by Desiree Holt
“You’re right. Of course.” His voice softened.
“Listen, let me call you back. There’s a call coming in, and I’m sure it’s Lindsey. Do you know what she wants?”
“She and Nick want us to come out to the ranch tomorrow for lunch.” He paused for a moment. “And bring the child, I suppose.”
Or what? Lock her in a closet for the day?
“That sounds terrific. Let me take this call.”
“Go ahead. I’ll be home about six. I’ll pick up Chinese take-out.”
He disconnected, and Sarah pressed the icon to accept Lindsey’s call.
“I’m sorry if I created an uproar,” Lindsey said. “When I told Reno there was no answer at the house, he went ballistic.”
“It’s all this business with Aguilar,” Sarah explained. “And I should have given you my cell number the other day.”
“Maybe he thought you’d had second thoughts, run off and left him.” She laughed. “It would serve him right.”
After last night, Sarah could believe it. “No such luck. I’m still here.”
“Anyway, he may have already told you, but I wanted to invite you to the ranch tomorrow. Nick wants to barbecue ribs, and he’s got enough to feed a regiment of Marines. What do you say, about one o’clock? We’ll eat around four.”
“That sounds great. Can I bring anything?”
“Just yourselves. See you tomorrow. We’ll have fun.”
****
Across town, in his brother’s condo, Reno Sullivan stared at his cell phone, then shoved it into his pocket, feeling like a fool and an idiot.
Tony scowled at him, apparently having heard one side of the phone conversation. “Well, that went well,” he commented. “I thought you were going to bite her head off. That should endear you to her. Don’t you think you should go home? You’ve been pacing and fidgeting all morning.”
This morning, climbing out of the bed he’d grown to hate, Reno had felt suffocated even as his body experienced an unfamiliar emptiness. Unnerved by his actions the night before and fighting a new assault of thoughts and emotions, he’d pounded on Tony’s door when the sun was barely in the sky.
Now Tony pretended to read the paper, watching his brother but keeping his mouth shut while Reno alternately paced and threw himself into an easy chair.
“I had to get out of the house.”
“You just got married, and you’re spending the day with me?” Tony stared, incredulous. “Are you nuts?”
“This is going to be harder than I thought.” He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands.
“Especially if you keep running away from home,” Tony pointed out.
“Can it, will you? This morning I felt I’d choke if I didn’t get away.”
Tony quirked an eyebrow. “Is there something going on here I don’t understand?”
“I don’t know. I’m trying to make this work. Everything’s just…weird. I can’t explain it.”
“So you’re hiding here with me?” He shook his head, a grin teasing his mouth. “God, you do have a problem.”
“People tell me that a lot lately.” He leaned his head back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to yell at her. I just didn’t know where she was. I thought…she’d left.”
“With or without Molly?” Tony put the paper down. “Did you do something to piss her off?”
Reno was silent, staring out across the balcony.
Tony snapped his fingers. “You want to have sex with her, don’t you? That’s it. Ha! I knew that ball of ice where your dick is would melt sooner or later.”
“Just shut up, okay?”
“Jesus, it’s not a sin to fuck your wife. Maybe she’d even be willing.”
Reno glared at him. “I said shut up.”
“Fine. Tell me. Don’t tell me. But whatever it is, you’ll have to deal with it sooner or later.”
After a while, Tony made sandwiches, and they ate them on the balcony, Reno still brooding and Tony watchful.
“You think I’m a real jerk, don’t you?” Reno asked after a long time.
“Sometimes,” Tony said with irritation. “Listen, nobody knows more than I do what you’ve been through. But you can’t keep running away from your life.”
He let out a whoosh of air. “It doesn’t seem to do much good, does it?”
“Nope. And you married a woman most men would snap up in a hot minute. You need to go home and figure out what you’re going to do. So why don’t you see if you can make this a real marriage?”
