[Rude] (3), [Clever] (4), [Greedy] (1), [Defiant] (6),
[Self-Serving] (2)
I happily checked my [Red Imp]’s personality traits again. Defiant was easy to exercise. Being greedy and self-serving was easy to insert here. Rude was natural to me. This whole clever thing was probably my many attempts at bypassing Requiem’s orders and finding new ways to off him.
So far I hadn’t let those traits bleed over much into Hermes or real life. It was strange how a year of pretending everything was okay for customer service had built acting skills. Maybe everyone was an actor to some extent.
“You already got cupcakes,” Requiem gave a dry response.
Once again, I thought about Dusk. He would be free of this stupid binding and could just fireball Requiem in the face. That would be awesome.
“What else isthere?” I tapped my foot while trying to remember the salsa beat. It was quick and fast and saucy. My face turned up in disgust at this place. There was nowhere to dance. That was the worst thing about these woods.
“You need more?” he asked.
“Paidtimeoff.” I spouted the first thing in my head once again. It was awkward sometimes, but kind of fun. “Unionbreaks. Representation. Goldandjewels andother shiny things. Thingsto stab. Like you.”
I watched Requiem shake his head while trying to decipher the list of items to come out of my mouth. He wasn’t the only one confused by my demands. Most of them were utter nonsense to me.
“You’re saying you want more to help me with this quest?” Requiem stated. Once again, he stomped back to the pot and threw in our latest leftovers.
“Ofcourse. We allhave wants. You only know the stick. No carrot. Stupiddumb head,” I said while trying to give a feral grin.
“Well, I’m not giving you any gold.” Requiem looked around at the camp. His eyes seemed to be exhausted. Sitting out here for so long and being in-game most of the time had to be draining.
My constant badgering and now asking for more was like piling straws on and hoping his back would break. “I don’tknow why not. You havecontacts selling for you.” I pretended to mutter the words under my breath.
He took the bait. “How do you know about that?”
“My brother.” I smiled happily. Maybe the Voices would generate this poor nameless [Red Imp] a big brother. Requiem needed more drama in his life.
“Yeah? Maybe I can meet this brother of yours. He’s probably useful.”
“More likelytoeat you.” I shrugged. Making up details about a fictional person was kind of fun. “Justtheright spices and even you mightbesweet-tasting.”
“I think that answers the question on which one of us is a demon,” Requiem said.
I almost clamped a hand over my mouth but managed to giggle instead. Clearly the game was warping any sense of humor the years had given me.
“Anyway, I expecttoget something. Anything useful. Oh, andaname. I’m tired of heyyou, holdthat one.” I gave my nails a glance and frowned in displeasure. They were sharp poky things like the tail.
“A name?” He sounded honestly confused by that one. As if it hadn’t occurred to him that anyone might not have a name. I was even more certain that Requiem did not own a cat.
“Something useful, like I’mwithstupid. Or Myownerisslow. Deathtocats.” I had put a lot of thought into a possible name for the [Red Imp]. It was weird thinking of myself as not having one. Deathtocats was a long shot though, plus I personally liked cats.
“Don’t you have one already?” Requiem asked.
“Not one youcanuse. If I hadone, I’duse it.” I shrugged.
Background Generated:
[Nameless] - Your [Red Imp] self is currently nameless and wants to find a good one. Sadly, he doesn’t know very many people and is subject to the whims of his contractor.
[Little Brother] - Your [Red Imp] has a big brother. The following traits have been applied to this new brother. [Greater Demon], [Protective], [Sadistic], [Really Big Brother], and [Unbound Entity].
That was easy enough. Mess with another human being long enough and the computer would generate pop-up boxes. There was probably a life lesson in there about my entire experience with Continue Online.
“We’ll see. For now, since you said you’re ready, let’s finish last night’s dungeon.”
“Eh? There?” I had no idea where he was talking about. There hadn’t been a dungeon to my knowledge. My last one had been rather interesting, if limited.
