“Did you like it?”
“Yes,” she said, blushing.
“What happened after that?”
“He kept touching me and kissing me. He pulled my shorts down and put his hand in my panties. I don’t know why I didn’t make him stop, but I liked it, and I was getting hot all over, and then he told me that he wanted to be the first to make me cum. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to cum, but he kept touching me until I did. At least, I think I did, and he seemed to know that I did.”
“Why do you think that you should have stopped him?”
“I mean, it’s not like he’s my boyfriend,” she replied, wringing her hands in her lap. “We aren’t in a relationship.”
“And why should you have stopped him?”
“Like I said, he’s not my boyfriend. That’s something boyfriend and girlfriends do, right?”
“You said that it felt nice. You had the same reaction you had when he kissed you after that date, didn’t you? You feel that things should happen in a certain order, right? Date, kiss, relationship, boyfriend, touch, in that order; is that what you’re telling me?”
“I don’t know. This is all so new to me. I mean, I don’t understand why he did what he did if he doesn’t care for me like that! Why would he do that? Why would he want to be the first to make me have an orgasm if he doesn’t care about me? It doesn’t make any sense!”
“Why do you think he did it? If he doesn’t care for you, why would he care about your pleasure?”
“I don’t know. He says he cares, but then he talks in circles about having a relationship with me. He wants my body, I know that much, but he doesn’t want the grief he’ll get for being with me. I was tired of his excuses, and I hung the phone up on him and told him not to call me again until he made up his mind.”
“You talked to him on the phone? Back up. I’ve missed something.”
Max sighed. “After we left the gym, he called me. We didn’t leave on good terms, so he called me saying that he cared for me. I could tell that he was, you know, touching himself while he was talking to me. What man does that? Masturbate while you’re trying to have a conversation?”
“OK, let’s go back to you and Matt being in your office, and he said that he wanted to be the first man to make you cum. How do you know that you had an orgasm?”
“I’m not sure. I mean, I was hot, and he was touching me, making me hotter. Then it was like some sort of explosion in my vagina and my stomach. I thought that I was going to faint. He said that I was cumming when I started to have these spasms in my vagina. He had his fingers in me, and I guess he could feel them too.”
“Did it feel good?”
“Yes, really good.”
“What happened afterwards? Did he cum?”
Max ran her hand over her face and looked at Dr. Nelson, who was watching her curiously.
“No, I messed up. I told him that I loved him. I mean, it just came out, and then he shut down and pulled back. I knew immediately that I’d made a mistake. He doesn’t want my love.”
“Why wouldn’t he want your love?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m not the right type of woman he wants to be with. But then he called me, it was after midnight, asking me about our relationship while he was touching himself.”
“Max, we can’t assume to know what other people are thinking. We’ve talked about this before. Why do you think that he doesn’t want your love? Did he say so?”
“I know. You’re right. No, he didn’t say that he didn’t want my love, just that a relationship with me wouldn’t work, but on the other hand he’s getting off telling me that he’s sniffing his fingers while he tries to, you know. This man is driving me crazy!”
Dr. Nelson smiled at her outburst, and Max looked at her, totally frustrated. She needed some answers, though she wondered if the good doctor could provide them to her satisfaction.
“Why would he tell me that he doesn’t want me on one hand, but then lick his fingers on the other? Is it just sex? He called it the natural progression of things, whatever that means!” Max said, throwing up her hands.
“It’s a way for him to continue feeling the things he felt when you were both together.” Max stared at her a moment with her mouth open. She quickly closed her mouth and stood up, hugging herself.
“I feel so stupid sometimes! I don’t understand Matthew, and I don’t understand his sexual feelings. When he told me that he licked his fingers, I was floored, but I was aroused also.”
She sat back down staring at her hands which were in her lap.
“Max, you are not stupid. You are uninformed, inexperienced and immature to the ways of sex. That is not a bad thing unless you stay that way after you receive the information you need. Now when you were together, what did he smell like?”
“Musky sweet, then after his shower like Coast soap. But I must admit that I liked the musky smell better.” She found herself blushing again.
“That musky smell is pheromones. The body releases them to tell our mate that we are attracted to them. That’s why you liked it better. Could you still smell him after you were home?”
“No, but I remember what he smelled like. It was stuck in my head.”
“When he called you, did the smell come back to you?”
“Yes.”
“Was that a bad thing to remember?”
“No, I liked it.”
“So you were both on the phone, and he was touching himself. Why do you think that was?”
“I guess he wanted an orgasm because he gave me one.”
“But he didn’t need to have you on the phone to do that. Why did he call you?”
“That’s what I don’t understand.”
“You admit that you thought of his scent when he called you and it made you hot. He told you what he did when he smelled you on his fingers. Max, he was thinking of you. He didn’t want to just have an orgasm. He wanted it to be with you when he had it. He wanted to share his orgasm with you.”
