She was still married. Still had the ring on her finger. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. She needed to stay away from Noah. She was a mess right now. Still married, still unsure of what she wanted. The end result could only be a disaster. She already had enough of that in her life. Failed marriage, college dropout. Yeah, she needed to fail at something else. That would really make her feel better. This was not how she thought life would be.
Emily thought of laying her head on Noah’s shoulder. She missed having someone to rely on. She had been the one making all the decisions for the last two years. She was tired of making decisions. Why couldn’t she just let things go for a while? Just drift along like waves on the ocean. But waves always reached the shore. Eventually.
Emily flopped over in bed again. With a frustrated sigh, she finally just got up. Maybe a cup of tea would help. Decaffeinated, of course.
She microwaved a cup of tea and went back to the bedroom. She’d sit on the bed, stare out at the ocean, and drink some tea. Maybe then she’d relax enough to sleep.
Noah had walked her to the porch when they had returned. Emily had felt just as awkward as she had when she was a teenager and in his presence.
She remembered a past fishing rodeo. A small stage had been set up between the pier and the shop, and a popular Cajun band had played as the sun went down.
She had been on the outskirts of the crowd as usual. Her grandfather had come with her, but had disappeared to grab another beer. The beat of the music had her feet tapping and a smile on her face. How she had envied the dancers out there. She had tried many times to dance, but nerves always got in the way.
“Hey,” Noah said, appearing out of the crowd.
“Hey,” Emily said back.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Wanna dance?”
Emily’s heart skipped a beat. Noah was asking her to dance. Her face fell.
“You know I can’t dance.”
“I can teach you,” he said.
“I don’t know.”
“C’mon,” he said, grabbing her hand and gently pulling her toward the dance floor. He led her to a spot away from the crowds. Her palms were sweaty, and her mouth was so dry she could barely speak. Her heart was beating so loud in her head she could barely hear the directions he was trying to give her.
He leaned in close to give her directions. Slowly, he showed her the steps first. Slowly, she followed. Finally, he increased the tempo. And that’s when the dance fell apart. She was so stiff with nervousness and fear; she had been unable to follow the fast moves. She lost count of the number of times she had stomped on his feet and messed up the rhythm.
Finally, the dance was over. Noah looked down at her and smiled.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” he said.
He smiled at her. “How about a walk?”
Walk? That she could do. Hopefully. Unable to talk, she merely nodded. He guided her around the dance floor and toward the beach. The music faded as they walked further away. When they had gotten out of range of the crowd, he stopped and gestured to the sand.
“Do you want to sit?”
“I guess.”
They plopped down on the beach and sat in silence for a few minutes.
“So, what are you doing after this year?” he asked her.
“I’m going to Lafayette, to school.”
“Not LSU?” he asked.
“No, it’s too big. And I feel comfortable in Lafayette. What about you?”
“I’m thinking of joining the Marines. I met with a recruiter last month. I figure it’s a good way to get out and see the world. I’ve lived in this town all my life. I wanna see something.”
“That’s cool. I’d love to travel too.”
“Maybe I’ll send ya some postcards.”
Emily smiled at him. “I’d love that.”
“I’ll do that, then.”
They heard the music change and Emily thought of her grandfather. She hadn’t told him where she’d wandered off. She didn’t want him to worry.
“I better get back,” she told Noah.
“Yeah, me too. How about a fishing trip tomorrow?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
He stood up, held out his hand to her, and helped her up. Suddenly, she was standing so close to him, she was sure he could hear her heart hammering in her chest. He looked at her silently for a moment. Somehow, she knew he was going to try to kiss her. She froze. When he leaned down, she jerked away. The moment was lost. He walked her back to the dance floor, said good night, then was gone.
Emily shook her head to clear it. What if he hadn’t left for the military? What if they both had stayed?
There was no use contemplating what ifs. She was where she was and was dealing with it. She glanced at the cell phone to see what time it was. She sat the cup on the nightstand and lay back down again. Hopefully this time she would sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
“Ms. Breaux. Mr. Jagneaux will see you now.”
Emily followed the receptionist into the attorney’s small office. Emily had received a text from Daniel that morning with a simple message giving her the name of an attorney, Paul Jagneaux, and his number. After last night’s debacle, Emily knew it was time.
Mr. Jagneaux had practiced in New Orleans for years until moving to the slower pace of Bon Chance. He kept limited hours, preferring to fish the quiet waters of the gulf over fighting sharks in the courtroom. The schedule allowed him the time to meet with Emily that day after his morning fishing trip.
“How are you today?” the older man said, peering over his glasses.
“I’m good.”
“That’s good. And what can I do for you?”
“I need a divorce.”
“Well, we can definitely do that for you, Ms. Breaux.”
Emily smiled. “Call me Ms. Thibodeaux, please.”
