by Loretta Lost
I learned from the best, I tell her. Since apparently, my best friend sleeps with my husband and then discusses my mental health in detail with him, and makes plans on how to manipulate me.
Into being healthier! she exclaims. I shouldn’t have told you about that.
Are your ears plugged?
Yes.
“Joy? Are you ready to learn about our top secret plan to escape and get away from Benjamin?”
“Yeah!” she answers with excitement. “Then we get to eat ice cream and see a movie, right?”
“Absolutely. But you have to listen very closely and follow my plan carefully. You need to say exactly what I tell you to say.”
“Otay! I’m ready.”
I smile at her enthusiasm. “Okay. Basically, we need the help of this girl who lives inside me. Her name is Snow, and she’s very, very strong. Don’t tell anyone, but I think she’s a superhero.
“Really?” Joy gasps. “Can I meet her?”
“You will meet her, very soon.” I pause, thinking. “I mean, theoretically you could have already met her, and you wouldn’t know. She looks just like me, but she sounds a little different. Scarier.”
“I think I met the scary lady,” Joy says with a nod.
“She tried to hurt Benjamin a few times, so that we could get away. Unfortunately, she failed, because he kept drugging me and tying me up.”
“How do we help her win?” Joy asks.
“I’m glad you asked. It isn’t going to be easy, but with all of us working together, carefully planning an attack instead of just lashing out randomly when things get too hard to take—I think we stand a good chance.”
Benjamin has tied me up to the bed today, while he amuses himself with my body. I’m not quite sure it’s the best time to enact our plan, as I am not feeling very strong, but I have confidence in Joy. While she usually hides in a corner, or in the closet while Benjamin rapes me, today she comes out to stand near the bed, and ask him questions.
“What are you doing to Miss Serenity?” Joy asks him softly. “It looks like you’re hurting her.”
Benjamin seems surprised to be interrupted, and he clears his throat and pauses. “No way, JoyJoy. I would never hurt her. She’s a very special girl, just like you.”
“Then why do you tie her up like that?” Joy asks. “She seems to be getting very thin, and she’s very sad all the time. Maybe you should let her be free, so she can walk around a little more, and play with me. Maybe then she’ll be happier.”
Benjamin hesitates. He looks at me. “Would you like that, Serenity? Would you like to walk around more?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“You know you can have anything you want,” he tells me. “You just have to say the magic words, and be a good girl. Show me it’s true.”
“What about me?” Joy asks. “Can I be a good girl instead of her, so she can get the freedom to walk around? Can I say the magic words? I’ve seen how she does it, to make you happy.
Benjamin stops raping me and pulls out, dripping and aroused at this new prospect. “Maybe, little JoyJoy, maybe. I thought it would be a while yet, before you’re ready to show some love to Daddy, and I promised Serena I wouldn’t touch you.”
“Please don’t,” I tell him with a frown. “Do whatever you want to me, but leave her out of this. We had a deal.”
“But deals can be amended slightly, right ladies?” Benjamin says. He reaches for the jacket that contains the syringe he has been using to make me useless, but Joy intercepts him.
“I do think we can make a new deal,” Joy says. “For today only, we’ll switch the plan around. I’ll be the one to make Daddy happy, if he promises to let Serenity get some rest without chains on.”
“But you know that she’s a bad girl,” Benjamin argues. “I have to be very careful.”
Joy reaches out with her little hand to nearly touch Benjamin’s penis, and this makes him grow very quiet in anticipation.
“I can be very good to you,” Joy says. “If you will be very good to Serenity. That’s the new deal I’m willing to offer.”
Benjamin licks his lips. “How good will you be?”
“Well,” Joy says, “I watched what you do to her, but I’m still learning. I don’t totally understand. Does it feel good? Do you want to do those things to me, too?”
Benjamin is basically salivating as he crawls toward Joy, and I see a little shiver of revulsion in her shoulders. “Say the magic words,” he tells Joy.