That was exactly what he wanted to do. Run home and carry Sarah off to his bedroom. But he was sure he’d really screw himself over if he did that. He couldn’t figure out where all this was coming from when he’d been prepared to live like a monk for the rest of his life. He was afraid to acknowledge the undercurrent of desire that swelled every time he looked at Sarah. Or the dreams that plagued him. What the hell was he going to do about it?
He sat out on the balcony long after Tony had gone inside. His mind was such a jumble he wondered if he’d ever get it straightened out.
Tony was watching a baseball game when Reno went back into the living room.
“I guess I need to go home,” he ventured.
“No kidding. Don’t forget, you promised Sarah you’d bring dinner.”
****
Sarah was upstairs bathing Molly when she heard the garage door open and close. In a few minutes, she heard Reno clear his throat. Looking over her shoulder she saw him standing in the door to the bathroom, watching her. He looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know quite what to do with himself. After a moment, he walked to the other side of the bathroom where the baby would be out of his line of sight. She’d sympathize with him if she knew what the hell his problem was. Without information she had to tamp down her irritation.
He cleared his throat. “I owe you an apology.”
“Yes, you do,” she said, not turning to look at him, her voice very calm. “Which particular thing are you apologizing for—running off for the day or shouting at me on the telephone? I’ll take either one.” She carefully avoided mentioning the scene from the night before.
“Both, as a matter of fact.” He leaned against the wall. “I was stupid and thoughtless today. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.”
“Fine.” She ignored him while she diapered Molly and dressed her for the night. “I just fed her, and I need to give her a bottle. I’m hoping she’ll sleep through the night again.”
“I’ve got food downstairs,” Reno said. “I’ll get it ready to heat in the microwave.”
Molly’s eyelids were drooping by the time the bottle was finished. Laying the little girl down in the crib, Sarah switched on the mobile. Then, after turning out all the lights except the night-light, she forced herself to go downstairs.
In the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water, leaned against the counter and eyed her husband. The air between them crackled.
“Everything’s heated,” he said, indicating the array of white cartons on the table. He’d also gotten out plates and silverware.
Good. Apparently, he wasn’t going to mention last night either.
“Then why don’t we eat? I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.”
They ate in a silence filled with electricity and tension. At last, Sarah put down her fork and looked at him. “I don’t know what’s going on here, Reno. There’s a lot you haven’t bothered to tell me. Of course, that’s your choice. But there’s so much tension in the air you could slice it.”
He watched her through narrowed eyes, saying nothing.
She hoped he couldn’t see the slight trembling in her hands. “Whatever it is, don’t you think you should accept the fact that everything’s got to come out sooner or later? The appropriate time will make itself known, but I wouldn’t wait too long if I were you.”
Panic flashed across his face. “Sarah, please, I—”
“Not
now. I’m really tired. I think I’ll go on upstairs.”
She walked out of the room with dignity, leaving a frustrated Reno behind. But no more frustrated than she was. Secrets were going to kill them if she couldn’t find a way to break down the wall he’d built. And she’d better do it before it collapsed on them, destroying everything.
****
Sunday morning heralded another bright and beautiful day. With Reno hiding in his den, Sarah took advantage of the early morning cool to push Molly around the block in her stroller again. It wasn’t the relaxing walk it would have been under other circumstances, wondering if every car that passed or every stranger on the sidewalk was danger. She made sure she could access her gun in seconds if she needed to. She just hoped they caught the damn man soon.
She fixed sandwiches for lunch, but when Reno didn’t emerge from his self-imposed exile, she left his food on the counter and went upstairs to dress herself and the baby for the afternoon.
They said very little to each other on the drive to the Vanetta ranch. Molly was wide awake, for which Sarah gave thanks. That meant the baby would nap during the afternoon. Sarah felt as if the trip was thirty hours long instead of thirty minutes and sighed with relief when they drove down the narrow road and pulled up before the ranch house.
