by Ali McNamara
‘Why don’t you?’ he suddenly asks.
‘Why don’t I what?’
‘Stay on a bit longer here when Daisy-Rose is finished. What’s the rush to get back to London? You told me yourself your job is very freelance, and you can work from wherever you need to as long as the work gets done. Why not work from here?’
‘I – I don’t know. I do have to go back to London sometimes, though, to oversee projects occasionally.’
‘We’re not exactly in outer space here, are we? There are trains, roads, even flights if you needed to be somewhere superfast.’
‘But I’d have nowhere to live,’ I say, desperately trying to think of reasons why this idea isn’t practical. ‘I can only keep the cottage until the end of the week, then some other holiday-makers will be moving in.’
As I hear myself say this, I immediately feel very sad at the thought of leaving this little house with its quirky living arrangements and beautiful view through the very windows we’re sitting next to.
‘There are other cottages, Ana, and you know it. Yes, a lot of the property here is let to holiday-makers, but your rent must be extortionate in London, so even if you do have to pay a little over the odds, compared to renting there it’s got to be an improvement. Unless you don’t want to stay…’
I think quickly what it would be like to live here, and it doesn’t take a lot of thought to realise that I’ve felt happier in the couple of weeks I’ve spent in St Felix than in the whole two years I’ve been renting my flat in North London.
‘Yes, but still,’ I add, avoiding his question. ‘I can’t just up sticks and move, can I?’
‘Why?’ Malachi demands. ‘Tell me one thing that’s stopping you? You have very few people you can call friends where you are now. What little family you have lives mostly in the south of the country, so it won’t be a lot harder to see them when you need or want to, will it?’
How did he know that, I wonder? I’m sure I haven’t talked to him about my family.
‘And think of Daisy’s boys. How much would they love coming to stay with Aunty Ana by the seaside? You could give them some magnificent holidays here.’
Now that thought does cheer me. Jacob and Harry would love it here; we could have some wonderful times if they came to stay, and I could give Peter a break occasionally too.
‘But if I did come to live here that doesn’t mean Noah and I necessarily have to be in a relationship.’
‘No one said it did. You obviously aren’t that keen on him.’
‘I never said that. I do quite like him… Actually, no, I like him a lot.’
‘And so, what’s holding you back?’
I hesitate – it sounded silly, even in my head.
‘He’s too nice.’
‘How can someone be too nice?’
‘I’m just not used to it, that’s all, and it’s not just Noah, everyone here in St Felix has been lovely to me – you, Ant and Dec, Jake, Jess, even Rita from the pub. Everyone is too kind.’ I feel myself welling up a little, and I turn away from him to compose myself.
‘You can’t have too much kindness in your life, Ana,’ Malachi says softly. ‘If only there were more places like St Felix in the world, it would make my job so much easier.’
‘What do you mean your job?’
‘Spreading sunshine into people’s lives, of course,’ he says quickly, then he winks. ‘A bit of Malachi charm works wonders – that and my infamous coffee-making.’
I have to smile. ‘Yeah, yeah. Although I must say you’ve been my saviour since I’ve been here, Malachi. I’m not just talking about Daisy-Rose – you’ve sat and you’ve listened to me, given me advice – actual good advice, not just some text book nonsense, and most importantly, you’ve been my friend.’
Malachi looks quite touched.
‘I’ve never had a male friend before, not a platonic one anyway. You’re like having a gay best friend. Except you’re not.’
‘No, I’m not, not this time anyway.’ He pauses to think, as if he’s considering saying something. I’m about to ask him what he means by this time when he speaks again. ‘I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you too, Ana,’ he says, looking earnestly at me. ‘It doesn’t always work out that way, but this time you’ve been a delightful charge.’
‘Why do you keep saying this time? What’s going on?’
‘How are those signs coming on?’ Malachi asks, standing up and going outside to the balcony.
‘I haven’t seen any lately. The last one was at Juliet’s house when she said she’d been named after a Dire Straits song from the eighties. But don’t change the subject, what do you mean by this time?’
‘So you’ll definitely think about it then?’ he asks, leaning on the balcony railings and looking up. ‘Staying in St Felix? I really think you should.’
I get up now and join him outside.
‘I’ll think about it, okay?’ I reply. ‘But I have to do something else first.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Make peace with Noah. Apparently I’ve dented his pride…’ I look wryly across at Malachi.
‘Just my opinion,’ Malachi says, holding up his hands. ‘But I think if you can make peace with Noah, everything will work out just fine for both of you.’
‘How can even you possibly know that?’
Malachi looks up into the sky again, and I follow his gaze.
‘Whoa – how is that possible?’ I say, staring up at the sky.
‘Anything is possible if you believe, Ana.’
Malachi and I stand side by side on the balcony, gazing up in wonderment at the clouds, which have managed to form a perfect 8 and a perfect 0 above us.
