by Liv Brywood
Riley had never seen him so completely out of control. Snarly, demanding, and rough, he pushed her up against the wall. A flutter of nerves morphed into desire when he ripped open her robe. His eyes darkened with lust. Fur sprouted on his hands, but he wasn’t anywhere near shifting. He was holding back the beast, barely.
White-hot heat pooled in her pussy. As he pushed the robe over her shoulders, she shimmied out of it. His hands glided over her stomach with reverence for a moment before he pulled her back into his arms. She couldn’t catch her breath as he invaded her mouth with his tongue.
The slick slide of his tongue across hers ratcheted up her desire. She’d dreamed of being touched like this, but never imagined Jax would be the man to do it. Even after their night of explosive passion, she never expected to be in this position again.
At least this time she didn’t have to think about birth control. She’d stopped it immediately after discovering she was pregnant. Now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry at the irony.
The rollercoaster of emotions continued as Jax stroked and kneaded her ass. His insistent tongue delved in to explore every inch of her mouth. He was all over her at once, practically pawing her, as if consumed by an intrinsic need she couldn’t understand. But maybe she didn’t have to. Maybe meeting him in his dark, carnal world was the only way to move forward.
She bit the edge of his bottom lip and tugged. He growled and thrust his hips forward. The rigid heat from his cock pressed against her hip. She dragged her nails down his back, wanting to tear off his shirt. So why not?
As she shoved him back, her eyes flashed with hunger. She hooked her fingers in the neck of his T-shirt and ripped it open to reveal his chiseled chest. His nipples tightened against the cold. She swooped down to nip and suck one tight peak. When she dragged her teeth across the other, he groaned and laced his fingers in her hair.
He jerked her head back and devoured her neck with his teeth and tongue. She hissed a breath, determined to match his rough onslaught by unleashing her own frustration. That’s what this was, frustration. They’d been dancing around each other for years until one fateful night when they’d fucked up. Now they had to face the consequences. Together.
She clawed his shoulders before raking her nails across his belly. He growled as she unbuttoned his jeans. She looked him right in the eye, challenging him to stop her. He wouldn’t. He wanted this as bad as she did.
When she freed his cock from his boxers, he released her long enough to shove the last bit of clothing off. They stood chest to chest, naked and breathing hard. It only lasted a moment before he turned her around and grabbed her arms. He pinned them behind her back and walked her toward the wall.
“Spread your legs,” he whispered in a gruff voice.
Her body quivered as she followed his command. Without warning, he pressed his cock into the groove of her ass. When he released her hands, she reached up and gripped the wall. He wrapped one hand around her throat while reaching to stroke her soaked pussy with the other.
“You like that, don’t you?” he growled. “You’re a dirty girl.”
“Oh, God.”
“You want my cock inside you, right?”
“Yes. Oh God, yes.”
He tightened his grip on her neck just enough to make her heart race and her stomach drop. She’d never been manhandled like this before, but she liked it. She’d done this to him. She’d made him lose control. Her!
The tip of his cock pressed against her pussy lips. As she squirmed, her juices ran down the inside of her thighs. He surged into her so hard that the sudden invasion stole her ability to breathe. A quick pant later, and she was struggling to stay upright.
He drilled into her with swift, rough thrusts. Each sweep of his cock into her tight channel brought her closer to the edge. She gasped as he reached around to stroke her clit.
“When you come, it’s because I want you to come,” he growled.
“Jax.”
“That’s right, baby. I want you screaming my name. I want you to know who you belong to.”
“Oh God.”
“Say it,” he demanded.
Her brain was so jumbled she wasn’t sure how the hell she was supposed to respond, so she cried out instead.
“I want you to come on my cock,” he snarled. “I want you to remember that you’re mine, and mine only.”
“Jax!”
The sound of his thighs slapping against the backs of hers filled the bathroom. His heavy grunts and animalistic hisses invoked a wildness in her. The building tension in her core coiled tighter with each brush of his fingers across her clit. Splotches of gray darkened her vision. Blood pounded through her veins. Her knees shook until she could hardly stay upright.
“Come for me, baby. Come all over my dick.”
She exploded. Pulsing waves of release whirled out from her pussy. A shockwave of ecstasy vibrated throughout her entire body. She jerked like a marionette. Jax held the strings on the tips of his fingers. His unrelenting thrusts smashed her against the wall as her legs finally gave out.
Caught up in a rush of emotions, a wave of love burst from her heart. She never wanted to admit it to anyone, not even herself. But she was completely in love with him. The realization pushed her to new heights. She cried out his name over and over as new twitches of ecstatic bliss shimmied out from her clit.
Behind her, his breath came in short blasts. He pounded her harder, faster, deeper, until her eyes rolled back and she screamed. Spurts of cum burst into her pussy. He snarled and sunk his teeth into her shoulder. But unlike last time, he didn’t let go. He held on, still fucking her until she came again. The muscles in her neck clenched in time with her mouth. She violently jerked against him until finally collapsing.