She smiles, and moves forward to give Benjamin a hug. His midsection is naked, and his engorged penis brushes against Joy’s side. “I love you, Daddy,” she says in the sweetest way possible.
I am starting to regret my plan. I can’t bear to watch this, even if it’s all a trick. I can’t bear to see her anywhere near him. “Joy,” I call out, intending to stop her from going any further.
“But I would love my daddy a lot more,” Joy says, letting her little hand slip to rest on Benjamin’s penis, “if he would set Miss Serenity free.”
“I’m not sure,” Benjamin says huskily, his throat heavy with desire for the little girl.
“Please,” she begs. “And if you untie her, maybe you could even tie me up instead? I think that would be fun.”
This prospect seems to excite Benjamin the most, and he scrambles for the keys to my shackles in his jacket.
“Serenity,” he says to me gently. “Do you promise to be a good girl while Joy and I have a little fun? It’s what she wants, and you can get a little rest.”
“If you hurt her,” I say with warning.
“I would never hurt her,” he tells me. “I just want to make love to her, and teach her how good it feels to have a man inside her. What do you think? Will you promise to be good and behave yourself while JoyJoy and I have some fun together for a few minutes? I will remove your chains, and let you move around freely all you want from now on, if you’ll just let me touch her a little bit.”
“Okay,” I tell him. “But just a little bit. She is very young, and it could be easy to hurt her.”
“Thank you, princess,” he says happily, as he fumbles to unchain me. “I know she’s small. I promise I won’t slide it all the way in. Maybe just halfway.”
I want to vomit at the fact that I am giving him permission to do this to her. While he is unlocking my wrists. Joy slips her hand in his coat and retrieves the needle with the sedative and carefully slides it under the edge of the comforter.
When Benjamin finishes untying me, he hesitates. “Just let me get back inside you again, Serenity. To get nice and wet, so it’s easier on her.”
I am so disgusted at this that I have to turn away, so I don’t let him see my face, as I nod.
He climbs back on top of me and shoves himself inside me, rocking his hips back and forth a few times while grunting.
I still can’t believe my body lubricates for him at all, although I suppose I should be thankful it does. At first, I was ashamed of this, and wondered whether it means that deep down, I enjoyed this. But I think it’s just self-defense, to keep it from hurting me even more, and a natural physical reaction to contact.
My body grows wet when he begins to have sex with me—if I have had enough water to drink—the same way that a person might get goosebumps on a cold night without a sweater, in a graveyard. It doesn’t mean you love cold nights in graveyards, it just means your body has a certain physical reaction. He slams himself into me a few times, eagerly. Wrapping his hand around my neck while he does.
“Stop,” Joy tells him, touching his arm. “I thought you were going to show me how.”
He doesn’t need much more invitation than that. Pulling out of me, he moves toward the young girl, fumbling with her dress to remove it. I stare in horror when he bends down to place a kiss against her lips, and Snow lurches inside me.
What are you doing, Serena? I’m trying to trust you here, but if this goes too far, I’m going to be pissed.
Don’t worry, I say inw
ardly. I just have to get a hold of that syringe, and stick it into him.
You’ll never be able to do that. You’re weak from not eating, and it’s on the other side of him. He’ll get suspicious.
Not once he’s focused on Joy.
Honey, you can’t let him ever get that focused on Joy. I’m shocked at you, involving her like this. Giving him ideas. You know this man is a monster, and with a little provocation, he can do a lot of damage to her.
A little damage is better than her being locked in here forever, watching me get damaged. She’s a tough girl, and she’ll get past this. She might not even remember it.
Serena! Just look at yourself, and listen to what you’re saying. Have you ever gotten past it?
No.
Exactly. So don’t subject her to this.
This is why I told you to plug your ears. I knew you would never agree to this part of the plan.
The part of the plan where you sacrifice a little girl’s sanity and mental health? How is it possible you would even consider this? I’m very disappointed in you, Serena. We can find another way.
