by Casey Dawes
“You can’t wait for three months for me to make a decision that will change our entire lives?” she asked.
“You already made that decision. For both of us!” He glared at her.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“Right. It was an accident.”
“It’s not an accident. We’re going to have a baby — not an accident.” The tears spilled out of her eyes.
“Damn. I’ve done it again. I’m sorry. I guess I’m not as adjusted to the idea as I thought.” He pounded his fist against the wooden corner piece. “Let’s go work in the garden. Outdoors will be good.”
She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I think you better go now, Rick.”
“But — but, what about dinner? What about the garden?”
“It’ll have to wait. I need to be alone now.”
“Fine!”
After Rick stormed from the house, Sarah sat on the top stair and wrapped her arms around Daisy.
Why can’t this be easier?
Chapter 12
After a solitary meal of leftover soup, Sarah went to bed early, exhausted by the drama of the afternoon. She dreamed of running down an endless road, rain pouring around her, vines creeping into the road, tripping her up. She knew she had to get someplace important before her baby was born. A fork in the road made her hesitate. In the distance on the right she could see Rick, waving frantically.
The rocky alternative twisted out of sight between treeless hills.
In her dream she sank down on the dusty road while the scene faded into nothingness and she drifted into a deep sleep.
The sun was streaming through her windows when her eyes opened the next morning. She lay in her bed, blinking, for a few moments while she tried to remember where she was.
And more importantly, which way the bathroom was located. When her feet hit the chill wooden floor, reality returned in time for her to find the correct doorway and relieve herself.
She was a single innkeeper having a baby unless Rick had his way. Then everything would change.
Returning to bed, she burrowed under the blankets. It was Sunday. She could be lazy until lunch.
Lunch. Was Rick coming back? She hadn’t heard from him since he’d stormed from the house the day before.
Shit. She’d made a mess of things again. Rick was trying to do the right thing by her and the baby and all Sarah could do was provoke him. Her baby deserved better.
Her baby. Was it a he or she? Did she want to know?
I suppose I should discuss it with Rick.
Her mind rebelled at the suggestion. It was her body, her baby. He’d provided a swimming tadpole and then had wanted nothing to do with the result.
He was trying to make up for it now.
Her head hurt and Sunday sleep departed.
After her shower she dragged herself into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and stared in. Scrambling eggs seemed like a lot of trouble, but her doctor had stressed the need for protein.
She stared out the back window as she prepped her meal. Grackles and starlings flitted in the trees. Would the vibrantly colored finches come in the spring? She could put out bird feeders to attract them. Hummingbirds, too.
The baby would be fascinated with the birds. Sarah imagined them in the garden, her child entranced by the overhead winged creatures while Sarah picked herbs for the evening dinner.
Who’d be cooking?
No, she was not going there again.
What was she going to do with herself? She was pinned to the house, waiting for Rick to show or not show. However, she’d committed the time to him, so even if he was in a snit, she’d be true to her word.
She looked around and realized she was running out of things to do in the house. The space needed furniture, lamps, and other decorations.
Garage sales. It was off-season, but with a nice day anything was possible and she definitely needed to get out of the house.
She could call her mother’s house to find out Rick’s plans.
Rising from the table, she washed the pans and dishes and put them in the rack to dry. The doorbell rang.
“I’m sorry,” Rick said and handed her a bouquet of daisies.
Good thing she’d thrown out Hunter’s faded flowers so she could recycle the red bucket. Looking for a vase would be an objective for on her garage sale rounds.
“Okay,” she said and went to the kitchen. Daisy and Rick followed.
“I have to go back to Davis early,” Rick continued. “I won’t be able to stay for dinner.” He glanced at the drying dishes. “I see you’ve had breakfast. I could make you lunch.”
“Why don’t we go out to lunch?” she said. “There’s a new place down by Rio del Mar I’ve been wanting to check out.” Neutral territory was less of an emotional minefield. She dragged out the red bucket and arranged the flowers.
“Uh. Sure. Let me collect my stuff and load it into the car. Then we can head out.”
“Can we take two cars? That way you can head back to Davis and I can run some errands when we’re done.”
He looked at the bucket. “Fancy vase.” He grinned.
“On the list.” She smiled at him. Maybe we can make it work. Yesterday’s argument was just a lover’s spat.
While Rick loaded his car, Sarah made sure Daisy had food and water, and then locked up the inn.
Their lunch conversation was surprisingly animated. Rick caught her up on the interim classes he’d been taking between semesters, private tutoring taught by the area’s best chefs. She questioned him in detail, getting more ideas of the types of food she wanted to serve at her inn.
“How about I come down next weekend, too?” Rick asked. “I could make up for being a jerk and create the dinner I’d planned.”
She laughed. “That’d be great! Next weekend … ” She took out her phone to check the calendar, hope igniting again. “I’ll mark it down. I’ve got such a busy schedule, you know.” She clicked to the appropriate page. “Oh. Sorry. That’s not going to work.”
