by D S Kane
Lee’s plane would land in just under one hour. They would be together again, she and he, and—for the first time in their relationship—they would not have to worry about who wanted them dead.
But starting a new life wasn’t enough. Her boss at the government had cheated her of her innocence. She felt compelled to remedy the mistakes she’d made and the guilt she felt. She wanted to feel whole at last.
The doctor who performed the abortion said she’d probably never bear children. Her uterus was now scarred. Loving Ann Silbee was her redemption. She’d traveled to New York City and found the teenager. This was just the first step.
She expected the government Lee worked faithfully to protect had damaged him. She knew she could twist the system only as long as this President occupied the office. Four more months at most. And after that she was sure they’d come for her.
She’d created no plan to protect herself. Yet. And she knew that the agency’s technology toys would find her no matter how well she hid.
Cassie decided for as long as she was able, she’d use the money and evidence of blackmail to live out her dreams, her vision of a family. Lee, Ann, and Gizmo. There were loose ends to fix. The biggest one was her desire to use the money for some good causes, and the most important of those was a consulting company to correct the evil done by the sitting President.
* * *
When she arrived at the airport, she located the terminal where they‘d be delivering Lee. It was an old military hanger, corrugated aluminum and broken single-pane windows. Cassie showed identification to a sentry, then waited alone, happy they would be reunited. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to straighten it, but a stiff breeze ruffled it again and again.
Her mind drifted back to her meeting with Mark McDougal, just two days ago. The bald spot at the top of his head reddened with rage when she’d shown him the evidence that forced him to release Lee. She knew McDougal would be a never-ending problem. Her only other choice was to kill him. Oddly, she enjoyed controlling him. Plus she didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s death—even his—ever again.
The military transport landed and taxied toward the hanger. Lee!
* * *
No one ever left Gitmo alive. Lee Ainsley knew death was near and there was nothing he could do. He was sure he was being taken to an agency-sponsored interrogation camp. They’d asked him endless questions, and he’d had no answers. As the plane landed, he wondered where he was. Kabul? Oman? Samarkand?
Someone yanked him from the aircraft’s seat and pulled off the hood covering his face. He looked around. Inside some sort of transport plane. Four guards, two of them in business suits. He was the only passenger.
“What day is this?” His voice sounded faint to his ears. The sound of his own screams over the last few days still echoed in his head. “Where are we?” He felt weak and slipped back into his seat.
One of the uniformed guards prodded him in his ribs. Lee winced in pain. “Just come with us.” The other guards were silent. He knew there were marks all over his body. They’d been so careful when they beat him, using torture methods he could barely have imagined. But they’d done so much. There had to be bruises in the places where he felt pain. He tried to walk but his legs buckled. One of the uniforms moved to grip his arm and the two other guards dragged him by the elbow to the door of the plane.
One of the sentries forced him upright and pushed him forward. Two uniformed guards walked on one side of him and the two guys in suits on the other.
They stopped as if they were waiting for something to happen. A flood of memories welled up inside him. His work in the agency as Director of Security. He and Cassie escaping from the Houmaz brothers. His arrest in Washington just after Cassie and her mercs had disarmed the nuclear device in the Washington Monument. Where was she now? Was she okay? He remembered buying an engagement ring for her. Where was it now? Did they have her, too?
* * *
The aircraft’s door opened and steps descended from the fuselage. She watched, pacing back and forth, her right hand fidgeting with her hair. Two uniformed sentries came down the steps, followed by Lee in an orange jumpsuit, cuffed hand-to-leg. Then two men wearing suits. One of the sentries prodded Lee, and he stumbled down the ramp and into the hanger. His eyes downcast, he seemed not to notice his surroundings.
When she saw how damaged he was, Cassie bit her knuckle to keep from crying out. Both his eyes were blackened. Ripped flesh swollen on the left side of his mouth. His right ear was black and blue. She imagined injuries she couldn’t see as he limped forward. His eyes stayed focused on the ground, like a caged animal that had learned helplessness.