“Yes. You’re trained enough, and my recipe is almost done. Soon I’ll be able to enchant everything.”
“Eh,” I said with far less interest.
“If you do a good job, I’ll enchant you something too. With the leftovers, of course.” Requiem checked his pot of goo again and nodded. He was probably checking exactly how much was in there. “Yes. This should come out excellently.”
“If stupidhead says so.” I stared at the synchronization bar and wondered how easy reaching seventy-five percent would be. There was only another chunk to go. Doing this dungeon might send it either way.
If nothing else, going might get me loot. I hadn’t really done anything with the game’s items as Hermes or the [Red Imp]. Beating people using [Morrigu’s Gift] and its echo was the only trick I seemed to know.
“When dowego?”
“Now you’re eager to do something?”
“Yes. I’ll evenwaivekilling you in this dungeon. For items. This precious lootyoukeepselling.” My personal efforts at eliminating Requiem’s character had failed. Maybe the secret was to let the autopilot succeed. Getting to seventy-five percent using the [Self-Serving], [Clever], and [Greedy] characteristics should hopefully assist in unlocking the next Rank of skills.
“One item,” Requiem said.
“Five!” I countered. This argument was only going to end one way. My real goal was to mess with the Traveler anyway.
“One item.” He held firmly, as expected.
“Three!” I tried.
“One item.”
“Of my choice.” Each attempt sent a positive marker through my synchronization bar. Not enough to go up a full percent, but it was the right thing to do while staying in character.
“Fine.” He looked as if my request was pulling teeth out.
I wasn’t the only one greedy around here. At least I was pretending. Requiem Mass was somehow sending his items to a merchant player and turning them into real money, and I was being greedy asking for an item.
“Prat. Jerk. Selfcentered littlebrat,” The words came out in a rush of grumbling. “Dunghead. Idiot. Mcbuttface.” They sounded clunky to my ears, so they were likely in [Demonic] or whatever language [Red Imp]s spoke.
“Come on. We’re not going to waste time.” Requiem shook his head and dusted off his hands. He picked up items from all over the camp with an effectiveness that rivaled Shazam’s.
I fluttered after the Traveler but stayed out of reach. Requiem wasn’t likely to have forgiven me for all the earlier barbs and cruel jabs. There was no way I would have forgiven me in his shoes. My attempts at prodding were far ruder than any questioning James had subjected me to.
Ironically, I felt that poking at his soft spots had been easy. Having my own scars made it simple to find his. A year of hearing other people’s stories and self-improvement attempts along with tons of therapy.
I swallowed and faltered in my flight. What exactly was I trying to do to another player? This was a real human on the other side of this machine. Almost two days of personal attacks had to stop. In-game commentary, issues with how he fought, and making fun of his clothing were all fair game.
Trying to take this quest between us to the outside world was not neat at all. This was just a game to Requiem. That which was in Continue Online would stay in Continue. My recent actions had crossed the line rather firmly, and it was time to rein myself back in.
Requiem stopped in front of a huge tree. I lost track of him while staring up in awe. This was the biggest and most dead-lookin
g piece of future timber ever. An image of the tree burning came to mind happily.
Punched like you owe someone money
Total health loss: 40%
Continue Online was happy to provide me both stars swirling at eye level and a pop-up box. Neither was a solid enough hint about what had happened. A giant finger kept sliding in and out of focus.
That finger belonged to Requiem, who looked pissed. “I put up with a lot of shit from you, but you talk about my mom again, and I’ll make everything we’ve been through so far look like child’s play.”
I felt a slew of emotions cross my face. Part of me felt terrible for even letting this happen in the first place. Personal attacks were downright rude no matter where they happened. Requiem Mass may be an asshole and practically five, but my insults made him seem adult-like.
“We clear?”
Requiem’s foot was bigger than my head. My wings were wiggling and trying to escape, but being on the ground made it hard.
