by Tami Anthony
“But isn’t this a family business?” I ask. “I’m sure you don’t want to just abandon it or give it to someone you don’t really know.”
Selena smirks. “Family business,” she mutters under her breath. “My mother is dead, my father was a deadbeat, and my sister’s a tramp who lives in Florida somewhere. Trust me, there isn’t any family around who cares about this business.”
“What about you, Leslee?” Karen asks. “You could take the business over. You’re obviously fantastic at matchmaking. This would be perfect for you.”
Selena takes another swig of her wine. “If you’re a matchmaker, Leslee, then you should take over for me,” she slurs as she stumbles about the room. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind until now. Could I really be in the matchmaking business?
“I don’t know,” I answer. “I don’t know if I could.”
“The hell you can’t!” Karen shouts. “Take the business, Leslee. This woman wants to get rid of a legit business in matchmaking, something you obviously do well.”
“I can’t just take someone’s business,” I answer. “It’s not fair.”
“Take the goddamn business, Leslee,” Karen tells me. “You are a good matchmaker, and let’s be real. It’s the holidays. I bet that this business is the best during this time of year because who wants to be by themselves for the holidays, right Selena?”
“Righhhhht,” Selena says as she wobbles her head up and down. It’s true. Karen does have a valid point. But to be fair, Selena is pretty drunk. She probably has no idea of what she’s saying.
“Leslee, please,” Selena begs. “This business is nothing but a burden to me. I need to go out and travel the world. I need to do some major eating, some praying, and some loving. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll take twenty percent of the profits. I’ll still co-own the place partially.” Uh, making less money in this crazy scheme? That’s supposed to make me feel better? I roll my eyes. Ugh, I hate being put on the spot. I just shrug my shoulders.
“Come on, Leslee,” Karen says. “You have nothing to lose.”
“Leslee, you know people better than I know people,” Selena tells me. “You’ll have all the clients and you can help them find love better than I ever could I’m sure.” Why do I feel as if this is some sort of sick joke? Maybe, as Karen would put it, it’s a sign … from Cupid.
I slowly begin to nod my head. I think I can do this. No, I know I can do this. So why not? Life is short, right? God, I hope Karen is right about me being the modern-day Cupid. “OK,” I agree. “I’ll do it!”
“Thank you!” Selena says jumping up and down. Karen and Selena both hug me at the same time, both jumping in the air. “Believe me, you won’t regret it!” Selena assures me. God, I hope not.
“So, Ms. Matchmaker,” Karen starts, “what’s the first thing you’ll do in this office?”
I begin to look around and I stop to pick up a piece of glass from the floor. This is definitely worse than Mr. Kirkpatrick’s desk. “First, I’m going to clean and redecorate this office … and then I’ll be doing criminal background checks on all the clients.”
“Oh, I’m really sorry about that, Leslee,” Selena says.
“It’s OK,” I tell her. “I learned a really good lesson from that experience.”
“Which was?” Karen asks.
“People are not always what they seem,” I answer. “And life is too short to give up on love.”
Karen and Selena look at me in awe. “That is such a good motto,” Selena says as Karen nods her head.
“Yeah,” Karen agrees. “But you should also add, ‘Criminals need not apply.’”
“You’re right, Karen,” I tell her. “You’re absolutely right.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?! I think to myself as I pace back and forth in front of Mr. Kirkpatrick’s office. It’s the end of the day, my last day at David’s office and I have yet to turn in my resignation. Why, you ask? Because I’m scared shitless. I’m completely and utterly afraid of the decision that I’ve made for myself and if it will work out for me. I mean, I don’t know anybody who owns a success matchmaking business, but maybe that’s a good thing. No competition. I can’t believe that I’ve decided to leave my steady job for something that may not be steady. I guess that’s life though. You have to take risks, right? I sigh as I enter into David’s office.
