She looked away, suspecting that he wasn't dreaming so much as remembering his life before. Bianca had explained very little to her about the illegal fighting rings, but she could surmise the rest.
“You think it's real, don't you?” He dropped his head. “You think I killed him.”
“I don't know. What makes you think you would have killed him?”
“I just know. And seeing as how I am still here, I'm guessing I came out on top.” He paused and looked at the cloth wrapped around the front of her head. “You look different. You aren't wearing the wrappings of the Tainted anymore.”
She lifted her brows in surprise. “You remember more than you think if you knew what that meant.”
“It's incredibly frustrating. I remember what this place is and what the Duillaine Banair are. I know what a paion is. I seem to know who everyone around me is but yet I have no idea who I am.”
“It's a start,” she pointed out optimistically. “If you remember all of that, there's a good chance you'll remember who you are. You just need time.”
“After seeing what I just saw in my dream, I'm not sure I want to remember.” He leaned back against his pillows and scrutinized her. “You're changing the subject. Why aren't you wearing the wrappings anymore?”
She bit her lower lip to hold back her pride and then launched into the story of what she had done, using the third person to keep her true identity hidden. “Do you think she made a mistake?” she asked at the hesitant look on his face.
“I think . . . I think it is a big change and that doesn't necessarily mean it is a bad one,” he said slowly. “But . . . I also think you need to be careful still. You're speaking to me very casually—and that's fine,” he added quickly at the hurt on her face. “I like it. I mean, I enjoy talking to you. But others might not feel the same and I would hate to see you get hurt because people are upset about this change. There will be those who are looking for someone to take their anger out on.”
The corner of her mouth twitched, touched that he wanted to look out for her. “I'm careful, I promise. I only talk to you like this because, for all we know, you're one of the Tainted too.”
He snickered and nodded his head. “You’ve got me there. I guess we really have no way of knowing that.”
“Besides,” she said after a moment's pause, “I'm not ashamed of who I am. I know I'm supposed to be because I'm Tainted or whatever, but I'm not. I was made like this. I've never been able to touch the elements but I believe what she said about the elements touching us. And the truth is that even if they didn't, I still wouldn't care. I like who I am and for the first time in my life I can honestly say that.”
He blinked at her with wonder. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met, do you know that?”
She grinned widely at this. “You don't remember anyone you've ever met, so that really isn't saying much.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Alec didn’t like this. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jonathon or Anne. He didn’t, but that was no different than anyone else he knew. Besides Ariana. No, he didn’t like sitting still. Their last encounter with Kellen’s men had set him on edge, and idly sitting by while more soldiers grew closer by the second wasn’t helping his anxiety. But he couldn’t think of an escape that wouldn’t raise suspicions since Anne and Jonathon had offered to accompany them through the mountain.
“Will your men be back soon?” Alec asked Jonathon.
“They're off trying to see what they can find in the old mines,” Jonathon answered with a shrug. “If they don't find much, they'll be back soon. If they do, it might be a little while. Those pits have been abandoned for a while, so I'm not that hopeful. Don't settle in too much.”
“What were you doing on this side of the land?” Anne asked. “If you don't mind my asking.”
“Negotiating a potential job for me,” Alec answered after exchanging a brief and panicked look with Ariana. “For after we are joined.”
“Oh?” Jonathon said, expecting to hear more.
“Yes. At the home of Lady Kellen,” he responded reluctantly, unable to think of anything else. He knew very little of this world or even the name of the city he had been held captive in for so long. He only hoped that Kellen's name would be familiar to the people here since she appeared to wield such power.
Anne and Jonathon exchanged wary glances. “And how did that go?” she asked politely.
Ariana read the disapproval in their expressions. “Not well,” she chimed in. “I'm afraid Lady Kellen's lifestyle just isn't a good fit for us. If that's not too bold to say,” she quickly added.
Anne's round cheeks brightened at this. “No, I think you might be understating things quite a bit.”
“Anne,” her husband admonished.
“Oh, don't you Anne me! Everyone knows what a monster she is. I'm only speaking the truth,” she noted, though it was directed more to Alec and Ariana than to her husband. “Don't get me wrong now. I'm not saying that the Cahirans are wrong in what they are trying to do. Things do need to change. I just don't think that the ways Kellen goes about it helps their cause much.”
“I'm afraid I can't say much on that,” Alec said through tight lips, hoping to steer the conversation in another direction.
“Rumor has it that she killed one of the Duillaine,” Anne whispered ominously.
“And how would she manage that?” Jonathon scoffed. “They have Cynewards, Anne. I'd like to see Kellen go up against one of them.”
“What's a Cyneward?”
The question was so innocent from Ariana. Alec kept his mouth in a tight line and hoped that Jonathon and Anne wouldn't know enough about the Cynewards to implicate him.
“They're the warriors that protect the Duillaine, of course,” Jonathon explained as though she should know. “You'd know if you came across one though, I tell you that. Vicious men, they are. That's why they're chosen to guard the Duillaine as their protectors for life.”
“What do you mean?” Ariana asked, eager to hear more.
