He smoothed her hair away from her forehead.
“Good night, Emily,” he said, and turned off the lamp beside the bed. Emily was already out by the time he quietly closed the front door.
Chapter Sixteen
Emily walked around the library of the inn, scanning the titles of books.
“Good afternoon, pretty lady,” Daniel said, coming in.
“How’s your day going so far?” she asked him.
“It’s going. I ran a few errands this morning and took a long walk along the beach.”
“So, how did your trip the other day go?” Daniel asked her.
“It went all right,” she replied.
“But?” he asked gently.
“How did you know there was a but?” she asked.
“Cher, dis ain’t my first rodeo, no. It gets easy to read people.”
Emily took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
“I don’t know what to do about Noah.”
“What do you want to do?” Daniel asked.
“I don’t know. I even have these stupid dreams about him and Eddie,” Emily confessed.
“Oh?” Daniel said.
“Yeah,” Emily said, then found herself telling Daniel about her nightmares of Noah and Eddie.
“What do you think that means? Do you think you’re still turning away?” he asked her.
“I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of making decisions. I just want to go with the flow for a while. I want to take some time for myself. I want to take things one day at a time.”
“Why can’t you just go with the flow with Noah?” he asked. “Maybe that’s what you need. You know, cher, not everyone gets a second chance. You’re one of the lucky ones.”
Emily thought about that for a moment. It may be what she wanted, but it might not be what she should do. There were still too many things up in the air. She needed to deal with Eddie. And Noah still had some issues to deal with as well.
“So, while we were in New Orleans I found out about a cooking contest one of the schools is having,” Emily said, ready for a subject change.
“Oh?”
“Yes. The winner gets twenty-five thousand dollars. If I could win, that would help me out so much. I always thought I’d want my own restaurant or café, but now I’m thinking about a catering company.”
“That’s great,” Daniel said. “Got any ideas yet for a winner?”
“Not yet. I’m still kinda digging around on the Internet. Looking for ideas and playing around in my head.”
“Well, just let me know. I’ll be glad to be a taster,” Daniel said.
Carly came into the room. “Oh good, Emily, you’re here. Joey and I were about to go open Snapper’s for happy hour. Like a soft opening. We want to work out any snags before the big grand opening. And give my bartender some training while it’s slow. You want to go? How about you, Daniel?”
“Sure,” Daniel said.
“I guess I could,” Emily said. At least that would keep her mind occupied.
“You look tired,” Carly said to Emily, and grinned as they settled into bar stools at Snapper’s. “I wonder why?”
“Thanks a lot,” Emily said, and ignored the question.
“Hey, what are friends for?” Carly asked.
“How’d the writing go this morning?” Joey asked Carly.
“Went well this morning. After the last fiasco at the Wahoo, I had plenty of good material.” She looked at Emily. “I’ll trade you stories. I’ll tell you about my dates from hell and you can tell me about how things went with Noah. Speaking of, has anyone seen Noah? He’s supposed to meet me here. We need to talk about the memorial and the grand opening.”
Emily’s heart skipped a beat. Noah was coming.
Sunshine flashed through the doorway and sure enough, it was Noah. Emily looked down at her drink and took a second to calm her beating heart. She wasn’t ready for full eye contact yet.
She listened as he exchanged a few greetings, his voice getting closer and closer. She kept her eyes downcast, but she knew when he was there. Noah stood between her and Carly. His arm rested on the back of Emily’s chair. What was she going to do?
Dammit, she thought. She took a deep breath and looked up. Carly was talking, but Noah’s eyes were on Emily. Emily had no clue what Carly was saying. Carly might as well have been the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons. She was making noise, but none of it made any sense.
Emily exhaled and sipped the drink. Maybe a little liquid courage would settle her shaky nerves. Noah leaned over to shake hands with Daniel. The arm resting on her chair slipped slightly and grazed her back. His hand was warm against the thin fabric of her t-shirt.
Emily choked, nearly spewing Crown and Coke all over the bar.
Coughing, she took a napkin from Daniel as Noah started pounding her on the back. His touch was not helping. She took another sip.
“You okay?” Daniel asked.
“I’m fine,” she squeaked. She glanced at Carly. Carly was looking at her and Noah, smiling.
“Hey, does anyone have a smoke I can bum?”
The voice was unfamiliar to Emily, so she turned to look at the newcomer. His dirty blond hair was shaggy and unkempt. The long black trench coat he wore was out of place in a bar full of football sweatshirts, flannel, and jeans.
Daniel, the only smoker in the group, shook out a cigarette and handed it and a lighter to the new guy.
“Thanks,” he said. “My name is Fuzzy Baer. From the Baer family.”
Emily recognized the name. The Baers were once a prominent family in the area. The years had not been kind to their fortune. They had not weathered well the hurricanes that had devastated the area.
“Is that right?” Carly said, grinning, always ready to have a conversation with anyone. “That’s cool.”
“Could somebody buy me a beer?” Fuzzy asked. “I’m waiting on a check from the Jansky Corporation. I sold them a patent on a galactic halo finder. I’m going to make millions.”
The four around the bar looked at each other in confusion.