Well, it’s too late now, I tell her, once I see what Benjamin is doing to Joy. He couldn’t get her dress off, due to the zipper being stuck, so he is making her bend over and pulling off her panties.
Once he enters her, he will close his eyes, and I can seize the needle, I tell Snow.
No! What the fuck is wrong with you? You will not let him enter her! I can’t believe you said that so casually. This is a child we’re talking about. An innocent child.
Tears spring to my eyes as I watch Benjamin explaining to Joy what he’s about to do. He grabs his cock in his hand, and over her tiny body to moisten the entrance. I can feel myself twitching with the violent impulse to stop him. But I restrict that impulse.
I just stand aside and watch. I watch until I can take no more, and I wonder if I’ve made a terrible mistake. I watch until I can feel Snow breathing inside me.
Until she will take no more. Each of her breaths rises and falls like the crashing of a tidal wave.
I feel myself being ripped away from my own body.
I feel myself fading away
As I lose consciousness, I smile to myself in victory. I pass the baton.
I black out.
Chapter Twenty-One
SNOW
Little Joy is whimpering in fear. Benjamin has bent her over, and is whispering words of affection as he probes her body, eager to see what it feels like to fuck a four-year-old girl.
But he’s never going to find out, because the sight pushes me past my own breaking point. I will take no more of this. What he has done to me, what he intends to do to her. It all comes to an end, right now. So, I begin moving, and then I black out. Serena thinks that she is the only one who experiences gaps in consciousness, but that’s not true. For one second, I am walking toward Benjamin, my fist clenched and aimed at his jaw, and then the world goes black.
All the vehemence that was propelling me forward, with such unearthly force, is now trapped in my mind.
I am disconnected from any physical form that I could use to give shape to my anger.
I am afraid. I am weightless, floating in empty space. Waiting.
What if I can never express this rage? It is so strong that it suffocates me. I swear, no matter what happens to my body—for it is my body too—my anger is enough to keep me alive and fighting until I can protect Joy and ensure that Benjamin is dead. I’ve had enough, and I can barely sustain a millisecond more of this torture.
The torture is nothing he has done to me.
The torture is being trapped inside.
The torture is knowing I could have ended him long ago, if I were able to spend more time in control of my own body.
When I wake up a few seconds later, I am shocked to find myself on my knees, with his cock stuffed down my throat. He seems to be enjoying it, like I was actually pleasuring him. What the fuck is happening? That can’t have been Serena, was it? Joy is sitting on the bed behind Benjamin, with her head in her hands, and she is crying. Her dress is ripped. I feel the fury building. It starts in my abdomen, and swells until it reaches my shoulders. It fills my whole body.
I am in control.
“Why are you stopping?” Benjamin asks me. “That was just starting to feel really good.”
I would love to say something biting and sarcastic in response, but my mouth is full.
So, I bite down. It is a bit difficult at first, with all the screaming and thrashing, and pulling of my hair, but I grab his hips and bite down, and I won’t let go, he begins hitting me then, and reaches for the lamp on the bedside table, and smashes it down on my head. I would laugh, but like I said, my mouth is full. I bite down harder. He tries to pry me off him, but I dig my nails into his hips deeply, until they puncture his skin. I try to push my fingers into the puncture wounds on his ass, gripping his hipbones like bowling balls I am about to crush. And all the while, I bite and chew, bite and chew.
It’s harder than you think. Pun intended. I mean, biting off someone’s penis seems like a fun or easy task, like biting the tip off a carrot while saying, What’s up, Doc? But in reality, the texture is nothing like a carrot, and you can’t expect that easy crunch. No, the texture is very chewy, flexible, and spongey, and my jaw muscles have to work extremely hard to clamp down, while Benjamin also beats the crap out of me.
This is why you don’t hear many stories about penises being bitten off. It’s really hard work.
It’s easy to lie there and get raped. It’s easy to cry about it. But it’s not so easy to chew off a rapist’s dick. And in my experience, most women like to avoid hard work.
