by C D Cain
Gentry was lying on the couch. She raised her arm in the air over the cushions. “Sure. Go ahead. I’m already a hot mess anyway.”
“I was wondering about Rayne? You said you didn’t really know her too much. But can you elaborate? I mean, how well did you know her?” Sam asked.
“Honestly, not much one-on-one. She was only eight when I left Addie’s and Brennin. Most of what I know is what Addie would talk about. We never let the distance come between us. We called all of the time. I’d go see her or she me. She even brought Imogene a few times to see me.” Gentry paused when she realized she was going off subject. “But I guess you could say, I feel like I know Rayne pretty well through what Addie would tell me about her. It dawned on me a while after we met that it was you Addie would talk to me about.”
“She talked about me?”
“Uh huh. She liked you.” Gentry couldn’t agree more with what Addie had described she saw in Sam. “A lot actually. Maybe that’s another reason why I felt comfortable around you—felt safe with you. Addie meant the world to me and here came this woman she had spoken highly of into my life.” Gentry raised up on both elbows to see over the counter toward Sam. “It’s silly, but it almost felt like she brought you to me. Like it was her doing.”
“But she didn’t know me that well. We had only been around each other a little bit before…” Sam stopped her sentence. She had stopped saying Rayne’s name because she couldn’t handle the sadness it always brought to her eyes. Actually, it even made her sad to think about her name. She picked up her drink glass that she had left on the counter when their dinner had arrived. The ice fell against her lips as she took the last swallow of it.
Gentry looked at Sam earnestly. “Ah, she knew you pretty well I’d say. From what I’ve seen with my own eyes, she had you pegged pretty good. You’re everything she described to me.” Gentry laid back down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. In a quieter tone, she all but whispered, “And more.”
Sam fixed another drink. “I’ll be right there.”
“She knew you two loved each other very much. She told me about how it was written all over the both of you. She was happy about it. She felt peace knowing Rayne had someone who loved her as much as you did.”
Sam closed her eyes to Gentry’s words. She sniffled her nose to swallow back the tears as she poured fresh tequila over the ice, filled the rest of it with club soda, and added a splash of lime. “I saw her when I was in Atlanta.”
Gentry swung her legs off of the couch to sit up when she saw Sam walking over to her. “Had you planned on seeing her?”
Sam shook her head no and took a healthy sip of the drink. “I went to a nightclub to see an old friend. She was there.”
“A gay nightclub?”
Sam nodded…and drank.
“Oh.”
Sam sat down next to Gentry and leaned forward to rest her arms on her knees. “She was with this woman I despise. Actually, despise may be a loose term. Gentry, it ripped me apart to watch them dance the way they were. That woman had her hands all over her. Like they were supposed to be there.” Sam pinched the bridge of her nose. “Like Rayne wanted them there.”
“I thought you told me she was engaged to a man?”
“She is. Still is. I don’t know. All I know is she was dancing with her. I think I would’ve died if they had kissed.” Sam closed her eyes. “It hurt so bad to see her like that. And of all the women, it had to be her.”
“Did you talk to her?”
“I did. I was so hurt…mad and anything else negative you can think of. I wanted her out of there so I yanked her by the hand and led her out into the streets. She says they are just friends and that it’s always been me, only me. She told me she loved me. Begged for us to be together again.”
“You didn’t believe her?”
“No, I believed her. I think I believed her. Hell, I don’t know anymore. But I think I saw it on her face that she did.” Sam sipped her drink and mumbled over the top of her glass. “All over her, really.”
Gentry put her hand on her arm. “Then why are you here, Sam? Why aren’t you with her?”
“She’s still engaged.” Sam’s voice was raised. “She said she knew she wasn’t marrying him but they’re still engaged. She can’t do it, Gentry. She’s still living a lie. She says she needs time and asked me to be beside her while she figures it all out.”
“You’ve seen Brennin. It’s not Atlanta. I’m assuming you’ve met Charlie Grace. This is no easy battle for Rayne. She’s not just coming out to herself or her parents. It’s the whole damn town she’s got to come out to. That can’t be easy or taken lightly. Of course she’s scared.”
“You wouldn’t be.”
Gentry patted Sam’s leg. “Oh Sam, you know I’m nothing like Rayne. You can’t compare what I’d do and what she’d do. We weren’t raised the same. We didn’t have the same. She fears losing everything she has ever loved. I never had it to lose.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Sam remorsefully said.
“Don’t be. This isn’t about me.” Gentry stood up and walked behind Sam’s chair. She pulled her shoulders back to rest her against the chair. “This is about you.” She began to rub the knots from Sam’s shoulders. “Now, tell me really why you didn’t stay with her like she asked. Tell me the truth.”
Sam relaxed into Gentry’s touch. She took in a deep breath because she knew exactly what Gentry was asking of her. “Because I’m scared.”
“Mmmm hmmm. Keep going.”
“She didn’t choose me before. I was right there. Standing right beside her. Had been beside her from the moment we met, but it wasn’t enough. She didn’t pick me. I’ve never hurt like that in my whole entire life. I don’t want to feel that again. Ever. I can’t.” Sam let the tears fall freely with her face hidden from Gentry. “She has to do this on her own. If she does…if she stands up to be who she is and still wants us, then maybe.”
