The beautiful bully looked at Sally with convincing confusion. “Get what over with? Sally, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you do,” Sally hollered in exasperation. “Why haven’t you exacted your revenge already? Destroy me, make me miserable, pay me back for all the terrible things you think I’ve done. Just please do it now, because waiting has been torture. I don’t care whether I deserve it or not, I just want it over with.” She looked Viola squarely in the eye. “Here I am. Come and get me.”
At first, Viola regarded Sally with uneasy disbelief. Then, quite suddenly, she began to laugh. “Do you mean to tell me that for over a month you’ve been totally stressed out, thinking I was plotting some huge punishment?”
“Well…yes?” Sally answered, suddenly unconvinced.
“And all this time, I was actually making an effort to leave you alone. To not let you bother me; to give up on putting you in your place. Ha!” she crowed. “Isn’t that just the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?”
“Yeah,” said Sally. “Hilarious.”
Viola shook her head. “Listen, I can’t imagine I’m ever going to like you, but I’m not sure I have the energy to bring you down either. I’m busy enough being beautiful and popular. So, I think I’d like to put the past behind us. Let’s move on with our lives. What do you say?”
Sally contemplated Viola’s proposal so intensely that her eyebrows nearly touched. “You’re really going to leave me alone?” she asked.
“Leave. You. Alone.” Viola emphasized each word. “Yes. Now, if we can consider the hatchet buried, I have to make a stop before class. See you in homeroom?”
“Sure,” said Sally. “See you there.”
Viola hurried off, and Sally walked Bones to the schoolyard in silence, completely lost in thought. “I don’t know, boy,” she finally said. “I just can’t shake the feeling that that was too easy.”
Bones stiffened and refused to take another step.
“You think I’m being paranoid?”
“Gruff,” he told her plainly.
“Yeah. You’re probably right. I’ll try to take her at her word. I mean, what other choice do I have?”
“GGGgggrrr-uff! GGGgggrrr-uff!” Bones exclaimed and spun around in two circles. Sally smiled for what seemed like the first time in ages.
“Ha ha, OK. Point taken. I guess I have been a bit of a downer lately.” She scratched her dog on the top of his head and led him to a grassy area by the tire swings, not far from the shed. “Guess I’ll see you back here at recess. Same bat time, same bat channel?”
“GGGgggrrr-uff!” he agreed and lay down, stretching out in a sunny spot. Sally relaxed her shoulders and headed into the school building. Even though she told herself not to be too trusting, she already felt lighter. She was daydreaming about a long-overdue trip to the graveyard with Bones when she knocked into Chati, who was running into class.
“Sorry, Chati. I was spacing. I didn’t see you,” Sally said.
“Omigosh, omigosh, Sally, have you heard?” Chati’s eyes gleamed, and she shook all over. Sally knew this look well. Chati Chattercathy was like a geyser about to erupt when she had a brand-new bit of gossip. Pulling Sally over to their gathered friends, Chati blew out all the air in her lungs before taking a deep breath. Then she was off.
“So, remember how I told you that my cousin, Vani, heard from our granny, Nanny, who was talking to the Fooleries, who knew about it from Greenly Thumb, who is best friends with Officer Stu, that someone has been stealing all the neighborhood dogs’ bones?”
“Duh,” said Susannah. “Everyone knows about the bone snatcher. There isn’t a dog in Merryland who isn’t totally whacked-out.”
“Well, guess what?” Chati paused for effect. “They finally know who did it!”
The girls gasped in unison.
“Good day to be a dog,” said Danny Boi, who had been eavesdropping.
“You should know,” Chati cracked before shooing him away with her hands.
“No, I’m serious,” Danny continued. “My dog’s been going nuts, snapping at everyone. It’s like he looks at me and all he sees is a supersized boy-shaped bone.” A shiver ran through his body. “Even my brothers are freaked, and they’re not afraid of anything.”