He slid out and scooped her into his arms. He spread soft kisses across her face as he took her into the bedroom. After laying her on the bed, he crawled up next to her. He pulled her into his arms and held her. His body trembled. His heartbeat sounded against her ear. As he drew one shaky breath after another, she stroked his arm with her fingers.
“Jax?”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry. I never get like that,” he said.
“I liked it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It was…hot…and wild. Kind of like you,” she said.
“That’s me,” he murmured.
Wild. Untamed. Unable to commit to anything or anyone. That was Jax all right.
As her pulse returned to normal and her mind cleared, she realized she was right back where she started. Cuddled up to a man who never wanted to put down roots. He wasn’t the type to want a wife or kids. That why he was so angry with her. It wasn’t just that she’d waited to tell him, it was that he had no control over the situation.
Even if he tried to pretend that he wanted to have a relationship with her, it would all be a big lie. She couldn’t domesticate him any more than anyone else. It was pointless to even try. The most she could hope for was that he’d at least help her with the baby. She didn’t expect anything more from him.
***
Jax tucked the blanket around Riley’s shoulders. He padded across the room to get some water before crawling back into bed. The soft rise and fall of her belly warmed his heart. She was carrying his baby. He was going to be a dad. God, a dad. Was he even ready to be a father?
He shook his head. It didn’t matter if he was ready or not. His son would be coming into this world whether or not he was ready for him. The enormity of the shift that was about to take place in his life nearly overwhelmed him.
Unable to sleep, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his clothes. He needed to think and he couldn’t do that with her curvy butt rubbing against his thigh.
Downstairs, he wandered the casino. At 3 am, the patrons consisted of drunk party girls and addicts who couldn’t hit the slot machines buttons fast enough. Desperation hovered over their bent hea
ds. By morning, they’d be broke. But where would he be?
“Jax!” a male voice called.
He turned to find Lewis from the Mt. Charleston wolf pack striding toward him.
“Hey.” Jax gave him a bro hug. “What are you doing up so late?”
“My mate and kids were going stir crazy, so we came down the mountain to play around in the casino. The kids were at the pool all day and Carla was at the spa. It cost me a fortune, but happy mate, happy life.”
“Were you heading to the poker room?” Jax asked.
“No. I checked and the games are dead right now. Not enough money on the table to make it worth sitting. I was going to the bar. What are you doing up so late?” Lewis asked.
“Contemplating the rest of my life.”
“Sounds heavy. Want to grab a beer?”
“Yeah.”
They walked over to the nearly empty bar and grabbed a couple of stools.
After ordering, Lewis turned to Jax. “So what’s up?”
“Do you remember that woman I told you about when I was up with your pack?”
“Yeah. Riley, right?”
“Yeah. She’s pregnant.” Jax grabbed his beer the second the bartender set it on the coaster.
“I’m guessing it’s your baby.”
“Yep.”
“I’d say congratulations, but you’re clearly not happy,” Lewis said.
“She just told me a couple of hours ago. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. I don’t even know what to think.”
“I didn’t realize you were dating. I thought she was just a friend.”
“She is…was…Things got out of hand one night and we had sex,” Jax said.
“Rubber break?”
“No rubber.”
“Well there’s your first problem,” Lewis said.
“She said she was on birth control.”
“They all do.”
“I believe her. She wouldn’t have lied about that,” Jax said.
A few hours ago he’d questioned whether or not she’d lied, but he knew better. Riley wasn’t an irresponsible person. She never would have told him she was taking the pill if she wasn’t.
“What are you going to do about the baby?” Lewis asked.
“I don’t know.” Jax took another swig of beer. “I never thought of myself as a family man.”
“I never did either until I met Carla. We met at a scenting ceremony. My wolf took one whiff of her cute little butt and I was whipped. I married her six months later and we’ve got two little monsters now.”
“Don’t you ever miss your freedom?” Jax asked.
“Sometimes. But when I see her beautiful face and our kids, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“I just never had that vision for my life,” Jax said. “I wanted to be a rambling gambler, not a tied down husband.”
“If that was really true, you wouldn’t be stressed out right now. You’d already be gone. But you’re still here. So part of you likes the idea of having a family,” Lewis said.
“I guess you’re right. That’s the thing. Riley’s amazing. She’s been my best friend for years, but I never thought of her as anything more.”
“Never?” Lewis asked.
“Okay, maybe I pictured her naked a few times.”
Lewis laughed. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
“She’s an incredible woman. She’s smart, funny, and sexy as hell.”
“So what’s the problem? Does your wolf like her?” Lewis asked.
“Hell yeah. He says she’s our mate.”
“You can’t argue with that. The wolf always knows.”
“I know. It’s just…I never even considered having a kid or a family. I’m not ready for this,” Jax said.
“No one is ever ready for kids. They come along and upend your life.”
“Sounds fun,” Jax grumbled.
“When you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, it’s the most incredible feeling in the world. You’ll forget all about wanting freedom because you’ll find it with your family. There’s nothing more freeing than knowing that you have a mate who has your back. I thought my life was good before Carla, but I was so wrong. I was just existing then. Now I’m living.”