“Why not?” His words were tinged with suspicion. “Got a date?”
“I told you. I’m not dating anyone while we’re trying to work things out. Don’t be ridiculous.” She looked up with a smile. Her breath shortened when she recognized the scowl on his face. “I didn’t mean to put you down, Rick. But I did mean what I said about committing to making this work.”
“Yeah, I know.” His face belied his words.
“Next weekend I’m going with Mandy to buy furniture at an auction sale in Livermore.”
“I could meet you there.”
“That’s okay. It’s going to be hectic and I have certain pieces in my mind that I’m looking for. I’ve spent the last few months studying Victorian furniture. I’ve got a good idea of what will fit in the inn and enhance the rooms.”
“Sounds like a brush-off.”
She touched his hand. “Not really, Rick. It’s just when I get focused like this, I tend to say the wrong things and you get upset. I’m better off alone.”
“But you’ll be with Mandy.”
Mandy isn’t nearly the work that you are.
“Mandy’s … she’s just a friend. Really, Rick, it will be better that way. If I find anything, you can help me arrange it the next weekend when you’re scheduled to be here.”
Sarah knew she was making excuses, but she kept the smile on her face and her eyes on his, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
After a moment he said, “Sure. I’ll be happy to help.”
“Coffee?” The waitress asked.
Sarah shook her head. “We’d better get going.”
They split the check and left the restaurant.
“I’ll miss you,” Rick said and pulled her in closely.
The pounding surf should have added a romantic undertone to their kiss.
Should have.
• • •
Sarah turned south when she left Rio del Mar. It was a good day for a drive the antique s
hops and second hand stores of Moss Landing.
She let herself relax as she drove down Highway 1, the messy eucalyptus giving way to Watsonville’s strawberry fields. Black plastic covered raised beds stretched to the bay while hawks and seagulls soared overhead.
After the highway went from four lanes to two, she kept a lookout for one of her favorite houses — a faux castle that looked like it had been created from cement blocks. Originally gray, the inhabitants had changed the exterior paint to lime green. The incongruity always made her chuckle.
She banished all thoughts of Rick from her head. No decision could be made right now and thinking about him ruined her mood.
Why?
Not now.
As the slough began to open up by the side of the road, she kept an eye out for egrets and herons among the stalking birds. It had been a long time since she’d walked through Elkhorn Slough Preserve. She imagined hiking through the waterways with her baby on her back searching out shore birds and otters. Would she have to do it on her own?
Rick had never been one for the outdoors.
Back in your box.
Sarah eased into the small streets of Moss Landing and stopped at the first shop she saw, a cheerful yellow house held together by paint instead of nails. Perfect.
The stylish matron who greeted her was out of place and looked like she’d drive a hard bargain.”Can I help you find something?”
“No thanks, I’m just browsing.” Almost immediately, Sarah spotted the perfect Matisse vase. It was out of period, but something needed to be done to wake up the gloomy Victorians and t would be a perfect match for red carnations.
Why am I thinking about carnations? Rick brought me daisies.
Sarah forced her mind back to the present by looking for the price. Good. The price fit her budget. Within a half hour she found several bright paintings for the kitchen and bath, along with brass glass-knobbed hooks for the entryway.
The hooks would have to do until she got a hall stand.
She thanked the woman and walked into the sunshine with her treasures. February in California. She pitied the poor people who had to deal with snow.
She hit the jackpot in the next store — a dozen sepia-toned paintings of someone’s aged and grumpy relatives. They would be perfect for the hallway and stairs. Her other find was a cut glass ceiling lamp to light the entryway.
Packages safely in the trunk, she drove out to the edge of town, parked in the lot and stared at the waves hitting the sand while letting her thoughts come uncensored.
The weekend had been a strain. For all she hoped for a reconciliation with Rick, they hadn’t made any progress. If anything, they were further apart. She’d have to work harder. Her baby deserved every chance in the world to succeed. Rick was right. Studies showed kids with two parents did better than those with only one.
At least that’s what some research said. She imagined if both parents were addicts, other options might be better.
California it might be, but the sun still went down early in the winter. As she drove north, Sarah’s spirits drooped with the darkening day. She passed the exit to the inn and went down to the seaside shops of Costanoa. She needed a drink with a friend, even if the drink was tea and her friend was the waitress serving it to her.
Costanoa Grill was empty except for a few patrons watching a basketball game on the bar television. Sarah spotted Mandy and waved. Mandy pointed to a window table and mouthed, “It’s mine.”
Sarah gratefully lowered herself into the wooden chair. Although she’d slept in, her lack of a nap was beginning to catch up with her.
“What’ll it be?” Mandy asked. “How was your weekend?”
“Tea. Tense.”
“Chamomile for you, my girl.” Mandy slid a menu onto the table. “You should eat something.”
“I had a late lunch at Ben’s, the new restaurant in Rio del Mar.”
“Then you definitely need dinner.”
Sarah’s stomach rumbled in response.
