Bohai was off socializing with the clan, so that left the ten of them alone, conversing cross-legged around the fire.
“Looks like we can sleep in tomorrow,” announced Gaius. “They are going to leave about noon. It’s going to take a couple of hours for them to drop their yurts and load them on camels, but all we have to do is drop a couple of tents.”
“Yes, everything that can be loaded, we already got packed up today. Just bedrolls inside,” said Antonius. Turning to Galosga, he said with a grin, “So how did the Tiger Lady treat you this afternoon?”
Marcia, seated next to him, elbowed him in the ribs in mock consternation. “What a question! That’s none of your business!”
“Seems the Tiger Lady made it everybody’s business. There was nothing subtle about the way she hauled him off!” answered Antonius, guffawing and slapping his leg.
“Well, it’s a good thing she didn’t haul you off. I would have killed her.” She snuggled against him. “Put your arm around me, it’s getting chilly. And thanks for turning her down.”
“I think she would have killed you first if you would have tried. Remember, she beat me, and it’s been a long time since any man beat me. So, Galosga, how was it?” said Antonius, putting his arm around Marcia. She put her head on his shoulder and snuggled dreamily.
Galosga thought a minute before answering, “She is very physical in all things.”
Everyone erupted in laughter, Ibrahim spewing a mouthful of kumis at the unexpected understatement. “I’ll bet she is that!” he laughed. He turned to Antonius. “But that was a cheap trick she pulled on you, kicking you in the nuts when you had her dead to rights.”
“The fight isn’t over until your opponent knows it’s over. I was getting such a good laugh at her taking a piss bath that I forgot she still had lots of fight left. My mistake, and she capitalized on it. There is only one rule in fighting, be the one who walks away. If that had been for real, I’d be dead. She’s a damned good fighter, and I’ll fight alongside her anytime.”
They swapped another couple of stories, then retired to their tents early, having decided they needed to replace them with a yurt before the winter set in, and not quite sure how to do that… perhaps Bohai would have some suggestions.
Hina had stayed with the riders from her own ten man arban, swapping crude jokes, laughing the harsh, barking laugh that fighting men everywhere use. Her men sought details on her adventures with Galosga. She also took some ribbing for being turned down by Antonius, which had never happened before. Their unit had also packed out already, so she had a few hours to get her ride in with Galosga in the morning, something she had wisely chosen not share with the men… no man had ever gotten a second bite of Hina’s apple before. And Galosga wasn’t going to get one, either. Just a riding lesson. She retired early, and had the yurt to herself before the rest of the troop came in.
Hina normally fell asleep in a few minutes. Not tonight. Too many things had gone out of control today. The fight with Antonius was unexpectedly difficult, one she had almost lost. His turndown was another, though as she later watched him with the Han girl, she realized what she didn’t know then, that they were lovers, which brought back memories she didn’t need to recall. If she had known, she wouldn’t have asked him. Oh, well. And Galosga. Turned down by the man she had beaten in battle, the man who accepted her had beaten her on the blankets. Galosga was an interesting character, and she regretted having shut him down at the end. But she had not shared her ‘interesting stories’ with anyone for eight years now, and she was not going to start now.
So sleep did not come.
There is a part of the mind that puts together pieces of understanding from scattered fragments. So when she heard a voice that she knew so well, had not heard in so long, and could not possibly be hearing now, she did not know if it was a vision, or her imagination.
“Hina, it’s been a long time.” The voice was so clear that she looked around the yurt, lit by the outdoors campfire, but there was no one inside.
“Get out of here, you demon, you cannot have my soul!” she said angrily, unsheathing the dagger she always kept ready at her bedside.
“I am no demon, Hina. But Tengri the skygod allowed me to come to free you of yours.”
“You’re dead, Mayu,” said Hina numbly, wishing she could see him and touch him.
“I am dead, and the last sight I saw was you aiming an arrow at my chest. I welcomed that arrow as I would welcome a kiss from your sweet mouth.”
“You must be his spirit, because no man knows that.” She put her hands to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Could she be going crazy? The other nine men filed into their yurt to take their beds, laughing, joking and scratching. They didn’t seem to notice her talking to empty air.
“They can’t see us. They only see you asleep, and cannot hear us.”
“I am not asleep! Why are you here?” she asked.
“I have a request, no, an order, that you must make a decision tonight. Either let go of my memory, or take that knife of yours, drive it into your chest and join me. ”
“How do I do that, to let go of you?” She rolled the knife around in her palm, seriously considering the second alternative. To be with Mayu again! Forever, with Tengri in the sky!
“That’s not the alternative I want you to choose,” the Mayu spirit said, reading her mind. “You know our people cannot afford to lose another fighter, especially one like you. After all, I taught you everything I knew. You went on to excel in all. I want you to continue doing that.”
“So how do I let you go? Especially when I don’t want to ever let you go.”
“You never told anyone what happened that day. That is your demon. You allow yourself no friends, so there is no chance you might accidentally share it with them. You can’t be whole until you tell that ‘interesting story,’ as that most curious fellow Galosga called it.”
