“That sounds like just what you need.”
Max took several of the pamphlets and warily glanced through them.
“There’s stuff in here talking about masturbation, Nadine,” she said, hardly able to whisper the words. “Why would I want to do that? I know I’m looking at things she’s proposed down the road, but still!”
“So what?” Nadine tried to be patient. “Masturbation isn’t an ugly word.”
“So, I don’t do that!”
“Exactly,” Nadine sighed. “At least talk to Dr. Nelson about your fears and apprehensions.”
“How am I going to talk to her about, you know, touching myself? That’s disgusting!” Max put the pamphlets on the table.
“You’re a grown woman, Maxine. The doctor is only trying to help you. It’s no different from getting a pap smear. That can be embarrassing, but you do what you have to do.”
“I’ve never had one,” Max confessed. “Not since, you know.”
“What? You’re twenty six years old!”
“I know that! There’s no need. I’m not having sex.”
“That’s not good. I’m calling my doctor.” Nadine picked up her phone.
Max took the phone out of her hand. “Look, let me take it one step at a time. I’ll consider the treatments she’s recommending, OK? We’ve talked, and now she wants to move to exposure therapy. She wants me to face my fears in a safe environment. I mean, how am I supposed to interact with men and still feel safe? I don’t get it.”
Nadine crossed her arms across her chest. “Tell her what you’ve just told me. Tell her that you don’t have any sexual desires. Tell her, and she will help you. At least promise me that you will tell her that you haven’t had a pap smear. I’m sure she’ll understand your fears, and she may even have some suggestions for you.”
Max leaned back on the sofa and fanned herself with a pamphlet.
Her mind instantly went to her father. She wanted their relationship to improve. They hadn’t been close since the incident. She had hurt him with the things she’d said after the police found her. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but the damage had been done. She knew it was wrong to put the blame on all men for what happened to her. It was wrong to tell her father that she hated all men including him because he had a penis. Her father had been devastated, especially after she avoided being around him. After having lunch with him recently, she realized that going to Dr. Nelson was helping her to help him come to grips with what happened as well. Even though she wasn’t convinced that she had PTSD, giving Dr. Nelson the benefit of the doubt couldn’t hurt anything.
She groaned to herself and picked up the pamphlets. She wanted to get better and move forward, but she could tell that this whole thing was going to be an uphill journey.
CHAPTER 1
Hear you deaf, and look you blind, that you may see.- Isaiah 42:18
Matthew planted himself at an empty picnic table and sipped his beer. He glanced around the throng of people to see if maybe he could see some girl that he could bed that night to redeem this God-awful weekend. He wasn’t feeling this family gathering at all. He hoped that he’d run up on a few single good-looking women to help him pass the time.
However, as his luck would have it, he didn’t see anyone of interest. The females in attendance were mostly from his family, though there were a few he spotted that he didn’t recognize.
His uncle David threw this cookout every year, and attendance had increased gradually until now it seemed most everybody in his uncle’s church and the entire population of Horry County was here at the park. Matthew knew that he’d catch it from his parents if he missed it.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like family gatherings; he did. However, he’d had a very hectic week at work and hadn’t taken the time to bring a date. He knew what that meant. His family would be all in his business trying to match him up with some available girl, and he wasn’t in the mood. Most likely the girl would be some goody-two-shoes that would go crying back to her family or his uncle when he dropped her, and then he’d catch hell. Nope, he wasn’t going to go out with any girl his family brought his way.
He sipped his beer and then threw the bottle in a park trash can. He walked over to the cooler and retrieved another. At least the beer his father provided was cold. He was surprised that the good reverend hadn’t banned beer, but then again most likely he didn’t know about the cooler since it wasn’t over there with the regular drinks.
“Don’t you think you ought to call it quits?”
Matthew looked around and found his mother behind him. She had that look on her face.
“I’m a big boy, Ma. I know how to hold my liquor,” he said. “Besides, it’s just beer, and this is only my third.”
“Matthew, you don’t have to be so snippy,” Rachel replied. “I know you don’t really want to be here.”
“Yet here I am,” he responded.
“Jeremy is here all the way from New York,” Rachel hissed. “Stop being an ass and go over and speak to him and Aura. Why are you hiding out over here by the beer cooler that’s not even supposed to be here? Daniel will have a fit if he finds out that your father brought it to his cookout.”
“I told you that I’d come, and I’m here. What do you want from me?” Matthew looked away. “As for the beer, there are so many people here that I doubt if he finds out unless you tell him yourself.”
“I want you to act like a civil human being!” his mother said, crossing her arms across her chest. “There are some nice girls here.”
“Oh God!”
“Don’t start with me! Why don’t you mingle?”
“Fine,” Matthew replied, walking off.
He looked around and spotted Jeremy with his arm around his wife as they sat eating.
“Hey, cuz,” he said, approaching them. “Glad you could make it.”
“Glad to be home,” Jeremy replied happily.
“Are you having a good time, Mrs. Ferguson?” he asked Aura.