“Mr. Kirkpatrick?” I say nervously. Is it hot in here or is it just me? “I need to talk to you.” My hands are behind my back as if I’m a kid going to the principal’s office for starting the food fight in the cafeteria. It also doesn’t help that I opted for the Catholic schoolgirl look today: gray and black plaid skirt, a purple V-Neck sweater and a pair of Mary Janes. Usually I’m up on my fashion game, but this morning I was completely out of sorts. I was so afraid of what Mr. Kirkpatrick will say to me after I quit my job, but now I get to find out for certain what he thinks.
David motions me towards a chair in front of him and I sit. Wow, this is kind of surreal. This is the same chair that I sat in for my interview with him. He offered me a job in this same chair, and now I’m giving the job back.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” I start as my legs are crossed and I can’t stop moving my hands. Nervous much?
Mr. Kirkpatrick looks at me and smiles. I can’t do this while he’s smiling. This is horrible and awkward at the same time! “What’s on your mind?” he asks.
“I, um, don’t know how to say this without it sounding kinda bad, but …” I take a dramatic deep breath. “I’m moving on to a new career path,” I blurt out. “I have to resign from your office.”
David pulls out a checkbook from the drawer of his desk and begins to write in it. “How much do you want?” he asks.
“Excuse me?”
“How much do you want?” David repeats. “I don’t want you running off to another law firm when I need you here, so name your price.”
I begin to shake my head. “Oh, I’m not going to another law firm,” I inform him. “I somewhat inherited a business … from a friend. It has absolutely nothing to do with law.”
He sits back in his chair. “Oh, I see,” he says. “Can I ask you what it is?”
“Matchmaking,” I answer. “It’s a matchmaking business for people looking for love, and I’ve been told that I am the modern-day Cupid so …” I sigh. “I’m sorry, Mr. Kirkpatrick, but I have to follow my heart in this. I’m so sorry.”
The awkward silence between us is enough to scare me. I’m beginning to see that imaginary smoke rise in the room. He doesn’t look pissed off, but he doesn’t look happy either. He shrugs his shoulders and begins to nod his head.
“OK,” he tells me. “I understand. You have to do what’s best for you.”
“I never really knew what was best for me, but now I think I have an idea,” I reply. I feel badly about leaving him like this, but what am I to do? If someone gives you an already-successful business, then you should run it, right? This is risky. This is all just too risky for me, but that’s the excitement of it all. I have to live my life and do things that I normally don’t do that way I can say that I actually lived.
David looks at me and shakes his head. He smiles. “What am I going to do without you?” he asks. “Leslee, you’ve done more for me and this office than any other paralegal has done.” David rises from his seat, walks around his desk and hugs me. “You do know that any time you want to come back here, my door is still open.”
I laugh. “That actually makes me feel better,” I tell him. “Because then if I fail horribly—”
“Then you’ll be coming back to me,” he says then sighs. “Now I’ll have to find someone to fill your place, but I’ll never find another you.” I start to think. Of course he’s right. There isn’t another me or anybody like me, but what if he had a paralegal that only worked like me? Once again, the light bulb goes on over my head.
I smile. “I have a crazy idea that you might go fo
r,” I tell him.
“What is it?”
I stand up from the chair I’m sitting in to sit in David’s big lawyer chair. I begin to dial numbers on his office phone.
“Hello?” Minnie says miserably over her cell phone.
“Hey, Minnie?” I say. “It’s me, Leslee.”
“Leslee?” she asks. “What the hell are you doing calling me? You know I’m at work and Thomas hates you.”
“Yeah, I know,” I answer. “Anyway, I was calling to offer you a job.”
“I’m listening …”
“Well, it’s in Philly,” I start. “For a very handsome and successful attorney.” I wink at David.
“Go on …”
“He’s in need of a paralegal to replace me at his office.”
“I’m grabbing my purse but I’m still listening …”
“It’s very good pay and the hours are less than what you’re working now,” I inform her.
“I’m standing up out of my desk chair …”
“So of course you would have to relocate down here but you can always stay with me for a while until you find your own place, rent free.”
“I’m walking out of my office as we speak and giving my resignation,” Minnie says.
