by L. A. Witt
But had it bought him enough time?
“Detective Ruffner?” a male voice called into the waiting room.
I turned on my heel to see a young nurse with a clipboard. “Yes?”
He gestured for me to follow him. We stepped out of the waiting area and into a hallway, and he quietly said, “Mr. Corliss is out of surgery. He’s stable.”
The words turned my knees to liquid. The dizziness from my meds had nothing on how violently everything spun now.
“Mr. Corliss is out of surgery.”
“He’s stable.”
Darren’s alive.
Oh my God, Darren’s alive.
“Detective?” The nurse’s hand met my arm and jarred me back into the present. “You all right?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. Is he awake?”
The nurse shook his head grimly. “Not yet. He’s going to be under heavy sedation for a while even after he’s out of recovery.” His brow pinched. “If you want to go home and get some sleep, we’ll keep you updated.”
“No.” I swallowed. “I’d rather stay until I can see him. Even if he’s doped up.”
“All right. It’ll probably be another hour or two at least.”
“I can wait.”
It turned out to be three hours. I was a little fuzzy on the details, but he’d needed more time between recovery and the ICU. The only thing that firmly registered in my mind was when they finally told me—and his parents, who’d arrived an hour earlier—that he was situated in his room.
“He’s still very, very heavily sedated,” the nurse warned us. “He’s mostly unconscious right now, so he won’t know you’re there.”
Darren’s mother pursed her lips. “Will he be awake in the morning?”
“In the afternoon, most likely. But he’ll still be loopy and incoherent. It might be two or three days before he’s up for conversation.”
She looked up at her husband.
“We can come back tomorrow,” he said. “Wait until he’s awake.”
“No.” She steeled herself and turned to the nurse. “I’d rather see him now. Even if he’s not awake, I want him to know I’m here.”
I braced for her husband or the nurse to insist that was nonsense, but they both simply nodded. I cleared my throat. “I’d, uh, like to see him too, if that’s all right.”
His parents eyed me, apparently surprised, but Commissioner Corliss squeezed my arm gently. “Looking out for your partner. Good man.”
I just smiled and left it at that.
The nurse led us to Darren’s room. Outside the door, his mom paused for a deep breath. So did I. And she had my utmost sympathy—I was struggling enough with the prospect of seeing Darren like this. The thought of one of my kids in the ICU . . . I didn’t even want to think about it.
She went in first. A moment later, I followed.
And we both stared at him in silence.
His left side was heavily bandaged, probably to immobilize his arm and keep him from dislodging the chest tube they’d put in. Tubes extended from the backs of both of his hands, his nose, and his mouth. Monitors kept watch over every vital imaginable, and the beep of the ECG actually comforted more than annoyed me. If it meant his heart was still beating, I could tolerate any noise.
His mother slipped her hand into his. The other was mostly bandaged aside from the IV, so I left it alone. Instead, I squeezed his leg like I had in the helicopter, and tried not to fall apart from both envy and parental empathy as his mom leaned down to kiss his forehead.
She turned to the nurse. “He’ll be all right, won’t he?”
“We’re taking good care of him. He’s stable, and we’re watching for any signs of infection or—”
“But he’ll be all right, won’t he?” The question was more forceful this time. Less invitation for roundabout answers and carefully scripted bullshit.
The nurse took a breath. His eyes flicked toward me, then back to her. “I have no reason to believe he won’t make a full recovery.”
Darren’s mother turned to her son again, stroking a few strands of hair off his forehead. I couldn’t read her well enough to know if the nurse’s answer had been enough. And on any other night, I might’ve lost my patience and tried to drag an impossibly precise answer out of the guy.
But, tonight, Darren was alive. It looked like he’d stay that way.
There wasn’t much more I could ask for.
The nurses weren’t kidding about Darren being loopy for the next few days. Most of the time, he barely recognized anyone. When he could speak, he asked where he was, why he was here, when he could leave, and didn’t seem to register any of us as separate entities from each other. To him, we seemed to be a group of floating heads who wandered in and out and refused to tell him when he could leave.
His parents stayed for shorter and shorter stretches. They desperately wanted to be by his side, but I didn’t blame them for needing breaks, and it wasn’t like they could leave his brother alone for long. They had one son who was quickly forgetting who he was, and another who couldn’t remember where he was from moment to moment. Had I been in their shoes, I was pretty sure it would’ve killed me.
As it was, I was useless to anyone. The nurses gently encouraged me to go home and get some sleep, reminding me they’d call the instant Darren was truly awake or if his condition changed, but I couldn’t sleep beyond brief catnaps. I couldn’t drive. I was lucky I had my phone set to remind me to take my pills, or I’d have forgotten that too.
The nurses, being saints, started letting me crash in an office that wasn’t being used. I’d doze for an hour or two, then come back and stay by Darren’s side. Even after visiting hours were over, they never kicked me or his parents out. When all this was over, I owed every last nurse in this ICU a cup of coffee. Every day. For a month.
I’d managed to catch a little bit of sleep when someone gently shook me awake.
“Detective?” a woman’s voice said.