Cassie stopped herself from running up to him, smoothing her turtleneck sweater and focusing on her own breathing. A private chant. A mantra. Once Lee and the guards reached their destination on the hangar floor, the two suits unlocked his cuffs. The armed soldiers headed back to the aircraft, and the suits passed Cassie and moved toward the airport parking lot. They seemed to see her, but ignored her.
Lee remained standing and shivering alone in the intense heat, obviously too terrified to move. Cassie walked slowly toward him. When she was close, she whispered his name.
His head jerked up. He looked around, his expression confused. Cassie could smell a horrid mix of body odor, vomit, dry blood, and stale urine coming from the orange jump suit. Some of his bruises oozed blood. She waited.
His expression changed, now incredulous. “Cassie?” His voice was just above a whisper. He raised his arms, limping toward her, and flinching in pain from the effort.
Cassie moaned, and held her arms out. He felt heavy against her and her nose wrinkled from the smell of him. She’d expected that, but still…it was so putrid. She hugged him—as if he were marked “fragile”—and looked into his eyes. “Oh, Lee. What did they do to you?”
He looked away from her. He must feel humiliated, she thought.
“Do you need a hospital?”
He shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
She nodded, expecting he would want no one to know what they’d done. But Ann would see him. Too late now. “Let’s get out of here.” Cassie promised herself she’d tend to his wounds once they were safely at his apartment. She handed him a two tabs of Oxycontin and a water bottle. “Take these for the pain.” He nodded, popped the pills and swallowed some water, almost gagging. He dropped the bottle. She left it there.
“I brought you fresh clothing.” She pointed to the small suitcase, her eyes tearing. “Let me help you put these on. Just stand there and I’ll dress you. There’s no one in this hanger now, so no one will see you. Please, Lee.” His body smelled like death. She could barely stand being this close.
Lee looked at her as if unsure of what to do. She stripped off the stench he wore. When he winced she stopped tugging. Cassie helped him struggle to keep his balance. She tossed his old clothes as far away as she could.
She saw the black-and-blue marks covering his body like the map of a bombed-out village. Even his genitals were purple from nonstop beatings. All this damage from just three days at Gitmo. She held him gently and helped him dress. His movements were stiff and slow. When they finished, she gently hugged him and held her breath to kiss him, afraid that the strong odors coming off his body—even in the fresh clothing—would still make her gag. “Lee, I worried about you so much. Welcome home.”
His voice sounded craggy, hoarse. “No one ever leaves there. How’d you get me out?”
She wanted to be brief, but the words came gushing out, beyond her control. “I used the evidence against McDougal, Greenfield, and the President. I own them. McDougal’s my dog forever.” She forced a smile. “So, you can have your old job back at the agency, but with a promotion to Operations Executive Director and a substantial raise in salary, all as an apology for what they did to you. It’s what you told me you wanted, before… before—”
She thought about him working in such a toxic environment. “Bu
t I think it would be better for you to leave the sleaze of Washington and work with me at Swiftshadow Consulting Group. That’s what I’m going to call the new company. Lee, I got the feds to give Swiftshadow preferred vendor status for contracts.”
He nodded, surprise on his face. Then tried to smile. She could see that at least he hadn’t lost any teeth.
A half-mile walk to the airport passenger terminals. They had to stop several times for him to rest. Lee walked slowly, in obvious pain. It took over an hour to cover the distance. Neither spoke but they did hold hands. She hailed a cab and they headed back to the city.
On the way home Cassie shifted so she could see his face. “Yesterday I went to New York. Remember the teenager I met there?” Lee nodded. She continued. “I found her! I brought her back to Washington. You’ll meet her when we get back to your apartment. Lee, I want to adopt Ann Silbee. She’s smart and she can still grow up normally. Lee, I have to do this. Oh, and I found a stray kitten.” She stopped, realizing she’d been talking too loud. “Uh, you’ll be okay with this, won’t you?”
He just stared back.