“Yes, thank you,” Aura said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Good.” He turned back to Jeremy. “Excuse me. I see someone I want to meet.” Matthew was sure that she was holding it against him that he’d been against their marriage when Jeremy first told him about it. He took another swig of the beer and turned his eyes to a redhead standing nearby. He was careful to stay out of his uncle’s line of vision while he had the beer.
“Hello,” Matthew said, walking up to her. She wasn’t bad looking. Maybe he could spend some time with her as long as she wasn’t one of those good church girls.
“You and Jeremy could pass for brothers!” the woman exclaimed. “You look identical, well, except for the eyes and he’s a bit taller. I’m Theresa.” She extended her hand, and he put on his best smile as he took her hand in his.
“Yes, I’ve been told that Jeremy and I look alike all of our lives. We’re cousins.” Matthew smiled. “How do you know Jeremy?”
“Oh, I met him at the King of Myrtle Beach modeling contest some years back. He got his start with the agency I work for.”
“So what do you do for a living?” Matthew asked, eyeing her full bosom that was about to explode from her t-shirt. “You look like a model yourself.”
Theresa giggled. “You’re smooth, I’ll give you that much, but no, I’m not a model there.”
Matthew watched as an older man with salt and pepper hair quickly walked over to them and put his arm possessively around Theresa’s waist. Matthew looked from Theresa to the man who was staring at him. He raised an eyebrow at Matthew, and Matthew in turn suppressed a chuckle. The man looked old enough to be her father with his hair and round belly. The man pulled Theresa close to him and smiled down at her before looking back at Matthew, who continued to sip his beer, unimpressed.
“This is Gerald, my boyfriend,” Theresa said happily, unaware of the two men sizing each other up. “Gerald, don’t you think he looks just like Jeremy? I was just telling him that the
y could pass for twins.”
“The model you introduced me to that’s married to the black woman?” he asked, looking Matthew up and down. “Yeah, he does look like him.”
“Gerald!” Theresa eyed Matthew to see if he were offended by Gerald’s reply.
“What?” Gerald asked, shrugging his shoulders. “I was just saying.”
He looked at Matthew. “So, you go that way too? Where’s your wife?”
“What way is that?” Matthew asked coolly.
“You know.”
“If I knew what you were talking about, I’d answer your question.”
“I was asking if you prefer women like your cousin has,” Gerald asked. “Since you two look so much alike, maybe you think alike also, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about you trying to pick up my girl.”
Matthew sipped his beer and looked at Theresa.
“You got a real winner here,” he responded coolly turning away and tossing the empty bottle in the trash. “Enjoy the rest of the cookout.”
“Gerald, let’s go get something to drink,” Theresa pulled on his arm, clearly embarrassed.
“Oh, sure,” Gerald replied. “See you later.”
Matthew shook his head. This was exactly why he didn’t want to get involved in any interracial relationship.
Matthew watched as Eric approached him where he sat. He hadn’t really had much of a conversation with his brother since he married and moved in with his wife and Maxine. He wasn’t about to go over to that house with that smart mouth sister in law of his being there.
“Hey stranger,” Eric said, sitting down beside his brother.
“Hey yourself,” Matt said, eying him. “I can’t believe that you were able to get away from your ball and chain and come over here to sit with me.”
“Nadine is not a ball and chain. Her name is Nadine. Use it, OK?”
“Fine,” Matthew replied, not understanding why he was goading his brother other than the fact that Eric looked totally relaxed and happy while he was bored and miserable.
“Where’s your date, Matthew?” Eric looked around. “You normally don’t come to the cookout without some beauty on your arm.”
“I didn’t bring one,” he admitted and stood up. He glanced around and saw Max talking to someone while holding one of the twins on her hip. She had on a yellow pair of shorts and a yellow and green tank top. He loved how the shorts hugged her round behind. The tank top showed off her full breasts, and he couldn’t help but to stare at her.
“Why haven’t you been over to see your nieces,” Eric asked. “They will be a year next month, and I can count on one hand how many times you’ve been over to the apartment.”
“I’ve been busy,” Matt lied, still eyeballing Maxine on the sly.
“Yeah right,” Eric said as he stretched out his legs. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were avoiding someone by not coming over.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve seen you and the babies at Ma’s. I mean, they’re coming around to accepting you guys, right?”
Eric laughed. “Not really. I mean, Mom is fine. Dad, on the other hand…”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Anyway, enough is enough. I have a plan.” Eric stood up. “Dad left early before Nadine and I got here, and he’s never home when we call Ma and tell her we’re coming by. He’s going to have to face us eventually.”
Matthew grunted.
“Excuse me a minute.” Matthew watched his brother walk over to where Nadine and Max were talking.
He noticed that Nadine had put on some weight since she’d had the babies, but Eric seemed not to mind. He surmised that his brother was totally into her as he watched him pull her into his arms. Matthew could see the resemblance between Maxine and Nadine, but Max had a slimmer build than her sister, and she was a lot taller.