“You saw… what we did?” gasped Hina. “I am sorry … I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me, and yes, I can watch what you do. I actually like Galosga, better than some of your other choices. I would like you to share with someone what the Da Qin Antonius and Marcia share, what we once shared.”
“I don’t know if I can tell him all of what happened that day.”
“Then tell parts of it. Eventually it will all come out. You know how pus builds up in an infected wound, that has to come out or you will die? That story is infecting your soul, and the only way you can lance the infection is to talk about it.”
She felt his hand on her thigh. “Goodbye, Mayu. I will always love you!”
“And I will always love you. Heal yourself, and heal yourself soon.” And he was gone.
She lay on her back, heart thudding, knowing she would try. Everything had come together, a ride with Galosga in the morning, this vision. But how could she tell anyone what happened that dreadful day? Maybe Galosga would be a good choice after all; he would only be with them a few weeks.
Galosga heard the slap on the tent side a little before daybreak. Shmuel, his tentmate, rolled over and groaned sleepily, “What the hell is that?”
“Nothing for you, go back to sleep. My riding partner,” answered Galosga as he cast the blankets aside and got into his clothes in the crisp chilly September morning. Shmuel made snuffling sounds into his black beard and pulled the covers more tightly about him. Galosga crawled out the tent entrance to find Hina waiting, holding the reins of her horse.
“I want to be back for my arban’s packout, but we have maybe four hours,” she said.
Galosga prepared his horse, harness, blanket, and saddle, carefully cinching the saddle in place. Hina inspected his work. “A little tighter, Galosga,” she said, feeling the cinch strap. “Too loose, and you will slide back and forth on the animal, uncomfortable for him and throwing you off balance. Too tight and he can’t breathe easily.”
Galosga re-cinched animal and offered it to her inspection, and she tugged again. “
That’s better. We’re going to take a slow start to get the horses warmed up, then I want you to gallop hard by yourself while I watch, and see what you can do to improve. Then we are going to ride like hell for twenty minutes. Stay with me as best you can. Try not to fall off, I don’t want to bring you back slung over your animal’s back.”
They trotted out of the camp, taking care to avoid the various obstacles in the morning half-light. Then outside the camp, Hina pulled up her horse to a halt and patted him lovingly on his black neck. “This is Eagle, for the way he flies. What is your horse’s name?”
“Gahlida. It means ‘Arrow’ in my language. Same reason, straight and true.”
“Good, you seem to have some affection for him. Now, see that rise over there, about a mile away? I want you to gallop there at a comfortable speed, but don’t try to go too fast. I will be alongside watching you.”
Galosga clucked his horse into action and bent over the animal’s neck. Their speed built up until they were clattering over the steppes at a fairly brisk pace, faster than Galosga had ever ridden, in fact. Hina galloped along side, closely observing him.
When they reached the rise she had indicated, Galosga reined in the horse with a little clumsiness; the animal wanted to continue running.
“Not bad for a beginner,” said Hina. “You need to get lower onto your horse’s neck, right into his mane, and stand up a bit in the stirrups to take your weight off his back. He will go faster, and you will be able to keep your balance better. Now, back to where we started!”
She whirled Eagle around and the horse leaped away, followed by Gahlida with Galosga very low across his back. Galosga improved with each lap. After several repetitions, Hina thought he was ready. “Just follow me, don’t try to beat me, because you can’t and you might hurt yourself, or worse, the horse. Hyaaah!” and she was off.
The grass and rocks flew by in a blur below them, rocks and dust in the two horses’ wakes. “Hyaah!” he said, imitating her cry, slapping the reins against the horse’s neck. The animal responded, and the distance between him and Hina at least stopped opening; she was now a good hundred yards in front of him. After about twenty minutes, she wheeled Eagle around to a walk, Galosga joined her and did likewise. “Good job!” she said, still without any hint of a smile.”You stayed with me. What was his name again?”
“Gahlida.”
“Yes, Gahlida the arrow! Good name for him.” She slapped Gahlida’s sweaty neck, then slid off Eagle. Galosga also dismounted. “There is a little spring over here, where they can get some water.”
After tending to their horses, they dropped the reins over the horses’ necks to lie on the ground; they had been trained to tether this way, because there was little beside grass on the steppes, no trees to which to tie them.
“Sit!” She sat down cross legged, pulled out her waterskin and took a swig, then handed it to Galosga, who had likewise seated himself beside her. He, too, drank, and handed it back. She rummaged in her pouch and found the flint arrowhead he had given her. She offered them back to him. “I forgot to return this to you yesterday.”
“Keep it,” he said. “I have other mementoes of home. Think of me when you touch the arrowhead.”
“”Thank you, I will.” She had been gathering her thoughts throughout the morning ride. She still had a lump in her throat, as she thought of the story she had to tell, and the racing of her heart had nothing to do with the horse ride.
“You wanted to hear my ‘interesting story’. I must ask you some questions first.”
“Of course,” Galosga nodded.
“Do you, your people, believe that spirits of the dead can visit us?” she asked.
“Yes, we call them spirit walkers. Some people have the power to summon them, but that can be dangerous. Some sprit walkers are evil, some are good.”
“Next question, have you ever loved someone?”