“There it is.” Gentry kissed the top of Sam’s head and continued to work the tension from her shoulders.
The buoy dinged.
The dryness in Sam’s mouth awakened her from a not-so-restful sleep. She moved her tongue around her mouth for any moisture she could find but it was all but stolen by the multiple tequila drinks she had drank earlier. Slowly, she opened her eyes to the darkness of her bedroom but couldn’t quite remember how she had gotten there. As if with cement slippers, she moved her feet to the side of the bed with the vague hopes of actually being able to stand, much less walk to get some water.
“Here. Drink this,” Gentry said softly.
Sam couldn’t see her but she felt her voice was like a beacon from a lighthouse. It guided her to the glass placed gingerly in her hand. She began to gulp the water as if she had been stranded in the desert.
“Sips only, Sam.” Gentry pulled the glass from Sam’s hand. “We don’t want it coming back up.”
Sam rested her head back on the pillow in an attempt to slow the spinning room. “Please tell me I didn’t get sick.”
“Okay,” Gentry paused, “you didn’t get sick.”
Sam snorted and closed her eyes. “You’re here.”
Gentry ran her fingers softly through Sam’s bangs. “I am.”
“And you’re in my bed.”
Gentry scooted closer to Sam so that her body laid along hers. “I am.” She kissed her on her forehead. She felt Sam jump with the flutter in her tummy.
The white of Sam’s widely opened eyes were visible in the dark. “Did you feel that?”
“I always feel it. Seems like you felt it this time too.”
Sam sat up on her elbow. “I did.” She smiled broadly. “There it is again. She’s really moving around in there.”
“She?”
“Or he. Reflexive pronoun use,” Sam quickly said. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Gentry said nothing as she continued to run her fingers through Sam’s hair.
“I checked in on you after you left.”
“You did?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come over to your appointment.”
“You had a lot on your mind.”
“I did.” Sam laid back down and rested her hand on Gentry’s belly. “But that’s no excuse. I won’t miss another one.”
“I know.”
“The baby’s growing well. I’ve got a picture of the ultrasound from today in my…um, on my desk.”
“You do?” Gentry was surprised.
“Do you want to know the sex of the baby? I can tell you if you want.”
“It doesn’t really matter to me.” Gentry leaned over to kiss her forehead again. “Besides, something tells me you already did.”
Sam said nothing.
Gentry took in a small breath. “I got the adoption paperwork from Dr. Waggoner today. I’m still looking through the book of adoptive parents I borrowed from her office.”
Sam rubbed her thumb over the shirt covering Gentry’s belly. She smiled when she felt the baby flutter again underneath her hand. “Find her a good home.”
Gentry envisioned the ultrasound picture on Sam’s desk. She reached down to place her hand over Sam’s as it lay on her tummy. “I will.”
Chapter 20
Gentry stared at the outfits in front of her as they lay across her bed. When designing the bus with the essentials she would need for daily living, she had not found a great deal of wardrobe storage space—especially one that seemed to be growing with the increasing size of her belly. She rubbed her protruding tummy. “Girl, you are making this whole dressing thing too hard.” She held the elastic waistband jeans in front of her and pined looking at her old, favorite button-up Levis that hadn’t been worn in way too long. She folded them to tuck them underneath the other clothes she could no longer wear, vowing one day very soon she would wear the faded jeans again. Thankfully, she had not been able to dispose of the shirts she had collected from her nights at Addie’s. She pulled out the box where she kept the reminders of her. “Addie would be a good name for you,” she said as she straightened the shirt over her belly. She wondered if she could include that in her information packet Dr. Waggoner had given her to fill out for possible adoptive parents to review. She brushed through her hair, freshened her make-up, and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She looked down at her watch. “Shit, she’ll be here soon. Why on earth did I agree to this dinner?” she said as she eyed the newly cleaned bus. She had come straight home from her shift to make it as spotless as she could. The table was set up outside with a string of solar lights positioned over the top. All she had to do now was wait. She draped Addie’s button-down flannel shirt across her arm, popped in her favorite Tom Petty CD, turned the volume up and headed out to wait by the water.
“Sam!” Violet screamed as she ran toward her. She waved her free arm in the air while the other pulled her luggage behind her. The tiny wheels rolled or rather shook as they tried to keep up with her.
Sam swept her friend up in a hug. “I can’t believe you’re here.” She regarded Jazlyn who was walking behind them by stretching her arm out to include her in the hug. “That you’re both here. I missed you so much.”
Violet kissed Sam on the cheek. “Not nearly as much as I’ve missed you. It’s simply not possible.”
Sam released them both to take them in. She held Violet’s hands to lift her arms in the air. “You do know, of course, that I would’ve come and gotten you in Bangor. It’s not that far of a drive.” She motioned to the Trenton airport behind them. “You didn’t have to fly into here.”
“Hush with that,” Violet said.
“Yeah,” Jazlyn agreed. “Cape Air was pretty good for a small commuter flight.”
