Whatever this was, whatever had occurred here, Dehgoies was right. It was over.
Galaith had declared it over.
But Terian wouldn’t let it end.
“...What toll, Terry?” Dehgoies said.
“I want you to let Quay here suck your cock before you go,” Terian said, sidling closer to Dehgoies. “I want to watch you come, brother.”
I stiffened, feeling my skin flush.
I felt the other seers in the clearing glance at me, felt their lights reacting to Terian’s words. I felt Dehgoies’ attention on me briefly, too, just before it flickered away.
Even so, my eyes never left the two male seers.
I watched Terian force Dehgoies back, nearly to the edge of the circle of torchlight by shifting the direction of the blade and making small, smooth, almost inconspicuous movements with his feet. Dehgoies moved when Terian moved, his eyes and expression openly wary, and I got the distinct sense that Dehgoies knew what he was up against, that he knew Terian could slit his throat, that he wouldn’t be able to twist away fast enough to avoid it. I wondered if maybe Terian really would do it, despite Galaith’s orders.
From what I could feel off of Terian’s light, I suspected he might, that this wasn’t just some empty threat, no matter how irrationally he worded it. That instability vibrated at the forefront of Terian’s light, sliding into that out-of-control place I had seen in him since I first laid eyes on the red-haired seer. Looking between the two men, I realized it wouldn’t take much... if Dehgoies moved the wrong way, moved too fast, or tried to disarm him.
Terian really could kill him.
“I think hanging around the Seven hasn’t done much for your sex life, Revi’,” Terian said, still matching micro-movements and micro-steps with the other man, keeping the knife pressed against the long throat. “...Really, I think I should probably make you give head to everyone out here, my friend... including your kneeler brothers and sisters... since I’d hate for you to get too out of practice. That being said, I’ll be satisfied just to watch you come in brother Quay’s mouth. Or you can blow me right here. Your choice.”
When Dehgoies frowned, Terian pressed the knife deeper again, making him gasp.
More blood ran down his neck, spotting the top of his dark blue shirt.
“...Just once, brother. What could be the harm?”
“You’ve lost your fucking mind,” Dehgoies said, his voice angry again. “Jesus, Terry. What the hell is the matter with you?”
“What is the matter with me?” Terian said, cocking an eyebrow.
That denser flame danced in his amber eyes, sparking and shifting in the stuttering glow of the yisso torches. I could see it clearly now, despite my distance from the two of them.
Terian’s voice grew almost hoarse.
“I miss my friend, Revi’,” he said. “I miss my friend. My friend who left without a word, who fucking betrayed me without ever giving me a chance to make things right between us. Is that really so hard to understand? Is it? All I’m asking is for a little token of his esteem before he leaves me again. Is it really so much to ask, Revi’?”
Dehgoies’ eyes shifted sideways, towards the seer with the gray eyes, but Terian jerked the knife forward once more, cutting him again, deeper that time... deep enough to make the few trickles of blood turn into a narrow stream, darkening the top of his shirt and the armored vest he wore. Dehgoies let out a panicked sound, jerking his head back from the knife, but again, Terian’s fingers and feet followed him, pressing closer.
“Don’t look at him!” Terian snapped. “Don’t look at your new master for guidance, Revi’. Look at me... only at me.”
Once the taller male turned his head, aiming those clear irises back down at Terian, the latter smiled.
“That’s better,” Terian said, exhaling shortly. “We can be reasonable about this, after all. Come now, Revi’. Just do as I ask. I’m sure none of these fine new friends of yours would mind... hell, maybe they’d appreciate seeing your talents showcased. Maybe they’ll want a turn on you themselves when you’re done.” Terian motioned to the six seers flanking him, without taking his eyes off Deghoies’ face. “Are you really willing to risk bloodshed over such a small thing? Would you deny me even that, brother, after all of these years?”
There was a silence while the two of them just stared at one another.
Dehgoies watched Terian warily, his eyes showing that he saw that instability, too.
