We named her Loretta.
Weeks later we discovered she was really a he. So now we have a daughter with a boy name, and a little boy donkey with a girl name. Clearly, anything is possible at Mischief Farm.
For every death, there is a birth. For every winter, there is a summer. And as things bloom and grow and live here, we are constantly reminded what a gift it is to put our hands in the dirt and connect with the land and each other through Mischief Farm.
Acknowledgments
There’s always the fear that you will forget someone when saying thank you. So please let me begin by saying that I’m so grateful to every single person in this book. As I said in the beginning, this is a love letter. My affection runs deep for all the people, places, and creatures in its pages. Happiness begins with gratitude, and so I humbly thank all the folks who have contributed to my family’s joy. Now that that’s established, let’s commence with the love fest.
Alexis Gargagliano—I’ve been writing my entire life, but there was so much I needed to be taught. Thank you for being a supportive teammate and a wealth of knowledge and patience. I respect the hell out of you.
Meg Mortimer—since I was nineteen years old, you have been my rock. Thank you for always defending me and never pushing me to be anything other than myself. I love you very, very much. Your husband and kids are pretty damn great too!
Rick Dorfman, Liz DeCesare, and Anthony Mattero—thank you for believing in me and supporting me in the creation of this project. You were the first to see the vision.
Katy Hamilton and the HarperOne family—thank you for hearing my story and absolutely getting what I wanted to say with this book. You are true champions, and I hope we continue to create together.
The amazing team that supports Jeffrey and me: Robert Strent, Jordan Manekin, Barry McPherson, Abe Altman, Jeanne Yang, Theresa Peters, Jen Allen, Sara Planco, and Stuart Rosenthal—you all easily could have given us hell for running away and falling off the radar. Instead, you put our happiness over any work concerns and supported us at every turn. I’m so thankful.
Big shout-out to Steve Pregiato and Jeffrey Robertson for guiding us through all of our stages—you two are so wonderful.
Danneel and Jensen Ackles—my God I love you guys. Thank you for knowing what I needed, even when I didn’t.
Claudia, Doris, and Brittany—thank you for loving my children and helping me to be a better mother. We treasure the time you have spent with our family.
The late Deborah Frank, who showed me immeasurable kindness, Nancey Rosensweig, and the Neugarten Family Birth Center—as a woman who wanted to “get back to nature,” I felt that the empowerment you gave me transcended childbirth.
Our various TV and film families: MTV, One Tree Hill, White Collar, Lethal Weapon, Grey’s Anatomy, Magic City, The Walking Dead, my Christmas movie cult, and so many others—your enthusiasm for our lifestyle really made all the difference. Thank you for seeing the magic in it and for going out of your way to accommodate our special circumstances.
The Squatches: Ashley Hoyt, Erica Wible, Tory Silvestri, and Sarah Baughman—it would be impossible for me to love you more. Happiness is making movies in the Barnes basement and pool parties at the Dawsons.
Nick Gray—my soul twin. Let’s make all the same mistakes together. Forever.
To the folks who welcomed us with open arms here in the Hudson Valley: Rick Reilly, our lovely neighbors on West Pine Road, Roger and Pam Hoffman and the Barn Sale family, Ms. Patty, the Page family, Griffin Dunne and Charlie Wessler, Andrew Stewart and Cricket Lengyel, all the parents from school who have been exceedingly warm and inclusive—you don’t know what it means to us as a family to have found this place. It truly takes a village. And ours is spectacular.
Jeremy and Addie Sisto—your validation of our little cabin in the woods started this whole full-time adventure. Move here already!
Andy and Sophie Ostroy, Phoebe Jonas, Julie, Paul, Jack, and Darby Rudd—you are our family. Our lives are infinitely richer for knowing you. Let’s celebrate with an ice cream pie from Holy Cow!
John, Ally, and Charlie Traver—the bravery you showed after Ira’s passing was so noble. Let’s keep showering the world with sugar and caffeine forever! Love you guys.
