by Desiree Holt
“If I just knew what he was hiding…” She shook her head. “What is so awful that he can’t tell me about it? Why does he hate Molly so much? Why did he get so drunk? Why couldn’t he just come to me and…” Sarah drew in a calming breath.
I will not break down. There’s been enough tears. I am going to be strong for me and Molly. And maybe eventually Reno, if he will ever open that door.
“Stop. Not another word. You need some space to think, and the ranch is just the place for that. So let’s get going.”
“But Nick will be there and…”
“Sarah.” Lindsey took Sarah’s hands and pulled them away from her face. “Nick is one of the gentlest, most sensitive people in the world. He has his own history. I guarantee you he will go out of his way to respect your privacy and make you feel comfortable.” She chuckled. “On the other hand, if I don’t have any success with you, he’s going to come here, throw you over his shoulder and drag you out to the ranch himself.”
Sarah smiled weakly at the thought.
“All right.” Lindsey wiped Molly’s face and hands and lifted the little girl out of the highchair, handing her to Sarah. “Tell Emilio where the luggage is so he can bring it upstairs. We’re going to pack whatever you need for a few days for you and Molly. What we forget we can buy. And don’t argue with me. Stress isn’t good for a pregnant woman.”
Sarah had to admit getting away from the house would be a relief. She needed to sort out her feelings. The ranch was such a soothing place to be, and it would be great for Molly.
“You’re right,” she said, giving in. “The luggage is in the garage. If you can keep Molly busy, I’ll get us packed.” She handed Molly back and hugged her friend. “Thanks. I don’t… I just…”
“It’s all right. You don’t need to say anything else.”
Mary was waiting for them when Emilio brought the suitcases into the ranch house. She reached at once for Molly, who smiled and gurgled at her. The woman gave the little girl a warm smile.
“She hasn’t had her nap today,” Sarah told her.
“We’ll take care of that right now. We’ll just get her into bed, and she’ll go off like a rock. If you want to come up with us, Mrs. Sullivan, I’ll show you how the room is fixed, and you can let me know if you need any changes.”
“Sarah. Please call me Sarah.” Formality certainly wouldn’t work in this situation. She hugged Mary. “And thank you so much.”
She was touched at the trouble they’d gone to, trying to make her comfortable. Lindsey’s old bedroom was huge, with a king-sized bed and a large dresser. The crib was set up close to the bed and even had a mobile attached to it. Jason’s old changing table was set up in a corner and Mary had stocked it with everything she’d need. Fresh flowers stood in a vase on the dresser and a stack of mysteries sat on the bedside table. There was even a rocking chair. Sun poured in through the oversized windows, giving everything a warm glow.
Sarah was overwhelmed. She could feel the tears starting again. “I don’t know what to say except thank you.”
Lindsey took Sarah’s arm and steered her to the door. “Why don’t you let Mary put Molly down, and we’ll go dig into the pot of hot chocolate that’s waiting.”
Lindsey carried the tray with the mugs and a plate of Mexican wedding cookies into the living room, where Emilio had built a fire that now roared and crackled in the fireplace. Sitting on the big couch, she patted the cushions for Sarah to sit next to her. “Just kick back and relax, okay?”
****
Time passed in a blur for Sarah. Her mind was as battered as her body. She was so cold on the inside she didn’t think she’d ever get warm again, yet she sat outside, rocking on the porch in the chilly weather.
“Something hot for you.”
She hadn’t even heard Mary come out.
The woman pressed a cup of hot chocolate into her hands. “You should come inside, though.”
Sarah shook her head. “I’m fine. Really.” But she wasn’t, and they all knew it.
Nick tiptoed around her when he came home later. Sarah saw him whispering to Lindsey, sure they were discussing Reno, but she couldn’t find it in her at the moment to ask about him. She needed to get her brain and her emotions straightened out before she could move forward.
“Is she okay?” Sarah overheard him ask Lindsey in a low voice. “She hardly says a word.”
“She needs to work this out herself,” Lindsey whispered back. “She’ll talk when she’s ready. I’ll make sure of it.”
They all left her pretty much alone, watching her wrestle with her feelings. And she said little as she kept to herself. She responded politely when spoken to, but other than that, she said nothing.
After dinner the next night, Sarah pulled on her jacket and went out on the porch again. She’d finally reached a point at which she could go no further. Her mind was paralyzed with the necessity to make some decisions, but she couldn’t focus on what they should be.
In a minute, Emilio came out and sat down in the other rocker. He rocked silently with her for a minute before he started to speak. “You know, Sarah, life is full of challenges. Every day, we make decisions that affect us and the people around us. We just hope for the best. My parents lived in a little town in Mexico I’m sure you’ve never heard of. We were dirt poor, scrabbling out a living. There were seven of us kids to support. We all worked from the minute we were old enough, but our parents still insisted we all go to school and to church every Sunday.
“They loved each other very much. They just weren’t very good at saying the words. But we saw it in the way they treated each other and the love they passed along to us.” He stopped for a minute, as if gathering his thoughts. “One time, something happened between them. None of us knew what it was, but we heard angry words, long into the night. Then my father stomped out of the house, slamming doors on the way.
