‘There you are, my dear. What are you doing?’
His voice made her jump like a child caught in the act of stealing lumps from the sugar bowl. Jonathan was walking up the stairs towards her, carrying a pile of newspapers. Aurelia’s first impulse was to hide the book behind her back, but honesty wouldn’t let her deceive him. She held it out to him.
‘Sarah brought this to me, but I think it must be yours.’
Jonathan’s eyes widened and Aurelia saw a flash of panic momentarily cross his face. Then the anxiety was gone, replaced with relief. Aurelia felt similar relief flood through her. He had assumed she could not read it. Why would he ever suspect she could read the Greek alphabet or whole words and sentences? How fortunate she had kept that side of her a secret.
Jonathan smiled and held his hand out.
‘Thank you. It’s a journal of mine. I never quite broke my childhood habit of jotting down my thoughts. It must have fallen from the table beside the bed. Are you almost ready to go? The train leaves in half an hour.’
‘Nearly, I just want to gather a few more items,’ Aurelia answered.
‘Good. I must admit I am looking forward to the journey. Hours spent in a compartment with my wife will be a much more agreeable way of travelling than usual.’ He kissed her on the cheek and went into his room.
Aurelia put her hand to the spot, capturing the memory of his soft lips on her skin. She wanted to cry, but that would serve no purpose. She had enough secrets already, so keeping one more from Jonathan was hardly a burden. Yet the secret that she loved her husband was the one that weighed on her heart the greatest.
Chapter Twenty
Aurelia seemed unusually withdrawn on the journey to London. They had the compartment to themselves and Jonathan considered the length of the journey ahead of them before they arrived at the next station where they would need to change trains. He wondered if he should sit beside Aurelia instead of opposite and put his arms around her. Once he would never have even considered it. A day earlier he would not have thought twice before touching her, but now he hesitated.
‘I’ve never travelled by train before’ was all she said in answer to Jonathan’s query as to whether she was unwell. She ran her hands over the walnut frame of the window and peered through the glass at the countryside rushing by in a blur. They must have been doing all of forty miles an hour. ‘It isn’t at all what I was expecting.’
Maybe it was the jolting of the carriages that was making her feel off colour. She turned her head to look out of the window and her book in her lap remained unopened. Jonathan frowned to himself, seeing the slim volume in her hands. She had opened his journal to discover it was his book and a small germ of worry in his brain whispered to him that she had read what he had written there, and that was the cause of her unhappiness. He knew deep down this could not be the case because he had written in Greek, but all the same he could only connect her change in manner to the point at which they had left the house.
‘Are you sure you made the right decision by coming with me?’ Jonathan asked. ‘It isn’t too late for you to return to Macclesfield on tomorrow’s train.’
He wanted her at his side. Exploring the Exhibition halls would not be half as much fun without Aurelia to share it with him, but if she preferred to return home he would not object. To his relief, she shook her head.
‘No, I would like to see London and the Exhibition. I want to see the Great Shalimar, this “crystal palace” that everyone has been talking about with such excitement. I don’t really believe it can contain as much glass as the reports claim. How will it not fall down if the wind gets too strong?’
Her voice filled with enthusiasm, but too soon her eyes dulled. ‘Of course I would be happy to amuse myself if you would rather I left you to do your business without me. I’m sure I will be able to find plenty to occupy me.’
Jonathan clenched his jaw. How stupid he had been to ever tell Aurelia she was not welcome in that part of his life. How sooner they might have grown close if he had granted her request to see the mill the first day she had asked.
She turned on her seat to face him and held his gaze. ‘I do wish you and Edward had reconciled before we came away.’
Was that the cause of her mood? The last time Jonathan had spoken to Edward for more than a few minutes had been three days before the planned trip to London. Edward had looked frail and had shown little interest in the arrangements. He had begun his journey two days earlier than Jonathan and Aurelia after saying he would prefer the chance to recuperate from his journey before the grand opening.
‘Aurelia, you know how I feel about Edward and you know it hurts me to have quarrelled with him,’ Jonathan said, but Aurelia interrupted.
‘Do I really know how you feel about anything? I am not sure I do. What I do know is that Edward was your greatest friend and if you do not mend your disagreement before he dies you will regret it for ever. Living life with regrets is enough to make anyone’s life miserable.’ She sounded weary again and dropped her head. ‘If you will excuse me, I think I shall close my eyes for a few moments.’
She leaned against the velvet headrest and pulled her veil over her eyes. Jonathan rested his head back and closed his eyes. He could not escape the nagging sense that Aurelia was correct and he should at least speak to Edward again. He’d as good as forgiven him in his heart. Far from hating Edward, he was filled by a deep sorrow for the old man’s tale. Three lives had been blighted. Four, including Jonathan’s own. His mother had married a man who could never love her. His father and Edward had loved against nature and the law. Jonathan’s entire future had changed. None of them had achieved the happiness they had craved. But none of that was Edward’s fault. Aurelia’s other words haunted him more.