I hastily nodded. Being punched and tortured was counterproductive to quest completion for both of us. Being punched also made my head ring fiercely. There wasn’t even a dazed message.
“Good. Now that we’re settled. You help me clear this dungeon, and no goofing around, and you can have one item of your choice at the end. Deal?”
“Okay, twerp,” I used Vlad’s name for Requiem.
Two boxes came into being. One informed me of the newest contract between familiar and summoner. The other was another percentage increase that came with a note.
+4 [Divine Attention]
Heh. Twerp. – Vlad
Requiem glared, and I tried not to roll my eyes. How on earth had the Voice contacted me without using the messenger’s tube? I would ask that question later once back in Hermes.
“I have a name for you,” he said.
“Layit onme.” This would be neat. I bet the player had spent entire minutes trying to think of something clever and snarky to label me with.
“Twerp.” Requiem smiled at me.
Scratch that, he must have been hit with sudden inspiration.
“Rejectedvetoed andno, that’s your name.” I smiled back. “Twerp.”
“Shut it, or I’ll hit you again.” He turned to the tree and started poking at air. Requiem was fiddling around in his player menus with something. A moment later, his two swords were equipped and ready to go.
“Then who would help youclear this place?” Too bad I had no real equipment. Just a loincloth and weapon to my nameless imp self.
“If you’re useless, I’ll do it myself. Besides.” Requiem waved and threw a small ball of flame at me.
The earlier damage from being clocked in the face vanished as fire warmed every inch of me. Right. He could throw fire around and it would heal me. How perfect was it that his preferred method of causing damage just happened to close up any wounds I accumulated? It was almost like the Voices had handcrafted my passives for this situation.
My eyes rolled. They probably had. That meant they’d thrown in the whole demonic tongues language to ensure I could understand his stupid poetry reciting. I tried not to twitch in annoyance.
“Did you hear me?” Requiem said.
“Sure. You’retoo useless, I’ll doit myself.” I waved the tiny arm holding my [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] toward the Traveler.
He scowled and pointed at the giant tree. “We’re going down there. You’re following orders, and we’re going to clear it all the way down to the roots.”
“And take all the items.” I played up the [Greedy] aspect.
“All of them.” A clear look of desire passed over his face. If Travelers had thought bubbles, his would be a banker counting coins.
“And I get five.”
“One.” Requiem looked sour.
Work life had taught me that far too many people needed constant reminding. I also really enjoyed watching him squirm.
Requiem went first. That was fine by me since being a [Red Imp] came with next to no health points. Even Hermes had easily triple this body’s [Endurance] and quadruple its [Brawn]. It had taken me days of adjusting to wrap my brain around wings, changed stats, and impulse control problems. The latter was still causing me issues.
Flying was a lot of fun. Whenever Requiem wasn’t micromanaging me, I sped around quickly doing didoes and aerial maneuvers. The only time he ever left me alone was when I was ordered to gather herbs. My [Blink] practice was sorely lacking.
“Come on. You’re falling behind.”
A giant hole went into the ground and wound down for three loops or more. I didn’t have a map. Part of me felt kind of sickened being trapped in this tunnel.
“No Iamnot,” I protested.
“Really? Remember when we got jumped last time?”
“Yeah. Youalmost wet yourself.” I had no clue where we got jumped last time. Requiem so far had shown no awareness of a difference between me and the autopilot though.
Maybe Requiem was an even better actor than I was. That was a scary thought. Dwelling on anything along those lines would be bad for my stability.
“Anyway.” Requiem didn’t refute my claims, so maybe there was something to it. “We’re taking the right fork. That should get us up to the first boss.”
I tried not to roll my eyes.
We made our fourth spin down and found the fork Requiem had mentioned. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask me anything else about my autopilot time. Pulling an all-day shift and sleeping didn’t help keep me in the loop with everything happening in-game.