“If you want the job, it’s yours,” I tell her. “So, when can you get your ass to Philly?”
“Hold on for just a second, Leslee,” Minnie tells me as I hear a door open through the phone. “Hey, asshole!” Minnie yells to the person in her office. “I quit this bitch!” I hear her slam the door. “Okay, Leslee?”
“Yeah, Min?”
“I’ve officially informed Thomas of my resignation,” she tells me. “I’ll be on the first bus to Philly today.”
“Excellent,” I say as I hang up the phone. I look over at a very stunned David Kirkpatrick. “Problem solved. Position filled,” I say, smiling. If there’s anyone that can do my job the right way, it would be Minnie. Thank God she said yes, or Kirkpatrick would have been completely screwed. All in a day’s work, I think to myself. All in a day’s work …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Can you just imagine if I decided to get married here?” Karen asks me as we walk up the many steps outside of the Philadelphia Art Museum. “This is just too beautiful for words. It’s almost too bad that we decided to get married in the Winter. If it was Spring, then this would be perfect.”
I begin to picture it in my head. I nod as I clutch tightly onto the gift bag in my hand. “Yes, a very elegant outdoor wedding,” I say. “What you’re doing is special, though. Not everyone gets married on New Year’s Eve.”
“True.”
“What better way to bring in the New Year than with the love of your life?” I say as she sits on one of the steps. I can’t tell if it’s me or not, but it looks as if Karen is on the verge of tears. She puts her head in her hands and sighs. Something is definitely wrong. I can see it. “Karen, are you OK?”
“Yes,” she answers. “Of course. I’m bringing in the New Year with the love of my life. I should be happy, right?” Oh shit, I think to myself. Ladies and gentlemen, it looks to me as if the crazy Bridezilla might actually be getting cold feet. This is not good. This is definitely not good.
I sit next to Karen on the cold steps and put my arm around her. “You should be happy,” I tell her. “In fact, you are happy. You’ve been with Russ for almost a decade and it’s about time you guys get married already.”
“I’m just nervous with the whole marriage thing,” she tells me. “You see couples all the time that have been together for years, and then as soon as they get married their relationship falls apart. I don’t want to be that person. I want Russ and me to be this eternal thing. I don’t want to have three marriages in one lifetime. People will get sick of buying me wedding gifts.”
I laugh. “That’s not gonna happen with you and Russ,” I assure her. “You guys were made for each other. I’ve never seen any couple in my lifetime as happy as you two are.”
“But we’ve been fighting about this wedding for months,” she tells me. “From the cost of it to the food and where we would exchange our vows. I know it’s all planned out now, but we just fought about every single detail.”
I look at her and shake my head. “That’s because you’re stubborn,” I tell her. “I love you, Karen, but you can be a bitch to deal with. You weren’t compromising on anything when it came to the wedding.” I must’ve released the beast somehow because Karen’s head has popped up quickly and she’s giving me the Attitude Face. You know, that face of being defensive even though there’s a possibility that you could be wrong.
“Leslee, it’s my wedding day!” she proclaims.
“No,” I answer. “It’s your and Russ’ wedding day. You have to meet him halfway with some things.”
“OK, I guess you’re right,” Karen agrees. “So what about you?”
I shrug. “What about me?”
“When are you going to start dating again?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I answer quickly. “When I’m ready, that’s when.”
“And are you sure that not being ready has absolutely nothing to do with the whole Eric disaster?” Karen asks and I pause. Why does she have to bring it up? It’s been months since I’ve seen him and I haven’t spoken with him since that night. It was a stupid thing, a meaningless thing. People do dumb shit in their adulthood which can cause loss of friendships, unexpected pregnancies, and so on. I was drunk that night and we were dumb. Are people not allowed to do stupid things anymore without hearing comments from their friends?
“That night should’ve never happened,” I tell her. “It was just a mistake between friends, that’s all.”
Karen smirks. “A mistake that was waiting to happen since college,” she mutters under her breath.