“That's not important,” Alec said. “We should probably start hunting for dinner soon.”
Ariana shushed him and turned back to Jonathon. “My parents didn't teach me much about the Duillaine. Do the Cynewards have names?”
“I suppose they do,” Jonathon mused. “They're chosen as children, of course. And then they're taken directly into training, where they're tortured into submission and all of the love in their hearts is ripped from them. By the time they are blood-bonded to their wards, they only have one goal in mind: Keep them safe. And that they will. The Cynewards are Athucreans, you see. Their race is already much faster and much stronger than the others, but they can't wield magic at all. They don't need it when they can be standing across the room from you and then snapping your neck in the blink of an eye.”
“They're really fast,” Ariana repeated, everything obviously clicking in her head, “and really strong.” She shifted her accusatory eyes to Alec. “What happens if they get hurt?”
“The element of Earth has blessed them,” Alec answered in a shaky and low voice, his face full of regret as his secret was revealed, “so they heal unnaturally fast.”
“And they're also impossible to kill,” Anne added.
Ariana swallowed hard and rose to her feet. “I think I'm going to go for a walk.” She held a hand out to stop Alec. “I need some time to myself.”
Jonathon watched her walk away and turned to Alec with suspicion. “She seems awfully upset. Anything you want to tell us?”
Alec set his jaw and stood up. “Nothing at all,” he said and marched after Ariana. He called after her once they broke through the trees. “Please, let me explain.”
She whipped around and stomped back over to him. “Explain what, exactly? That you've been lying to me this whole time? You're a Cyneward, Alec. How could you not tell me?”
“Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you are looking at me now,” he admitted. “Like I'm nothing to you.
”
“Why should you be?” she shot back. “I'm clearly nothing more than an obligation and a blood bond to you. This whole time, you've let me think that we had some kind of connection, that you actually care about me as a person and not me as Duillaine. But it's all been a lie.”
“I do care about you,” he whispered harshly. “Can't you see that? That's the problem, Ariana! I do care about you, but I'm not supposed to—I didn't even think it was possible to feel these things, but I do. I'm supposed to be cold and distant and unable to feel, yet anytime I am near you, all I want to do is touch you.” He reached out and put a hand on her cheek. “It's torture. I know it is only because you are Duillaine that I burn this badly for you, but I burn nonetheless. All I want is to be close to you, but it is the last thing I'm allowed.”
“We're close now,” she said and glanced up at him from under her long lashes. “Am I drawn to you because you're a Cyneward? Is that why I want to be close to you?”
“I don't know,” he admitted, though he hoped in his heart that it wasn't.
He lifted his other hand to her face, guiding her closer until he could feel the heat from her skin. He knew this was wrong, but it felt so right and having her this close, touching her this way, he couldn't stop himself. He pulled her face to his, lifting her to her toes, and his mouth crashed down onto hers. She snaked her arm around his neck, locking him in place as she took over the kiss, turning it more passionate and deep than before. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. He couldn't get close enough to her, no matter how hard he pulled her against him, pressing her body into his.
“We shouldn't be doing this,” he said breathily. “I've told you, Ariana. I can't love—”
“Won't be able to love, from what Jonathon just said,” Ariana corrected him. “He said they rip the love from you when you go for training as a child, which you skipped. Which means there's still time to save you.”
He caressed her cheek. “You're always trying to save me.”
She mirrored his motion and grinned. “Likewise.”
Alec was about to respond when he felt something drawing close to them. His head snapped up to the sky, where he spotted an extremely large black bird heading straight for them. It was roughly five feet long and its wings spanned about seven. He threw Ariana to the ground and swiftly pulled out a knife and threw it at the bird, which hit it square in the chest. It fell to the ground next to Ariana with a pained shriek. Alec grabbed Ariana by the arm and yanked her from out of its reach, shoving her behind him.
He was so focused on the bird he had just taken down that he failed to see its companion. Ariana screamed as when its talons wrapped around her waist and lifted her into the air. Alec raced to the other bird to free his knife, but when he looked up, Ariana had a fireball in her hand and touched it to her captor's leg. It screeched and released her, and Alec caught her in his arms.
“Did you see that?” Ariana asked excitedly as Alec lowered her to her feet. “I used magic! I defended myself!”
He pulled her close and kissed her tenderly, wrapping her in his arms and then pulling her head against his shoulder. “Let's hope you never have to do that again. We should probably get back to camp and let them know we're okay. I'm sure they heard you scream.”
“What were those things?”
“War birds,” he answered heavily as they walked back. “They belong to Kellen. I should have known there would be another. They always hunt in pairs.”
“Hunt? It was going to eat me?”
“No, I'm sure their orders were to retrieve you. They are vicious creatures. If they had been ordered to kill you, you would be dead.”
“How can they be ordered to do anything? They're birds.”
“Kellen told them, of course.”
“They can talk?” she asked incredulously. “Talking birds are perfectly sane, but dragons are crazy. Right.”
“Yes and no,” he answered. He pushed a branch out of the way and allowed her to pass him. “They speak, but not like you or I do. Mostly disjointed thoughts that—” his words cut off in his throat at the scene before them.
