Girl Last Seen
Page 25
“And then I talked to Jacqueline every day. She still hates me, but she was understanding. She gave me updates. You were walking again, your arm was starting to move again. You went out into the garden by yourself. You were being moved to the other wing. Everything.”
“You could have just shown up.”
“I didn’t think…I didn’t think it would be good for you. I wanted to let you have your life.”
“So why are you here now?”
His smile is full of sadness. “I wanted to ask you for forgiveness.”
“You? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes, I did. And you know it. You have every right to hate me.”
A sigh escapes through my clenched teeth, and I think I might start crying. “I don’t hate you. I could never…”
“I fucked up your life.”
“You saved it. And I’m not talking about the Shaws, or ten years ago.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you.” The words well up at the tip of my tongue like blood in a cut, and I can’t stop them. “You were my only light. For years.”
“And you will have other lights now. Many of them.”
“I hope so.”
“You will. I promise.”
This time, I know they’re not just hollow words of comfort. He means them.
He starts to leave, and I watch him go, surprisingly calm. As he’s about to turn a corner and vanish from sight, he turns around and gives a short wave of his hand. I wave back. The sun blinds me, and I can’t see his face clearly, but I know he’s smiling.
Thank you for being in my life. I can move on now. I’m free.
Nothing about this will be easy, but then again, nothing worth having ever is. I’m in an unfamiliar place, starting my life over in many ways. I have a family now, people who care about me, and it’s more than I ever could have hoped for. So that’s something. There are things I know I will still struggle with for a long time, maybe for the rest of my life. Certain scars just aren’t going anywhere.
But right here, right now, in this moment, I am shining.
Acknowledgments
First, thank you to my wonderful agent, Rachel Ekstrom, who took this book from slush pile to bookstore and who believed in me all along. Thank you also to Brita Lundberg and the team at Irene Goodman Literary Agency.
Thank you to everyone at Grand Central and especially to Alex Logan, my editor, for giving me a chance.
Books don’t appear in a vacuum, so thanks also go to the people who were there for me throughout the lengthy process of writing, editing, querying, and everything in between: Margarita Montimore for listening to me rant, Maude Michaud and everyone at The Ladies for the encouragement and camaraderie (and wine), as well as Alana James, Nisha Sharma, Marie-Pierre, and Jessica—my A-Team. Thank you to Kim Graff and Lauren Spieller for the editorial input at the earliest stages. Thank you to Patrick, my love, for putting up with me during the many ups and downs of this process. Thank you to my creative-writing profs at Concordia—Trevor, Sina, Tess, and Mikhail—and to my other profs for not failing me at times when I neglected my course work in favor of this novel. Thanks to everyone in the creative-writing workshops. Finally, thank you to my parents and extended family—even if you never read a word I write, I’m cool with it. No, really.
About the Author
Nina Laurin studied creative writing at Concordia University in Montreal, where she currently lives. She has published speculative short stories in various e-zines and anthologies over the years, and she blogs about books and writing on her own site, thrillerina.wordpress.com. Girl Last Seen is her first novel.
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