Chati patted Danny on the shoulder. “It has been a trial for our pets, hasn’t it? Speaking of trials, do you think they’ll have one?” Chati clapped her hands at the thought of it. “Omigosh that would be the most exciting thing to happen in Merryland since, well, since Viola moved back.”
Sally would have rolled her eyes at this comment, but she was too interested in discovering the true identity of the thief. “So who did it?” she asked.
Chati frowned. “I don’t have that information right now. Vani didn’t think to ask. She’s not as thorough as I am. She has so much to learn. But she did find out that they’d been tracking the suspect for a while, and early this morning they caught a big break.” Chati tilted her head thoughtfully. “It still just seems so random. I mean, why would anybody steal from poor innocent puppies? What does someone need with a bunch of animal bones, anyway?”
“That’s a very good question, Chati,” a sweet voice singsonged. Viola arrived in the doorway and glided over to her prattling peers. “I would assume that whoever took the bones really needed them for some incredibly important reason. To the thief, maybe it was a matter of life and death.” She turned to Sally and, in her most innocent voice, asked, “What do you think, Sally?”
“About what?”
“Well, who do you think would need so many bones? And why is this suddenly happening now? I mean, if I were going to steal something super necessary to my existence I might stock up on lip gloss…or blood.” Viola put her finger to her lips and looked off into the distance. “Come to think of it, timing is as much a question as motive. Who showed up right around the same time that all those bones went missing? And who do we know that is made entirely of bones and quite possibly needs new ones to survive?”
A fist of nausea punched Sally hard in the gut. She stumbled over to her desk and steadied herself. Though her vision was beginning to blur, she forced herself to focus when she noticed the edge of a white envelope sticking out of her desk. She tore it open and, with shaking hands, read the note.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on you too!
And just to be sure you donÕt get me again
Today I destroy both you and your friend!
“No!” Sally gasped and sprinted from her classroom, down the hall, and out the side doors to the playground. There, in the grassy knoll beside the tire swings, was Bones, facing off against the D.C., who was charging at him with the long rod with the metal collar attached to its tip.
“Stop it!” Sally shrieked. “He didn’t do anything! Leave him alone!”
At the sound of her voice, Bones turned, letting his guard down for only a moment. The D.C. snapped the collar around the dog’s neck. “Gotcha, you little thief!”
“Ow-wooh-wooh-wooh,” Bones howled, and Sally ran to him.
“Let him go,” she commanded as she tried, in vain, to unlatch the collar.
“Not this time, girly,” the D.C. snarled. “This mutt has committed a crime, so now he’s mine.”
“But he didn’t do it!” Sally cried. By now, a crowd had gathered in the schoolyard.
“It’s an open and shut case. Neighborhood dogs’ bones start to go missing not long after a dog made of bones shows up in town. Seems perfectly clear to me.” The D.C. turned to Bones and sucked his teeth. “I’m gonna take you apart, bone by bone, and give each unhappy pooch a piece of you as retribution.”
Bones’s eyes widened in terror, and Sally fought the urge to faint. She was scanning the crowd for someone who might help her just as Officer Stu stepped forward.
“What’s going on here?”
“Officer Stu!” Sally was nearly in hysterics. “He says Bones is guilty of stealing all the other dogs’ bones and that he’s going to pick him apart and give a piece of him to everyone and you can’t let him do that, please, you can’t!”
“Oh, no, you don’t,” the D.C. barked. “This thing has violated the unalienable rights of canine citizens everywhere: to play, obey, and pursue their own happiness. He’s in my jurisdiction now. And this time I’ve got evidence.”
“Evidence?” Sally asked through her tears. “What evidence?”
The D.C. dragged Bones down the alley off the schoolyard, toward the secret shed. Sally, Officer Stu, and the gathered crowd followed.
“Got a call early this morning telling me all about the little devil’s demented hideout. So I came to investigate, and I found his stash!” The D.C. threw open the door to the shed, revealing a small mound of animal bones piled in the corner. Bones pulled away, disgusted. “Let’s see you talk your way out of this one, kid.”