She could see he was puzzled and realized she’d made a mistake. Still, she couldn’t stop herself. “We’ll need a bigger place, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ve reconciled my bank accounts. After the dust settled, I paid the mercs. Lee, I have just over two billion dollars! All stolen from the United States Tax and Treasury System. It’s the money they used to fund terrorism under the President.”
“Stop, Cassie. Way too much information. It’s all flying over my head. Can’t concentrate.” He turned away. In seconds she could hear him snoring, head back against the taxi’s upholstery.
* * *
Lee awoke as the moving taxi slammed into a pothole. He kept his eyes shut so he could think without her interrupting him. All her decisions surprised him. All he wanted was sleep, food, and a chance to recover. He’d never felt so weak, so helpless before. His mind rolled back over the pains shooting through his body. He could still hear the prison alarms screeching constantly so he couldn’t nod off. Saw bright flashes of light. Felt a rubber mallet pounding on his hand, his ear, and his face. Someone wearing a steel-tipped boot had kicked him in the groin. This last one had him bolting upright in the cab.
She’d been busy while they were working him over. He wanted to keep his studio apartment. He slowly turned toward her, grimacing as pain shot through him. “My studio is rent-controlled.” He took a deep breath. “I want to continue working at the agency. Using your money for rent or purchase of property that we live in, can’t do that. Conflict of interest since you have preferred vendor status.” Cassie stared.
He seemed to strain his focus, to use his last bit of conscious energy. “This is the first time I’ve ever heard you mention adopting this Ann Silbee. Who the hell is she? How’d you meet her?”
His eyebrows shot up. “My God, we’d become instant parents. I don’t know how I feel about that. They don’t allow pets in my building.” He shook his head. “Cassie, isn’t the girl like the stray kitten you said you found? I’m so confused. I haven’t slept since they took me. They tortured me. Give me time to think. Please, give me time.”
The taxi pulled up to the curb in front of Lee’s Georgetown studio. “Could we take this slow? Let’s try living together. Let’s see if I can make friends with this kitten. What if this girl doesn’t like me? What will you do then? Stay with me? Choose her?” He staggered as they walked up the steps toward his apartment’s door. When he stumbled, she caught him.
* * *
As they trudged up the three flights of stairs, she was careful to help him. Cassie thought about Lee’s objections. “I want to be with you. I also want Ann. And Gizmo. I want everything I’d hoped for, all the hopes and dreams normal people achieve, all that was taken from me by our government and the terrorists. I want a future. I want to follow my heart. I’ve been a tool of others for too long, Lee. Please. Try it my way.”
“But, what if it doesn’t work?” He took his apartment keys from the small satchel of his belongings returned by his captors when they released him. He found the tiny box containing the engagement ring still there. But now wasn’t the right time.
Lee opened the door and found himself face-to-face with a small black cat looking more like a big-eared rat with a furry tail. “Gizmo?” The kitten looked up at his face, as if being asked some question she couldn’t understand. The cat stood its ground and meowed a reply.
Cassie picked the cat up and held it out to him. “Uh, yeah. Gizmo. She’s still jumpy. When you sit, she’ll find your lap.” She looked towards the living room area and saw Ann on the couch staring back at them. “Ann, this is Lee.”
Ann walked toward them. As she closed the distance, she said, “You must be Lee.” She sniffed the air and stepped back. “You smell gross.”
Lee sniffed under his arms. “Sorry. They didn’t let me shower. Waterboarding destroyed my sense of smell. Hope it’s temporary.”
Cassie wrinkled her nose. “Before anything else, I’m filling the bathtub with hot water. I want you to steam a bit before we herd you into the shower.” She squeezed him, so very gently.
She walked toward the bathroom, looking over her shoulder. She saw Lee hold out his hand, palm up, to the kitten. Ann held back but seemed interested. Maybe this would work out after all.