To the businesses in town that started off as friendships and evolved into partnerships after our Samuel’s purchase and during our work with Astor: Jeanne Fleming of Sinterklaas fame, Kim Williams and the Williams Lumber family, Barbara and Dick Schreiber of the Rhinebeck Department Store, Jass Liu and John Kim and family at Osaka, Connie and the gang at Pete’s Famous Restaurant, Oblong Books & Music, Hammertown, Changes, Paper Trail, Land of Oz Toys, Liberty, Aroi, Piper Woods at Montgomery Row, Jen and Joe Dalu at Le Petite Bistro, Doug and Lynn at the Rhinebeck Artist’s Shop, Joe and Kim Curthoys at Rhinebeck Wine and Liquor, Bruce and Jamie at Hummingbird Jewelers, Elena at Land of Oz Toys, my sweet sweet Mari Bird at Willow Wood, Davis Furniture in Poughkeepsie, the Rhinebeck Chamber of Commerce, the Town Board of Rhinebeck, Enjoy Rhinebeck, and too many others to mention—you have built an environment that is inspiring to be a part of. I hope this book serves as a testament to my gratitude.
Our Samuel’s Sweet Shop team: Joan and Bill Burhans, John Marvin, Patricia Curthoys, David Tellerday at M&T Bank, Celeste Oxendine, Donna Weber, and all our other talented makers, our fabulous employees, and our loyal customers over the years—our little shop is a landmark of love, and it wouldn’t exist without you.
Our Mischief Farm gurus: Sunny, Dana and family, Ed and Barb Hackett and their wonderful kids, all the folks at Hackett Farm Supply, the Whalens, our vets Gillian Ferguson and Countryside Animal Hospital, Dr. Crumb, Twist of Fate Spinnery, and all the other hardworking men and women who have been so generous with their knowledge and time—we will always be a work in progress, so your belief in us and your friendships have been such blessings. Thank you.
Our dear friends Sharagim and Sean Kemp and Tara Shafer and Gavin Curran—you have been there through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s crazy how life works, putting you exactly where you need to be at any given time. And I’m so glad I was put here with you. I love you and your families madly.
Astor and all the wonderful people who came into my life because of it: Kate and Mike Kortbus, Lawrie and Bryan Firestone, Donna Faraldi, Jim and Ginny Schwab along with Families for Astor, Sonia Barnes-Moorhead, Jim McGuirk, Kim McGrath, James Reardon, Ed Pruitt and the amazing staff at our Rhinebeck facility, Mark and Jess McEathron and the whole team of McEathron Contracting, Chuck Merrihew, Mike Sr. and Mike Jr. of Stanhope Electric, Mike Diblasi and the family of Diblasi Painting, Tim Decker, Frank Talbot, Rob Hunter from Benjamin Moore, Mary Stuart Masterson, Clayne Crawford, Michael Raymond James, Tyler Hilton, and all of our other talented friends who have helped us at our fundraising performance each year, and all the members of the press who have lovingly covered our efforts—thank God for you. Honestly. You spread light and love, and I’m humbled to work alongside you.
To the families and loved ones of Sgt. Scott Kirkpatrick, Ira Gutner, and Bill Paxton—thank you. Thank you for sharing your guys with us. Thank you for letting us claim a tiny bit of their memory. Thank you for loving them and helping to create such warm, smart, generous spirits. In our lives, we all hope to make a difference and leave something valuable behind. Scott and Ira and Bill are imprinted on our hearts, and they are the legends we tell our kids about. Sending you all so much love and gratitude.
To Jeff’s parents, Dick and Kath Morgan and Sandy and Tom Thomas—I love your son. Thank you for him, and for celebrating the crazy turn our lives took when we moved here.
To my mom and dad, Bill and Lisa Burton—weekend trips to Skyline Drive, Christmas tree shopping, making homemade Halloween costumes, telling stories that we’d repeat over and over—you made magic out of the mundane. If I have accomplished anything of value in my life, it is because you believed in me and gave me the tools to take risks. I love you.