Finally, Carly asked, “What is a galactic halo finder?”
“It’s a spectrometer that locates spicules in the spiral galaxy.” Fuzzy poked himself in the chest, threw back his head, and laughed. “What they don’t know is the steady state theory measures the superior conjunction of two orbital forces.”
He laughed again and bent his head into his chest as if talking to himself. “Shhhhh, Fuzzy, don’t tell them too much.” He turned to the group again. “I was just on the phone with Victoria this morning. You know Victoria, right? She’s the one in charge of the paperwork. Can anyone buy me a beer?”
Emily looked wide-eyed at Carly, who was biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“What the hell?” Carly whispered.
“I don’t know,” Emily whispered back. She looked at Noah, who was quietly sipping on a beer, his eyes wary. “But don’t buy him a beer. He’ll stick around.”
It was too late. Joey was already handing Fuzzy a beer. Carly slapped Joey in the chest. “Great, just great.”
Fuzzy took a sip of the beer, and then said, “The contract stipulates that the radio galaxy must be contained.” He laughed again, then downed the beer. “Could I have another? A bottle this time? Cans mess up my parsec phase.”
Carly flashed Joey a look that clearly said, “Don’t you dare.”
“I think it’s time for you to move on,” Noah said, voice low and clipped; it was a tone Emily had never heard before from him.
Fuzzy looked at Noah, then at Joey. “C’mon, Fuzzy…” he said to himself when it was clear that Joey would not be buying another beer. Noah watched as Fuzzy went to the group of men on the other corner of the bar. Noah’s back was rigid, fingers drumming the back of her bar stool.
“What did you just say to me?” the bartender said to Fuzzy, voice rising over the jukebox and the crowd.
Immediately, three of the men at the corner of the
bar stood up. Emily watched as Fuzzy reached up and slapped one of the larger men on the back of the head. Fuzzy then turned and ran out the door, the three men in pursuit. Noah followed, then Joey, then Carly. Suddenly the bar was almost empty.
Emily looked at Daniel. “What should we do?”
“Let’s go check it out.”
Emily arrived on the front porch of the bar just in time to see Fuzzy, middle finger raised high in the air, speeding off on a rusty bike. His worn and faded trench coat flapped in the breeze.
Emily looked for Carly and Noah. She spotted them off the porch and near the corner of the bar. Emily walked over to them. She rested her hand on Noah’s arm. His muscles were taut under the white t-shirt. He glanced over at Emily. His usually smiling face was a stony, empty mask. He tore his gaze from Emily and looked out over the water.
“You okay?” she asked him.
“Leave it alone, Emily,” he said. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and twisted away from the women. He turned to glance one more time at Emily, then jogged off toward his truck. Carly shook her head as he disappeared.
***
Noah
Noah walked to the houseboat on shaky legs, heart pounding in his head.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He crossed the dock and the deck. He closed the sliding glass doors of the boat with more self-control than he thought he had. He was shaking. He had almost lost it in front of Carly. And Emily. Sadie did nervous circles around his legs as he bent over, hands on hips, gasping for breath.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
What would Emily have thought if he had really had a meltdown? How upset would Carly have been? He continued to hide the panic attacks from his sister. She didn’t need to worry about him. She had enough to worry about. He should have known Douglas’ call would send him into a tailspin. As if the upcoming memorial for Benjamin wasn’t enough.
Breathe in. Breathe out. His heartbeat was slowing, but not fast enough. He needed to run. He stripped off work clothes and threw them on the floor. He’d pick them up later. He needed to run now. Needed to exercise the tension out of his muscles. Needed to work out the adrenaline rushing through his system. It was fight or flight. And he was choosing flight. He shrugged on running clothes and took off down the beach.
***
Emily
Emily sank down into one of the rocking chairs on the porch, her drink in the bar forgotten. Daniel had gone back in with the rest, leaving her out there alone.
Emily rocked in the chair, lost in thought. The bar door opened and Daniel came back out, her drink in his hand. Quietly, he handed her the drink and sat in the rocking chair beside her.
“He’s been through a lot, hasn’t he?” she asked.
“Yes, he has. And according to Carly, he doesn’t talk about it much. And then Benjamin. I think it’s all taking a toll on him that he doesn’t let us see.”
“My husband is an alcoholic. I’ve been wearing myself out taking care of him for two years. I’m not sure I have the energy to put into a relationship. Not one like Noah deserves.”
“Not all men are like your husband, Emily. Noah takes care of Carly, and Carly takes care of him. Joey and Carly do the same.”
“I’ve noticed that. Eddie and I always had problems. I just kept trying because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. My grandparents had such a wonderful relationship. I kept trying to make mine and Eddie’s relationship like that. The harder I tried, the worse it became.”
“You can’t force a relationship, Emily. It’s either there or it isn’t. And it takes two to make a relationship work. Or fail. It can work both ways.”
“I haven’t been single in almost a decade. And I’m still not. I don’t know anything about dating or relationships anymore,” she said, twisting the ring she still wore. She didn’t know anything about marriage anymore either.