“But—but it isn’t possible,” Sally said, still processing the reality that her dog had been set up. “He couldn’t do it, he wouldn’t. You must have planted the bones, or someone else did. He’s innocent! Bones is innocent!” Sally pleaded.
The D.C. laughed. “Aw, innocent until proven guilty, right? Well, what do you propose we do? Give the mutt a trial?”
“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” said Officer Stu.
The dog catcher stopped laughing. He stared at Stu, aghast. “Why, that’s ridiculous! It’s a dog! Who would defend him?”
“Me,” Sally announced.
“And you can prosecute,” Stu told the D.C. “I’ll be the judge.”
“Fine,” the superior little man agreed. “I’ve got witnesses aplenty. People who can prove this doggie’s a delinquent. He won’t get away from me this time. This menacing mongrel’s going down!”
Officer Stu sighed. “Well, then, we’ll meet here after school lets out tomorrow and decide the matter.”
Sally turned to hug the policeman. “Oh, thank you, Officer—”
“Wait, Sally. I want to make sure you understand.” Stu’s eyes were sad, but his tone was stern. “Bones has been accused of a very real crime. I hope he’s innocent, but I’ll be honest, it isn’t looking very good. Prepare your case, and I’ll hear both sides tomorrow. As for Bones, he’ll have to stay in the pound tonight.”
“What? No!” Sally yelped. The D.C. smiled smugly.
“I’m sorry, but that’s how it’s got to be,” Officer Stu replied. “But he’d better be well cared for and in one piece when we meet up again,” he added, wiping the smile from the D.C.’s troll-like face. “Sally, say good-bye to Bones and then get back into class.”
“But…” Sally whimpered. Stu held his ground.
Sally knelt down beside Bones. She held him tight. When she felt his tiny body shiver against hers, she could hold back the tears no longer. She wept as she kissed her frightened puppy.
Bones tried to be brave, but when the D.C. pulled him away from Sally, he howled and fought mightily to twist himself free. Sally lurched toward her dog, but Officer Stu held her back. Though it was a warm embrace, Sally struggled against it, knocking against Stu’s chest with her shoulders and kicking wildly with her gangly legs. When she finally quieted, Stu loosened his grip and Sally stood frozen in place.
She watched, through blurred vision, as the dog catcher locked Bones in a reinforced cage and loaded him into the back of his van. The best friends stared at each other until the back doors were shut. The D.C. turned the ignition and started to pull away. “Bones!” Sally shouted, and she ran after the van.
She could hear her dog’s howling long after the cold, white vehicle had driven out of sight.
Chapter 12
“And that was when I realized Mr. President was depressed.” A heavyset woman in an orange floral muumuu dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief and then did the same to the little dachshund on her lap.
“Depressed because he was no longer in possession of his marrow-filled bone,” the D.C. clarified, oozing with greasy sympathy. “And did you look for Mr. President’s missing bone?”
“Of course I did,” Judy Punch replied. “Not only was it nowhere to be found, but while I was looking, I ran into Mick Barbi with his Australian terrier, G’day, and Mary Scribbler with her Plott hound, Dénouement. They were on bone hunts too!” She leaned toward Officer Stu, who sat, gavel in hand, at a picnic table next to the makeshift witness box—a child-sized chair surrounded by six milk crates, courtesy of the cafeteria. “That was when I knew something didn’t smell right. And it wasn’t the kitty litter, if you know what I mean.”
The crowd that had assembled on the playground of Merryland Middle School laughed heartily at Miss Punch’s joke. Officer Stu banged his gavel and called for order.
“Now, Miss Punch. You believe you know who the culprit is, don’t you?” The D.C. glared at Sally as he asked the question.
“I most certainly do,” she righteously replied.
“Can you point him out to us?”
“Yes. It’s that demon doggie there!” Judy Punch pointed at the canine skeleton imprisoned in the dome-shaped monkey bars. The audience gasped as Officer Stu banged his gavel again.
“And how do you know that animal is guilty, Miss Punch?” the D.C. asked.