After a brief discussion on terms, and a few notes jotted down on his yellow legal pad, Emily was walking out of the office. Mr. Jagneaux would draw up the paperwork and have it delivered to Eddie. All Eddie would need to do is sign, and she’d be free. Emily sighed and stared up at the sky, praying it would be that easy. But knowing Eddie, it wouldn’t be.
***
Emily grabbed a pail and small assortment of cleaning supplies and walked up the steps of her grandparents’ home, now her home. She’d started the process of cleaning up her life with Eddie, now it was time to work on the house.
She was here today to give the house a good cleaning; the broken windows and hole in the roof had left some mold. Noah would put in the new windows and it would be ready. They had already discussed a trip to New Orleans to pick up supplies. Soon, she would need to pick out paint colors. She wanted to take her time and think about the colors she wanted to use to make this house her home.
She opened all the windows, letting the gulf breeze in to chase away the lingering mustiness. Then she started scrubbing in the heart of the home, the kitchen. She started with the cabinets. The smell of bleach soon mingled with the smell of the sea.
As she scrubbed, her thoughts wandered. She thought of Noah. That spark. She’d felt that for Eddie once. That was a long time ago. It felt like a different lifetime. They had been so in love. The world melted away when she had been in his arms. It was the two of them against the world. Like the montage of images and music in a bad soap opera, the memories flashed through her mind.
Eddie asking her out the first time. His smile had been so irresistible.
Their wedding day. How full of hope and dreams she’d been.
Then, the day they fired him. Instead of the two of them working together, it became Emily against the whole world. When he’d turned to the bottle, his whole personality had changed. His words became more vicious the more he drank. She rubbed her hip. Later, that viciousness included more than words.
She had fought so hard to hold their world together. She had wanted a relationship like P
ops and Grams’ She wanted that same respect, that love, and that happiness. So she had fought, and fought, but still, it fell apart.
She felt the tears well up and angrily pushed them away with a wet hand. Tears mingled with the bright lemony cleaner on her face. She would not cry over Eddie. She had cried enough over Eddie. She was free now, with a whole new life in front of her. She would create a very different life, but a new life. Her life. She’d be damned if she’d let Eddie ruin it. But the tears fell anyway.
***
Noah
“Emily? I saw your car parked outside, thought I would stop in and see if you needed any…” Noah’s words trailed off when he saw her. Emily was standing against the counter, a washrag in one hand. Tears ran down her face. She looked at him, her brown eyes full of anguish.
“Em? Em, what’s wrong?” He strode over to her. He put a hand to her cheek.
She just shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Emily,” he said. “It’s something.”
“It’s nothing, Noah.”
“What’s going on, Emily?” he asked again.
“I don’t know.” She brushed hair out of her face. “I’ll be okay.”
Noah was unsure of what to do next. Should he try to convince her to talk? Should he let her be? Hug her?
“I’m going to sit outside for a minute,” she said.
Still unsure, he watched her walk out the door.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and eyed the doorway. Should he follow her outside? Did she need some time alone?
He decided to leave her alone, for now. He picked up the toolbox he had carried in. There were a few minor projects that could be fixed, cabinet doors that needed tightening, a floorboard that had come loose. He may not know what to do with Emily at the moment, but he knew what he could do for her house.
***
Emily
Emily slowly rocked back and forth in the porch swing and listened to Noah roaming around the house. She smiled slightly as she heard him hammering away. He had always been one to try to fix everything.
She thought back to the day they had all ordered graduation announcements. Graduation had been such a bittersweet time for her. As happy as she had been, she had always missed her parents. They should have been there to celebrate.
When she had gotten home from school that day, she had pasted on a smile for Grams, answered all the normal questions, and escaped to the beach for a walk. Noah had found here there and walked with her. It was as if he knew what was bothering her, but didn’t mention it. They had talked about who was dating who. About Carly, and the others. Everything but graduation.
The hammering stopped and Noah joined her outside. Saying nothing, he took a seat beside her on the porch swing.
“I’m scared,” Emily said.
“Of?”
“I don’t know,” Emily said honestly. “I really don’t.”
“Emily, you know you have nothing to be scared of from me. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
She absently rubbed her hip. “I know.”
“What happened to your hip, Emily?” Noah asked.
“It was Eddie,” Emily said. “I came home from work one night, later than usual. I had taken an extra shift for the money. Eddie was drunk, as usual; he thought I had been with another man.”
Emily shook her head with a bitter laugh. “Imagine that. I smelled like the café, all greasy hamburger and stale coffee. He came at me and grabbed my arms. He shoved me into the cabinets. I hit my hip against the edge. It’s bothered me since.”
“He came after you?” Noah said, standing up. He walked over to the opposite side of the porch. His back was to her, but she could see the tension in his back, and his grip on the railing.
“Yes. When I shoved him back, he fell. Thank goodness he did. It kinda stunned him. I went to my room and locked the door. I slept with the door locked every night after that. Until I left.”
Finally, Noah turned to face her. “I’m so sorry, Em.”