I forced my eyes open. The stethoscope around her neck jarred me back into reality, reminding me I was in a hospital and why, and I jerked awake. “Is he okay? What’s—”
“He’s awake.” She smiled. “His family is on their way now, but I think he wants to see you.”
I sat up slowly, if only so I wouldn’t pass out and have to stay away from him a second longer. “How’s he doing?”
“He won’t shut up about calling you and getting an update on your case. I’m assuming that’s a good sign.”
I laughed as I gingerly rose, my whole body aching and my injured arm throbbing just for spite. “Yeah. That’s a good sign.”
She took me back to his room, and as I walked in . . . God, relief had never been so profound.
He was sitting up, eyes open and some color in his face. There was still an oxygen tube in his nose and an IV in the hand that was pretty much pinned to his side, and he was using the other hand to shakily hold a plastic cup. Compared to a normal day, he looked like shit. Compared to how he’d been on the pavement at the airfield? He’d never looked better.
He set the cup aside and smiled weakly up at me. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I touched his arm as I leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You’ve had me worried sick.”
“Wasn’t really a picnic for me either. Just FYI.”
“At least you got the good drugs,” I muttered. “I’m still suspended for the ones I didn’t even get to take.”
His smile vanished. “Still? Even after Thibedeau cleared you for the sting?”
I nodded. “Yep. Things have been a little crazy for the past few days.”
“The past . . .” He blinked. “How long have I been here?”
“You’ve been doped out of your head for about three days.”
“Jesus. And I didn’t even get to enjoy it.”
I managed a laugh, but it took a lot of work. As I met his gaze, the shootout flickered through my mind, and all the ways it could have happened differently tried to show thems
elves at once. I shook them away and squeezed Darren’s arm. “God, I’m so sorry about this.”
“For what?” Darren brushed his fingertips along my wrist. “It was a sting gone bad. It—”
“I could’ve stopped him, though. He—”
“Andreas. Jesus.” He shook his head. “There was so much shit going down from so many directions, you—”
“You’re my partner. I should’ve—”
“Shut up.”
My teeth snapped shut.
Darren met my gaze, his eyes tired but focused. “You stopped Trent from shooting me in the fucking face. I’ll take this over that.”
I shuddered, remembering all too clearly that moment of sheer rage when Trent had trained his gun on Darren. Easing myself down on the side of the bed, I slipped my hand into his. “That fucker wasn’t taking you down without going through me first.”
Darren smiled sleepily. “I know. I have never once doubted you have my back.” He rubbed the side of my hand with his thumb. “I’m pretty sure if I’d been out there with anybody else, things would’ve been a hell of a lot worse.”
That wasn’t something I wanted to think about. My subconscious would run me through all those worst-case scenarios for the next few months whenever I tried to sleep, but that could wait.
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I said. “You scared the shit out of me out there.”
He laughed, but winced. “Says the man who was threatening to be even more of an asshole if I fell asleep.”
“You heard that?”
“Uh-huh.” Under his breath, he muttered, “Fucker.”
I chuckled, which wasn’t nearly as painful for me. “I was just trying to keep you there with me.”
“Yeah, while I was trying really hard to pass out, you dick.”
“Tell you what.” I patted his arm. “Next time you want to go to sleep, I’ll let you.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He swallowed and winced. “So what happens now?”
“That’s up to your doctor, don’t you think?”
Darren rolled his eyes. “I meant at work. The case. After this thing goes to court and everybody goes to prison . . .”
I looked down at our joined hands. “I don’t know. I’ve been working this thing so long, I . . .” I shrugged. “I guess it depends on where the captain assigns us.”
“‘Us’?”
I met his gaze. “You don’t want to work together anymore?”
“I didn’t say that.” He squeezed my hand. “I just . . . didn’t know if you still wanted a partner.”
“I don’t want a partner. I want you.” I touched his face and leaned in a little closer. “Before Hamilton assigned you to me, I didn’t want to work with anybody because I couldn’t trust them. I couldn’t imagine a partner I’d trust with my life and who I could work with. But with you . . .” I traced his cheekbone with my thumb. “Truth is, I can’t imagine doing this job without you now.”
He blinked, and then a playful smile formed on his lips. “C’mere you big sap.”
I laughed softly, but he silenced me with a kiss. And, God, it felt good to kiss him. I didn’t have the energy to even think about getting turned on, and he was in no condition to be doing anything other than resting, but the relief of this long, affectionate kiss was enough to nearly melt me where I stood. The reassurance that we’d both made it through in one piece was insane.
I drew back enough to meet his gaze. “You know, maybe what should happen next is I should take some vacation time.” I smoothed his hair. “Make sure you stay out of trouble while you’re on medical leave.”
Darren grinned. “You? Keep me out of trouble? That’ll be the day.” His grin faded a little, and he added, “But . . . if you really do want to take some time off, I wouldn’t mind the company.”
“Good, because I don’t think you’re going to be able to get rid of me.”
He smirked. “Lucky me—only man on the planet who Andreas Ruffner wants to be around.”
“That’s about the size of it, yeah.” We both laughed softly, and I pressed another long, gentle kiss to his lips. Get rid of him? Not a chance.
A subtle cough made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Darren tensed too.