Sam grabbed Violet’s bag and dragged it behind her as she led them to her SUV. Violet tucked her arm into hers as they walked. “I can’t wait to show you around. You’re going to love it.”
“I’m sure. The flight over was gorgeous.” Jazlyn followed closely behind them. She loved seeing the smile on Violet’s face when she was around Sam. Lord knows she hadn’t done much to make her smile lately, what with the whole Rayne and Mo thing.
“What the hell is this? Where’s the Mercedes?” Violet said as they got close enough for Sam to unlock the doors with her fob.
Sam opened the hatch to lift their luggage into it. “Do you like it? It’s my new Xterra. I can go anywhere with this baby.”
“It’s a heck of a jump from your Mercedes. Hell, if I would’ve known we had this much room, I wouldn’t have packed so light.”
“Oh Lord, Sam, she would’ve packed her whole damn closet if you would’ve told us you had traded in.” Jazlyn patted Sam on the shoulder as she walked around her to get in the backseat. “Good call.”
Sam drove along Route 3 from Trenton to cross over into Mt. Desert Island. She marveled at the expressions on Violet and Jazlyn’s face as they took in the scenery. Eagerly, she awaited one particular area on the drive. It always amazed her in the view she would see as she rounded a particular curve just past a clearing in the trees. It was there that the road appeared to barely skim alongside the cliff. The ocean waves as they broke over the rocks was easily visible from the car windows. Sam slowed as she entered the clearing.
“Wow,” Violet said. “This is absolutely breathtaking.”
“Isn’t it?”
Violet put her hand on Sam’s arm. “It truly is. As are you, my friend. You look…hmmm. What’s the word I’m looking for…” Violet paused, “lighter. That’s it. You look lifted.”
Sam smiled at the description. It was quite fitting. That’s exactly what she had become on her northward escape.
“What are all of those little things in the water?” Jazlyn asked as she peered out of the backseat window.
“Those are lobster buoys.” Sam glanced in her rearview mirror. “Aren’t they neat? Each one is painted a particular pattern that marks the fishermen’s colors. They try not to make the patterns too elaborate because in the offseason, they have to hand paint each one. Good thing they only allow so many licenses. Otherwise, it would be a bitch to design new patterns.”
“There are so many of them.” Jazlyn’s brown-eyes were filled with excitement when she peered into the mirror back at Sam.
“There are. This is peak lobster season here. Timber, the doc I work with, has taken off a good bit to keep up with her own traps. She says with me working with her, she’s actually been able to put out all of hers this season.”
“She’s a fisher…woman?” Violet asked.
“Yep. She sure is. Crazy, huh? This woman’s a machine. She has a full clinic, takes call, is on the board of directors for the hospital, is a lobster fisherman, and has four kids with a set of twins. I swear, I get tired just watching her.” Sam tapped her steering wheel as she listed off each. “Speaking of, that’s what we planned to have for dinner tonight, if it’s alright with you two.”
“We? Is she having dinner with us?” Violet asked.
“Oh no. Sorry. We’re having dinner with Gentry.” Sam smiled. “I got carried away with y’all being here.”
Violet peeped over her shoulder toward Jazlyn and winked with the description of “we” Sam used in reference to her and Gentry. “Are you kidding me? We better have lobster since we’re in Maine,” Violet joked. “After all, it’s the only reason we came.”
Sam laughed and pinched Violet’s side. “Oh, is that a fact?”
“Ouch.” Violet moved out of her reach but then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek again. “Okay, okay, I might’ve wanted to see you too.”
Sam turned her head before Violet could sit flush in her seat again. She stole a peck on her lips. “Ditto.”
“Wa
it until you see Gentry’s place.” Sam slowed the Xterra to turn off of the main road onto the one leading to the campground. “She’s got twice the view I have from my condo. Big Blue sits down along a cliff right next to the water. The rest of the park is higher up so it gives her this amazing privacy. Like her own piece of waterfront property.”
“Big Blue?” Violet didn’t take her eyes from the view outside her window.
“That’s what we call her bus. She renovated the shit outta this old school bus.”
“Interesting.” Violet craned her neck to look up at the cliffs along the road.
“I can’t wait for you to see this place. It’s pretty amazing. She did every bit of it. Took a regular, old bus and transformed it into this cool living space. I was just as comfortable when I stayed there as I am in my condo. It’s crazy.”
Violet stole a joining smile with Jazlyn in the backseat. “Hmmm, sounds very interesting.”
Sam didn’t catch Violet’s tone as they were pulling up to Gentry’s bus. “There it is,” she said excitedly and forcefully put the vehicle in park. She beamed as they walked around the front of the bus to hear Tom Petty’s song “Wildflowers” blaring through the speakers. With the cool temperatures of September, Gentry had all of the windows of the bus open. She stood at the water’s edge with her back to them as she stared out across the water.
“Hey, you,” Sam called as they approached.
Violet grabbed Jazlyn’s arm when Gentry turned around to expose her seven-month pregnant belly. The two women hesitated in their stride long enough for Sam to walk ahead of them.
“Hey yourself,” Gentry said warmly as she accepted Sam’s hug.
Sam gestured over her shoulder. “I’ve heard a better version of this song.”