“I filed for divorce today,” she said.
“That’s a good thing.”
“I don’t know if I can do this with you, Noah,” Emily said. “I know it’s not really anything yet, but we both know where this is going. I have so much baggage. I’m just not sure I can be what you need.”
He crossed the porch and crouched down in front of her so that he was looking into her eyes; he put his fingers underneath her chin. “Em, I don’t want anything from you that you aren’t ready to give. And darlin’, when you get to be our age, we all have baggage. Why don’t we do this? Why don’t we go to New Orleans tomorrow, get some supplies for the house? I need to go anyway to get some stuff for Snapper’s. And seeing some progress here may help your frame of mind. We can think about whatever is going on with us later. And I promise you, we will.”
She smiled. “You’re awesome, you know that?”
“I don’t know about that,” he said, and actually blushed. He grinned and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “But I want you to know, you don’t have to carry your baggage alone.”
He stood up and rejoined her on the swing, stretching his arm out along the back of the swing. Emily took him up on the unspoken invitation and scooted over. As she laid her head on his shoulder, his arm came around to cradle her. They were quiet for a while, both lost in thought as they rocked back and forth.
Chapter Fourteen
This was a bad, bad idea, Emily thought, twisting a locking of hair.
She and Noah were going to New Orleans to get supplies to finish the house. It was a town famous for romance with its cozy restaurants, carriage rides, and history steeping with mystery. Her last trip there had been with Eddie for a job fair, and what a disaster that had been!
He had gotten too drunk. Emily had to half carry him back to the hotel. He had stumbled and bumped into everything. She was tired and cranky when he finally collapsed on the bed. He pulled her down on the bed with him and planted a slobbery kiss on her. Disgusted, she had popped back up. When she wouldn’t come back to bed, he had gotten angry and called her a cow.
Noah had proven time and time again that he was nothing like Eddie. The ghost of Eddie still haunted her though, and she was going to have to deal with it and move on.
Today would be about relaxation. She shook off the past and headed to the houseboat.
Noah handed her a thermal mug filled with coffee when she boarded the houseboat.
“Coffee? Handsome and prepared. Where have you been all my life?” she asked, batting eyelashes over tired eyes.
“Right here, my dear. Right here.” He winked, and she blushed. She looked down and watched the steam rise from the coffee mug. It was cool that morning. She had thrown on a jacket, but would probably shed it by the end of the day.
“So, Ms. Emily. You ready?”
“Yep.”
“Let’s go, then.” He walked to her side of the truck and held the door open. Always the gentleman, she thought. I could get used to this.
Noah had the station set to rock music, and he entertained her with stories about the songs. He impressed Emily with his musical knowledge. He knew the stories about who wrote the songs and why they were written.
A particularly sad song came on the radio, and it reminded her of life before she had run away and came home to the coast. The song was about exhaustion.
“Noah? Have you ever felt like that? Have you been so exhausted that you were too tired to even make a decision?”
He glanced sideways. “Yes, I have. When I got back from Iraq the last time. The fatigue I felt was like nothing I had ever felt before. Just getting up in the morning was a chore. Most of the time it felt like I was trying to run through quicksand.”
“That’s how I’ve felt. Well, not so much since I’ve gotten here. But with Eddie. Leaving, packing, dealing with Eddie would’ve taken energy, and that’s something I didn’t have. I felt like a zombie. I got up, went to work, came home, and slept. That’s all
I could do.”
“Until?” Noah prodded.
“Until I just couldn’t anymore. He spent all the money, spent it on alcohol. It was either leave or continue to be sucked down. I don’t even think I really thought about it. I just did it. Now, I’m slowly starting to feel like a new woman. For the first time in my life, I’m on my own. I can do what I want.”
She glanced at him. He was smiling that gentle Noah smile, and she smiled back.
“Today, I don’t want to worry about Eddie or my marriage, or money, or what I want to do with my life. The sun is shining, the air is warm, and the company is excellent. I want to enjoy myself, just for today.”
Noah grinned. “I think we can do that.”
***
Noah
Noah found a parking spot on Canal Street, near the old brewery that had been converted into a shopping mall. It was still mid-morning, so they made their way through the already half-busy French Quarter to Café Du Monde. Emily breathed in the smell of the strong coffee. Pigeons stalked customers, just waiting for bits of the soft beignets to hit the ground. Emily found a small iron table near the street while Noah went to the counter.
Emily watched people pass while she waited. All kinds of people made their way to New Orleans. There were the obviously international tourists with their cameras and guidebooks. There were the locals, bustling about from the French Market, or going to work. She could see street performers and artists setting up around Jackson Square. She saw the tarot card readers. Maybe she would get her cards read later. The future had to be better than the past, she thought with a smile.
Noah returned and placed a steaming cup of coffee and a plate piled high with powdery beignets in the middle of the table.
Tangled Up In You (Fleur de Lis Book 1) Page 10