The entire camp was covered in blood. There were body parts strewn everywhere; it was hard to believe it was only two people. Two arms stuck out of a nearby bush. A leg lay across the wooden log Anne and Jonathon so recently perched upon, the tendons and ligaments stretching across it like thick, wet strings. Various limbs decorated the trees like some sort of macabre Christmas scene. Right in front of where Ariana stood was the head of Anne, staring lifelessly up at her. Ariana was fixated on the gory display, unable to turn away as she let out a strangled cry. Alec moved swiftly, pulling her head into his chest so that she couldn't see the horror around them.
“Don't look,” he murmured into her hair. He pulled away, placing two hands on her shoulder and giving her a firm shake to get her attention. “I'm going to go get our pack. I want you to stand right here and stare at the tree directly behind me.”
“She killed them . . . because of me.”
He shook his head vehemently. “No, she killed them because she is a monster. Now stay here. Can you do that for me? We need to get moving.”
Ariana nodded and closed her eyes.
Alec grabbed their pack, then returned swiftly to her, hoisted her over his shoulder, and they both blurred as he ran them away as fast as his race could run.
***
Alec did his best to get them as far through the mountain path as possible. He avoided the most obvious road, which led southwest in the direction they needed to go, and opted to take them north instead. He didn't want to risk Kellen catching up to them again in some way. They stopped for a rest and he ran a worried hand over his face, still trying to figure out how Kellen continually tracked them.
Ariana was unresponsive to the questions he asked aloud about this. In fact, she was completely despondent. She curled up in a ball and leaned against the wall of the mountain. Her pale cheeks were bright pink and stained with tears. Her usually bright eyes were red rimmed and full of despair. It broke his heart to see her like this, in a sort of pain he couldn't protect her from.
He walked over and knelt in front of her. Her attention didn't shift from her point of focus just beyond her feet. His finger underneath her chin tilted her head up to his. “Ariana?”
She shook her head and struggled to answer. “She killed them, Alec. Because they helped us. If I had listened to you and we had tried to go around them, they would still be alive.”
“You can't blame yourself, Ariana. You aren't like Kellen, so how could you possibly try to figure out what she may or may not do? We had no way to know this would happen.”
“How did she find us?”
“Sheridan,” he answered darkly. He had been thinking over that same question while they had been on the move and it was the only answer he could come up with. The war birds were excellent trackers, but how could they have found them so easily when they had left no trace of their trail? “It's the most likely option. You don't have to look at me like that, Ariana. Sheridan made her choice and she chose to be our enemy. There's nothing that can be done about that now.”
“I'm sorry, Alec.”
“I should have asked this earlier, but are you injured? Kellen's war birds aren't exactly known for their gentle touch.”
“I don't think so. I'm a little sore, but it's nothing.”
“I'd rather be sure of that for myself, if you don't mind.”
She nodded weakly and stood, turning around so that the side of her waist where the bird had wrapped its talons around her was visible to him. “It's probably just a bruise.”
He rose to his feet and lifted her arm above her head to get a better look. “Well, it looks like the cincher took the better part of the damage.” There were claw marks across the length of it, stretching from her spine to her belly button. He grimaced at the thought of what those claws would have done without the thick leather cincher to act as a buffer. He dropped her
arm and she turned around to face him, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. “Are you sure it doesn't hurt that bad?”
“Could be worse.” She plopped back down on the ground, retaking the position she had been in before Alec had disturbed her.
He sat down in front of her. “I used to blame myself when Kellen hurt someone.” This caused her to look up and he continued. “She used to do that to try to prove to me how weak I was. A year or so ago, I made the mistake of standing up for a cook that she had been torturing. He had botched a meal when she expected important guests. At first, she just had him beaten. But when I spoke up against her treatment of him, she decided to do it herself. In front of me. She showed me how merciless she could be, spending days on him until he was on the brink of death. Then she would bring him back to health and start all over again. Then she made me take over.”
“You beat him?”
He nodded remorsefully. “She told me that if I didn't, she would kill him. So I did, trying to go easy on him.” His brows pulled together as the heaviness of the memories set in. “And then she killed him. Anyway, when she saw how this affected me, she took to punishing people herself while I stood and watched. They would beg for me to help them, but I knew if I tried . . . it would just get worse for them. So I did nothing. And the guilt nearly consumed me. I knew that every person she tortured in front of me was being treated far worse for my benefit. I might not have been beating them myself, but I was responsible for the pain they were suffering.”
“What did you do?”
He lifted a shoulder and brushed his dark curls out of his face. “I tried to stop caring. Eventually, it worked. I closed myself off enough to where I hardly felt anything for anyone.”
“Except Sheridan.”
He allowed the amendment with a slight bow of the head. “Sometimes not even her. Though I do wonder why Kellen never used my friendship with Sheridan against me. I suppose maybe she knew that Sheridan never cared for me in the same way. That Sheridan would always choose her over me. The point is that I felt like I couldn't afford to care for anyone. It nearly broke me.”
Heirs of War, Crown of Flames Page 15