I found myself wondering if I should speak, but when I looked at Varlan, the older seer only gave me a dense, difficult-to-read warning look.
When I turned back, Terian was reaching out towards Dehgoies with his free hand.
He had his fingers on Deghoies’ belt buckle before I realized where he was going. Before anyone else in the clearing moved, he’d already started unhooking the clasp, one-handed. The silence deepened as Dehgoies just stood there, letting him do it, every muscle in his long body tense. In seconds, Terian had his hand inside Dehgoies’ pants, almost before I had admitted to myself that the other man was serious.
Once I knew he was, I felt a flush of anger... even as I felt pain leave Dehgoies’ light at Terian’s massaging fingers, along with a denser thread of disgust.
I felt the other male’s disbelief, too, mixed with a nearly primal fear.
“Terry, jesus. Stop––”
“Come on, Revi’. One blow job. What could it hurt?”
“You really are fucking crazy. You’ve finally cracked––”
“I want you on your knees, brother Revik. Now. Right now, in fact.”
“Fuck you!”
“Revi’. Just do it. I can feel how hungry you are...”
“Gods...” An angry, but clearly more confused look crossed Dehgoies’ face. He tried to move back, but Terian held onto him, pressing the knife closer.
I found myself already reacting to the other man’s pain, nearly lost in it.
Whatever else Dehgoies had said, whatever else he might be feeling about what Terian was doing to him, Terian had been right about one thing. Dehgoies hadn’t been getting much sex. In fact, from his light, it felt as if he hadn’t had sex in a long time. Months, at the very least... likely longer. I felt my tongue thicken when the other male closed his eyes, saw Dehgoies’ body tensing more as Terian continued to massage him. One of his hands gripped Terian’s arm now, but I could tell he was fighting both things, almost as if––
“Stop it,” he gasped. “Please, Terry. Please... don’t do this.”
He let out a low groan when the other male’s hand tightened on him.
Terian clicked at him, shaking his head and giving a strange sort of laugh.
“Stop?” he said, mimicking the other’s pleading voice. “Who are you kidding, Revi’? You’re so hungry right now, your light is practically fucking mine already. I’ll have you begging me here in a minute... in fact, I could probably get you to do it now...”
“No. I don’t want this. Terry...”
“Come on, Revi’,” Terian said, his voice cajoling again. “Come on, brother. Let go. Just let it happen...”
“No, goddamn it...”
Dehgoies’ voice cut out, though, even as he let out a denser gasp, one that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the knife at his throat. He closed his eyes again, and that time, pain pulsed off him, thick enough that I felt the seers around me reacting openly, shifting their weight on their feet without taking their eyes off the taller male.
“Come on, Revi’,” Terian coaxed. “Come on. Come for me, brother. You know you want to. Just once, let me watch you. Then I’ll leave you alone. Promise...”
“Crazy bastard.” Dehgoies gripped his arm harder, groaning. “Jesus... Terry. Fuck you...”
Terian laughed. “I’m trying to, brother. I’m trying. You need to imagine your precious cunt, while I jerk you off? Go ahead, Revi’. I don’t mind. Pretend it’s her stroking you...”
Dehgoies shook his head, his eyes angry.
/>
Even so, I felt the other man’s pain worsen.
“Ah, you like that,” Terian said, his voice a murmur again. “You like that a lot, don’t you, Revi’? Tell me again how you’re just friends, you and she. Tell me how grateful you are, about all the help she’s given you since you ran away from me and everyone else who gave a damn about you. Then tell me how you aren’t out here, hoping she might give you a pity fuck, while she’s separated from her mate...”
Dehgoies’s jaw hardened more. “You’ve lost your mind, Terry. You really have––”
But another voice cut him off.
“Brother Terian. Let him go.”
I blinked, startled.
I realized that I, along with most of the seers in the clearing, had just been standing there, staring, watching the two of them as if in a trance. We’d just stood there, watching while Terian molested the other man, doing nothing to stop it.