“My God, Lindsey, this is gorgeous,” Sarah said when the Vanettas came out to meet them. She sniffed the air, a heady mix of prairie grass, hay, horseflesh, and leather.
Lindsey grinned. “We love it here. Nick was a city boy all his life, but now he wouldn’t live anywhere else.”
The afternoon proved a respite for Sarah. She and Lindsey sat on the porch drinking lemonade and eating sugar cookies baked by Mary, the Vanettas’ housekeeper. Jason, the Vanettas’ one-year-old child, sat in the playpen burbling to himself and playing with his toys. Molly napped in the portable crib Lindsey had set up.
Nick and Reno headed out the back door. Sarah sat up in surprise when she saw Emilio, Mary’s husband, lead two horses from the stable as the two men approached.
“I didn’t know Reno could ride,” she commented.
“He rides a lot when he comes out here. Says it works out the cobwebs.”
Sarah eyed her husband carefully as he and Nick swung into their saddles. In his faded jeans, denim shirt, and scuffed boots, he looked every inch the cowboy, sitting on the horse as if he’d been doing it for years. Her breath caught in her throat, and she forced herself to swallow hard. No sex, they’d agreed, and after last night, she needed to make sure she didn’t give him the wrong signals. Why had her body chosen this particular time to decide to come out of the deep freeze?
She tried to focus on conversation with Lindsey, but her mind kept drifting. She was glad when the men returned and Mary announced it was time to eat.
They had dinner at a picnic table under a huge oak tree, the heat of the day fading and the huge oaks providing a leafy canopy against the sun. Despite the fact they had Molly with them, Reno seemed more relaxed, more at ease, sprawled in a chair as he laughed and joked. His enjoyment was evident in his body language and his easy conversation. Sarah almost regretted when it was time to leave.
By the time she settled the baby in her crib at home, Reno had once again gone directly to his den. Avoiding the issue, she told herself, but she was grateful not to have to deal with the awkwardness tonight. Sighing as she climbed into bed, she wondered what was going to happen to this relationship that seemed to be turning itself upside down.
He still hadn’t taken down the invisible walls around his bedroom, seeming to be much more comfortable in her room. And bed…
By now, she was familiar with his body as he was with hers. Foreplay didn’t require testing and experimentation anymore. Now they remembered which touches elicited the sounds of pleasure, which ones brought forth the most heated response.
Sarah loved when he took her nipples in his mouth as he was doing now, sucking on them and biting them gently until they were aching and swollen, each touch sending darts of pleasure through her body. His warm hands cradled each plump breast, kneading them while he drew on her tips, knowing the effect it had on her and chuckling softly against her flesh.
His mouth moved farther down her body, trailing wet kisses to her navel where he circled the indentation with the tip of his tongue. But when she tried to urge him lower, he moved his head completely and placed soft kisses at the crook of each elbow and the soft inner side of each wrists. Not until Reno had she realized how many erogenous zones lurked on her body.
“Reno.” His name rolled from her lips on an urgent sigh.
“Tell me what you want,” he commanded, his mouth just above the curls on her mound.
“You know,” she whispered. “You always know.”
“Tell me,” he repeated.
Sarah licked her lips. He always liked to hear her say it aloud. “Suck my pussy. Lick me with your tongue. Please.” This last a little more frantic.
His low chuckle had a hoarse sound to it. “Right now.”
He opened her labia as if he were unwrapping a present and lapped at her flesh as if he were a man dying of thirst. Darting inside her quivering channel, then out, then in, then tracing the entire length of her slit. Her hands fisted in the sheet as pleasure raced through her in a rush of heat. Her hips automatically lifted to urge him on more and more. When he slid two, then three fingers into her waiting cunt and closed his lips around her clit, it took barely one or two movements before her orgasm crested and rippled through her like waves crashing on a shore.