He watched as Eric gave Nadine a kiss. Matthew knew that he’d never loved any woman like that—at least, not like his brothers loved their women. He never felt any lasting feelings for the women he had been with. Sure, he was attracted to them and they enjoyed each other’s company, but there hadn’t been any woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. They wanted sex, and he wanted sex, and that was all there was to it.
He was a bit jealous of their happiness, but he’d never admit it. Both of his brothers had found wives and he was the oldest, still jumping from bed to bed, and it was getting to be a bit tiresome. A part of him wanted more than just sex. He wanted a woman he could talk to, someone he could share his life with. Maybe he’d find someone one day, but right now he made up his mind that he’d do what he’d always done, which was to date and sleep with the women he was with.
He watched as Eric walked back toward him with a silly grin on his face, but then looked away as he got near.
“Look,” Eric said, plopping down on the bench beside his brother. “I never did tell you what Nadine said you could do to repay Max.”
Matthew gave his brother a wary glance and then returned his attention to the people walking around. After a few moments of silence, he couldn’t take it anymore.
“What? What has that wife of yours cooked up in her brain?”
“We both think that you can help us help Max. We need you to come around to visit, you know, spend time with the three of us at the house, and you can have dinner with us from time to time.”
Matthew looked at his brother as if he had lost his mind. “You want me to court her? You’ve got to be kidding! I’ll do something to help if I can, but I’m not dating Max,” he spat. “Go back, and tell your wife that I said absolutely not!”
“Her name is Nadine,” Eric responded calmly, looking down on his older brother from his several inches of extra height.
“I’m not doing it,” Matthew said firmly. “You need to come up with something else.”
Eric’s voice was pleading. “I’m not asking you to date her. She needs to be around men more. It’s part of her therapy. You can come over to dinner, talk to her. You know, just be friendly. I’m not asking you to marry her!”
“What if she freaks out? No, thank you, Eric! The woman’s crazy. I knew that when I met her.” Matthew shook his head before sitting back on the bench.
“Crazy enough to save your butt last year,” Eric responded.
Matthew knew that his brother was pulling out the ace in the hole. Max had saved his business from ruin. He was grateful, but did that mean that he had to date the woman?
“You’re not going to let me forget that one, will you?” Matthew shot back.
“Where would you be right now if she hadn’t come to you with that information? Where would your business be? You’d just be another flim-flam victim! You owe her, Matthew. Show some gratitude!” Eric said, coming into his personal space.
Matthew sighed and looked up at Eric towering over him. He knew his brother was right. However, he didn’t want to get too close to Max.
“What are you afraid of,” Eric asked as if reading his mind. “You said yourself that you aren’t attracted to black girls. Helping Max ought to be a piece of cake for you. You won’t have to worry about getting emotionally attached to her. Just be a friend to her is all we’re asking.”
Matthew had to admit Max had saved him from making the biggest mistake of his life. All he had to do was to be nice to her and talk to her. He could do that. He could come around and try to be a friend. She didn’t have any misconceptions of a romance, and she didn’t like him like that. He’d hidden his feelings all these years, and there was no reason to change now. In fact, this could be the perfect opportunity to get over whatever it was that drew his attention to black girls to begin with. Being around Maxine James was sure to kill any desires in that direction once she opened that big mouth of hers.
“All right, Eric. Tell Nadine I’ll do it. What will Max think, though, with me coming around? She and I are like oil and water. How will you explain my presence,” he pointed out. “She won’t like this one bit.”<
br />
“Nadine is going to talk to her. Max knows that she needs to interact with men, and Nadine is going to tell her that we asked you to come over. We won’t lie to her. It’s just conversation, friendly conversation.”
Eric stretched out on the picnic bench. Matthew watched his brother for a moment before he responded. “I hope you and Nadine aren’t thinking about trying some sort of matchmaking scheme between me and Maxine James,” he warned. “I told you—”
“I know, I know. You don’t date black girls. That’s fine. I don’t think Max likes white guys either after what happened to her, so you two should get along as friends just fine.” Eric was grinning with his hands behind his head.
“Just because that child abuser was white, she shouldn’t hold it against an entire race!” Matthew shot back hotly. “And those people call us prejudiced!”
“Hold your horses, Matt. I was just speculating. Max hasn’t actually said that she doesn’t like white guys specifically. To tell the truth I don’t think she likes any men right now. I’m surprised, though, that you’re so sensitive on the subject when you could care less about her.”
Matthew turned his back to Eric and scanned the crowd. “I am just saying that she shouldn’t judge all by the actions of a few.”
“Brother, you just remember those words,” Eric said, laughing. “Sometimes you need to take your own advice!”
Max looked at Nadine as if she had two heads. They had arrived home after being at the cookout all day and had just put the babies to bed. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had seen Eric talking to his brother at the cookout, but she had no idea that they had been discussing her. Now Nadine was telling her that she and Eric were setting her up with Matthew! No wonder Eric went to his uncle’s home under the pretense of helping them unload all the things they had brought to the cookout. He was avoiding her, knowing that she would let him have it for his matchmaking schemes!
Broken: The sequel to THE PREACHER'S SON Page 2
