He devoured her mouth, pushing her back against the wall, trapping her body against the cold tiles, and Callie met his ardour with startling equality. Her breasts were squashed against him, her nipples painfully tight as his hard chest abraded the sensitive tips. His erection pushed into the apex of her thighs, butting against her as they ground their pelvises together.
His mouth abruptly left hers and lowered to capture a nipple, a hand moving to the other breast, squeezing, the thumb circling and flicking. She held his head and cried out as he sucked hard and his teeth grazed the tight bud in his mouth.
Her body flooded with sensation and she rocked against him, wanting more, wanting to be closer, wanting to be part of him. But most of all grateful that at last he was turning to her, reaching for her. He wasn’t pushing her away now. He wasn’t closing himself off.
She reached down for him, feeling his thickness, hot and ready for her, slippery from the water and the soap, and she angled it to her entrance as he lifted her buttocks, lifted her feet off the floor, lifted her up and anchored her against the wall with his chest, her legs automatically circling his waist.
‘I want you,’ he groaned as her breasts swayed in front of his face and he took full advantage by flicking his tongue over each puckered nipple.
His erection nudged against her where the heat and tingling intertwined to excruciating proportions. ‘Oh, God, Sebastian, now, please now.’
Sebastian heard the desperation in her voice, felt it deep inside him too—the urge to drive into her, to claim her, overwhelming. Her slick heat caressed his throbbing hardness and it took all his willpower to resist her urgent demand.
He placed his forehead against her chest and took a couple of calming breaths. ‘Callie, we can’t, I didn’t bring a condom in the shower with me.’
No, no, no. No barriers. Not tonight. She shook her head violently, grasping his head, pulling it up to look at her. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I don’t want any barriers between us tonight. I want to feel you, truly you. All of you. I don’t want anything between us.’
Sebastian was breathing hard as a bloom of some emotion he couldn’t identify played havoc with his common sense. He wanted it too. Wanted to feel her around him, flesh on flesh. To be closer to her than he’d ever been. Just this once.
‘Please, Sebastian,’ she murmured, squirming against him.
Sebastian’s eyes grew large and he hissed out a breath as their gazes locked. Her heat and slickness surrounded him and he wanted to go further. One push of his hips into all that slippery tightness and he’d be buried to the hilt.
She squirmed again, feeling a little more of him enter, and she moaned. She was desperate for still more, to feel him stretching her completely.
‘More,’ she whimpered. ‘More.’ Then she claimed his lips, pushing her tongue deep into his mouth, mimicking what she wanted him to do lower down.
Sebastian groaned and on a surge of high-octane lust gave her all of him. Hearing her cry spoke to something primal inside and he fought the urge to roar. It felt good. So damn good, skin on skin, her tight heat gripping him with shocking intimacy. He dug his fingers into the flesh of her buttocks hard as the sensation nearly crippled him.
The movement rocked her head back against the tiles and he latched on to the curve where her neck met her shoulder. She scratched at his back but he didn’t even notice as he repeated the motion over and over, ramming into her, pounding and pounding and pounding, as the water drummed on his back, mingling with her cries and the desperate need to cleanse away the events of the day and reaffirm life.
Callie knew she was coming almost from the first full thrust hitting exactly the right spot, but she didn’t want to let go, let it consume her just yet. Sebastian needed this, she knew it as surely as she knew he was holding back too.
But if anyone needed to let go, it was Sebastian. Only in his release would he find some kind of purging of the emotions that had built up over the day.
It was impossible to keep everything inside when you were breaking apart.
‘Sebastian,’ she panted. ‘Let go.’
Sebastian, his head burrowed in her neck, rammed in hard and grunted, ‘No.’
Callie bit her lip as the ripples edged out from her centre. ‘Yes,’ she demanded. ‘Yes.’
Sebastian shook his head, straining to push the delicious sensations back. ‘You,’ he gasped, rocking in and out of her, ‘first.’