Max stared at her as the words sunk in. Matthew wanted to be with her. He wanted to complete what they had started. She knew enough to realize that he could have done it on his own, in the shower or wherever, but he wanted to hear her voice, think about her and what they’d shared earlier.
“Wow.”
“Sexy, huh?” Dr. Nelson asked, grinning.
“Yes.” Max nodded.
“I want you to think about something. Why didn’t you freak out when he touched you in the gym? Not long ago you didn’t like men touching you, correct?”
“Yes, that’s true. It’s different with Matthew. I can’t explain it.”
“You don’t have to explain attraction. You’re attracted to him, and he’s attracted to you. That attraction is stronger than the fear you felt prior to meeting Matthew. That’s progress you need to recognize.”
“You’re right. He doesn’t cause my triggers that we talked about before. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have all that chest hair. Then when he was with me, he was talking to me in a soothing voice, telling me what he wanted to do and asking me if I liked it. It felt like he cared about me.”
“I think he does care about you. I think he’s wrestling with his own feelings just like you’re wrestling with yours.”
“You know, I gave him an ultimatum and hung up in his face. Now I wonder if he’ll call me back.”
“Maybe that’s what he needs. The old ‘piss or get off the pot’ decision.”
“Yes, I’ll see how that goes. I’ll let you know the week after Thanksgiving when I have my next session. We’re having big family dinner, and he’s supposed to be there.”
“Well, I look forward to hearing the details. Don’t be so quick to think you know what he’s thinking. Ask first.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. I’ll see you in a few weeks unless you need me,” Dr. Nelson replied as she stood up. “You have my number.”
Max nodded. “Yes, I’ll call you if I
need you.”
Max left the office feeling more relaxed. She knew that she had made great progress since she had been going to the sessions. She slept better at night, and she had grown comfortable around Eric, even when he walked around half-naked. Well, he was always somewhat decent, but he did at times walk around with no shirt on. She didn’t quite understand it. Ever since she saw him and her sister together, being near him hadn’t bothered her that much. Nadine seemed to adore Eric and vice versa. They just seemed so right together. She hoped that one day someone would look at her the way Eric looked at Nadine, like he wanted to eat her up.
She blushed at her own choice of words while thinking back over seeing them together. She wondered what it would be like to have a man love her like that.
She pushed the thought from her mind and headed for home to change and get ready for work.
She pulled up and found out that Nadine was leaving.
“How’d it go?” she asked, looking worried.
“Fine.” Max smiled. Nadine was worse than a mother hen.
Nadine walked over to her hugged her. “What about Rogers? Are you going to be all right?”
“Nadine, I’m fine. He’s in Florence or Socatee, miles and miles away. He has one of those things on his ankle. He can’t make a move without the state knowing about it. I am fine, OK?”
“All right. Look, Eric’s just come in, and I’ve got to run. Go on in. Erika and Derika have a surprise for you.”
She walked in and found Eric gathering clothes to be washed. Of course, he was walking around in gym shorts and a sleeveless tee shirt. She was amazed at the amount of chest hair he had and that she was getting used to it somewhat.
“Eric, it’s November. Aren’t you cold?”
“Not really, but if it bothers you I’ll put something else on,” he said, looking up with his arms full of laundry.
“I’m so over that,” she said, thinking about him and Nadine in the hallway. “So, what’s the big surprise?”
Eric grinned, sitting the basket on the sofa. “Come see.”
He dashed over to Erika and Derika in their high chairs. He then opened two small containers of apple sauce and placed one in front of each baby and handed each of them their baby spoons. Both babies began using the spoon trying to put the apple sauce in their mouths.
“They’re using their spoons by themselves!” Max exclaimed happily.
“They’re messy, but they get about seventy-five percent of the food in their mouths,” he said, laughing. “They don’t even want my help.”
He reached for the spoon, and Erika squealed in protest. “See?”
“Yeah, I do,” Max laughed. “Just put plenty of newspaper around their chairs to catch the mess.”
“Good idea.”
“They are growing so fast. We can’t move into the larger house soon enough. I wish we could do it before the first of the year.”
“Didn’t you say that the rental office had someone who wants this place? Maybe they will let us move a month early. Why don’t you check?”
Max thought about it a moment. “Maybe you’re right. I just might do that. We could be in the new house for Christmas!”
Max hurried to change while Eric tried to fed the babies over their squeals of protest. She called the gym and was surprised to find that business was quite slow. She told Penny that she would be there in about an hour.
She returned to the living room and found Eric cleaning up the mess while the babies were in the playpen.
“You leaving?” he asked, glancing up at her as he wiped the food off of the floor.
“In a little bit,” she replied. “The rental office is closed, so I am going to check with them on tomorrow about the lease.”
She paused for a moment. “Eric, can we talk about Matthew?”
Eric looked at her. “Sure. What do you want to know?”
“Has he always been so narrow minded? Why are you two so different?”