“OK, I don’t know what to say to him,” I admit. “I haven’t tried contacting him and he hasn’t tried contacting me, so I’m assuming that we’ll both forget it ever happened.”
“All right,” Karen answers slowly. “One more question and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Sure,” I say, even though it’s driving me crazy how she could just ask about Eric and me as if it’s not a sensitive subject (but it actually is!). It just feels weird talking about him like this and I really don’t know why.
“How come you turned him down in college?” Karen asks and I just shake my head.
“Because at the time,” I start, “I did like him, but I was afraid to get hurt. Happy now?”
“No,” Karen blurts out. “I want to know more.”
“It’s nothing,” I tell her. “We’re two totally different people now with two totally different lives. It would never work out between us.” I hand her the oversized gift bag. “You do realize that you have just ruined this moment for me.”
Karen’s mouth drops. “What is this?” she asks.
“Consider it an early wedding gift,” I tell her. She looks at me in surprise, and then begins to take the big white gift box out of the bag. Karen pauses for a moment. “Well, go ahead,” I demand. “Open it.” She flips the lid off of the box, stares at what’s inside, and then happily screams.
“Holy Vivienne Westwood,” she utters in amazement as she partially pulls out the designer beaded wedding gown. “Oh my God! This is beautiful. When? How? Why?” For once in Karen’s life, she is speechless. Finally, I’ve found something to shut her up, even if it came with a very hefty pricetag.
“It’s your ‘something new,’” I explain. “I saw that you had marked it as your dream dress in one of those bridal magazines you were carrying around. I pulled some strings with a friend in New York and I bought it for you. I knew that you weren’t completely satisfied with the dress you had, so I figured there’s nothing wrong with upgrading.”
Karen begins to breathe heavily. “I don’t know what to say,” she blurts out. “I’m just so happy!” Karen turns to me. “You are the best bridesmaid and friend ever. Thank you!” She hug
s me and doesn’t let go. Another smothering bear hug, I think to myself. My best friend is truly crazy.
She puts the dress back into the bag and we begin to walk down the art museum stairs. “I don’t know how this day will get any better,” Karen says, smiling. “I now own a Vivienne Westwood wedding dress. I can die happy now.”
“Please don’t croak before your wedding day,” I joke. “Someone has to wear that dress down the aisle.” I point out a newspaper vendor on the street and we walk towards it.
“So how is the matchmaking business going?” Karen asks.
I nod my head. “It’s doing very well considering I don’t have a relationship of my own,” I tell her. “Sometimes I feel like I’m contradicting myself, and other times I’m just happy to see others so happy around the holidays.”
“Yeah, true,” she answers. “Speaking of the holidays, you better be at my annual holiday party next week.”
“I will. I can’t wait,” I say. “I haven’t been to a party in months it seems.” I order a coffee then pick up a newspaper from the vendor and begin to skim it over.
“Well, make sure you come hungry because they’ll be a lot of food and drinks,” Karen tells me as my eyes are glued to the first page of the newspaper. My jaw suddenly drops. “What’s wrong?” Karen asks and I just shake my head. The heading of the paper just says it all: New York City Anchor Man: Broke, Homeless and a SEX ADDICT. The picture underneath the title is none other than Victor, my ex-fiancé, looking like a drunken deer in headlights with terrible morning shadow. I smile as I put the newspaper back in place and pick up my coffee. We begin to walk away from the vendor.
“Anything good in the national news today?” Karen asks.
“Let’s just say that my holiday has just gotten a hell of a lot happier,” I answer, laughing. I just love karma, don’t you?
Chapter Twenty-Four
It’s officially the evening of Karen and Russ’ big holiday party, the event that they’ve been looking forward to all year, well except for the wedding of course. Here I stand outside of Karen and Russ’ door sporting a short, black satin dress paired with black stockings and black high heels. All this black is making me feel like I’m going to a funeral or something. I hope this party won’t be the death of me. Matchmaking has made me so exhausted lately.