M
y brothers and their spouses: Billy, John, Conrad, Kim, Christina, Jessica—planting pumpkins behind the house, telling secrets through the vents, jumping off of the top bunk, ghost encounters and belief in Bigfoot—we are a tribe of weirdoes, and I cherish all of our shared adventures. Love you guys. Otto and Rhett Burton! Auntie Hil is obsessed with you wild men!
Jeffrey Dean. My husband—you work harder, love stronger, and have more faith in me than anyone. When I am a hundred years old, rocking in my chair, lost in memories, I will replay our story over and over and smile for all the joy we have had. Thank you for finding me.
Augustus Dean and George Virginia—there is no accomplishment in my life greater than being your mother. It is what I’ve wanted my entire life. I love the life we have built here, but I’m keenly aware that home is wherever you two are. I love our winters in front of the fire. I love our springs playing in the flowers. I love our summers getting dirty in the garden. And I love our autumns with their colorful festivities. You two are golden and the whole heart of Mischief Farm.
Mama adores you.
And thank YOU for reading this book and supporting Mischief Farm. Shop at mom-and-pop establishments and support local farmers as much as you can. They are the tapestry that makes our small towns so very beautiful.
Photo Section
Alice
Our cabin
Gus shortly after he was born
My brother John and me taking down a popcorn ceiling at my parents’ house, preparing me for all the Mischief Farm renovations
Bisou with the “Bisoulions” we named after her
Gus with Tom Turkey
Jeff and Bill Paxton
Jeff and his donkey, Paxton, named after Bill
Painting of Ira by Tom Cale
Gus living up to his “Lonesome Dove” namesake at the cabin
Alexander
Jeffrey and me in front of the kissing booth at Samuel’s
Mischief headstone
Gus with birds in our bathroom
My “boyfriend” Ed Hackett at the fair
Our last day with Bisou
Our donkeys Ally and Loretta
Beginnings of the Ira Gutner Garden
Trying to get rid of morning glories in the garden
Out to dinner with the Rudds, Ostroys, Kemps, and Hacketts
Picking dandelions on George’s first Mother’s Day
Mountain man and George
George wearing Queen Anne’s lace
Astor fundraiser with Tyler Hilton, Clayne Crawford, Michael Raymond-James, and Mary Stuart Masterson, 2018
The Astor ladies: Lawrie Firestone, Kate Kortbus, and Donna Faraldi
Dad and helpers
Gus and Paxton
The girl alpacas
Happy girls
Redhead cow
John Traver and me at Teddy Bear Beauty Pageant, Sinterklaas
Pumpkin patch, 2018
Me and George at the wedding
Gus dancing at our wedding reception
The best moment: exchanging vows with my Jeffrey
About the Author
HILARIE BURTON MORGAN has been a grocery store checkout girl, a waitress, an MTV VJ, an actress, a farmer, a candy store owner, a producer, and is now an author. But she is proudest to be a mother and wife. She lives with her husband and two wild children in the Hudson Valley of New York.
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Copyright
This book includes information related to health, diet, gardening, agriculture, and home improvement. It is based on the research, experience and observations of the author, and should not be considered a substitute for the advice of a qualified professional in the relevant field. The author and the publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained herein.
Quote here attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson comes from the subtitle of the play Admiral Guinea.
Quote here attributed to L. M. Montgomery comes from a TV series adaptation of Montgomery’s books.
Quote here attributed to Gabriel García Márquez comes from the book Living to Tell the Tale.
THE RURAL DIARIES. Copyright © 2020 by North Ithaca, Inc. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Cover design: © HarperCollins
Cover illustrations: Philip Radiotes
Cover photograph: Bryan Firestone
FIRST EDITION
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
Digital Edition MAY 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-286272-3
Version 03142020
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-286275-4
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The Rural Diaries Page 21