Thirty-Eight
I walk towards Noah’s Ark later that day still thinking about the clouds.
I’d never seen anything like it – it had been truly amazing. A complete coincidence, of course, I’m trying to tell myself as I walk. Clouds made funny shapes all the time, and it just so happened that these clouds had formed something I was searching for at the very moment I was looking at them.
Some people would call that a sign…
No, I shake my head. It wasn’t possible. But what about all the other times that eighties things had popped up when I’d been wondering if I was on the right track? Was that just coincidence too?
Ah, where are you when I need your spiritual input, Daisy? I think, glancing up at the sky again. You’d have definitely had your own take on this. One I would have likely pooh-poohed though. I never took much notice when you tried to tell me about these things – I sort of wish I had now.
Even when Daisy had been very ill in bed one day and had tried to talk to me about an afterlife, I’d tried to change the subject…
January 2018
‘Thanks for taking the boys out today, Ana – both Peter and I really appreciate it.’
‘You know I enjoy it just as much as they do, if not more!’ I smile at my friend propped up on several white pillows in her bed. It was only a double, but Daisy’s frail tiny frame made it look super king-size she took up so little space in it. ‘How are you feeling today?’
‘Not good,’ Daisy admits, which I’m surprised to hear her say. She always tried to put a positive spin on things however bad they were, especially her illness. ‘I don’t think I’ve got much longer, Ana.’
‘No, don’t you be saying that,’ I tell her, getting up and pretending to arrange the flowers the boys had chosen for her this afternoon: pink roses and tiny white alstroemeria. A bit traditional for me, but they had liked them and thought their mother would too. ‘You’ll live for ever.’
‘Sit down, Ana, please,’ she says, and I notice how much of an effort it is for her to tap the bedclothes.
I do as she asks.
‘Now, I know we’ve discussed what I want to happen when I’ve gone regarding the boys and my funeral.’
I look away. I hated talking about this.
‘Ana, please listen.’
> I reluctantly turn back.
‘But I want to tell you something else. I know you don’t believe in any of my “nonsense” as you like to call it, but I do. When we die, Ana, it’s not the end, I’m convinced of it. Our spirits go on to do even greater work than they’ve done here on earth, helping those that need a little push in the right direction and guiding those in need back on to the right path.’
This was making me feel decidedly edgy, but I continue to listen to my friend. Who was I to deny her this when she was going through so much?
‘I know you don’t believe, Ana, and that’s fine, really it is – we can’t all be the same and the world would be much poorer for it if we were, but I’m going to make you a promise, my friend. When I die – No, let me continue,’ she says, when I try to interrupt. ‘When I die, I’ll be looking down on you and Peter and the boys. I’ll watch out for you and I’ll help you if you need me. I don’t know how I’ll do this, Ana, but I just know I will. I’ll send you a sign to let you know I’m there. I’ve tried to talk to you about signs before, haven’t I?’
I nod.
‘A lot of people only see white feathers as being a sign that an angel or a spirit, or whatever you want to call them, is present, but there are so many ways of being sent reassurance that you’re doing the right thing or are on the right path – you just have to look for them.’
‘Can you make sure your signs are fifty pound notes?’ I ask, smiling at her. ‘It would be really handy to find a few of those lying around every now and then.’
Daisy smiles now too. ‘I’ll do my best,’ she says. ‘But I will send you a sign that I’m still with you, I promise. Don’t forget to look for them, will you?’
‘I won’t,’ I agree, mostly to appease her.
‘Promise me, Ana?’
‘I promise.’
I stop for a moment on Harbour Street and stare up at the sky.
‘Is it you?’ I whisper, as holiday-makers surround me and people have to sidestep to pass me by. ‘Are you sending me the eighties signs to let me know I’m on the right track?’
‘Are you okay?’ someone asks, and I’m forced to come back to earth again.
‘Oh, hello,’ I say to Amber from the florist. ‘Sorry, I’m causing an obstruction.’
‘It’s fine,’ she says calmly. ‘Sometimes you have to stop and think when you need to.’
‘What’s that?’ I ask, noticing a floral arrangement in her hand.
‘This? It’s a delivery. It’s for a customer’s eightieth birthday. They’re holidaying in Seagull Cottage up the road, so it’s easier for me to walk it to them than get the van out.’
‘It’s pretty,’ I say, looking at the flowers in the arrangement.
‘Yes. It’s a bit too traditional for me – roses and alstroemeria – but it’s what they wanted. The two together mean love and friendship. It’s what we specialise in at The Daisy Chain – flowers with special meanings.’
‘I think their meaning is spot on,’ I agree, still staring at the flowers. ‘Spot on for me anyway.’
Amber doesn’t seem to think there’s anything odd in my statement, and she simply smiles. ‘That’s good to know, Ana. I’m so pleased I could help.’ Then she continues on her way along the street, and I, with a big smile on my face, continue in the direction of Noah’s Ark.
