by Desiree Holt
So here it was at last.
She’d known it had to be something this bad to make him behave the way he had. She’d worked with this man for five years and been married to him for eight months. She knew him underneath it all—a good, decent person whose only failing was to be human. So much was clear to her now.
“I know you must hate me for the way I’ve treated the child.” He shook his head. “It was very painful admitting to myself that a big part of this was my pride.” He took the poker and stirred the logs in the fireplace, obviously giving himself something to do. “Please try to understand. I only married Maggie because she said she was pregnant with my child. And I wanted that child. When Maggie told me the baby wasn’t even mine, I was destroyed. I’d gone through the marriage from hell for nothing.”
Sarah thought of Molly, the unknowing center of the turmoil, a constant reminder of everything. Her throat tightened with emotion.
“Sarah?”
She heard the edge of fear in his voice as he waited for her to break her silence. “That’s why you’d never let me into your bedroom, isn’t it? Because Maggie slept in there with you.”
He nodded. “I didn’t want you touched by her filth.”
“And why there are no pictures anywhere in the house.”
“Yes.”
“I thought it was because you loved her so much you couldn’t bear to be reminded of her,” she whispered. “I thought you wanted a contract marriage because you were never going to get over the death of your wife.”
“God, no.” A harsh laugh escaped his lips. “That’s so far from the truth it’s not even on the same planet.” He rubbed his forehead again. “When I asked you to marry me, I didn’t realize what a selfish thing I was doing. I was concerned with my needs, not yours. I don’t know how you’ve put up with everything. You’ve been far more than I could have expected.”
“What did you expect?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Not nearly what I got.” His eyes searched her face again. “And I certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with you. Maybe Nick and Tony are right, and I’ve been in love with you since the day I hired you. My feelings for you kept growing stronger. It got to the point where I could hardly be near you without getting hard.”
“But then you ran away,” she said.
“Because I knew what a jackass I’ve been. Everything got so mixed up. I reacted without thinking. So, jerk that I am, I went off and got drunk. And the rest, as they say, is history.”
“How do you feel now?” Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear her.
“Everything that’s happened in the past few weeks was a real wakeup call for me. I realized what I had and was on the verge of losing.” He looked at her with everything he felt in his eyes. “Sarah, I want this to be a real marriage, if you’ll just give me the chance. I want a life with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I love you so much I can’t see straight. I’ve been terrified that I’d chased you away.” His voice was agonized. “We’ve had a fresh start here. Can we put all of this behind us and move forward?”
“And Molly? None of this is her fault. What about her?”
“Yes, what about her.” A look of intense sadness crossed his face. “You’re right. She’s the innocent in all this. The way I’ve treated her, I think, is the greatest crime of all. I never realized it more than when Aguilar kidnapped her.”
“You’ve loved being Daddy these past weeks.”
He grinned. “I sure have.” The grin disappeared. “And being your husband. Can I be a real husband to you, too, Sarah?”
“I think we’ve certainly made a good start in that direction. But let me ask you a question. Didn’t you have a DNA test? That would have been proof.”
A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Of course. Nick insisted. The results weren’t good. But I’ll try to get past that. Sarah can you forgive me for the rotten way I’ve behaved and build a family with me. Take what we’ve started and nurture it?”
The next move was up to her. There were still problems, all right, but she saw with sudden clarity how empty her life would be if she turned him away. Once she admitted this to herself, the rest was easy.
Rising from the couch, she put down her wine glass and walked to where he stood.
“Sarah?” He raised his eyes to hers, and the fear of what she might say was written in them. When she lifted her arms, he pulled her into an embrace. “I love you,” he murmured. “So much. Please believe me.”
“I do. After everything that’s happened, I know you wouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it.”
“You have no idea how much I want to make love to you, but I’m afraid of hurting you.”
“Well,” she drawled, “at the last visit the doctor pretty much gave me a clean bill of health. He did say no skiing or snowboarding or running marathons, however,” she joked. “So what do you say we give it a try?”
“I say yes.”
He swept her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. They had been sharing her room, sleeping together yet keeping physical contact to a limited embrace. He’d told her he didn’t think he’d ever be able to get away from the bad memories of his own room. She had been content with him holding her through the night, but now she was ready for so much more.
He stood her beside the bed and spent a long moment looking into her eyes. “God. I can’t believe how close I came to losing you.”
His kiss began so gently but soon turned demanding, filled with desperation. His lips were soft yet bruising. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, plundering it, devouring it, tasting every inch.
Sarah slid her tongue against his, returning movement for movement. His taste was heady, intoxicating, flavored with the bite of the wine. The kiss went on and on until she couldn’t breathe.
When they finally broke apart, he lifted his head and looked at her, studying her eyes. She could tell he saw something that made him relax just the slightest bit. He took off his jacket and tossed it on the couch, rolling back the sleeves of his shirt.
“Tonight, I’m totally sober, and I plan to remember every minute of what happens.”
He took his time undressing her, removing each piece slowly and peppering her skin with kisses. Closing his mouth over a nipple, he sucked it, then scraped his teeth over it before turning his attention to the other one.