Callie groaned. Stubborn man. But if that was what it took…
She stopped fighting it, letting the sensations rush out at her, giving the ripples free rein, feeling herself clamp down hard on him and his corresponding moan.
Then he sucked a nipple into the hot cavern of his mouth and the wave swept over and she cried out, flinging her head back as her orgasm consumed her. Sebastian’s shoulders shook and she cried out, ‘Yes, yes,’ as a guttural groan was torn from his throat and he joined her.
The shower battered down on them like cool rain as his hot seed pumped into her and there were no words or thoughts as their bodies moved to a rhythm as old as time. Just him and her and the vortex of pleasure that swirled and twirled and cascaded down on them.
It seemed like an age before either of them moved. Callie’s head lolled against his and they stayed forehead to forehead for a long time, the shower bathing them, cooling heated blood and soothing sizzling skin as their breathing slowly settled.
Callie stirred first, lifting her head and flopping it back against the tiles. The spray misted against her lips and she opened her mouth to moisten a parched throat.
‘I think I just died and went to heaven,’ she murmured, half smiling as the feel of hard muscle beneath her hands came into focus.
Sebastian kissed her neck, malaise invading every cell, never wanting to move from this place. He pulled back slightly to look at her. ‘Me too.’
Her brain felt as if it was operating in first gear at Sebastian’s steady gaze. She could still feel him hard inside her still. Water droplets clung to his browny-blond lashes and beaded on his lips. She leaned forward, kissing his eyes gently, lapping at the drops.
It would be so easy in the aftermath of such mind-bending passion to let herself be swept up in believing that there was way more to this than two people having a good time.
Sebastian shut his eyes, the flutter of her lips there strangely innocent despite their very carnal position. He dropped a kiss on her mouth. Nuzzled her throat.
‘This is nice,’ he murmured as the water sluiced over his shoulders and ran in rivulets over her breasts.
They stayed for a while longer until Callie squirmed and he roused himself from the sweet line of her neck. ‘Sorry,’ he apologised.
‘It’s okay,’ Callie said, her arms holding him closer.
‘I’m squashing you,’ he protested, pulling away.
His hands tightened momentarily where the backs of her thighs met her buttocks before he eased away from her and supported her as she slid down the tiles. Her legs buckled slightly and he held her tight, letting her lean into him for a moment.
‘I’m okay now,’ Callie whispered as her jellied legs regained strength. Even though she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be the same again.
Sebastian let her go but grabbed her again as she swayed a few seconds later. He held her around the waist as he shut off the taps with his other hand then swept her up in his arms.
Callie laughed, hanging on around his neck. ‘I can walk, Sebastian.’
He kissed her nose. ‘I know.’
He carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed, joining her moments later, gathering her to his side and enjoying the press of her and the way her head automatically found his shoulder, her arm his chest.
It didn’t matter that they were both dripping wet. Towelling seemed like such a vigorous activity in his post-coital languor and the wet sheets would dry. The only thing he wanted to do now was to lay Callie back and explore every inch of her body.
; Really slowly.
Make her moan and sigh and quiver all over and then when she was begging for him, he wanted it to be deep and slow. Not frantic Neanderthal sex like in the shower. He wanted to make it last.
And he would. In a moment. As soon as the marrow returned to his bones and his brain cells organised themselves into some semblance of normality.
Soon.
Callie woke with a start. It was dark and something had yanked her from slumber that had come over her unawares.
The warm, bony pillow beneath her cheek twitched, rocking her head a little, and she realised Sebastian was muttering to himself. It took a moment to work out what was happening. She didn’t know where she was or what time it was.
She half sat up, her hand still on Sebastian’s chest. Her bedroom came into focus as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. The luminous figures on her bedside clock pronounced it just after midnight.
‘No.’
Callie startled as Sebastian’s unexpected word frightened the life out of her. He shook his head from side to side as if he was fighting something and uttered, ‘No!’ again, but this time it was louder, more panicked, and he vaulted up in bed, displacing Callie entirely.