Eric paused as if thinking for a moment. “Race was never something that was discussed in our household. When I started dating Nadine in tenth grade, we hid our relationship mainly because of her father. He told her that he didn’t like white people. When I told Matt about Nadine, he just told me that it was ‘puppy love’ and that I’d get over her and move on. He didn’t get upset about it until I told him that I wanted to marry her.”
Max gathered together her things for work. Eric walked over to her.
“Don’t worry about Matt. I can tell he’s struggling. He’s not happy. I don’t know what the big deal is. I almost feel like something must have happened in the past. Maybe he was rejected by a black girl, I don’t know. I know that he really likes you. He doesn’t like talking on the phone, and I heard that he was on the phone with you the other night. He’s dated a lot of girls, but he always loses interest within a couple of weeks. I don’t remember him ever being in love, and I feel that now that it’s happened, he doesn’t know what to do.”
“Perhaps he’s just looking for sex,” Max speculated as she went over to the playpen and kissed the babies goodbye.
“I don’t think it’s just sex, Max. I can tell. You’ve gotten in his head, and that’s a dangerous thing for us Ferguson men. I’m telling you that at this point if you ever gave up the good stuff you’d never be able to get rid of him. That’s just how we are,” he said, grinning and walking with her to the door.
“So are you telling me that you’ll be around awhile?” she teased.
“You got it,” he said, laughing. “I’m here to stay.”
Max was confident in Eric, but she wasn’t so sure about his brother. Still, Eric had lived with him all his life and he knew his brother pretty well. Perhaps he was still struggling with his feelings. Well, he’d have to work that out for himself. She couldn’t push him, and she wasn’t going to try. She did miss him, though, and she couldn’t help thinking about the time together in her office. How in the world was she going to be able to work in there again without thinking about what happened on her desk?
She got in the car and started the engine. She had a feeling that she wasn’t the only one thinking about their last passionate meeting. Perhaps the call she wanted from him would come sooner than she thought.
Rogers grinned to himself. Things were working out exactly as he had hoped. While in prison he had expressed an interest in gardening and landscaping. He needed a job with a certain amount of freedom to move around. His interest had worked in his favor just as he had hoped. He had been assigned to Horry Landscaping Company.
He figured that working outside would fit into his plans perfectly, and working with a landscaping company would provide the opportunity to travel. He had thrown himself into the work, and it had paid off.
“Rogers, I’m impressed with your work,” Carl Jessup, the company manager, told him when he came into his office. “We have another big job next week. If you keep this up you will have no problem finding work after your release.”
Rogers grinned at the tall man with wavy black hair and brown skin. He thought that Jessup was a Hispanic man, but changed his mind after he heard him talk and found that he had no accent.
“Thank you, sir,” he replied, still grinning. “I like this type of work.”
Jessup laughed. “I can tell.” They left the office and walked outside.
“Where is this job we have next week?” Rogers asked casually.
“It’s in Aynor, but we work all over,” Jessup said. “If you keep working like you are doing, I am sure you’ll have a job here for sure. I am going to give a good report to your work release officer if you keep this up. Who knows? It may speed up your time.”
Rogers smiled.
“You originally from around here?” Jessup asked.
“No, I’m from Florence,” Rogers replied. Well, it wasn’t a total lie. He was born in Florence, but he lived both in Conway and Myrtle Beach.
“You from Surfside?” he asked Jessup as they loaded the truck
&n
bsp; “Naw, I’m from Conway.”
“We get many jobs in your hometown?” Rogers inquired, still trying not to seem too eager.
“A few,” Jessup said. “In fact, we have one coming up in a few weeks.”
Well, this was good news. Yes, things were working just as he had planned.
Matthew walked through the mall, not sure why he was even there.
His mother had told him about the combined dinner for Thanksgiving, and he knew that he was expected to be there.
He wasn’t so sure if he wanted to go. After the disagreement with both Eric and Max, he wondered if he would even be missed. He wasn’t sleeping any better, and Max was always on his mind. He was tired of fighting his feelings. His mother had asked him for money to help with the big Thanksgiving dinner, and he gladly made a contribution. He was sure that everyone would be fawning over the babies, and Eric would be beaming as a proud papa. He thought about what Eric had said to him. Was his unhappiness really that obvious?
Matt wandered from store to store, glancing at the merchandise. He wanted to talk to Max, but she had been perfectly clear that she didn’t want to talk to him until he was able to commit. How could he express his feelings to her? How could he make it right?
“Matthew?”
He heard someone call his name and turned around only to be confronted with Max’s mom coming out of one of the stores.
“Hello, Mrs. James,” he said, smiling. He searched her face for a resemblance to Max. She smiled, and he got what he wanted. Max had her mother’s eyes and her smile.
“Shopping or just window shopping?” she asked, eying him curiously.
“Just looking.”
“Some people have started Christmas shopping already,” Mrs. James replied.
“I’m not ready to start doing that yet, even though I did check out some boots that Max told me that she really liked, but they are way too pricey.”
“Really?” Matthew said with a look in the store. “Which ones?”
Broken: The sequel to THE PREACHER'S SON Page 19