The first monster we faced shot out of the wall and took up the entire width of our tunnel. Only the [Red Imp]’s natural survival instincts kept me from getting smacked in the face. Once I righted myself, there was a very visible and rotting root in our way. Floating up revealed a small hole that I might be able to [Blink] through.
“It’s the traps. They keep screwing us.” Requiem hacked away with his sword. “Though these are new.”
“Stupid,” I muttered.
“Really? I don’t see you detecting them any better.”
“Notthat,” I said.
“Then what?” Requiem turned and glared at me. “If you’re so smart.”
“Whywould theyput a wall?” I tried to ask a leading question. There was no way I could just hand him an easy conclusion when the [Red Imp] would give me points for implying he was stupid.
“To slow us down.”
“Untilsomething shows up.” I may have stuck my head in the sand for years, but that didn’t mean games were new to me. Weeks with Shazam had rather firmly taught me a lot of basics.
Requiem looked at me, then down the tunnel. I opted for staring at the walls. It was more likely that something would crawl out of them, like giant worms or termites. Hopefully Requiem would throw fireballs at any bugs to show up.
Nope. Moles. Undead, ugly squirmy moles. Voices above, what sort of macabre horror show was I trapped in?
“Imp! Drive it back!”
“Ahh!” I drove the top of my weapon toward the enemy.
The [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] landed square on its nose. There was no point in trying to identify the mole. I only had one trick and that was stabbing things when possible.
“Eeeee!” The medium-sized undead mole grabbed its nose and cried out.
Two more crawled out of the wall around us. Bits of roots and dirt stuck to their faces. “Eeeee!”
“Too many!” I did my best to play poke-a-mole with the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift]. One went down, two more showed up, and finally six of them appeared from the walls, each throwing clumps of dirt.
“Eee!” They kept making the same noise. “Eee! Eeeee!”
“We’re through,” Requiem said.
“What aboutthese?” I squeaked while stabbing another two moles in the nose.
“We need more space before we can fight them.” Requiem was somehow staying calm under pressure. “This way. There should be room up here.”
He turned and threw
a giant ball of fire down the hallway. It passed over me while scaring all the undead moles back into their holes.
Requiem moved swiftly down the hallway. He had one sword out, trailing ash behind us. The mole creatures coughed and sputtered while slushing grossly. I tried to flap my wings, but these narrow tunnels turned my few attempts into bad hopping with mild panic.
“Another one. Help quickly.”
“Fine.” I shifted my weapon and slashed with an edge. It helped shave the second wall down before any more mole creatures caught up with us.
Requiem didn’t even spare a glance for my shapeshifting item. I was lucky it was [Bound] or he might try to sell it also.
“Go. The clearing is up ahead.” Requiem turned and threw another ball of flame down the hallway. He rushed by my hopping form and dove into the cavernous opening.
“Will they come here?” I asked.
There were no walls here for the moles to attack from or hide in. Instead, they would be limited to the ground or way up on the ceiling.
“No. The monster in here should scare them off,” he said.
“That’s good. Waitwhat?” I turned and looked up toward where Requiem was staring.
The ceiling was extremely dark, but I had the racial [Dark Vision] backing me up. Requiem must have something similar. I didn’t have time to think about it. The [Dark Vision] only reached so far. Requiem was scanning the top and squinting.
“There it is.” Requiem pointed. “It chased us off last time. This time we’ll use it in our favor.”
“Is that…?” One hand came up to cover my mouth.
“A giant eyeball. I’m calling him Squints.” The Traveler sounded excited.
I ran the [Identification] skill as the creature got closer. It looked like a monster from some old fantasy game. Instead of tons of squirming eyes being attached, it had veins and roots waving around. There were no wings on its back. No sign of eyelids. It was bloodshot and intensely gross.
Skill Used: [Identification]
Race: [Detached Vitreous]
Health Pool: Medium
Details: It’s got perfect night vision and a questionable attitude. No one is entirely sure how it eats. Depth perception is nonexistent. It doesn’t even shoot fireballs.
Continue Online The Complete Series Page 70