* * *
Lee sat in the tub, his mind spinning out of control. He could barely stand the pain from the steaming swirling water, tinted pink and brown from his blood mixed with the detritus washing off his skin. As the blood, pus, urine, and grime dissolved, he could see the damage. Red welts, black-and-blue broken skin. Some of the memories of how they’d been inflicted. The damage to his mind was worse, injuries that left no marks. On his body, that is. He remembered the water forcing through the wet towel, starting to fill his lungs as they held his head. How could anyone believe waterboarding wasn’t torture? He struggled, his arms flailing in the bathtub in response
All for nothing, he thought. I knew nothing, so I couldn’t tell them anything. And they just kept beating me, whipping me like a dog.
Gizmo climbed the tub, walking delicately along the edge and mewed at him. Lee shook the water from his hand and reached to pet her. The kitten felt the water drop on her tiny body and fled. Cassie entered and smiled at him. Lee tried to smile back, but the effort caused him pain in his left cheek. He touched the spot and his hand came away with fresh blood. Lee dropped his hand back into the steaming hot bathwater. “I think I’m medium rare.”
She examined him and nodded. As he rose out from the bathwater, she looked at the tub. Seeing the murky water, tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She gently touched his bloody cheek.
“Cassie, I’m not very steady. ’Fraid I might slip.”
She nodded again, and stripped off her own clothes before getting into the cesspool of a tub with him. She closed the glass shower doors, bent over to pull the plug to let water drain, and turned on the shower. Cassie held him up, moved him under the showerhead and began to wash him, starting with his hair. Cassie cried silently, her tears mixing with the shower spray. “Oh Lee, they mangled you.” When she got down to his genitals, she froze. “It looks like they tore you apart.” She handed him the soap. “I’m afraid to wash your penis. It’s so black and blue. And your balls look like someone battered them playing tennis.”
Lee took the soap. “Feels like that’s what they did.” He winced as he lathered himself.” Yeah, it’s real bad. Sorry for both of us. No sex for a while.”
When she helped him out of the shower, she towel-dried his broken body, applying cotton swabs dampened with alcohol to his open wounds. And then liquid bandage until the bleeding stopped. Once or twice he cried out as the alcohol touched his skin. “Lee, who did all this? Do you know any of their names?”
“Nope. FBI nabbed me, put me on a CIA aircraft. Homeland Security drove me to the prison, Army guarded me. I was hooded until I arrived, an
d also when they brought me home. In captivity, they all wore headmasks. As for the beatings and the interrogations, their teams took turns.”
She swore someday she’d even the score. Cassie handed him a bathrobe. For his broken body.
Ann was sitting on the couch. The girl walked over and sniffed the air again. She stared at him.
He said, “Hi, Ann,” and held out his hand.
She took it, but Cassie could tell Ann was uncertain. When she faced Lee, Cassie noted that he too seemed to have his suspicions. She watched the standoff as each gave ground ever-so-gradually.
Cassie watched Lee smile, to his credit, in her eyes. He limped over to the bed and sat. Lee flinched as Gizmo launched himself on to his lap.
Cassie tucked him into the bed. “Ann, sorry but you’ll have to sleep on the couch.”
Ann shook her head. “Sure. What the hell.” A second passed. “Sure, Cassie.” Gentler voice this time.
Long after Ann and Lee drifted to sleep, Cassie got up and sat, hunched over at the kitchen table. Tears fell. She felt guilt. It was her fault that he’d been tortured. She thought it would take Lee several days before he could walk or bathe himself. Cassie wondered how long it would be until he recovered from what they’d done to his mind.
* * *
Ann dreamed of Joshua and her mother. She watched mom suck a lungful of crack from the pipe she held loosely in her hand. Sarah took another, deeper dose and coughed, smiled, and suddenly fell sideways to the floor, the grin still decorating her face.
But, as the teenager watched, horrified, her mother’s color turned red, then gray. Her eyes glazed and her chest no longer moved with breath. Ann screamed but no sound came from her lips.
Her eyes popped open. Shit, my dead mom was here with me just a second ago. And my dead brother, too.