“You mean aside from just looking at him? Well, the very same night I realized Mr. President’s bone had been picked, I saw the accused digging in the yard across the street. I’d bet that if you excavate there, you’ll find all the missing bones!”
The D.C. sneered at Sally. “Your witness.”
The previous morning, after her dog had been arrested and carted off, Sally had sobbed in the schoolyard for a full, uninterrupted seven and a half minutes. Then she dried her eyes and returned to class. Chati Chattercathy offered her heartfelt sympathies and a shoulder on which to cry some more, but Sally politely declined.
“The time for tears is over,” she had said. “I’ve got a trial to prepare for.” And prepare she did; all that afternoon, through the evening and well into the night. Standing before her first witness, Sally felt calm. She was going to eat this woman for lunch.
“Hi, Miss Punch,” Sally began.
“Hi, Sally, honey,” the witness replied cheerily.
“I’m very sorry for Mr. President’s loss.”
“Thank you, darling.” Miss Punch touched her hand to her heart. “That’s very kind of you.”
“No problem.” Sally smiled. “So, um, you say that the evidence you have against my client is that you saw him digging in the yard across the street on the same night as the suspected theft. Is that correct?”
“Well, yes. That and the fact that he’s just plain creepy! I mean, honestly, who else could it be?”
The crowd mumbled in agreement.
“Right.” Sally nodded politely. “But, removing that second part of your statement, which is speculation and therefore not factual evidence, the only reason you have to suspect Bones is because you saw him near the crime scene, aka your house, on that fateful night?”
“Well, yes. I suppose so.” Miss Punch shifted in her seat.
“Miss Punch, where do you live?”
“At 1445 Pinecrest Drive.”
“Miss Punch, where do I live?”
The witness snickered. “Well, right across the street from me, Sally, or did you forget?” The crowd chuckled. Sally laughed along.
“No, ma’am, I didn’t.” She turned to Bones and winked. “So, if you live across the street from me and, presumably, it was my yard in which you saw Bones digging, wouldn’t it stand to reason that he was digging not to hide his loot but because he was simply being a dog, playing on his own property?”
As the assembled onlooke
rs discussed this new scenario, Sally shouted over them. “I’d like to introduce into evidence Defense Exhibit A: a photograph of our backyard that shows not the fresh mounds of dirt one would associate with something newly buried, but hole upon hole of dug-up earth in which it would be impossible to hide one, let alone dozens of bones.” Sally addressed the crowd. “If Bones is guilty of anything, it’s destroying my father’s garden. Your honor, I am through with this witness.”
Miss Punch left the witness stand, and the D.C. glowered at Sally. “Don’t worry, girly. I’ve got plenty more where that one came from,” he hissed as she walked past.
“Bring ’em on, I’ll knock ’em down,” Sally replied in her own low growl.
Much of the afternoon followed in the same manner. The D.C. would provide a witness who was convinced of Bones’s guilt, and Sally would show that his or her accusation wasn’t based on fact, but on prejudice. After an hour of such back-and-forth, the crowd was clearly getting restless, and Sally was feeling slightly bored.
“The prosecution calls Vivienne Vanderperfect to the stand.”
Mrs. Vanderperfect sauntered over to the milk crates, smiling at Sally as she passed her.
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” Officer Stu asked.
“Well, of course!” Vivienne responded brightly. The charmed audience sighed.
“Mrs. Vanderperfect, do you know why you’ve been called as a witness today?” the D.C. asked.
“I’d imagine it’s because I reported that my beautiful daughter’s prize-winning poodle was a victim of this horrible bone-stealing crime,” Vivienne answered.
“Not just any victim, ma’am, but the very first victim!” the trollish little man declared. “When did you report the theft?”
“Well, let me see,” Vivienne considered. “I first reported it the night of Viola’s birthday party, September twenty-ninth.”
“The first night anyone other than the Simplesmith family caught sight of the accused!” the D.C. shouted triumphantly. Vivienne looked to Sally, perplexed.
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