“You wouldn’t have to take care of Noah, you know. He’s good at taking care of himself. I know he had it rough when he came back from Iraq the last time, but he pulled himself together. He didn’t drown his miseries, blame someone else, or let himself sink into depression. He got up every morning and dealt with it. He still has scars, but he wears them well.”
Emily rocked slowly, taking a sip of her drink. “I like being with Noah.”
Daniel nodded. “Well, that’s a start.”
“I think I'm going to head out. Will you say goodbye to the others for me?”
“Of course,” he said. “Good luck.”
***
Emily walked up to Noah’s boat. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. His truck was out front so he must have gone for a run. She was still standing there by the boat, considering walking away, when he walked up. When he looked at her, his eyes were dark.
“Hi,” she said.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was flat.
Unsure, she said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should go.”
She lowered her head and moved to walk around him.
His hand on her arm stopped her. She made no move to turn or say anything, simply stood there, waiting.
“Emily,” he said softly. “Wait.”
She turned slowly, eyes still not reaching his. He reached down and lifted her chin with a finger.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes filled with sadness. “Why don’t you stay for a bit? Have a drink with me.”
“Are you sure?”
His lips curved into a slight smile. “Positive. I can’t promise I’ll be the best company, but I’ll try.”
After they walked in, he gestured to the small bar. “You want to help yourself? I’m gonna shower real quick.”
Shower, she thought, that word brought up all kinds of mental pictures. Warm water, soap. To clear her head, she made herself a drink. Drink in hand, she went outside to sit in the deck chair. Sadie followed, looking up expectantly.
“I didn’t bring your friend this time,” she said, patting the dog’s big head.
She was finishing the drink, staring out at the water, lost in thought, when Noah came back out. The drink in his hand was more amber than dark. No beer today, apparently. He needed something stronger.
His hair was still wet from the shower and he was wearing jogging pants and an old red Marine t-shirt with the words ‘Semper Fi’ blazing in yellow. He left the screen door open, and soft rock music drifted from the speakers.
Emily got up for a refill. When she got back, Noah had propped his feet up on the railing and was staring out at the water. Emily sat back and nervously chewed her lip. Should she try to talk to him? Should she sit there quietly? Should she leave?
“You don’t have to stay here, Emily,” he said.
Does he want me to leave? she thought.
“But, I’d like it if you stayed,” he finished.
Emily let out the breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding. “I’ll stay for a little bit.”
“I don’t have as many meltdowns as I used to. I guess I should be thankful for that.”
“Meltdowns?” she asked, sitting down.
“Yeah. When I got back from Iraq, my head was messed up. You see some stuff over there that you should never see. Especially when you’re young. It’s pretty hard stuff to deal with. I started having anxiety attacks. Yeah, the big bad Marine had panic attacks. They call it PTSD. Nightmares. I deal with them better these days, but certain things can trigger them. Crowds. I can’t stand to feel like I’m stuck somewhere. Episodes like today, high stress or a threat of violence can cause them. Anger. Benjamin’s memorial.”
“What do you do?”
“Most of the time, I just remove myself from the situation, or avoid things that might cause them. Crowds, for instance. Drinking a lot. If I drink too much, I don’t have as much control. Running helps. I guess it’s the endorphins.”
“Daniel said you don't like to talk about it.”
“I don’t.”
“We don’t have to,
then.”
He fell silent again, and Emily thought of Eddie. How would Eddie have dealt with the same problem? She knew in a heartbeat. Alcohol. He would have drunk until he passed out. Or lashed out at someone—Emily. But Noah? He refrained from drinking, knowing it would make it worse. The contrast between the two men struck her again. What would a relationship be like with Noah? She twisted the ring on her finger. Not like the one she just left, that was for damn sure.
“What a fine pair we are,” Noah said with a short, half-humorous laugh.
Emily grinned. “It would seem so.”
“How about we take the boat out?” he said. “The dolphins should be coming in soon. And I need to move around.”
Soon, they were out on the water. A few miles from the coast, Noah stopped the boat and dropped anchor. He refreshed his drink and rejoined her on the deck. He motioned for her to stand with him. As she stood beside him, she tried to keep from bumping him as the boat rocked slightly.
He touched her arm lightly and pointed to a spot not far from them. A dark form jumped up out of the water, the fin mimicking the waves it was riding on.
Another dolphin joined the first one. The two met and did a twist together as they glided back into the water.
“Wow,” Emily said. “That’s so beautiful.”
“They’re mating.”
Emily blushed. “Really?”
He grinned. “Yep.”
She watched as the two dolphins continued to twist gracefully in and out of the water.
“Amazing,” she said.
Noah disappeared into the boat for a moment and turned the stereo off. The only sounds were the sounds of the sea birds overhead and the waves softly slapping the sides of the boat. Emily watched the dolphins as they rose in and out of the waves, their grey bodies shining in the sun.
Emily scooted closer to Noah, nudging his arm as the dolphins continued their antics. Entranced by the animals, neither noticed the large boat that passed. The wake shook the boat and Emily stumbled slightly, falling against Noah. He reached an arm around her to steady her, pulling her against his chest.
Tangled Up In You (Fleur de Lis Book 1) Page 13