He paused when he came to the scar, still an angry red slashing across her midriff.
“Don’t be upset,” she told him. “It’s my battle scar. And I see what happened as the catalyst for everything good that’s happening now.”
When she was completely nude, trembling slightly under his intense gaze, he kissed the rest of her—hips, thighs, her mound. He jerked back the covers on the bed as if his control had frayed and placed her carefully on the sheet. His gaze never left her as he took off his own clothes.
Sarah was transfixed by his nudity. He reminded her of some primitive god, ready for the mating ritual. His cock stood out from his body, the root settled in a thick nest of dark hair, his sac lying heavy against his thighs.
Just like in my dream.
She wet her lips, captivated by the sight of him in the flesh, and pressed her hands against his warm skin. He was so hard and muscular, his chest matted with a thick carpet of dark curls begging for her fingers to touch them. A soft line of down trailed along his abdomen and down into his groin. When she touched his thick shaft, it was more enormous in real life than in her dream, so large it mesmerized her.
“Reno.” Sudden shyness and uncertainty intruded on the wave of desire sweeping through her.
“I know.” He leaned down and brushed his lips across her forehead. “It’s all right, Sarah.”
Then he was beside her on the bed, kissing her again. He bent his head to hers again, slanting his mouth to capture her lips. When he slipped his tongue into her mouth, she welcomed the taste of him, reveling in the texture of his tongue and its demanding thrusts. He tasted wonderfully of mint tooth
paste and the smoky Merlot, reminding her of that first kiss they’d shared.
With a touch that felt almost reverent, he skimmed her with his fingertips, running his hands over her breasts, her waist, her flat stomach, and the curve of her buttocks. He caressed her breasts, teasing her nipples, trailing his fingers down her body to reach the lips of her pussy.
Every place he touched ignited another lick of flame.
“No other woman has ever affected me this way.” His voice was hoarse and not quite steady. “You reach into my very soul. I want you, every bit of you, every way I can have you, and I never want to stop.”
Sarah circled his erection with her fingers, but he grabbed her hand.
“Not yet. This is for you, darlin’. Just for you.”
He let his hand drift lower until he reached the soft feel of her curls. Placing his palm over her mound, he slid his finger between the folds of her pussy, seeking her opening. With a feathery touch, he stroked up and down her slit in a gliding motion, touching only the outer lips.
With a soft moan, she opened her legs to him. He slid one finger into her hot sheath, then another, seeking her center.
“You’re already wet for me,” he said, desire thick in his voice.
“I know.”
Her pulse raced, every nerve firing. Her body, frozen in cold storage for so long, thawed and warmed in the heat of their passion. The touch of his body next to hers was as electric as a live wire. She could feel the definition of his hard muscles, the sweet roughness of the hair on his chest, the silkiness of his hair when he bent his head to her.
Slowly, almost lazily, Reno stroked in and out of her cunt, watching her through slitted eyes. Her eyes became heavy with passion, her breathing ragged. He moved his thumb up to find that sensitive nub and circled it teasingly. She caught her breath and began to move her hips, urging him to enter her deeper, but he held back.
“Tonight when you come,” he said in a low voice, “I want it to be the most shattering climax you’ve ever had. Don’t deny me that.”
He curled his fingers, finding the hot spot, and she thrust hard against his hand. When the first little flutters began, he withdrew altogether.
“Oh, god, Reno, don’t stop now. Please.” Her blood felt like liquid fire, and her skin felt too tight. “Make me come.”
“I will, sweetheart, but not yet. Definitely not yet.”
He slid down her body until he was lying between her legs. Grasping her thighs, he placed them over his shoulders. When she was wide open and vulnerable, he thrust his tongue inside her. She went wild, bucking against his mouth. He teased her with his tongue, with his teeth, with his hands, all the time holding her in such a way as to give him full access to her pussy.
Sarah couldn’t stop moving. Her labia and her inner sheath felt hot and swollen, with so many nerve endings sparking, she didn’t know why she wasn’t burning alive. He was controlling her now, building her tension. Every time she reached the edge, he brought her down a little, keeping her in a constant state of arousal, drawing it out as much as he could.
She felt sensations gripping her body, quivering as he skillfully used his mouth, his tongue, and his long, gentle fingers. This was beyond anything she had ever felt before, the tension so prolonged she didn’t think she could stand it. She was wild with hunger for him, wanting to feel the fullness of him inside her. He made love to every inch of her, and she responded with wantonness, a glorious sense of abandonment she’d never thought herself capable of.
“Please, please, please,” she begged. It wasn’t his fingers she wanted to feel or his mouth. It wasn’t enough. She wanted—no, needed—to feel him inside her, filling her.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said again.
“Then be gentle,” she teased, “but don’t make me wait.”
“Okay, darlin’. One minute here. Let me just get a condom.”
But when he started to rise from the bed, she held him back. “No. Don’t use anything. The chance of me getting pregnant are slim to none, but if we can make it happen, I want it.” She wanted to give him this so much.
Reno stared at Sarah for a long moment, his eyes filled with a swirl of emotions. Then he nodded.