I broke the kiss and turned, and . . . goddamn it.
In the doorway, staring at us with bemused disbelief, was Captain Hamilton and Darren’s parents.
Clearing my throat, I sat up, then stood. “Um . . .”
“Hey, Mom,” Darren said sheepishly. “Vic. Captain.”
“Uh, hi,” the captain said.
Rolling his eyes, Darren muttered, “Every time I kiss you in a hospital bed . . .”
I smothered a laugh.
His mom eyed me, then looked at her son. “Well, they did say you were awake. We’d have been here sooner, but wanted to make sure someone was staying with Asher.”
Darren sobered. “Does he know what’s going on?”
“He’s . . .” she began uneasily. “Not the details, no. He’s worried about you, but we didn’t want to bring him here and upset him.”
“Good idea.”
Beside the commissioner, Hamilton cleared his throat. “Ruffner.” He motioned toward the hallway. “Can I borrow you outside for a second?”
“Yeah. Sure.” I glanced at Darren, who nodded, and as I stood, I gently freed my hand from his. Because this whole time, as we’d exchanged awkward greetings with his parents, we hadn’t bothered to let go. Whoops.
I followed the captain into the hallway and quietly shut the door behind me. “Yeah, Captain?”
“You know . . .” He gave me a puzzled look. “When I told you to get along with your new partner, I didn’t mean . . .”
I laughed, heat rushing into my face. “Yeah. About that. It’s—”
“It’s not my business, Andreas.” He put up his hands and shook his head. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Lowering his hands, he added, “Hell, I didn’t even know you were gay.”
“I’m . . .” I hesitated. I was too exhausted to explain bisexuality to my boss, so I just shrugged. “Surprise?”
He laughed quietly, but then turned serious. “So he’s gonna be okay, then?”
“Yeah. He’ll be hurting for a while, and he needs to take it easy, but . . .” I nodded. “Looks like he’ll be fine.”
“Good. Good.” His eyes flicked toward the door, and more to himself than me, he added, “Good.” Then he cleared his throat. “Listen, I brought something for you.” He reached into the pocket of his overcoat, and when he pulled his hand back out, he extended it.
My heart skipped. My badge.
“Welcome back, Detective.”
As I took it from him, I exhaled. “Thank you, sir.”
“Your gun is in the armory. You can sign it out anytime.”
I nodded, turning my badge over between my fingers like I’d never touched it before. Even though I’d been cleared for the sting, my suspension hadn’t been officially lifted. I’d been reasonably confident things would work out, but it wasn’t until now, with the cool brass and smooth leather in my hands, that I could finally rest easy about my professional future.
Hamilton shifted uncomfortably. “And I wanted to apologize. For not taking you at your word. I’ve known you too long to think you weren’t as good a cop as we both know you are.”
“Thank you, Captain. To be fair, you did see the morphine in my locker.”
“Well, I’d like to tell you that was the first time I took the allegations seriously. But it wasn’t. So, I’m sorry, Detective.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I paused. “So what happens now?”
“Now, we wait for Trent to be released.” He glanced at his watch. “Which, he’s probably out in an hour or two, so we’ll be bringing him downtown for a little chat.” He met my gaze. “I don’t think we’ll have too much trouble getting names out of him. Paula rode here with him in the ambulance, and when she told him he was looking at life without par
ole upstate, he was already trying to make a plea bargain.”
“Smart man,” I said through my teeth. “I imagine there’s a lot of people in that prison who’d like a piece of him.”
“Exactly. So he says he’s got a long, long list of names for us.”
I arched an eyebrow. “He’s still going upstate, though, right? No plea bargain for a minimum security—”
“As long as we can play the ‘we’re throwing you in with the general population’ card, I’d say we’ve got the upper hand.”
I couldn’t help grinning. “Well, Paula knows the case almost as well as I do now. Turn her loose on him, and you’ll probably have every name he’s got.”
“That’s the plan.” Hamilton paused. “Question is, are you up for going out and collaring the people he name-drops?”
“All of them? No. And actually . . .” I glanced at Darren’s door. “To be honest, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to take a few days off.” I gestured at the room. “While he’s recovering.”
Hamilton blinked as if he’d forgotten about what he’d seen in Darren’s room. “Oh. Well, with the next phase of the investigation moving forward—” He shook his head. “No, on second thought, you and your partner both need some R&R after all of this. And there’s already a hell of a shit-storm in the press thanks to the mayor being killed, so the two of you may want to keep your heads down.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem. At least, until the trial.”
“Still, that should give you both a chance to recuperate. If I need your input on anything in the meantime, I’ll let you know.”
I exhaled, relieved to have at least some of this case’s weight sliding off my shoulders. “There’s one other thing, though.”
“Hmm?”
I gulped. “What about the threats Newberry made about my kids? I already sent my youngest and her mom out of town, but—”
“Don’t worry about them.” Hamilton patted the air with both hands. “I’ve already got people on it. Near as Thibedeau could figure out, the only one who made any calls or arrangements about your daughter’s internship interview was Newberry himself. He’s digging deeper just in case, but it doesn’t sound like there was anyone else involved. Your kids should be safe.”