Even now, I fought the cloying strands of sympathetic pain, feeling it on all of the seers I’d come out here with. Feeling it on Terian... even on some of the Adhipan seers, who stood behind Dehgoies, their guns trained around at the rest of us.
When I jerked from the sound of that sharper voice, it felt like waking up from some kind of collective trance. My anger returned once I had, even as my face flushed, as I found myself staring down at where Terian continued to hold the other man’s cock in one hand.
He’d stopped massaging Dehgoies, though.
It took me a few seconds more to understand why.
Then my mind cleared more and I realized who had spoken.
Varlan stood directly behind Terian, the barrel of that modified, antique assault rifle of his pressed firmly against Terian’s neck.
Without thought, I found myself bringing up my own gun.
Varlan hit at my light, though, hard in the space.
That time, there was no doubt of his meaning. Even so, Varlan spoke to me, too.
Stay out of this, brother Quay. Unless you want to end up dead.
I tensed more, gripping the gun tighter.
Brother Quay. I am not acting solely on my own behalf... nor on that of brother Dehgoies. Varlan paused, letting his meaning sink in. Would you really go against your own people in this? Do you feel so strongly that brother Terian is in the right?
Hesitating only a second longer, I slowly lowered the gun.
Immediately, I felt Varlan’s light retract from mine.
“...Let go of him,” Varlan said aloud, aiming his words at Terian. “Now, brother.”
Feeling my adrenaline spike, I looked around at the faces of the other seers of my pod. They stared between Terian and Varlan and Dehgoies and Varlan’s gun, their expressions reflecting a shocked confusion that manifested as group paralysis.
Some of them stared at where Terian held Dehgoies, too, and I felt confused flickers in all of their lights, as if they’d just realized how far lost they’d gotten in the light interaction between the two men. Even so, just about all of them had their rifles aimed forward once more, although none of them appeared ready to shoot, or even sure who they should be aiming at. Before I could decide what to do, Varlan’s voice once more grew audible in the quiet of the lit clearing.
“Respected brother,” Varlan said, his voice soft, a near-purr. “Galaith requests that you take the knife from the delegate’s neck. He requests this with all understanding of the emotional difficulty of seeing brother Revik again, and with a great deal of empathy for those feelings. He also says it with a great deal of insistence, brother...”
Terian didn’t move.
“Now, brother Terian,” Varlan said, digging the rifle’s barrel deeper into Terian’s neck. “You must know this is not an empty threat. Nor is it only mine. Comply. Now. Or I will follow the orders I’ve been given...”
I felt pain building in my chest.
It occurred to me that I could feel the intention there, in Varlan’s light.
He would really do it. Galaith was threatening Terian’s life. He was doing it directly, via that rifle. He was choosing Dehgoies over brother Terian.
“Varlan!” I shouted. “Don’t. Don’t do it, you can’t possibly––”
“Silence!” Varlan thundered, giving me a hard look.
His violet eyes held a spark of dangerous light.
Something in that look, or perhaps the charge of aleimi that accompanied it, forced me to obey, almost before I knew I intended to.
“You’re well outside of your security clearance, brother Quay,” Varlan warned. “Trust me when I tell you... you don’t know what you’re in the middle of here.”
I swallowed, but had to concede the point.
I couldn’t help but feel the truth of Varlan’s words.
Once more, I lowered my rifle... realizing only then that I’d raised it against the other seer in the first place. That truth lingered in the air, beyond my emotional reaction. There was something going on here, something no one but Dehgoies, Varlan, Terian and Galaith himself seemed to fully understand.
Them, and perhaps the gray-eyed Balidor, who continued to stand behind Dehgoies.
Looking at the last directly once I remembered him, I realized that the middle-aged seer had his gun up, too, and that it pointed directly at Terian’s chest. Like Varlan himself, Balidor’s light emitted every certainty that he would use deadly force if the opportunity presented itself. He probably would have done it already, if he thought he could manage it without getting Dehgoies’ throat cut in the process.