Living with regrets.
He had thought she was happy. She seemed happy and full of purpose, as passionate as ever in their bed, and willing to spend time with Jonathan. So why did she speak so bitterly of regrets?
* * *
The Great Exhibition of the Works of Industry of All Nations. How to describe it?
Jonathan wouldn’t be able to resort to Greek to record the experience as surely they would not have had the words to describe what he saw.
The initial impression was of a great crush. A mass of people dressed in their finest streaming towards the Exhibition. Men and women with skin and hair of every shade. A vibrant multi-coloured river of coats and capes winding to the entrance of the glass structure of the Exhibition hall that itself glinted in the sunlight like the crystals it was compared to. Children scuffed their feet, bored with the wait. Self-important-looking older and richer couples grumbled audibly about how they should have preferential treatment and be allowed to bypass the queues.
‘This is one of the beauties of our Prince’s endeavour,’ Jonathan remarked to Aurelia. ‘No one is treated better than anyone else. A viscount must queue just as a man such as I.’
‘What do you mean, a man such as you?’ Aurelia slipped her hand through his arm. ‘There is nothing that makes you a less worthy person than the highest duke in the land and this baronet’s daughter is happy to be standing in line with you.’
Her words warmed Jonathan’s heart. He spread his fingers over her hand, enclosing it in his, and she smiled at him.
‘What would you like to see first?’ she asked. ‘Personally I want to see the elephant and then the silks from the Orient. Would you like to see those, too?’
‘Very much,’ Jonathan agreed. ‘It’s strange to think something that starts half the world away in China ends with us in Cheshire, isn’t it? Perhaps one day you and I could travel there together and see the mulberry bushes in their original setting.’
Aurelia’s face lit up and her eyes widened. ‘To China? That’s so far,’ she breathed. ‘I can’t imagine it.’
Jonathan placed his hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze
. Through her silk glove he could feel the shape of her wedding band on her finger. She appeared to be happier now than when they had journeyed down to London. A good night’s sleep at the hotel seemed to have restored her spirits, even though she had claimed to be too weary to make love.
His stomach fluttered with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. He had presumptuously made plans Aurelia was not aware of, but which he hoped would please her and further cement their marriage. Rather than returning to Cheshire immediately after the Exhibition, they would be travelling to France and take the honeymoon they had never had. Together they would visit Paris and Lyon. Perhaps even reach the mountains Edward had talked of. It would be the perfect opportunity to spend time together and Jonathan dared to hope that through their shared experiences Aurelia might begin to return the feelings he bore towards her.
They inched slowly forward, but hours seemed to pass before they were inside the glass palace and standing among the living trees that had been contained within it and surrounded by more delights than Jonathan could list. Someone jostled against them and he put his arms around Aurelia to protect her from the bustle. She glanced up at him, held securely in his arms.
‘It’s so busy here. Much worse than I expected it to be,’ Jonathan muttered.
‘You hate crowds, don’t you?’ Aurelia said. Her eyes scanned the great halls that stretched away left to right from the central atrium. She stiffened and her eyes widened, then narrowed.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jonathan asked. She was still staring at a point in the distance and he wasn’t sure she had heard him. He put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her anxiously. She appeared to recollect where she was.
‘It’s nothing. I just thought I saw someone I recognised from Oxfordshire, but it couldn’t have been. Let’s go find somewhere to take tea. I’m so thirsty I believe I could lap water from the fountain.’
Jonathan agreed that after standing for so long to gain admittance the elephant and silks could wait and their first priority was to visit the Western refreshment court.
‘Is there someone who could relay a message for me?’ Jonathan asked the impeccably dressed waiter who led them to a small table for two set in one quarter of a vast tearoom.
‘I’ll find a boy, sir,’ he answered, as he drew Aurelia’s seat out for her to descend on to, spreading her skirts as she sat. She had bought a new outfit for the occasion that Jonathan had not seen before, though as he looked at it now he recognised the brocade and grinned.
‘I wondered when you would pay attention to my dress, Jonathan dear.’ Aurelia giggled. Her eyes glinted with delight. ‘I decided that as we were displaying the best of Great Britain’s industrial produce, what better way to exhibit your wares than to parade them in public?’
Jonathan gazed at her dress in admiration, though at least half of that was for the woman rather than the spreading skirt and tight-fitting jacket in burgundy brocade shot through with copper. She met his eyes and he gave a low whistle of appreciation. Aurelia’s smile deepened.
‘I started planning it the day after you invited me to come. Edward arranged for me to obtain the cloth and I had my mother’s dressmaker create it.’
‘And you kept it secret so well,’ Jonathan said. ‘How devious you are, my dear. This will teach me to pay more attention to what is going on under my nose, I suppose.’
Her smile dropped a little. ‘It was only a small secret. Surely you can forgive me that.’
‘I don’t think that secret is likely to change my world too drastically,’ Jonathan said, giving another laugh. The arrival of their order distracted them and they set to work devouring disappointingly small sandwiches. Their refreshments were interrupted by the arrival of the same runabout boy who had taken the message to Jonathan’s exhibit arriving back at their side.