“Yes,” he answered, “I left a wife and three children back home. And yes, I loved them, and still do. She was my partner in all things, and I know she was unhappy when I failed to return.”
“If you could not get back, would you want her to take another?”
“Yes, my children need a father. When a person has been gone for a year, my people have a ceremony. Everyone gathers in the longhouse, remembers the missing man, and performs rituals to quiet his spirit. Then the wife is free to marry again. I hope she did.”
The lump in Hina’s throat was becoming thicker as he spoke. She hoped she would not shed a tear. She had not done so on that day so long ago, and had never cried since. Her men joked that she was incapable of tears.
“One more question: An-Dun’s Da Qin name is Antonius, and Si Huar’s is Marcia, are they not?”
“You mispronounce them a bit, but yes, that is correct, why?”
Hina’s heart hammered. “Last night, I was visited by the spirit of a lover long dead, and he mentioned those two names to me. I knew them only by their Hanean names. He mentioned you by name, and said I should tell you my ‘interesting story’ to heal myself. Are you ready?”
“Please.”
“Parts of this are horrible, and I have never shared these things with anyone before. Please do not share this story with anyone else, please. I must trust you … and trust does not come easily to me.” Galosga nodded, and she continued.
“I was not born to Bei’s clan, but to another. This was about the time of a great battle called Ilkh Bayan. Before that battle our encampments numbered tens, even hundreds of thousands of people, vast cities on the move across the steppes. In that battle, the Han allied with some of our Xiongnu brothers from the south and almost wiped us out. The remaining clans left and did not return. Bei’s clan is all that is left here, and we, too, are leaving today. “
“I was twelve when the Han came to our encampment. My father saw them coming, miles away. He ordered me to run, while my older brothers took up arms to fight alongside him. He said, ‘Run like the wind, Hina, run, and don’t take a horse because they will see you! If the encampment is still here tomorrow, come home, if not, go north to find another clan. Now run!’ And I ran, hearing the screams of people behind me. Even then, I was fast for a scrawny little girl. I covered about five miles until I could run no more, and turned around. And already, a tall plume of black smoke was rising from the encampment, rising until the wind whipped the top of it and spread it over the grassland.” She closed her eyes to visualize the memory.
“So I ran and walked, always north, the rising sun on my right, and the star that does not move ahead of me at night. Do you see that star where you grew up, Galosga?”
“Yes, we call it Yona the bear star, the same as the Da Qin, who call that whole group of stars the Little Bear. Continue.”
“I didn’t sleep for three days, didn’t eat, drank water from mud puddles, until I found Bei’s clan. They cleaned me up and brought me before him; he was a leader, but not yet the shanyu. I told him what had happened to my people, and he said that it was happening to all the clans, the Han were bent on wiping us out, or forcing us to go away west. He said he would find a family for me in the clan.”
She paused. “I said no, I want to be a fighter!” Me, a scrawny little girl with bumps for breasts, barely five feet tall, and I had not yet had my first bleeding! Bei laughed, and turned to his lieutenant Mayu. Mayu was commander of a zuun company of a hundred men, and trained the new would-be fighters. ‘Mayu!’ he said, ‘Can you make a fighter of out of this little waif?’ He said ‘No,’ and my heart fell. It was not unheard of for women to become fighters alongside men, but it was very rare. Then he went on. ‘If she is a fighter, I can make her a better one, but if she is not one now, I have nothing to work with. Girl, are you a fighter?’ ‘I am!’ I answered. He went on, ‘I am forming up a zuun of new recruits next week, if you want to fight, be there.’
“So I became a fighter. The boys were my age, and most just wanted to fuck me. One after another learned not to ask. I had to be better than t
hem at everything I did, and I was. I was fourteen and a young woman when I –we – went to our first battle with the Han, a little skirmish of about fifty on a side. I killed my first man that day. In fact, I killed three. Have you ever killed someone, Galosga?”
“Yes, it is not pleasant.”
“No, it isn’t. I thought that I would be happy, having killed them, but all I could remember was their eyes, surprised, hurt, then fading out. The boys didn’t seem to mind, but I did. They went to bed, and I stayed by the fire, my arms around my legs, holding them up against my chest, staring into the fire.” Amazing how much I remember of these things I thought I had forgotten. “Mayu came and sat beside me. He didn’t say anything for a long time, then he said, ‘Killing your first man isn’t easy. And it never gets better.’ He put his arm around me and just sat there. I wasn’t scrawny anymore, about the size I am now, and later that night, we made love for the first time. He took my virginity, before I knew what it was, so gently.
“But we were not supposed to do that. He was my commander. We had a tradition among our people that those who are close, like brothers, are not supposed to be in the same zuun, because they will fight for each other and not their hundred. But Mayu and I were in love, like Antonius and Marcia.” She sighed and closed her eyes, visualizing her and Mayu side by side with Antonius and Marcia. Yes, it was like that. Their light seems to burn bright, like ours once had.
“So one day we were out on patrol, just the two of us. This time there was a Han patrol out, and we were ambushed.” She stopped to consider her words. You don’t have to tell it all at once, Mayu had said.
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