Varlan, too, seemed to realize that Terian could still kill Dehgoies before either of them acted. If he fired now, Terian would slash sideways with that blade.
“Brother?” Varlan said, pressing the gun deeper against Terian’s neck. “Do not do this, brother. I beg you. Galaith assures me that this will not be the only body of yours to suffer, if you do...”
I stared at Varlan, wondering what that remark could possibly mean.
Did Terian actually have a family somewhere? Children?
The thought brought a kind of heated pain to my light, sharp enough that for a moment, I almost couldn’t bear it... or see past it. I knew I was only on the bare cusp of feeling any of this. How irrelevant I was, a mere prop in some ongoing emotional trauma Terian still felt for the seer he even now threatened to kill. I fought to breathe past it, to focus on the four males standing like statues in the middle of the clearing, the two guns pointed at Terian and the bloody knife held flush with Dehgoies’ throat.
Could Terian really have children somewhere? A mate?
Or did Varlan mean that Galaith would destroy Terian’s aleimic body after death, as well as his physical one prior to that? Would he break him after death, too, damn his servant to return as a grub or some kind of animal in his next incarnation?
Whatever he meant, that time, Terian turned his head.
He stared at Varlan directly, his amber eyes like glass.
Even so, I could feel the conflict there.
It wasn’t enough to get Terian to back down, at least not all at once... but it was there.
I felt the other male weigh back and forth the desires that circled his next move, as if in some higher vibration of his light, a layer that barely connected to Terian’s everyday consciousness, at least not the parts I could feel. That part of Terian still seemed to operate with reason, however, with logic, with strategy and intelligence... but that other, more animal element still appeared to be the one calling the shots.
On that more animal level, I felt Terian scarcely thinking at all.
Instead, he reacted only, pulled by some denser emotion, an emotion that lived on the edges of that out-of-control voltage and light that I both loved and hated on him. That out-of-control charge seemed to wind into some part of Dehgoies as well, and looking at them now, I couldn’t explain it, but I could feel how there was a sameness there, somehow, as if they really were brothers... in blood, as well as in Terian’s mind.
Whatever that connection was, I
couldn’t help but find it beautiful.
It also threatened me more deeply than anything I’d ever experienced.
It hit at some core element of my identity, and not solely due to Terian himself, or even my own light’s reactions to the other male. I found myself losing myself in that distant charge of light, seeing it only well enough to know I would never be able to reach that part of Terian myself, or of Dehgoies, or of any other seer that inhabited those higher spaces.
Once I saw that, I felt a heated sickness spread over my own light.
A part of me wished Terian would kill Dehgoies then... or humiliate him, at least. Show his true colors to these pious, kneeler hypocrites... maybe even by forcing him to his knees like Terian wanted, make him perform favors like the craven fuck he was.
Make him beg. Beat him.
Show him to be nothing more than an animal, like the rest of us.
Maybe Terian was right. Maybe we should make him work off that hunger the hard way, instead of letting him stand there, thinking he was better than the rest of us for the simple stupidity of denying himself. Maybe we should let Terian illuminate the truth behind Dehgoies’ new veneer of being a pure and special snowflake.
Like many things with Terian, I both loved and hated that idea, too.
“I can’t just let him go,” Terian said finally.
“You can, brother,” Varlan said. “...And you will. It is a direct order. An order you are already violating. Publicly, I might add.”
I saw a hotter anger flare in Terian’s eyes, even as that more structured rationality reasserted itself once again.
Terian glanced around the clearing at the rest of Varlan’s pod, pausing only a half-breath longer to stare at me alone. He frowned into my face, and I saw something in those amber eyes shift, even as that hotter fire slowly began to dim.
As soon as I saw it, I felt some part of myself exhale in relief.
I realized as I did, that I’d feared for Terian, too.
Terian glanced at me again for a brief instant, almost like he’d heard me.
Then, frowning, he removed the knife from Dehgoies’ throat, stepping back in a single fluid motion. He retracted his hand from Dehgoies’ cock, as well.
Allie's War Early Years Page 39