It might be easier to chew off just the tip, under the frenulum. But do I strike you as the kind of girl who would only bite off the tip? Come on. That’s so pathetic. Like frostbite or gangrene that only takes your toes, and not your whole leg.
I am nothing, if not thorough. So, I continue to bite and chew and gnaw, for dear life, while choking on his dick and wishing I could laugh or speak.
The main issue with the task of chewing off a man’s penis is that you can’t really talk much during the process, so it’s mostly uncomfortable silence.
I think this might be the longest time I have gone without speaking in my entire existence. But men do always say that blowjobs are supposed to shut women up. They have no idea.
Bitejobs are way better for that, and require much more concentration.
By now, he is screaming bloody murder, and yanking out handfuls of my hair as blood pours down my chin and his legs.
Joy has stopped crying, and she is looking over at me with curiosity and interest. I give her a little wink as I attempt a new strategy—the bite and pull. I move my head from side to side, trying to yank it off with the help of my canines and molars. Most of the penis is chewed off, but there are a few stringy, spongey connections of tissue that refuse to break loose.
I am actually getting tired from the effort it takes to do this. My jaw is exhausted, and I wonder how many calories I’m burning. This is definitely not one of the conventional exercises I’ve seen on late-night infomercials, but I could probably make a fortune patenting a device that makes this process easier. The Bite-Aid. The Penis Slicer. The Prick-Off Stick. EDD, the Erectile Dislocation Device.
I don’t know, okay? I need to figure out what the device looks like, before doing focus groups to determine a good name. But I think it will be a big hit in many third-world countries, along with America. These are the thoughts that take my mind off Benjamin trying to choke me to death to make me release his penis.
Or maybe he’s just trying to choke me to prevent me from swallowing. How funny. He usually loves it when I swallow. At this same time, my face must be turning funny colors, and I must be making funny gagging noises, for Joy comes to the rescue, plunging the needle containing the sedative into Benjamin’s side.
Of course, it doesn’t work instantly, and the dose is meant
for someone with a much lower body mass, so he roars and smacks Joy in the face. Her tiny body goes flying, but I can see that she is unhurt when she picks herself up and looks at me with a tearful gaze.
“You stupid cunt!” Benjamin shouts at me. “Let go! You motherfucking whore!”
And I do let go. Because his hands loosen around my neck due to the sedative, at the same time that the last of the spongey tissue of his penis is gnawed off, and I am pulling so hard that I go tumbling backward. Blood is pouring out of the penis, and into my mouth. Blood is also cascading down his legs in elegant waterfalls as he looks down and screams.
I smile. My work here is done.
“Give that to me,” Benjamin says softly. “Serena, I will forgive you. I won’t be mad. I can never stay mad at you. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and that I was about to hurt Joy—sometimes I just get carried away, and don’t realize what I’m doing. I can have it reattached. Just give it over here, and I can have it reattached.”
I consider this for a second, as a cruel smile takes over my features.
I chew.
It’s difficult to chew, as it is with most raw meat. I am positively certain it would have a better texture if cooked. But when I see Benjamin diving toward me in horror, reaching for my face to pry open my jaws, I force myself to swallow the whole, uncooked length of it.
For a second, I think the large chunk of meat isn’t going to go down. I nearly choke on it. Benjamin is trying to pry open my jaws with his fingers, and I am gagging on my impromptu dinner. Benjamin screams and curses at me, while the muscles of my esophagus get an additional workout, and burn additional calories. All-in-all, if I don’t choke to death in the next couple seconds, this will have been a highly amusing turn of events. I begin laughing. It’s not helping the situation, but I can’t seem to stop choking and laughing.
“Are you okay?” Joy asks nervously, grabbing a glass of water and offering it to me. “Will this help?”
I take the glass of water and nod, pouring half the glass into my mouth and swallowing eagerly. Thankfully, this does help the object progress, and maybe lubricates its passage through my throat, until it lands comfortably in my stomach. I sigh, panting in relief. I wipe some sweat off my brow.