“In the morning, when he came back, they acted as if nothing had happened, but we all knew. We never found out what caused the argument, only that it was so bad my mother stopped speaking to him. All those good years together down the drain.
“After that they might as well have been two strangers under the same roof. No matter what he did, she turned him away. You could look into her eyes and see that, whatever it was, it had bruised her soul.
“Then one day, my father came down with the flu, and, bang, just like that he was gone. My mother mourned every minute, not just for his death but also for what she’d wasted by never healing the breach between them. She died a year later. We always believed it was because her heart was broken. Don’t let your heart break, Sarah. Reno is a good man. I don’t know the whole story here, and I don’t want to. But if you don’t deal with it, you’ll never get past it, your life will be gone and maybe you’ll have missed something very important.”
He stood up, went to her rocker, and patted her shoulder.
His touch unlocked the floodgates. She began to cry in huge, rasping sobs, her body shuddering and her cries those of a wounded animal. Emilio just kept his arm on her shoulder and let her weep. She heard Nick come to the door and speak to Emilio, who waved him away.
Finally, when she was totally exhausted, when there were no more tears to cry, she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and sat back. “Emilio, I…”
“That’s okay, Sarah.” He was a solid presence next to her. “I know.”
“Would you please ask Lindsey to come out here?” She sniffled and blinked her eyes. “I think I’m ready to talk now.”
“Why don’t you come inside, and I’ll chase Nick upstairs. Mary and I are going to our own place next door, and he can keep an ear out for the kids. I don’t want either of you girls freezing to death in this chill.”
They sat in front of the fire, with fresh mugs of hot chocolate.
“I’m ready to go back now,” Sarah told her friend. “I can’t call that place home, but I need to go back with Molly and find a way for Reno and I to face this. No more avoidin
g and running away. Once it’s all out in the open, I can make a rational decision. I hope.”
“Well, then.” Lindsey let out a breath. “Let me just add one more thing to the mix. You may not realize, but Reno is desperately in love with you.”
“What?” Sarah’s head jerked up. “What did you say?”
“I said he’s desperately in love with you. We’ve all seen it coming for months, and he admitted as much when Nick asked him. Nick thinks Reno’s been in love with you since you came to work for them but was too stupid to recognize it, especially after the disaster with Maggie.”
“Oh, Lindsey, I don’t think so,” Sarah disagreed. “He married me because he thought I was the best candidate to pick up the pieces of his life.”
“Maybe he fooled himself in the beginning, but not now. That’s why he’s so busy beating himself up. He’s convinced he’s destroyed the one good thing in his life.”
Sarah was stunned.
Lindsey was silent for a long moment. “This is a complicated situation. But I think he’s ready to be honest with you now, whatever the consequences. Just listen to him. Then you can decide what you want to do.”
“I guess I’m just nervous about facing him.” Sarah twisted her fingers together. “I’m not sure I’ll even know how to act.”
“He’s scared, too,” Lindsey said. “Just talk to him and see what happens. Is that fair enough?”
Sarah nodded slowly. “I guess so. I can’t hide from this forever. I think tomorrow I need to go home. I need to face that house and hopefully, Reno.”
“Are you sure?”
“I can’t run away from this forever,” she told her friend. “It’s time I took matters into my own hands. One way or another, I’m going to force the truth out of him.”
“Okay. I’ll have Emilio take you in the morning. And call me if you need reinforcement.”
Sarah laughed. “I will.”
Emilio dropped her off just after ten the next morning, carrying her suitcases into the house.
“It will be okay,” he told her in his solemn way and squeezed her shoulder.
Ten minutes later, after viewing the discouraging sight in her refrigerator, she put Molly in her car for a run to the grocery store. She’d make a special meal tonight and call Tony to tell him his brother should get his ass home this minute. Tonight was Armageddon, whether Reno realized it or not.
Sarah was glad to be home, even if the house was filled with painful memories that kept prodding at her. She felt, if not refreshed by her stay at the ranch, at least released from the grip of emotional disaster. Regardless of the circumstances, she and Reno had taken a leap into intimacy. Somewhere in all this mess were real feelings propelling both of them. If they could just negotiate the obstacle course, maybe they could examine how they really felt about each other.
She wasn’t sure how she would ever sleep in her bed again without thinking about that night. She still had so many unresolved conflictions. Loving Reno was not enough if he didn’t love her back. Despite what Lindsey said, she needed him to tell her that himself. She would listen to whatever he had to say, then decide what to do next.
“We’ll just have to find a way to make your daddy talk to us,” she told Molly, opening the passenger door. “He’s really a good man. We have to make him believe it.”
She was about to lift Molly from her car seat when an unfamiliar car pulled into the driveway. Had it followed her? Been waiting for her? Panic seized her as two Hispanic men climbed out and walked toward her. Aguilar! She went to pull her gun from her purse but realized she’d left it on the seat to get Molly.
“Your husband will learn he’s fucked with the wrong man,” the one closest to her said.
She tried to shield Molly with her body, but she heard a soft pop! And searing pain engulfed her side. She screamed as the other man grabbed Molly from her seat. The last thing she heard was the baby crying as blackness overtook her.