‘Please, sir, I was told to give you this, sir.’ His eye strayed to the plate of bath buns.
Jonathan realised his card had been returned with a message written on the back.
Please call on receipt of this reply. We have visitors who might be to our advantage.
It was signed by Edward and Jonathan couldn’t help but notice his handwriting was shakier than usual. Aurelia was still toying with her bun less than enthusiastically. Jonathan showed her the note and she raised her eyebrows with interest.
‘Will you mind if I go now?’ he asked. ‘The Machinery in Motion gallery is practically next door. You can stay and finish eating and I’ll come back as soon as I can.’
Aurelia shook her head, unable to answer for the mouthful of the stodgy dough she had just taken. She swallowed and licked a trace of butter from her lips. Even the sight of something so simple was enough to send Jonathan’s imagination spiralling. He decided he would order a plate of cakes to be sent to their hotel room where he could enjoy licking the cream from Aurelia’s lips himself.
‘Go, of course. You don’t know what opportunity this might be. The exhibits might set all of Europe marvelling, but the food will certainly not.’ Aurelia arched her brows and pushed the remains of the cake away. ‘I think I will drink my tea, then go exploring.’
‘Don’t go too far,’ Jonathan cautioned. ‘I could imagine never finding you in this crowd and having to wait until we were the last two remaining people in the building.’
‘Would you really wait that long?’ Aurelia asked.
She gave him a smile of such sweetness his insides melted. How did she not guess what she meant to him? He could live with her disapproval that he had broken the terms of their marriage, but could he live with knowing his love was not reciprocated? Perhaps he would be brave enough to tell her when they were abroad. Paris was the city of love, after all.
‘I will find my way to the elephant and wait for you there.’ Aurelia laughed. ‘I never imagined saying such a thing, did you?’
‘Not at all,’ Jonathan answered. He stroked her hand, then walked away. He would not leave her long.
* * *
Aurelia waited until Jonathan had left the refreshment court before summoning a waitress.
‘May I have another pot of tea?’
The waitress bobbed smartly and left, returning after a brief delay with no tea, but bearing a piece of paper.
‘If you please, ma’am, there’s a gentleman at the table by the window. He has asked me to give you this.’
The waitress’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she held out the folded piece of paper. Aurelia looked past her, trying to see who might have sent it and wondering if Edward was there. She couldn’t see clearly past a party of older couples blocking the view. She accepted the note with curiosity. It looked to have been written in haste on a page torn from a small notebook and folded in half. She recognised the writing immediately and her stomach plummeted.
Arthur.
He was here, watching her. The hairs on the back of Aurelia’s neck stood on end. She had thought earlier that she had caught a glimpse of him, but had decided she must be mistaken. Now, having her suspicion confirmed made her stomach flip over. More disconcerting than the fact she had received the note at all was that it was addressed to Miss Upford. Arthur presumably still did not realise she was married even though he must have seen her and Jonathan taking tea together. But then, they were hardly intimate in public so why would he? She took a pencil from her bag and scribbled a reply.
I have no wish to speak to you, now or ever. If you have any of your former regard for me, you will respect that wish.
Aurelia looked up at the waitress who was lingering nearby and held the note out.
‘Please return this to the gentleman and tell him my reply is enclosed within. And please do not bother bringing me tea, I am leaving.’
The girl looked disappointed. Presumably she had hoped to see an illicit affair taking place. ‘Of course, madam.’
As soon as the waitress left Aurelia flung a handful
of shillings on to the table. It was more than the bill would come to, but she didn’t care. She wanted to have left by the time Arthur received her reply. She walked purposefully out of the refreshment court through a different door to the one Jonathan had taken, but made the mistake of hesitating before choosing which way to turn and heard Arthur’s voice calling.
‘Aurelia, please wait.’
He was following her as she strode past galleries of furs and shawls so quickly she barely noticed the hues and textures on display. She had suspected he might follow, but had hoped she would have been deep enough into the crowds for him not to spot her. She pulled her bonnet forward and carried on walking, choosing the nearest gallery on a whim and finding herself surrounded by medieval altars and candlesticks. She felt the unsettling experience of having walked straight into a church.
A hand took hold of her elbow and she spun around with a cry.
‘Take your hand off me at once!’
Arthur withdrew his hand.
‘I knew it was you,’ he said. His face lit with delight. He had not changed. If anything he was even more handsome now he had a few lines on his face and had grown his hair into a longer style.
‘Aurelia, I’m so pleased to see you. I thought we would never meet again. You must forgive me for ignoring your message.’
Aurelia glared at him. ‘I do not forgive you and I did not intend that we ever should meet again. I have nothing to say to you.’
‘But I have lots to say to you,’ Arthur cajoled. ‘Please walk with me. Didn’t you get my letters? You didn’t answer them.’
The Silk Merchant's Convenient Wife Page 22