“See? I’ll be right back.” Mandy dashed off to another corner of the restaurant.
Sarah stared out the window at the small shops that made up the town. Across the street was a tiny, but elegantly appointed inn. She knew from talking with her mother that it was doing well.
I hope my inn will be as successful.
Mandy placed a pot of tea on the table, along with a cup and a tea caddy with a variety of individual packets and sweeteners. A creamer and saucer of lemons were set beside it.
Sarah stared at the bounty. “I hadn’t thought about what I needed for tea service.”
Mandy slid in the chair across from her. “Me either. It makes me wonder what else I left off your list.”
Sarah laughed. “I’m sure opening the inn will be an adventure. As long as we have enough paper towels and toilet paper we should be fine!” She poured her tea, using the chamomile Mandy had suggested.
“So — tense, how?”
Leaning back, Sarah sipped her tea before she answered. Mandy was at work, they weren’t getting into a long discussion. And she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to share.
“Spill.” Mandy must have sensed her hesitation.
“I’m confused. I should be doing everything I can to make sure my baby has an intact home. But I say things that upset Rick and we wind up fighting. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“Maybe it’s not you. It takes two to tango — remember?”
“But it is me. I can’t seem to keep my thoughts to myself.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can’t do this all by yourself. He has to accept you the way you are. What kind of parent is he going to be if he gets mad every time he doesn’t like what he’s hearing?”
Sarah put down her cup. She’d never looked at it that way.
“What do I do?” Her voice was musky with tears.
“Can you talk to your mother? Annie?”
Sarah shook her head. “Like I said, Mom has her own perspective on this matter. If I talked to Annie without Mom? Are you kidding?”
Mandy frowned. “You’ve got a point.” She stood. “Wait a minute. Both Annie and your mother talked to someone. A life coach, I think. She may be able to help.”
“Maybe.”
A patron at another table signaled for Mandy. “Got to run. I recommend the crab cakes.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I’ll put the order in.”
I wish the rest of my life was this easy.
Her phone rang. Sarah glanced at the number on her screen. Her mother.
She let it go to voicemail.
• • •
The next morning Sarah rose with determination. She was going to stop letting other people derail her life. She didn’t need to talk to a life coach or a therapist. What she needed to do was put some steel in her spine and get things done.
An hour later, she was stymied. The plaster lath behind the wallpaper in the entry hall wasn’t strong enough to hold her hooks. In fact, all she’d managed to do was put several large holes in the walls. As for the light fixture, she had no idea how to get power to that part of the room without electrocuting herself.
She sighed. She was going to have to hire an electrician.
The one thing she could do was work on marketing. She walked away from the mess, brewed a cup of tea, and settled in her office. As she was bringing up the website to work on it, her cell phone rang again. She glanced at the readout and let it go to voicemail.
Her mother could get answers from Rick if she wanted them so badly. Sarah didn’t know what to say.
An hour later, a knock on the door disturbed her progress.
She expected to see her mother, but when she opened the door she was surprised to see Hunter standing there. She smiled. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself.”
They looked at each other for a long moment, but the silence wasn’t unpleasant.
“Is your — ” he began.
“Rick? No, he’s
not. He doesn’t live here.”
Hunter pursed his lips, opened his mouth as if to ask something and shut it again.
The cool morning air began to seep into the house and she shivered.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t make you stand her with the door open. “I stopped by to see if you needed any help. As a friend, I mean. Nothing more. I’m at loose ends waiting for another sheetrock job and figured you could use some help. Any more leaky faucets?” He grinned, but there was a question in the smile.
“You said you were familiar with electricity. What exactly do you know about electricity?”
“You mean other than turning it off before you start work?”
Damn. He wasn’t going to be able to help. She so wanted to have him around.
I shouldn’t be having these thoughts. She looked at Hunter and warmth flooded her body.
No need to think about it now.
He glanced at the entryway walls. “Looks like you went looking for wires.”
“No.” She followed his gaze and grimaced. “I was trying to hang hooks.”
“Tough to do on plaster lath.”
“So I discovered.” She shivered again. “I don’t think there’s anything to help with if you don’t know much about electricity. Thanks for stopping by.”
“Wait!” he said as she started to close the door. “I can handle electricity. I was just kidding around.”
“Really?” The corners of her lips lifted. “Come in! Let me make you some coffee!”
He chuckled. “What do I get if I know how to fix those holes?”
“Leftover chocolate torte from the Costanoa Grill?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Daisy raced from her spot in the drawing room, barked excitedly, and stood on her hind legs, her paws on Hunter’s shoulders.
“Hi there, Daisy,” Hunter said. “But you better get down. Not a good habit to get into. I’m sure the highfalutin people visiting Sarah’s Inn wouldn’t take too kindly to being pawed.”
Daisy obediently got down.
Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Highfalutin?”
Hunter laughed. “One of brass was an older guy from the south. He had some really strange expressions. I guess I adopted a few.”
“I guess, but if I don’t solve my electric problems, I’m not going to have guests of any kind.”