****
“You need to stop hiding out here,” Tony said. “Not just from Sarah but from yourself. It’s time to face the music.”
“That ought to be fun.” Reno snorted.
“What I don’t understand is how you thought this kind of marriage could work in the first place. It’s the most ridiculous setup I’ve ever seen, and I told you so. It caused all kinds of complications and look what happened.”
How could he explain it when he still didn’t understand it himself? Somehow, he’d been stupid enough to think he and Sarah could just transfer their working relationship from the office to the house. He certainly hadn’t planned on falling in love with her.
At night, he lay in the bed in Tony’s guest room, sleep eluding him, thinking of Sarah and how she had changed his life. Unbidden, images came to his mind of her and Molly. Looking at them, at the obvious bond between them, anyone would have believed Molly was Sarah’s biological child.
He saw himself standing on the outside, locked out by his own anger and withdrawal, and his heart ached worse than his body did. His entire world had turned gray, and he had no one to blame but himself for washing away all the color she had brought into his life.
He had no idea if she even wanted anything to do with him after this, and if the answer was no, he needed to figure out how to deal with that, too. But he was through standing still. All that had done was help him nearly ruin the best thing that came into his life.
“I guess I have to stop running away from the fact I love my wife—god, have I ever even called her that? And I’ve screwed up to the max. I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m praying that she’ll give me one.”
Tony just looked at him, waiting.
“I know I have to tell her the truth about Maggie and Molly. She might run in the opposite direction, but I’m hoping she doesn’t.”
“Sarah loves you,” his brother said. “Any fool can see it, and you’re not just any fool. I hope you’re a smart one.”
“Me, too. I’m going to call her when we’re through here and ask her to come back to the house so we can talk.”
His phone rang, and he looked at the display. Nick.
“Sarah’s back at the house. I’m not sure you can call it home, but whatever. She and Molly are both there, and apparently she has her shit together better than you.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” Reno muttered. “Okay, no more running away.” He hung up and looked at Tony. “Thanks for letting me camp out here, but it’s time for me to see if I can get my family back.”
Family. He liked the sound of that word. He just hoped he still had one. As he packed his suitcase another thought struck him. Maybe it was time for a grand gesture. One that would show Sarah how much he really loved her. And make her at least willing to listen to him.
But his good mood was shattered when his cell rang again.
“Aguilar’s been spotted in Texas.” Balenger’s voice was sharp in his ear.
“What?” Panic stabbed him. “I thought you told me he was back in Mexico.”
Months had gone by since the man’s escape and they’d stupidly allowed themselves to be lulled by the thought that maybe the vendetta was off.
“He was, but he must have snuck out of his own estancia. One of our agents spotted him in El Paso. You know he’s headed this way.”
Sarah! Molly!
Fuck!
“Call me when you have something else,” he told the man and disconnected the call.
He immediately punched the number for the house, but when the answering machine picked up, he cursed. Then he dialed Sarah’s cell phone, but her phone went to voice mail.
Jesus God. Where the hell were they?
“Tony!” he shouted.
“I’m right here. What’s up?”
“Aguilar,” he told him as he ran for his car, Tony right on his heels.
Please god let her be okay. I promise to make everything right if you can just keep her safe.
But as he drove like a maniac through the streets, he
was sick with fear and dread.
Chapter Eleven
Consumed by fear, Reno called Balenger and the local cops as he raced for the house. Why the fuck did his brother have to live clear across town? He had Tony continue dialing both the house and Sarah’s cell but without any luck. By the time he pulled up in his driveway two patrol cars were there, and Balenger was just pulling up. An ambulance was just coming down his street from the other direction. The garage door was open, and two of the cops were bending over something on the floor.
Oh, Jesus! No. No, no, no.
He shoved the car into Park so hard it rocked. Throwing open the door, he raced up the driveway and roughly shoved aside the kneeling men. He almost passed out at the sight of Sarah crumpled on the floor, blood staining her side and pooling on the floor.
“Sarah!” His chest tightened with anguish. He lifted one of her hands, frightened at how icy cold it was.
“Reno?” Balenger touched his shoulder. “Reno, the ambulance is here. Let the EMTs get to her.
He moved around so he was kneeling by her head, leaving room for the medics to work. He barely heard what they were saying as they took her vitals. So much blood. Shit. Even the pressure bandage they applied didn’t seem to be doing any good.
Then something struck him and he looked up at Balenger. “Molly?”
“Gone. He left a note.” He snapped his fingers, and another man in a suit handed him a plastic envelope with a sheet of paper inside. Reno read it, trying not to throw up.
Come and get what’s yours, if you can, gringo. This time I’ll be sure to kill you.
“He’s taken her back to Mexico,” he guessed.
Balenger nodded. “We’re pretty sure of that. And you know he’s got a slow death planned for you.”
“He can kill me as long as Molly’s safe and Sarah doesn’t die.”
The medics lifted Sarah onto a stretcher and began to back out of the garage.
“I’m going with her,” he told them.
“You can’t ride in the amb—” one of them started to say.
Balenger flashed his badge. “Make an exception.”
