically. “Some of it is really good and some of it is really bad. It’s singing, guitars, drums, keyboards, all sorts of stuff being played together and the performers give concerts and thousands of people show up and have a great time. Gatherings like that are called rock concerts, but only if it’s rock music.”
“There’s more?”
“Tons more. There’s country, blues, jazz, new age, reggae. You name it and it’s out there. I just like rock,” she said casually.
“I would like very much to hear this rock music, Suzanne,” he said somberly.
“I would like very much to show you everything, Cody,” she said softly, turning to look at him and ran her mitten over his cheek, inviting him to kiss her which he did, slipping his tongue into her warm mouth. She slipped her hand behind his neck and entwined her tongue with his, reveling in the fact that the man was the most excellent kisser. “Come with me, Cody,” she murmured against his lips, kissing him again.
“I want to,” he whispered to her. “But I don’t know how. I don’t know how we’re going to even get you back. And what if I did make it over? How would I survive?”
“You would survive with me just like I’ve survived with you. I would take care of you until you got used to things,” she said quietly, gazing into his dark eyes.
“I don’t want you to take care of me. If I were to come to your world, I would want to take care of you. Forever. I would want to marry you.”
She shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t. A man like you would have thousands of women beating his door down. What would you want with someone like me?”
“I don’t want someone like you. I want you. I love you, Suzanne,” he exclaimed. “I don’t think you want to believe that, but it’s true. I don’t want any other woman.”
“Cody,” she said patiently. “I don’t think you realize what you say sometimes.”
“Yes, I do. I know exactly what I say and I mean exactly what I say. I’m a straight shooter, you know.”
She nodded, knowing that very well. “Sometimes you can regret what you say and I think if you were to marry me, you would regret the words, ‘I do’.”
“Why?” he asked with exasperation. “What is so terrible about you? I don’t see it. Have we not spent some real time together? Do you think I don’t know you? Do you think you don’t know me? What, Suzanne?” he demanded. “What am I missing?”
“Why are we even talking about this?” she shot back. “We’re not even sure we can have a life together.”
“We can,” he retorted hotly. “We can if we try.”
“How? We don’t know how.”
“We’ll figure it out. There has to be a way. Why would God put you in my life only to snatch you away?” he countered.
“He put you in mine, too and so soon after my husband died and I’m pregnant, too. What am I supposed to think?”
“The same thing I do. That it’s meant to be.”
“I wish it were, but what if it isn’t?”
“It has to be.”
Suddenly a shot rang out and a bullet ricocheted off a nearby rock that was barely visible through the snow on the ground, nearly hitting Titan who whinnied in fear and began to dance around.
Without even thinking, Cody threw Suzanne to the ground and followed her down, covering her protectively with his body. “Oh my God,” he groaned as he buried his face in his arm.
“What?” Suzanne whispered in fear as she trembled under him. “Are you hurt
?”
“No. The damn horses just ran away,” he muttered.
She didn’t dare lift her head in fear that she would be shot even if he was on top of her. “Somebody just took a shot at us and you’re worried about the horses?” she exclaimed in a low voice.
“Maybe I wouldn’t be if they weren’t our only source of transportation and have all of our supplies,” he hissed back at her as he scanned the trees, looking for whoever had fired the shot and saw no sign of anyone. He was acutely aware that there was no place to take cover in the clearing and the nearest grove of trees was behind them and where the shot had come from. He was afraid if he moved, one of them would be shot and he didn’t want her hurt.
“Who shot at us?” she whispered anxiously.
“I don’t know,” he murmured, still looking around. “I need to get you out of the snow,” he said quietly and moved off her. “Stay down,” he whispered as he slowly rose to his feet, pulling one of his six shooters from its holster, slowly pulling the hammer back as he did. He stood aright, waiting for another shot to be fired and when none came, he helped her to her feet. “Come on. I think the shooter is still out there so stay in front of me,” he cautioned as he moved her in front of his body.
She began to walk toward the trees in front of them. “Why are they shooting at us?” she asked fearfully.
“I can only guess. It’s either because of the cavalry being slaughtered by my people or because I’m an Indian with a white woman.”
“I thought you said the cavalry had retaliated.”
“That’s what I was told, but some men just like to kill for the thrill and think Indians have no souls,” he said as he hurried her to the copse of trees.
That disturbed her. Of course everyone had a soul even if some of them were black with anger and hate. She knew the time she was in now had little or no respect for any culture that was different and that Indians had been randomly hunted like animals.
They hadn’t gone far before another shot rang out. Cody was quick and fired back in the direction from which the shot had come, getting a glimpse of a man before he could hide behind another tree. Boris? No. It couldn’t be. Why would he follow them all this way?
For the Love of Suzanne Page 20