Callie’s heart leapt to her throat. ‘Sebastian?’ She laid her hand on his shoulder and he jumped, twisting to look at her with wild eyes that, for a moment, didn’t seem to recognise her.
She sat back, her shoulder blades scraping the bedhead. She removed her hand, her heart fluttering wildly in her chest. ‘Sebastian?’
Sebastian sagged as his surroundings entered his consciousness and pushed away the dusty roadside and the smell of burning metal. ‘Callie,’ he said on an exhalation. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’
‘Hey,’ she murmured, opening her arms and gathering him close. ‘It’s fine. Just fine.’
She didn’t know how long they sat there. Long enough for the tremble in his arms to settle and the mad pulsing of his heart against hers to return to its normal rhythm.
‘Is it your father?’
Sebastian shook his head. ‘No.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ she asked into the darkness when his grip around her waist eventually slackened.
Sebastian roused himself, the shocking realism of the nightmare receding. Surprisingly, he did want to talk about it?and he definitely owed her an explanation.
He turned in her arms, his back to her front. She slid her arms over his shoulder and cradled him against her. He placed his palms on her shins, needing to ground himself.
‘I was travelling with a supply division to get to another base. There was a roadside bomb.’ He stopped. ‘The vehicle in front was blown to smithereens. I’d just been talking to the driver a few minutes before we left. He was supposed to be going home a month later.’
‘Did he…?’
Sebastian stared into the darkness, his mind awash with flames and the desperation of men trying to save their comrades. ‘He didn’t make it. None of them did.’
Callie hugged him tighter, wrapping her legs around his stomach, linking them at the ankles. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she murmured, dropping a kiss on his shoulder. She couldn’t even begin to imagine something so horrible.
Sebastian nodded, enjoying her embrace for long moments. ‘I know.’
‘Do you have nightmares often?’
‘No, not really. Not any more. Only when I’m really tired, I guess.’
It was no surprise, then, that it had happened tonight. He’d come to her from Frank already totally exhausted. And then there’d been the sex. Sex that, for the first time, had been about more than physical gratification.
For both of them.
It had pushed emotional boundaries that had touched her more profoundly than the earth-shattering orgasm. And she didn’t need to ask or be psychic to know it had touched him too.
‘Have you seen anyone about it?’
He grimaced. ‘Ironic, isn’t it? The foremost expert on PTSD suffering from it himself?’
Callie rubbed her chin against his hair, her hands palming the skin of his abdominal wall. ‘No. It’s just life.’
‘I have talked to someone about it. An army psychologist. It was him actually who suggested I ease back into work. That I should take a break from anything to do with post-traumatic stress altogether.’
‘Well, he sounds very smart,’ she murmured.
Sebastian chuckled. ‘Yeah. He is.’
They sat locked together for a long while, neither saying anything. Just touching. Nothing sexual. Trailing fingers. Dropping a kiss. Rubbing a cheek. Not wanting to move, to disconnect.
Sebastian liked the weight of her legs wrapped around him, the feel of her breasts squashed to his back. But when he glanced at the time it was almost one and he stirred, knowing he had to go.
Talking had been cathartic and the last thing he felt like doing was getting out of Callie’s bed.
But they were their rules.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, easing out of her embrace, rubbing the fatigue from his eyes. ‘I should go. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.’
Callie felt an immediate sense of loss. She’d been enjoying the solid pressure of him against her, the steady, even expansion of his rib cage pushing into her belly.
She put her hand out, touched his shoulder. Slid it along the ridge that thickened into his neck then trailed it down his back. ‘No.’
She didn’t want him to go. They’d shared a deeper part of themselves tonight. Let down their defences. Crossed lines they’d sworn not to.
He’d fallen asleep in her bed because it had felt right. It still felt right. She didn’t want to send him away tonight. Any night.
‘Stay.’