Slowly, slowly, he eased into her, pulling her toward him so her hips slanted, giving him greater access, allowing her to take him deeper. There. Now. Oh, God, he was all the way in, and the feeling was beyond anything she’d experienced.
The friction of his cock against her inner walls set off more spasms. With every movement she knew he was claiming her, making her his. She was on fire, pulses throbbing, blood rushing hotly through her veins. Sex had never been like this before. Ever. Not even with Mike. The need in her rose up and up, spiraling like an unwinding coil.
She was there…almost there…almost… Now!
He thrust hard once, twice, three times and, with a hoarse cry, carried them both over the edge. Their bodies shook with the crushing intensity of the orgasm. Spasms gripped them until she was sure they would break into a million pieces.
By the time the orgasm subsided, leaving only tiny aftershocks, they were both limp and boneless, completely spent, utterly sated. This…this…was the cataclysmic joining she’d dreamed about. This was completion beyond anything she could have imagined. This was the wild ride down the mountain she’d dreamed about, only it was better than any of her dreams.
She closed her eyes, letting the myriad of sensations wash over her.
And prayed it could always be like this.
Chapter Thirteen
Every muscle in Reno’s body felt as if it had been stretched to its extreme then released. All the strength had been drained from him. It was almost too much for him to realize.
In all the years of his sexual experience, he had never experienced this. His body had just exploded with his release, shaking him with its intensity. The wet fist of Sarah’s delicious cunt had gripped him and hadn’t released him until the last vibration died away. None of Reno’s vast sexual experience had prepared him for the way this reached his very soul.
In that moment, he realized there was no uncertainty on his part, no question about his emotions. He truly loved this woman. He just prayed he could always be what she needed.
When he could move, he tried to shift his weight to give her breathing room, but she kept her arms wrapped around him, holding him.
“I must be too heavy for you.” His breathing was choppy and uneven, and his heart beat loudly against his ribs.
“No. Stay. Don’t move.”
He rained soft kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, the tip of her nose. “Was it all right for you?” he asked, his lips against her ear. “I’m a little out of practice.”
“I don’t think I could stand it any better.” She bit her lip. “I worried that I wouldn’t satisfy you, that I wouldn’t be…experienced…enough for you. Wouldn’t know enough.”
“You can believe this or not,” he said, “but nothing I’ve ever done before was even close to the feeling I had when we came together.” He brushed the damp tendrils of curls away from her face. “Sex doesn’t have to be sophisticated to be wonderful, darlin’. I’ll teach you anything you want, but believe me, I don’t think we can improve on this.”
“Yes, I want you to,” she whispered. “I want to know everything you like, all the things that make you feel good. I want to be able to give you as much pleasure as you gave me.” She lowered her gaze, a delicate blush creeping up her cheeks. “I have to confess something.”
He frowned. “What? I thought we were through with confessions for the night.”
She refused to look up at him. “I-I’ve been having dreams. About you.”
“Dreams?” He tried to keep his voice even wondering if she, too…
“Yes. Erotic dreams.” She turned her head away. “About you and me.”
Reno took a deep breath, reaching for control. Was this possible? Had they both been having the same dreams, night after night?
God, how many times had he fucked her in his mind? Tasted of her essence, taken her into his mouth?
“I shouldn’t have told you,” she said when he didn’t speak.
“No. I mean, yes, you should.” He rolled to the side, taking her with him. He brushed her hair back from her face. “You definitely should have told me, because the same thing has been happening to me. I’ve been having my own dreams.”
Her eyes flew open, and she looked straight at him, an erotic thrill racing through him. “It has? You did? About us?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “Almost every night since we made this stupid bargain.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she asked.
He brushed his lips across hers, their mouths touching as he spoke. “Why didn’t you?”
But he knew the answers to both questions, and the knowledge brought him a fresh wave of self-loathing. Deliberately, he banished those thoughts. Tonight was a new beginning, and he wasn’t going to drag the past into it.
“Tell me what you dreamed about,” he urged. “About us. Don’t be embarrassed,” he said when a dark blush colored her skin again. “I want you to be able to say anything to me.”
“I don’t know if I can.” She caught her bottom lip in her teeth.
“Did I do this?” One hand kneaded her breast gently, thumb rasping over the nipple.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“And this?” He took the nipple into his mouth, raking his teeth over it and pressing it hard against the roof of his mouth. Her body tensed beneath him, and she arched up into his mouth.
“Yes,” she murmured again, her voice thickening.
“And this?” He moved down her body to run his tongue over the soft skin just above her mound.
“Yes, yes, yes.” She moaned and twisted beneath him.
He paused, studying her. “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you. That I’m not hurting you.”
“I’m fine.” She smiled. “More than fine.”
He eased two fingers inside her, curling them to hit that sweet spot. She bucked as he moved them in and out, adding a third and stretching her to the fullest. He felt the tiny quivers begin in her pussy and increased the tempo of his strokes. When her orgasm broke through her, he held her in place, feeling the tremors as her inner walls spasmed around his fingers.