‘Hi, Jess,’ I call, as I open the door of the antiques shop, and as usual the bell rattles above me. I walk over to the counter where she’s cleaning a silver tea service. ‘Is Noah about?’
‘Ana, it’s you,’ Jess says, looking a little flustered. ‘Er, no, Noah’s gone down to Marazion – some house clearance thingy.’
‘Oh.’ With my newly found buoyant mood I’d been all geared up to apologise to Noah and hopefully carry on where we left off, if he still wanted to.
‘He should be back soon, though?’ Jess adds hopefully. ‘Do you want to wait?’
‘Erm…’ I look around. I wanted to see Noah, but I didn’t really want to spend the sunny afternoon in an antiques shop. ‘I might pop back later.’
Jess looks downcast. ‘It might be just as well,’ she shrugs. ‘He wasn’t in a very good mood before he left.’
‘That might have been my fault, I’m afraid.’
‘Ah… I did wonder, but I didn’t like to ask. Noah was in no mood for chit-chat earlier.’
‘No, I’m sure he wasn’t. I think I offended him this morning.’
‘Oh, really?’ Jess’s ears prick up. ‘So he did stay over at yours after the barbecue then? We… I mean I thought as much.’
‘It’s fine, Jess. I’m sure you and Malachi discussed where we’d gone when you awoke on the beach and found we weren’t there.’
‘Yes, that would be it… on the beach.’ Jess grins at me, her eyes wide.
But my eyes narrow. ‘What is it with you two?’ I ask. ‘Had you met Malachi before last night?’
Jess’s eyes widen even further and she looks up at the ceiling.
‘Er… Yeah, sort of.’
‘When?’
‘Er… in the pub. The pub… yes, that’s it. I didn’t remember him to begin with, though – I think I’d had a bit too much that night.’ She rolls her eyes dramatically and lifts an imaginary glass.
‘But he remembered you?’
‘I think so. Maybe you’d best ask him?’
‘I will.’
‘So… Noah stayed at yours last night, eh?’ Jess says, leading the conversation back to Noah. She winks at me. ‘I’m glad. It’s about time he got some action.’
‘Jess!’
‘It’s true. I’ve never even seen Noah look at a woman in all the time I’ve been here. Not in the way he looks at you anyway. The man is besotted with you.’
I feel my cheeks redden. ‘That’s a bit strong, isn’t it?’
‘Nope. He was smitten the moment he bumped into you eating your fish and chips, I reckon. All he needed was a little push in the right direction. Actually make that a great big shove!’ She smiles knowingly and folds her arms.
‘Noah said you were always keen for us to spend time together. Why is that?’
‘I just want to see him happy, and I reckon you, Ana, could be just the person to make that happen. The guy needs a break after what happened to him.’
‘What did happen to him?’ I ask. ‘Noah won’t discuss it. He just closes up when I try to talk to him about it.’
Jess hesitates, obviously debating whether she should let me know or not. She looks around the shop. It’s not particularly busy, and as far as I can see there are only a lady and a small child looking at some china figurines in the far corner.
‘I’m not sure whether I should be the one to tell you,’ she whispers anxiously. ‘It might not be right. They might not like it.’
‘Who might not?’
Jess wrings her hands together and hops uneasily from one foot to the other.
‘Please, Jess. I might be able to help. You obviously know something?’
But my plea is broken by the sound of the shop bell making a noise; this time it has a half rattle, half ring to it, as though it’s recovering its voice after a bout of laryngitis. Jess stares with alarm at the bell, and we watch the elderly lady and the child leaving through the door.
I look twice at the lady – isn’t that the same woman who woke me on my journey to St Felix? It sure looks a lot like her. I’m about to say something when the little girl speaks.
‘Every time you hear a bell ring an angel gets their wings,’ the little girl sings, looking at the bell above her head, and I forget about the woman for a moment and smile. The line was from one of Daisy’s favourite movies – she always made us watch It’s a Wonderful Life every Christmas. I stare silently at the woman and the child as they leave the shop, but before the door has time to close Noah appears in the entrance. He looks surprised and then annoyed to see me, and I’m shocked at how much his annoyance hurts.
‘Noah!’ I say, wanting to rush over and hug
him. ‘You’re back. Jess said you were in Marazion.’
‘I was,’ Noah says, calmly closing the shop door. ‘The house clearance turned out to be a bit of a dud. Is Jess helping you this afternoon?’
I nod vaguely.
‘That’s good,’ he says, and before I have time to say anything, he walks straight past me across the shop towards his office. ‘I’ll be in here doing the accounts if anyone should want me, Jess,’ he calls from the door. ‘Don’t disturb me unless it’s important please.’ And he closes the door firmly behind him.