Sebastian stilled. Her hand was warm against his back. He turned slightly. She knew him, this woman. Callie. She knew more about him than he’d ever let another woman know.
He wanted to leave her bed about as much as he wanted to drill a hole in his head but she had to be sure. If they were going to do this—it would be the point of no return.
‘Are you sure?’
Callie nodded and opened her arms.
‘Here you are.’
Sebastian had woken the next morning to find the bed empty. He’d finally located Callie on her deck, staring out over the rooftops of suburbia. She was dressed in a pair of brief knickers that rode up high on the cheeks of her bottom and a T-shirt that didn’t quite meet her underwear, leaving a tempting circle of skin bare.
Callie looked behind her and smiled. ‘Here I am.’
Wearing only a towel slung low on his hips, he padded across to her and stopped directly behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. It was gratifying when she leant into him, turned her face slightly so she could rub her cheek against his hand.
‘Having second thoughts?’ he murmured.
Callie shook her head. ‘No.’
He nuzzled her neck. ‘Why so pensive, then?’
Callie’s gaze flicked back to the houses and greenery of her neighbourhood. ‘I guess I’m just wondering what this means now.’
After all they’d shared last night, the thought of him leaving one day, of this having to stop and to never be with him like this again, was increasingly disturbing.
Sebastian couldn’t help but smile at the bewildered look on her face. ‘I think it’s time to face it, Callie. We’re in a relationship. Just because we’ve been too wrapped up in each other to define it doesn’t change the facts.’
Relationship.
Before last night Callie would have shrunk from the word. It was a big word. With a lot of expectations.
But it was suddenly very tantalising too.
An adult relationship with a man she liked, whose company she enjoyed and who could make her laugh.
Who shared himself with her.
Who could touch her body and make her see stars, who didn’t let her hide and who understood, better than anyone else, the things from her past that had shaped her, that defined her.
She turned in his arms. He looked irresistible in his towel, his broad naked chest so sexy that even now in the middle of this momentous discussion she wanted to relieve him of the towel and give her neighbours a show they’d never forget.
‘The thing is, Sebastian, we’ve never really talked about us in any kind of future terms. I thought we were just living in the moment?’
‘I think we transcended that last night, don’t you?’ He used a finger to lift her chin slightly. ‘I think we should keep this thing going. Even when I go back.’ He shrugged. ‘Melbourne’s only a two-hour plane trip.’
Her breath caught in her throat. A long-distance relationship? It was a shocking thought. One she’d never entertained. But one, even now, despite the suddenness, was insidiously entwining itself in her grey matter.
‘Sure, why not?’ he insisted. ‘We’re having a good time. We’re both adults who are free to come and go with no commitments to other people. Who says we have to follow conventional rules? I can fly here or you can fly there. Or we can fly somewhere else and meet in the middle. There’s weekends and holidays. Why not?’
Callie chewed her lip as temptation knocked. Why not indeed?
Her in Brisbane, doing what she loved. Still around for Zack and still being there for her clients.
Him in Melbourne, doing what he loved. Being famous and important.
Then meeting somewhere to do what they both loved together.
The best of both worlds.
The more the thought sat with her the more it excited her. The more enticing the possibilities.
But. Experience told her that men often wanted more and more. Things she just wasn’t prepared to give.
She took a deep breath. ‘I’m never going to want a baby.’
Sebastian blinked. He hadn’t expected that. He’d been waiting for her to say something, something big, watching as the thing she grappled with flitted shadows through her amber eyes. But this was unexpected. ‘Of course.’
She shook her head and blasted him with a serious look. ‘I mean it, Sebastian. I’m not going to change my mind. I’m perfectly happy with my life. I don’t need to experience motherhood to have a fulfilling existence. I’ve had Zack and that was wonderful enough for me. But I’ve been here before. Sooner or later, it always gets down to babies.’
Rescued by the Dreamy Doc / Navy Officer to Family Man Page 11