Sarah bucked against his mouth and hands, barely recognizing the keening sound low in her throat as spasm after spasm rocked her. The more she convulsed, the more rapidly Reno moved his fingers in and out and the harder he sucked on her clit, until he’d wrung the last drop of liquid and the last spasm of response from her convulsing body.
“Did you like that?” he asked, his words uneven.
“Yes.”
Before she could say more, he’d rolled on a condom and slid inside her. She loved the fullness of the feeling, the pleasure that shot through her body. And despite the fact that he’d just wrung an intense orgasm from her, she was riding the crest with him again and tumbling over the edge.
Afterward he caught his weight on his forearms and kissed her with infinite tenderness.
“Now you are truly mine.” His voice was ragged as he labored to breathe, but his words were firm. “Mine.”
“Yes. I am.” She reached her arms up to him and…
The sensation of falling woke Sarah. When she could brush the cobwebs from her brain, she realized the dream had been so real she’d reached for Reno and nearly fallen out of bed. She rolled back onto the tangled bedclothes and pressed her hands to her hot cheeks.
Hell!
This was really getting out of hand, but what could she do? How was she supposed to stop it?
****
She woke in the morning more tired than when she went to bed. This time the erotic dream was even more graphic than previous ones. She swore she could feel the imprint of Reno’s hands on her breasts and thighs, feel his semen on her skin, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, there were no visible marks. Nothing there. Only an insistent throbbing that demanded release.
She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror.
What’s happening to me? I never had dreams like this about Mike.
Or this kind of sex with Mike, if she were honest. She shivered, hoping cold showers would work as well for her as she heard they did for men.
For the rest of the week, Reno made it a point to avoid her. He left early each morning before she was up, calling during the day to check on her in a very formal voice and telling her he would work late and eat dinner out. Well, he’d hired her to be a single mother, and it seemed that was exactly what she’d turned out to be.
Sarah longed to use Lindsey as a sounding board, but the situation was too intimate to discuss. She would have felt uncomfortable sharing t
he details, so she kept everything locked inside and wondered how she and Reno were ever going to find some kind of even footing.
****
Reno threw himself into the routine at the office. If he’d worked with a frenzy before, now he was in overdrive. No one had any idea the agony he was suffering, sitting in his office long after others had left, staring out the window into the darkened night, wondering what he was going to do.
At odd moments, in the office or in meetings, he found his thoughts drifting and images of Sarah would flit across his mind. She moved with such a graceful economy of movement, always in control, the light scent of her perfume an aura around her. He didn’t trust himself to go home to her, to be alone with her.
Added to that was the constant worry about Luis Aguilar. He called Balenger twice, but the man had nothing to report. Aguilar seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth. Reno knew the cartel leader had people everywhere willing to hide him and help him. This waiting for the other shoe to drop was excruciating.
On the other hand, his original idea seemed to be working, because it was obvious Molly adored her. He heard baby sounds that, if she were older, could be construed as words until he wanted to scream. It just wasn’t fair. He had what most men dreamed about—a gorgeous wife and an adorable child—and he couldn’t bear to be around one or trust himself with the other. Now, in addition to the child, he had to stay away from his wife.
Sometimes, when he climbed the stairs late at night, he’d pause at the door of Sarah’s room, the way he had that first time, and watch her sleeping. He gave thanks she couldn’t see the enormous erection that sprang to life just by looking at her. How had he gotten himself into this mess?
When he couldn’t stand there anymore, he would go to his room, lie in the bed he hated, and stay awake until dawn, anguishing over his stupidity and his mistakes and his raw hunger for what might have been.
****
Friday afternoon, while Molly was napping, Sarah poured herself a glass of iced tea and took a new book and the baby monitor out to the patio. It was another gorgeous Texas spring day, and she didn’t want to be cooped up in the house. The sun was warm, the breeze like a soft caress on her face, and she slowly began to relax. She was so engrossed in reading, she didn’t hear Reno come out of the house.