“I guess I’ll have to experience it to believe it.”
“Look at it this way: Can you picture life without her? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen if you can’t man-up and take responsibility for your family. Whether you like it or not, she’s your mate and she’s having your baby. What’s the problem anyway? She’s hot, she’s sweet, and she’s been your friend for years. Fate had to hit you upside the head with a baby to make you see what’s always been there.”
“I just don’t want to mess up her life. Or mine for that matter,” Jax said.
“You’re scared. I get it. I was terrified when I found out Carla was pregnant. But are you going to let fear control your life? Or are you going to finally going to acknowledge the love you share with your mate?” Lewis asked.
“I don’t have a pack right now,” Jax said. “Kids need to be raised in a pack with other wolf shifters. I can’t give her that.”
“Sure you can. You’re welcome to join my pack. You’re a good man. I think you love her and you’re just scared. Get over it. I promise you that it’ll be worth it.”
“You’re probably right,” Jax said.
“Of course I’m right.” Lewis laughed. “When you’re ready to come to your senses, come on up to the den and I’ll introduce you to the pack.”
“You haven’t even met my mate. How do you know we’ll be a good fit for the pack?” Jax asked.
“How long have we known each other?”
“Not long.”
“Doesn’t matter. I can tell that you’re a good guy. I’d be happy to have you in my pack.” Lewis slid off the stool and tossed a few bills on the bar to cover his tab. “We’ll be back at the den tomorrow, but come around whenever you want.”
“Sounds good.”
After Lewis left, Jax nursed the rest of his beer. He ran through their conversation over and over. He was still scared, but he couldn’t imagine life without her. He loved her. Maybe he always did. And no amount of fear was going to stop him from claiming his mate.
He paid his tab and hurried back upstairs. As he slowly crawled into bed beside her, she sighed in her sleep and rolled toward him. A soft wave of golden hair spread across her shoulder. He caressed a silky lock, then smiled. Why had he spent so much time resisting the inevitable? They belonged together. He couldn’t wait to tell her his plan for their family.
When she finally woke up just before noon, he leaned over to kiss her. Still half-asleep, she yawned mid-kiss.
“The kiss was that boring, hmm?” he asked in a joking tone.
“No. I’m just so tired all the time.”
“It’s the baby. He’s going to be a shifter, so he’ll require a lot of energy to grow,” he said.
She sat back against the headboard and rubbed her eyes. She glanced at the window. A thin crack of sunlight streamed through a gap between the drapes.
“It’s morning,” she said. “You’re still here.”
“Of course I’m here.” He laughed. “Where else would I be?”
“I just thought you’d be gone when I woke up.”
His heart skipped around in his chest.
“Why would I be gone?” he asked.
“Because… that’s what you do. You never stay for the morning after,” she said. “So I didn’t expect you to stay today.”
He frowned. Did she really think so little of him?
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I won’t need a lot of money to take care of him. Of course we’ll work out visitation, if you want it. But if not, I understand.”
“Visitation? What are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to pretend to want to be in your child’s life. I won’t force you to do anything. I just ask that you help pay some of t
he bills so I’m not completely stressed out.”
“Honey…” He scooted closer to her. “I would never let you raise him alone. Shifters are a handful. You’re going to need a lot of help. Besides, I thought we’d be raising him together.”
“You’ll resent me if I force you to settle down. Your wanderlust is stronger than mine. I can’t ask you to put down roots, buy a house, and set up a white picket fence for me. I’m pregnant, but not helpless.”
“You don’t have any friends,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that,” he grumbled.
“You’re right. I am alone. But I’ve been alone my whole life. My parents can’t even take care of themselves, let alone me. I basically raised myself, and I’ve been on my own ever since. I’m nothing if not resourceful. I’ll figure this out.”
“Riley…” He took her hand in his. “I don’t want you to do it alone. I want to be by your side.”
“We’re not even friends anymore. We haven’t spoken in weeks. To be honest, I wasn’t sure you were ever going to speak to me after that night.”
“What night?” he asked, confused.
“The night we…we… had sex,” she said.
“I didn’t know what to say. I waited for you to bring it up, but you didn’t, so I figured you didn’t want to talk about it. But the longer we went without talking, the more I wanted to find out what you were feeling. I tried to pick up the phone a hundred times, but…honestly…I was afraid that our night together didn’t mean anything to you.”
“How many women have you been with?” she asked.
“How is that relevant?”
“You have a pattern of no-strings-attached sex with women. I just thought I was another knot in the rope.”
“You make it sound like I’m trying to hang myself,” he said.
“Maybe you are. I don’t know. All I know for sure is that we need to be honest with each other. You’re not exactly father material.”
He reeled back as if she’d punched him in the face.
“Based on what?” he asked.
“You don’t even have a house. You travel from game to game, from country to country, always chasing the next tournament high.”
“You do the exact same thing,” he pointed out.
